Where Possible, Don't Leave Crumbs

Where Possible, Don't Leave Crumbs

Crumbs shouldn't be grabbing headlines, crumbs as they may.  But unless we are meticulous enough in our discipline and behavior, even the seemingly innocuous crumbs can blow-up to be a thread worth spending time.  But where possible, DON'T LEAVE CRUMBS in our daily lives because we want to leave things unmarked and not unkempt, where possible.

The most attractive 'low-hanging fruit' in our daily lives is simply learning from mistakes.  Some of these mistakes do happen the first time but that's only 50% understandable because at least 50% of those mistakes could have been averted if we simply leveraged on our fundamentals in life.  In the first place, 'WE WERE NOT BORN YESTERDAY'.

Even things as mundane as slipping when you step on banana peel, there are tons of similar mistakes which could have been avoided with the least efforts, in fact.  How to avoid as much mistakes as possible ?  BE FOCUSED on what you are doing, period.  You can be an expert in your trade but unless you are focused, expect a spotty record at best.  Where possible, AVOID DISTRACTIONS. Do TAKE BREAKS.  We're not machines who can operate non-stop.  REACH out to your HELPLINE, if need be.  

In life, we don't want to see the path we travelled, littered with debris all over the place.  If you don't learn lessons from your mistakes, you'll flounder in your academic work over and over again.  Your relationships, it may skid.  Your work, it may continue 'going south'  Your business, God knows how long it will hang by a thread.

In whatever foxhole you're now down deep, each time you do commit a faux pas, to TURNAROUND is a must-do and that's when things get tricky because there is no one size that fits all.  Avoiding a REPEAT of mistakes is non-negotiable and unforgivable if such mistakes repeat. But why do we witness a REPEAT of mistakes ?  It all boils down to our personal mantra.  If we swear to put up QUALITY academic work in school, QUALITY relationships with our loved ones, QUALITY work in our jobs, QUALITY product and/or service in our business, you have successfully broken down that vicious cycle at least by a half at the very start.  Think of it, everything is possible as long as you DON'T LEAVE CRUMBS as you trek down the road✅✅✅

That UNCERTAIN Ground Beneath You

That UNCERTAIN Ground Beneath You

Who claims we always stand on firm, rock solid ground ?  That's baloney because that's farthest from the truth.  Truth of the matter. by default, we stand on shaky ground, on wetlands, on marshlands, nothing solid in place for us.  We got to remember that UNCERTAINTY is all around us, never more so than today.  Whether it concerns a global pandemic, the economy or your finances, health or your relationships, much of what lies ahead in life remains uncertain.  Yet, as human beings, we tend to crave for SECURITY.  We want to feel safe and have a sense of control over our lives and well-being.  Fear and uncertainty can leave you feeling stressed, anxious or powerless over the direction of your life.

Did you had those low points in your life when you felt your head and your whole self seemed spinning ?  Hmmm, we're all different in how much uncertainty we can tolerate in life. Some people seem to enjoy taking risks and living unpredictable lives while others find the randomness of life deeply distressing.  But all of us have a limit.  If you feel overwhelmed by UNCERTAINTY, it's important to be aware that you're not alone.  Many of us are in that very same boat.

While we may not acknowledge it, UNCERTAINTY is a natural part of our life.  Very little about our lives is constant or totally uncertain and while we have controil over many things, we can't control everything that happens to us.  As this pandemic demonstrated, life can change very quickly and very unpredictably.  One day, things may be fine, the next day you suddenly become sick, you lose your job or you find yourself struggling to put food on the table or provide for your family.  

To cope with all this UNCERTAINTY, many of us use worrying as a tool for trying to predict the future and avoid nasty surprises, so to speak.  Worrying can make it seem like you have some control over uncertain circumstances.  You may believe that will help you find a solution to your problems or prepare you for the worst.  Maybe if you just agonize over a problem long enough, just think through every possibility or ready every opinion online, you'll find a solution and be able to control the outcome.  Unfortunately, none of this works.  Chronic worrying can't give you more control on uncontrollable events.

How can we handle UNCERTAINTY then?  FOCUS ON CONTROLLING those things under your control.  You could lose your job but you still have control over how much energy you put into searching online for work. CHALLENGE YOUR NEED.  While uncertainty and change are inescapable parts of life, that UNCERTAIN Ground Beneath You can be pre-empted, PROMISE❗❗❗

Is There a Cost in Opportunities ?

Is There a Cost in Opportunities ?

Interesting topic indeed:  Is There a Cost in Opportunities ?  Guess it's high time to clear up the air of some mix-ups and confusion because all along, the misconception is that opportunities are FREE for our taking.  No sirs, in real life, there is no such thing as a FREE LUNCH.  Doing one thing makes you sacrifice the opportunity to do something else of value.  But before I get tempted to talk a bit from an economics perspective, the fact is that OPPORTUNITY COST is the cost of NOT CHOOSING the next best alternative for your money, time or any resource.

That American aphorism "THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH".  The thing is, life is all about values and priorities.  You face trade-offs.  Life requires you to make choices among mutually exclusive alternatives.  Everytime you select something, you forfeit other alternatives and the benefits.

The COST of SOMETHING is what you will give up to get it.  This is opportunity cost.  Question is, you can do anything but not everything.  What will you sacrifice when you choose one option over the others ?  When multiple choices are available, the quality of any option cannot be assessed in isolation from its alternatives.  The PRICE YOU PAY [or the sacrifice you make or the benefits you give up] for doing what you've chosen to do instead of doing something else is an OPPORTUNITY COST.

In short, an OPPORTUNITY COST is the cost of passing up the opportunities that a different option would have afforded.  Many costs are calculated in terms of money.  Howeverm just because you don't have to spend money to do something does not imply that the options you face are without their costs.  For example, you don't have to spend money to go for a hike or watch a sunset.

Thing is, OPPORTUNITY COSTS apply to all our choices, big and small.  Opportunity cost is a concept of greater magnitude.  It is one of the simple concepts in social sciences that are difficult to master and tough to put into consistent practice.  We really need to learn to evaluate life choices via the lens of opportunity costs so that the stakes become clearer.  As we live in a world of scarcity and must therefore make choices, we cannot avoid regret since there are OPPORTUNITY COSTS for every choice we will make. Ultimately, we need to conclude that the BENEFITS we will reap from an opportunity is much bigger as compared to the cost of an opportunity❗❗❗

DON'T Rush Because The Rim WON'T Go Anywhere

DON'T Rush Because The Rim WON'T Go Anywhere

All along we have been encouraging everyone to be decisive, being swift and quick in coming up with their decisions.  But here's the flipside though.  All of us, at some points in our lives, we tend to be rushing to come up with decisions prematurely [and I admit I did make premature decisions in the past]. But in retrospect, we need to remind ourselves that hey, DON'T Rush Because The Rim WON'T Go Anywhere.

If there is anything in life that is constantly difficult, it is all about decision-making.  Even the most petty decisions cannot be easily made 'on the fly'  but before drilling down there, let us look back with regard making poor decisions.  MENTAL ERROR ?  This is most common as this shows up most frequently in our lives.  What can cause these MENTAL ERRORS ?  Oh, we tend to overestimate the importance of events we can easily recall and underestimate the importance of events we have trouble recalling.  This is referred by psychologists as ILLUSORY CORRELATION.

But what are the BARRIERS for us to reach solid decisions ?  One of the common obstacles is the false assumption that we don't have time to think.  But this is NOT acceptable because if we don't think properly, we'll surely make decisions which will end up taking a lot more time, let alone WASTED money and MISSED opportunities.

At hindsight, EFFICIENCY seems prioritized over EFFECTIVENESS when it comes to decisions.  From studies, another common barrier to making good decisions arise from the bias that stems from how human short-term works.  DECISION FATIGUE is another factor that can severely impact our ability to make sound decisions.  Studies have proven that the QUANTITY of DECISIONS impact the QUALITY of those decisions.

How then do we make better decisions ?  #1 - UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM, that's the long and short of it.  #2 - ELIMINATE UNIMPORTANT DECISIONS.  If there's so much clutter [a.k.a. garbage/rubbish], you would end up with a GIGO [Garbage IN-Garbage OUT] dilemma. #3 - GIVE YOURSELF SOME OPTIONS.  Problem is, most people only have a Plan A and with no Plan B, C or D.  #4 - DEVELOP AN APPROACH.  Project managers are clear examples of this best practice.  #5 - GET SOME DISTANCE - When you're too close to make a decision, it's too easy to miss the forest for the trees.  Stepping outside of yourself will help.  Always remember DON'T Rush Because The Rim WON'T Go Anywhere✅✅✅

Fill the Well [You Can't Give What You DON'T Have]

Fill the Well [You Can't Give What You DON'T Have]

Apologies for the confusion.  We're not about to discuss today everything about water and the water supply systems.  Instead, we'll spend a bit of time with regard the WELL of LIFE because that's our life's reservoir of resources from where we can dip and tap if and when we need to draw out from whatever gets stored and kept.  That is our ultimate 'LIFE BANK' which we need to constantly BUILD UP and when it gets reduced, we need to  REPLENISH it before it gets DEPLETED at any time [and that's the last thing we want to happen !].

The most confusing question posed over and over again is how do we FILL THE WELL of life ? GO OUTSIDE and DON'T be a recluse. Life expectancy can be increased simply by going out.  Remember when you go out, your skin gets exposed to sunlight.  That exposure triggers cells in your skin to produce Vitamin D.  HANG OUT with your family and friends.  Just by hanging out with your family and friends, the more connected we are, the better their overall health will be.

Back to our WELL of LIFE.  We don't want to end up with a DRY WELL, right ?  In real life, we don't want our life to end up in tatters with our health in a sordid state, our financials in dire straights, our relationships with our loved ones in peril.  This is painting various bleak scenarios which are not day-to-day exceptions but instead, these are all happening in real life, leading many people to struggle when their 'backs are against the wall'

What happens when we hit that level which says we now have a DRY WELL ?  In its parallelism in life, this means that our life could be skidding, slipping, going down the drain.  Whether it's related to our health, to our performance in school or at work, in business or our finances, breaching that LOW LEVEL of our WELL of LIFE, we really do not want to breach that point where our resources in life are getting depleted and not replenished adequately to fill it up again.  Quite scary is when the water from our WELL drips, drips in drips.....

How can we be 'above water' ?  Start a PASSION PROJECT.  Doing something FUN and exciting in your spare time can REIGNITE your life.  RELOOK YOURSELF AS A CHILD.  Think of your childhood. What were the things you love to do.  GO INSIDE.  Meditate. Start by getting quiet and turn off some of the internal chatter.  SEEK NOVELTY.  When you do something new and different, you'll begin to feel more alive.  Lastly, CONNECT. Evaluate the people around you.  Do they help you GROW ?  Or do they sap your energy ?  Keep relationships that make you feel CONNECTED, LOVED and SUPPORTED so your WELL of LIFE doesn't end up dry❗❗❗

What Works for Me May NOT Work for YOU

What Works for Me May NOT Work for YOU

Supposedly, a formula that works for one should work for all, right ?  Yes and no.  For mathematical equations, that is very true and correct.  Not for human lives though.  In fact, What Works for Me May NOT Work for YOU and vice-versa.  We could be friends from childhood, going to the same school and taking the same tertiary course and even graduating with the same degree but that's where the commonalities should end.  From that point onwards, each person has to plot each one's path for that lifetime of a journey.  BTW, 'copying of answers' is a no-no even if you want to, simply because What Works for Me May NOT Work for YOU.  And things can never be farther from the truth in that case.

We can have twins in real life or soulmates who have trekked identical paths through the years but at some point, both will have to get to those crossroads, as there will be a "Y" road that splits up in two different directions and each one has to decide as to which path is best for him/her.  If one or the other tries to 'copy answers' and blindly toes the line and still chooses the path another person takes, he could end up a casualty along the way, a fallout to be frank about it.  In real life, I've witnessed on a first-person account, people who wanted to cling to another one's journey UNCONDITIONALLY for that matter.  And what's the typical end of the story.  At lease one of the two would end up down deep in the pit.

In our life, we could find three BFF's but at some point, they have to trek separate paths because we are all destined to go and take that unique path.  Never force a square peg in a round hole.  It doesn't work that way.  Even in our relationships, you could be the introvert type while your partner is an extrovert.  In that case, never impose and force your partner to be an introvert because that won't work either.

Even trees next to each other will have to find their way to grow despite the fact that they may all trace back to the same roots. Bottom-line is we need to reach that point where we have to accept that we have our own UNIQUE PATH in life.  How ?  By FIGURING OUT WHAT'S UNIQUE for YOU.  When you're focused on conforming to the expectations of others in order to please, you will LOSE SIGHT of your OWN VALUES and what's unique for you.

LETTING GO the VALUE and EXPECTATIONS of OTHERS is a must-do.  Who knows, you may have unconsciously internalized the desires of either your parent, someone you admire or even the local culture.  Once you begin the process of embracing yourself, you'll begin to realize that you may have been on somebody's else path for years.  Oh, WORRY LESS ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU, that won't help❗❗❗

Criticism Stings, Praise Lingers

Criticism Stings, Praise Lingers

Indeed, this is a study in contrast.  CRITICISM versus PRAISE.  Indeed, CRITICISM STINGS like an open wound whereas PRAISE LINGERS like the scents of perfume.  And just as we welcome and embrace praises that come into our way, the last thing we ever want to hear are criticisms [especially since 99% of criticisms are unsolicited anyway].  And that's just human nature but are we aware that a big percentage of us got LOST along the way because their subalterns and cordon sanitaire would let him hear and see NO criticism at all but instead, they will just let him hear all the hossanah because that's the MUSIC to his ears.

The old school of thought always taught us that PRAISE is what we need because that will boost and motivate us no end, which is true indeed but how often did we hear stories wherein one got so 'intoxicated' with all the HOSSANAHs sang for him such that, from that time onwards, he refuses to open his eardrums for any criticism, no matter how objective and constructive it may be.

The rule of esteem recognizes that all humans need and want praise as this is man's deepest craving.  We know how a simple THANK YOU can make our day.  We need affection to satisfy the need to belong, we want praise so we can feel admired and we need it to satisfy our need for personal worth.  

And here comes CRITICISM.  As Oscar Wilde said, criticism tells you more about the psychology of the critic than the people he or she criticizes.  Per se, CRITICISM is confirmed to be destructive when it is about personality or character, when it is filled with blame, when it is not focused on improvement, when it is based on only one 'right way' and ends up belittling.

What's the lesson we can pick up here ?  While we all want PRAISE, what will redound to our benefit are valid, objective and constructive CRITICISM.  Those are the WAKE-UP calls that should literally wake us up, for us to change, for us to improve, for us to shape up, for us to challenge ourselves.  At the end of the day, it is only ourselves who can be the catalyst for us to improve from where we are now.  As long as the criticism is valid, objective and constructive, those are the triggers for us to SHAPE UP❗❗❗

Play On Your STRENGTHs

Play On Your STRENGTHs

Many times in our lives, we tend to play with a handicap, starting off at a disadvantage and what happens next is for anyone to safely guess that in the end, the protagonist, which could be YOU, will end up failing.  What's the common denominator of most of our FAILING moments ?  Very likely, it's because the losing protagonist was playing on his weaknesses, instead on Playing on one's STRENGTHs.

Knowing one's weaknesses is just perfectly fine but if you start to hinge on those weaknesses, then you will end up disadvantaged most of the times,  Instead, I have witnessed winners who did rack up after success ? Their proven formula ?  It's playing on one's STRENGTHs, period.  How have those chess super grandmasters rack wins after wins ?  It's because they playing on their STRENGTHs.  In the NBA, if a team is at a disadvantage in height, they don't play the low post.

But how do we figure out our strengths then ?  Oh well, there are two criteria namelu, you must be GOOD AT IT and you ENJOY doing it. Once you identify the common denominator of those criteria, then you can figure out what are your strengths and most importantly, you should be playing on your STRENGTHs.

Indeed, once you're able to playing on your STRENGTHs, you can strategize to figure out your STRENGTHs so you ca best leverage on your strength.  We have to remember that it's only natural to struggle with receiving negative feedback From today's blog , will then imply that your team's structure is Ready to go, Remember, most feedback accentuate the NEGATIVE.  

Over into our real-life scenarios.  studies have shown that people remember four negative memories for every positive one.  However, the paradox of human psychology shows that while people remember criticism, they respond to praise.  The former makes them defensive and unlikely to change while the latter produces confidence and the desire to perform better.  What these all tell us is that playing on your STRENGTHs should always be our approach in life because that's where likely you will excel and succeed✅✅✅

Take What's Given

Take What's Given

There's one too many prevailing  thoughts telling us that nothing is free in life.  And technically, that is a correct statement but in real life, there's a bounty of OPPORTUNITIES that knock on our doors for our own taking but the problem lies with us.  It takes us donkey years to think and rethink zillion times whether to grab such.  But hey, as they say, Take What's Given.

What's needed from us is to grab such OPPORTUNITIES, with no time wasted.  Try thinking a zillion times before you decide to take it or not, there are no guarantees that that opportunity will wait there for your picking.  We miss our OPPORTUNITIES of love, career, happiness and success because we refuse to learn the lessons that come our way.  When a new opportunity comes, we would rather stay safe instead of taking a risk.  We have been told to FEAR THE FUTURE and to believe in the past.

All pain and suffering is us an emotional sign to change our current circumstances.  When you don't change, more pain and suffering will come your way.  FEAR dominates us and keeps us from having the life we could have.  We just live in a state of REGRET and SORROW.  Why is it many of us refuse to learn the lessons of those OPPORTUNITIES missed out ?  When in fact, when an opportunity comes our way, it forces us to CHANGE.  Why ?  It's because LIFE is CHANGE.  People who who DO NOT change are left behind.  And I can attest I've known quite a number who refused change,  And that doesn't surprise me for what they are right now.

I met someone, asking me how to discern which direction to take for OPPORTUNITIES. I curtly told him, he can take whichever way he prefers and there will be OPPORTUNITIES therein.  What do we need then ?  MORE COURAGE.  It takes courage to live a happy life.  Connect with your INSTINCTS and disconnect with your mind.  Remember, the real objective of your mind is TO MAKE SURE YOU FAIL.  Your instincts are trying to get you a better life.

What's the ICING on the CAKE ?  It is believing in yourself. What you believe is what will show up in your life.  If and when you really don't believe in yourself, TRUST ME, nothing will work out.  Lastly. STOP BLAMING anyone and TAKE ACTIONS.  If you would like to know why you are not so happy or successful, face the mirror and you will know the person stopping you.  What's the hardest lesson we have been missing to learn many times in our lives ?  It is our innate refusal to Take What's Given, [wrongly] thinking that time is on your side when in truth and in fact, you're running against time, dude✅✅✅

Are You Swimming 'UPSTREAM'

Are You Swimming 'UPSTREAM'

How is it in your life now ?  ARE YOU SWIMMING 'UPSTREAM' ?  Are things like more often you are moving and running UPSTREAM, UPHILL ?  As opposed to moving and running on a levelled road ?  But for today, we'd like to discuss a bit how to handle things when, at some points in our lives, we tend to be SWIMMING UPSTREAM or moving UPHILL.  Why is this a talking point ?  It's because there are more failures, more fallouts happening when we tend to swim UPSTREAM or move UPHILL.  And this is what we need to really dissect because these are inevitable situations we just need to handle our way.

In life, we encounter problems as we breathe.  But it doesn't get to us until we feel a major impact, and that's when it becomes a source of concern, hurt or worse, sorrow.  Life problems, depending on the magnitude, can be clogs in our life's 'wheel of progress' and we may not be able to attain our full potential if we don't learn to place our problems in the proper perspectives.  The worst thing, though, is when we tackle our problems, it will be like SWIMMING UPSTREAM.

But before we just end up talking generalities, it will help to list down the 'weakest links', the areas where we are most vulnerable:  FINANCIAL CRISIS.  HEALTH CRISIS.  FAMILY.  RELATIONSHIP.  MARRIAGE.  WORKPLACE.  CAREER PRESSURE.  UNFAIR TREATMENT.  EMPTINESS. BOREDOM.  CONFUSION. FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS.  HAUNTING PAST.  SAFETY.  FAILURE.  GRIEF.  

So, how can we change courses if things are going UPSTREAM or UPHILL ?  First, go back to REALITY.  Some of us tend to get 'lost' because we tend to be detached from REALITY. Second, EMBRACE YOUR LIFE as it is, instead of AS YOU WISH IT TO BE.  Third, bide your time.  DON'T PANIC.  Fourth, practice gratitude, it pays.  Fourth, STAY CLOSE to your feelings, even the painful ones.  Fifth, accept SUCCESS and FAILURES as part of life's journey.  And lastly but most importantly, tend to your relationships.

At the end of the day, LIFE's a JOURNEY.  ENJOY THE RIDE.  Be POSITIVE and SELF CONFIDENT.  If negativity creeps in, that's akin to Cancer @Stage 1.  Then, BE READY TO HELP OTHERS.  The dividends you will reap with your helping hand will surprise you.  Then CONTINUE TO IMPROVE and renew yourself.  Then 'WALK THE TALK'.  Live what you preach, especially if you are a leader in school, at the workplace or at your business.  Then, NEVER STOP TO LEARN, apply and share your knowledge.  In due time, you will be riding the waters DOWNSTREAM instead of UPSTREAM❗❗❗