Why Excuses Happen

 Why Excuses Happen

Apologies, I don't have the intention to strain your eyes with this tree of countless branches of EXCUSES but this is it in real life.  If need to rattle off all the possible EXCUSES we can cling to, it will be kilometric-long, one too many.  So, the question is, do EXCUSES deserve to be discussed, if at all ?  Absolutely please we have to.  Why ?  It's because EXCUSES are part of our real life but the way EXCUSES are stretched beyond what is reasonable, this deserves our time now to dissect as to how we can handle these EXCUSES dilemma which is dragging many of us down. Isn't it high time for us to have a realization on this ?

Let's figure out why we do make an excuse.  Write it down.  Part of what allows us to make so many EXCUSES is that we don't always realize how much we use them.  Think about your day and note five common reasons you didn't complete a task or reach a goal. When you do it, you might notice something like you can't work out today because you only had an hour, you didn't go grocery shopping because you didn't feel like it or you couldn't go grocery because you didn't feel like it or you couldn't clean your house yesterday because your sibling needed help with her homework.

We can probably identify our own specific types of EXCUSES after doing something similar for yourself.  By cutting down on common EXCUSES [like - I'm too busy, I don't have enough money, I deserve a break], we give ourselves permission to get things done.  

By setting new boundaries [like- I'll work out at 6pm, I get paid tomorrow, then I am allowed to go buy groceries, etc], we demonstrate our commitment to being successful.  Sometimes, all it takes is recognizing that, instead of being TOO TIRED to exercise, maybe you are just not in a hurry right now.  Recognizing these patterns in your behavior helps cut through the confusion and allows you to refocus your energy on getting things done right away.  In short, to stop making excuses take action, TAKE ACTION and it doesn't matter how small the action is.  

When you take that first brave step, that will help you to stop making excuses.  SMALL ACTION steps on a daily basis are an effective way to eliminate those excuses.  What else ?  SET GOALS.  Taking action is a gradual process.  In order to get rid of the vicious cycle of making excuses, set SMALL GOALS.  These goals will act like benchmarks that will give you the necessary push and motivation to keep going.  SMALL STEPS and SMALL REWARDS will add up to great results.  Even if the results are too small to be visible right now, your results will be visible over time.  Trust me❗❗❗

Is CONFIDENCE a HARD SELL ?

Is CONFIDENCE a HARD SELL ?

Is CONFIDENCE a HARD SELL ? Yesireee me thinks.  Over the years, I've met people up close enough to have a first-hand assessment of them.  Surprisingly, most of them are gifted, skilled, talented and just capable of etching one's name within his/her lifetime.  But to date, I would say less than ten percent of them really made it in life.

So what gives ?  Blame it on our preoccupation with what others think of us.  If before every move, we look around to find out who's lurking and seemingly watching us.  Then our woes begin at that point. What can we do ?                                                    #1 REPROGRAM YOURSELF.  Believe MORE in yourself.          #2 SET A GOAL.  Then see how confidence skyrockets.            #3 GET FIT. Feel good & you'll have less 'downtime'.                #4 PRACTICE GRATITUDE. Your confidence level rises            #5 STAND UP STRAIGHT. Power Pose increases confidence     #6 GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. Self-jailing is a NO!  

 #7 EMBRACE SPONTANEITY. Don't limit our life on daily routine.  When we force ourselves to be spontaneous, we stretch ourselves.  We allow ourselves to be open to potential discomfort and the uncertainty of the unknown.  

Oh, it's fine to be looking at our shadows but make sure that your shadow includes that cape of superman and wonder woman. We need to build and nurture that aura coming from the cape to exude more confidence.  Think of that feeling of being above the rest, that of being atop the cream of the crop ?  Whereas without the cape, you may perceive yourself as less capable of everyone else and just unable to take the next step forward.

Semantics also mean a lot.  If 'i WISH' is your fav, trust me, you'll go as far as the wishing well, wishing and no more than that.  But once you translate that to 'I WILL', you bet, you will bear witness to an uptick in your confidence.  If only to accentuate the power of words, they really matter because while WISH makes you DREAM, WILL makes you ACT.  And BTW, CONFIDENCE-building does not need any $$$ to be dipped from your pocket.  You just gotta dip from deep within you but you gotta embrace with open arms for you to boost your CONFIDENCE.  If you resist boosting your confidence, WHAT TO DO ?

Now, for the math equation, our COFIDENCE FORMULA=[KNOW-HOW + REPETITIONS] x AWARENESS of IMPROVEMENT.  Note that your knowledge and skills are the basic ingredients to build up confidence but to improve it, you got to go to REPETITIONS over and over again.  All these are NON-NEGOTIABLES so that CONFIDENCE does not become a HARD-SELL✅✅✅

Don't Use a Lot Where a Little Will Do

Don't Use a Lot Where a Little Will Do

Oh I love this one-liner from Tiny Budhha:  Don't Use a Lot Where a Little Will Do.  Oh, does this matter a discussion?  Let's look around us, what's going on ?  A lot of time is spent mulling tons of hours through school academic projects.  And at work, what's the total turnaround/elapsed time to prepare a report ?  In business, how much effort was exerted to plan, plan and plan but when it's in full-blown operations, the owner is running his business in 'virtual' mode when in fact his presence is needed on site, up front.  And how about our relationships ?  How much time and effort [+ stress] are all spent to fix a strained relationship when in fact, all it would have taken will be for at least one of the two protagonists to just swallow up his pride and take a step to reach out in all humility.  Doesn't all these warrant us to really take stock of things and re-examine back to the drawing board ?
 

Guess what is the most precious resource we should be prudent and mindful ?  Yesir it's TIME.  Think about it and you don't have to look back a decade ago.  Just look back the past year we're all locked in this pandemic.  Let's ask ourselves, if the pandemic paralysis which started in March 2021 will restart all over again now, how will you spend the next eighteen months ? 

Oh I love this poster which says:  WASTE YOUR MONEY AND YOU HAVE ONLY WASTER MONEY.  WASTE YOUR TIME AND YOU HAVE LOST PART OF YOUR LIFE.  This is a mouthful even as it really hits the nail right on its head.  Whether it is in our relationships, in school, at work or in business, once you spend a lot more time WHERE A LITTLE WILL DO, there's just no way to recoup lost time.  Time spent is time gone and if such time was not spent judiciously, that chunk of time simply simply went down the drain, period.  Can you still recover ?  Yes you can attempt to recover but that chunk of time is gone.

Now, let me face the mirror and ask myself, how's my TIME MANAGEMENT ?  Surely it is never perfect because there were days in the past [like weekends] when you just wanted to rise up late after a whole week of work but if we focus on the weekdays, I can beat my chest then.  I am just time-focused from the time I set my alarm clock till I call it a day the next day.  I remember my boss at HSBC Singapore harping:  IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME, MAKE TIME.

Now here comes technology.  Do we realize why mail apps became that intelligent to tag those junk and spam mails ?  Plain and simple, it was meant for us NOT to waste our time on those junk and spam mails.  Again, it all boils down to TIME MANAGEMENT.  Moving forward, can we commit to ourselves that from this day onwards, you will utilize your time judiciously so that you DON'T USE A LOT WHERE A LITTLE WILL DO !  Can ❓❓❓

Try to Color Outside the Line

Try to Color Outside the Line

Ever thought to COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINE?  I guess majority of us won't even ponder to think about it.  I admit, I myself in the past, I was too technical and theoretical such that everything I did was confined within the boundaries, within the lines.  In the short-term, I didn't see anything wrong with me just COLORING WITHIN THE LINE.  i had the mindset of "why fix if it ain't broke". But again, everything was short-term.  But when I started hitting the wall, I came into this realization that I should TRY TO COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINE.  

But before figuring out HOW to color outside the line, we should challenge ourselves, WHY do we need to COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINE ?  

Question the STATUS QUO.  Imagine if everyone of us accepted things as they are?  There would be NO improvements or innovations then. And if we do view things as unchangeable, nothing will change for the better.  By thinking OUTSIDE THE BOX and questioning the STATUS QUO, this will allow you to KEEP GROWING and improving. 

Exactly, to COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINE is much akin to THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX. Indeed, being inside the box causes things to be so constrained, such that the only option left is to really get out of the box and if you're into plans and actions, that means THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX because that gives us the edge over everyone else because that highlights our role as a problem solver.  

Quite drastic measures that translates to THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX includes:

#1 Study another industry, another field. #2 Retrain/Retool where you'll be better. #3 Consider working backwards.  Just like turning things upside down, working backwards breaks our brain's normal conception of casuality.  This is the key to backwards planning where you start with a goal and think back through the steps needed to reach it until you get to where you are right now.  

Perhaps one of the most profound effects of thinking outside the box is that it will help us to stay adaptable.  Our mind won't be cloned off to new ideas or solutions and therefore, that should position us in a much better spot to navigate through the ever changing landscape in our life.  If anyone else isn't sold to TRY TO COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINE or start THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX, do give yourself a china man's chance for you to turnaround.  It's NEVER LATE to correct ourselves❗❗❗

Don't Lose That COMPASS in Life

Don't Lose That COMPASS in Life

Throughout these times, we kept harping that we should have a direction in life and that's a given.  What we missed out highlighting is that in going through our journey, there is one thing that is indispensable and that is the COMPASS.  Without it, we would likely get waylaid or lost along the way.  Why ?  There are multifarious reasons why our COMPASS becomes that handy.  Without sounding as a threat, a life with no COMPASS will be a life in peril and if I don't have to mince words, your life is doomed to fail with no COMPASS in life.

This poster may be one of the most exposed but I'd still piggy-back on this as this says it all.  It gives us the simplest equation, i.e. LIFE with COMPASS equates to DIRECTION whereas no COMPASS means NO DIRECTION. As a first-person account, I have witnessed lives with no direction at all.  Some were even well-bred, coming from decent middle-class families but as they [wrongly] thought that they didn't need any compass, their life just went berserk, nowhere to go.

Too bad, one too many things are intertwined in our life.  Your single misstep can cause you to get waylaid next.  Once you fumble once, you can stumble next.  Question is, why is it sometimes lightning seems to strike us non-stop?  Studies did show that a life that is direction-less is the most common culprit that causes a spate of failures and fallouts in life.  And this is where the COMPASS of our life kicks in again.

Question is, when can we discern that we seem not to have a COMPASS in life ?  These symptoms will lead us to that diagnosis:  LOST? CONFUSED? PERPLEXED?  DISORIENTED? Which symptoms are all self-explanatory.  Now, how can we get back on track ?  A few basic ground rules.  

#1-Grab a pen & paper. Write where you want to go

#2-Paint a scenario where money is not an object. So, envision yourself of the things you wanna do.

#3-Relook at those visualizations and revalidate it.

Unlocking the key for us is not a rocket science.  DISCOVER what energized you before.  DETECT what drained you.  Think 'SUPER SMALL'.  Good to think BIG but when you seem lost, move the goal post back to square one, at worst.  Look around.  You need a SUPPORT STRUCTURE, be it from your immediate family or trusted friends.  Just DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF ❗❗❗ 

Be That STRAW That Stirs The Drink

Be That STRAW That Stirs The Drink

Care to be that STRAW THAT STIRS THE DRINK ?  Humbly, I would be one of the first to volunteer given that chance [and I'll call it an OPPORTUNITY] to be a STRAW.  A STRAW may seem that typical and indeed that ordinary, not until you dissect its functional use.  And to stretch it further, more than just stirring, have we remembered those moments when we had our drinks but a STRAW was missing.  Didn't we feel that helpless and seemingly in a state of stupor ?  In life, replicating a STRAW will lead us farther than we can go, that is if we will be committed to be that STRAW.
 

To quote Reggie Jackson: "I'M THE STRAW THAT STIRS THE DRINK".  So, you might wonder what is there about the STRAW that inclines some of us [and that includes me] to be akin to that STRAW THAT STIRS THE DRINK ?  Zoom-in to our respective lives, how often where we just a part of a crowd and incognito at that ?  Aren't those missed opportunities where we could stand out ?

Why do we need to stand out in a crowd ?  This question must be bugging you.  C'mon, let's look at these scenarios.  In a full-packed class room of 50 students, are you fine to be one of them ?  How can the professor recognize and remember you [on a positive note] ?  At work, if you're in a corporate organization of hundreds or thousands of employees, is it fine if only your team lead and immediate manager knows and recognizes you?  If you're running a business located in a shopping mall, don't you want to stand out in the crowd ?

To further accentuate that STRAW THAT STIRS THE DRINK, let me post this idiom 'CREAM of the CROP'.  Whether in school, at work or in business, being at the CREAM of the CROP should not be a hard sell.  And it is by being that STRAW THAT STIRS THE DRINK, it's that exactly that will pave the way for you to be part of the CREAM of the CROP.

And tying all these to ambition, why do we need this ?  We got to accept the fact that no one can succeed without a healthy dose of ambition.  And for those who wish to be more, know more, do more, give more or have more, it is imperative to have a purpose and a powerful internal drive to lead you to dream bigger.  Who won't be a STRAW THAT STIRS THE DRINK if that will lead to the ambitions you set in life ✅✅✅

When Things Start to CRACK

When Things Start to CRACK

When Things Start to CRACK, what follows next is a no-brainer.  Energy NOSEDIVES.  Motivation DECLINES.  Momentum SLOWS DOWN.  Optics get DISTORTED. Reflexes get RESTRAINED. Everything else SHRINK.  Indeed, this is how impactful CRACKS can trigger in our life.  At times, the world stands still just because CRACKS have surfaced.

The bigger challenge with CRACKS is that sometimes, they are NOT visible to the naked eye, just like CRACKED bones.  Not until symptoms of those CRACKS start to surface will those suspicions of CRACKS will start to arise.  In life, most the CRACKS that happen are more akin to CRACKED bones rather than CRACKED phone displays. So, that explains why often, we end up detecting CRACKS in our life, very late in the game.

Question is, how do we handle CRACKS in our life ?
CRACKS in school ?  Work it out, study double-time.

CRACKS at work ? Address improvement areas, period

CRACKS in relationships ?  Fix it, reach out in goodwill

CRACKS in businesses ?  Right the Wrongs, period.  

In brief, CRACKS are not comparable to the worst crisis in life wherein your whole world is crumbling down into pieces BUT here's the catch.  To detect CRACKS means that's NOT the time to be unconcerned, self-assured or worst, feel conceited.  CRACKS mean you gotta make a move now, fast and quick.  Do you want to procrastinate ?  Yes you can BUT AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Just like walls.  Walls may not be the foundations but can we imagine what happens next once those will crumble down ?  This is just akin to tipping the dominoes.  Tip one and the rest will follow.  In life, if we just SWEEP UNDER THE RUGS those CRACKS, the consequences are as follows:

#1 You're delaying to know that you got a problem

#2 You're depriving yourself the chance to fix now

#3 You're in denial mode that there's a CRACK to fix

#4 You're robbing yourself a chance to be proactive

To quote American writer Benjamin Franklin, let us not PUT OFF UNTIL TOMORROW WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY.  Why ?  When things are BAD, it can only go from WORSE to WORST.  When you're down deep, you can only go deeper.  A relationship that is strained today can lead to a breakup come next day.  A business teetering in the red because operating costs constantly exceed revenues will mean that anytime soon, that business will fold up when it does not become sustainable anymore.  Folks, if and when you perceive or detect CRACKS anywhere in your life, go and fix it NOW please ❗❗❗

When You're Pressured, RELEASE THE SCREWS

When You're Pressured, RELEASE THE SCREWS

We have various nemesis in life but if there is a commonality amongst us, it is Mr. PRESSURE.  PRESSURE is an arrow directed to shoot us down and it comes because it is triggered by many factors, a sampling of which are our NEEDS, EXPECTATIONS, FAMILY, FINANCIALS, SOCIETY, just one too many.  With all the technologies on our hands, can we just BLOCK any of these pain points, adding them to our BLOCKED LIST ?  Too bad it doesn't work that way though. 

Before we start attempting to attack the very PRESSURES , we need to understand where and why are these PRESSURES coming into our way Tracing those PRESSURES from the triggers may help lead us back to figure out pre-emptive measures to avert for those pressures to recur again.  No point sulking and hosting our self-pity party because we will end up pushing our very own selves deep into that morass.

Once we succumb to PRESSURE, whether we are still in the academe or now at work or in our startup business, PRESSURES will easily push us to give up.  Isn't that mind boggling?  Once you give up on something where you did invest time, effort and even monies, all those will go down the drain and nothing comes back to you in return.  Worst is if we're talking about your family relationships.  Will you easily give up simply due to PRESSURES ?

A positive move is to figure out solutions to those problems before you succumb to those PRESSURES. But in practical terms, let me share how I did it because i've BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.  First, I pulled the brakes and did ground to a halt.  Why ?  I had to take a REALITY CHECK, a PULSE CHECK.  Where was I ?  Was that a one-off thing ?  Or have I been going down south and still trending ?

Once you have reassessed everything, this is the moment of truth.  Two words can bring up far enough to survive the next upcoming laps.  THINK POSITIVE.  And I can attest that without those two words, I could be in a place where I'll be off-grid.  To THINK POSITIVE, RELEASE THE SCREWS !  How ?  Unleash them.  And translate them into ACTION WORDS that leads you to CONCRETE ACTION no less.  Trust me, this will bring you far enough✅✅✅
 

Bet BIG, Win BIG !

Bet BIG, Win BIG !

Bet BIG, Win BIG !  Ooops, before I get bashed by those crusading on a high moral ground, this piece is not about to encourage everyone to rush over to the casinos, NO Sir.  Instead, we'd like to paint an analogy of this statement 'Bet BIG, Win BIG' which often is being tagged to casinos and gambling.  But the reality, it is much more than that because our life is really like being inside the casino.

Life in itself is like a casino.  We come into it and start playing various games in the casino.  We loose some and win some.  When we loose, we end up unhappy but when we win, lo and behold, you would relish every moment of that win.  In a real casino, we may have limited money to play and hence are forced to quit when we run out of our resources.  However, in life's casino, our 'Creator' gives us UNLIMITED credit for wagering at the games.  So, most of us get addicted and go on playing without even wanting to quit.  And if there is a commonality between being in a casino and real life casino, it's that we always want to WIN BIG.  The difference is in our approach to WIN BIG.

It's understandable, though, that we can't always play with a full deck, even in real life because we're constrained with resources.  But the stark reality is that, as it is in the casino, in real life, when we bet is mager and within our means, the statistical probability is that even if you will win, you will win small.  Chances to WIN BIG has a very low probability.

At the end of the day, it's your choice, your decision whether you want to Bet SMALL that goes along with that quite a long shot for you to WIN BIG.  Whereas, if you want to increase your chances to WIN BIG, why not Bet BIG ?  Twenty years ago, I took that huge leap when I decided to Bet BIG. At that time, there were no budget airlines so I bought a return ticket SOLELY for a scheduled job interview in a Southeast Asian Country.

By taking that huge risk of spending US$500 for a return ticket with no guarantee that I'll get the nod for that job I applied for, a week after I flew back home, the HR manager emailed me that they were commencing to process my work visa.  And when I flew back to start work, my new employer was generous enough to extend me a US$5,000 relocation allowance. And not to mention the huge leap I was taking in my career, that will lead me to a hundred-fold increase of opportunities. It was then that I realized that I did Bet BIG and I did Win BIG.  Any takers ❓❓❓

Breaking Barriers

Breaking Barriers

Failures, what leads us to failures ?  Barriers.  Hurdles,  Obstructions.  Roadblocks.  Call it by any name, they are all barriers.  So, BARRIERS are the very culprits that cause us to hit a snag until we stumble, until we fail.  This does explain why most of us really detest barriers.  Where we can avoid it, we will do what it takes.  We would rather ditch it, thinking [wrongly] that that's the best way out of it.

Back in school, when we stereo-type a professor as a 'terror', we will likely avoid that professor.  At work, where we had a choice of reports to work on, we will pick up the least difficult ones.  In business, we will strategize for the easiest way out to boost our revenues.  In our relationships where we have our shortfalls and lapses, rather than make amends to repair things that get strained, the easiest way out is we will get a token gift, hoping that fixes the strain.

But rather than avoiding those barriers, won't we be better off if we were focused towards BREAKING BARRIERS instead of avoiding it ?  There's a quid pro quo though.  BREAKING BARRIERS will need a ton of effort + sacrifice and not to mention that persistent and unrelenting focus to really go for broke in BREAKING BARRIERS.

The question we're staring now is HOW do we end up BREAKING BARRIERS ?

• REMOVE your fear of failure.
• DO what you are afraid to do.
• Turn your doubt into MOTIVATION.
• PULSE CHECK as to where are you.
• Detach EMOTIONS in what you do.
• ASSESS the barrier holistically.
• NEVER stop.  NEVER give up.
• REWARD yourself when you succeed. 

The biggest question is how can you push yourself to be BREAKING BARRIERS ? Simple.  Think of the goals you have set to achieve.  Have your goals embedded.  And everyday, remind yourself that you're starting off the day to move inches towards your goal and you won't stop BREAKING BARRIERS ✅✅✅