Is Your 'PADDLE HAND' Always Ready ?

Is Your 'PADDLE HAND' Always Ready ?

We may not be either a rower or a table-tennis [ping pong] player but nevertheless, who says our 'PADDLE HAND' shouldn't be ready most of the time anyways ?  In fact and in truth, the 'PADDLE HAND' is our #1 basic tool more than the sum of all parts [when referring to our competencies and skills] because the 'PADDLE HAND'  either initiates or responses to events that happen 'on the fly.'

Hmmm, we won't dabble into physics here but briefly, to have your 'PADDLE HAND' ready, two key force and pressure matters most and to top it all, it's the timeliness of your 'PADDLE HAND' to either initiate or react.  And this is very analogous in life as well, our 'PADDLE HAND' must be 24x7-ready.

Worst thing is, if and when we get caught off-guard because in 98% of such cases, you will end up at least a step behind, with your timing-off and your reflexes not leveraged to be maximized simply because you seem to be in that reactive mode.  What this tells us is that where possible, let us NOT be in reactive mode.  When we react, our cognitive functions end up being impaired and stretched, all rolled into one.  This explains why 90% of our missteps in life are attributable to the fact that we were in 'reactive' mode.  So, this brings us back to our 'PADDLE HAND' because that is at the crux of how we handle things in life.

One realization we need to share is that life is never predictable.  Life can't be scripted at all.  Truth is, life runs 'on the fly and off the cuff'.  With one too many variables in the equation [of life], only one thing can be certain and that is, ensure the readiness of our 'PADDLE HAND' because anytime, a risk could be lurking behind your back.

In the most simple terms, in our life, STAYING READY is all what it takes.  Have we seen the firemen from the Fire Department.  99% of the time, they remain idle and literally doing nothing until a fire incident gets reported and when that phone rings at the Fire Department, you would see the firemen moving in sequential and methodical steps till they start the fire truck engines with the emergency horns with blazing lights.  Did we ever catch firemen as not ready ?  Or their fire trucks unable to go with 5 minutes ?  WHEN YOU STAY READY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET READY.✅✅✅

Do You 'FOLLOW THE CROWD' ?

Do You 'FOLLOW THE CROWD' ?

Please DON'T get me wrong.  Being with the crowd should be fine as long as you are in that crowd at the right time for the right reasons. To 'FOLLOW THE CROWD' should NOT be taken literally please.  Obviously, if you're in a place of worship, in an assembly at work or in school or in public contingencies where government authorities will dictate where and when people should go to mitigate risks that pose imminent danger to the population.  But that's about it, no more than that.

Back into our lives, should we always 'FOLLOW THE CROWD' ? Nope.  We only 'FOLLOW THE CROWD' if and when it is warranted.  NOT as a preference.  NOT for convenience.  NOT to 'JOIN THE BANDWAGON'.  NOT simply to be part of the mainstream.  NOT because the majority rules.  WHAT IF it's a 'MOB RULE' ?

Good question.  What makes us "FOLLOW THE CROWD' ?  Two words that will hit our nerves.  To be LIKED and ACCEPTED.  That human desire to fit in is just so strong that we sometimes conform to a group consensus even when sometimes it goes against our own judgment.  Ironically, privately, we are likely to follow our minds.

Not to scare but can we figure it out if we blindly 'FOLLOW THE CROWD' that goes straight to that deep ravines and cliffs ?  We may not admit it that we're blindly following a crowd but the problem is, once you're part of that crowd, you are so 'squeezed within' leaving you no room to have that logical and pragmatic appreciation of things.  In short, you end up 'FOLLOWING THE CROWD' blindly.

Now let's play the devil's advocate here.  It's true taking the road less travelled will likely seem daunting as likely, you'll be by yourself and a mile-long distance could seem to be eternity.  But that's the price we have to pay for taking that road less travelled, for being more on our own than being part of a crowd.  But do we agree that with a crowd, the farthest you can go is the distance that can go ?  Whereas, you can reach as far as you want to.

Now you might challenge me, to convince you not to 'FOLLOW THE CROWD' ?  Let me rattle off reasons.  PEER PRESSURE can cause your wrong decisions.  Now let's look at the population.  The best and the brightest belong to the minority.  So if we 'FOLLOW THE CROWD', likely we're with the 'AVERAGE ones'.  Each one us, we have our unique needs.  So, why should we 'FOLLOW THE CROWD' ?  When we're with groups, we tend to stick to our COMFORT ZONES.  So, how can we expand our horizons ?  With groups, we become more vulnerable to negative thinking, to think that groups are prone to 'groupthink' which, often, is not right.  Folks, let's take that path what is best for us, period.❗❗❗

DECISION TREES in Life

 'DECISION TREES' in Life

There is one thing in our life, overlooked most of the time if not ignored outright.  And that's a 'DECISION TREE'.  Because most decisions in our life needs to be arrived at after a thought process that leads to an INFORMED DECISION.  Impulsive decisions.  On-the-fly decisions.  Off-the-cuff decisions.  Decisions happening wayward like these are likely to result in off-track decisions because the likelihood is that those decision were not arrived via the most basic thought process.

Developing that 'DECISION TREE' discipline in life does not need you to go through academic courses.  The basic premise we all need to be aligned is that regardless of your standing in society and regardless of the nature of your work and even if you're into your own business, there is one inevitability and that in life, you are bound to make decisions that could be complex or it could be as trivial as whether you need to bring an umbrella or not.  And BTW, in life, there is NO perfect decision.  There will always be PROs and CONs, an UPSIDE and a DOWNSIDE.

When you start settling down, RENTING or BUYING will be one of the decisions you need to grapple with and by then, the ;DECISION TREE' becomes a bit more complex as there will be permutations and iterations in the midst of your thought process.  But you might chalenge me, why am I pushing for the 'DECISION TREE' approach ?  Simple.  It should be simple and easy to understand.  The inputs to the 'DECISION TREE' are 'GIVENS' which you have at hand and when various scenarios are laid out, it leads you to uncork several possible outcomes of a decision.  It has downsides too.  It could become complex.  And the outcomes may be based on your expectations.  And when you plot it in a diagram, it may narrow your focus to critical decisions.

In retrospect, let's look back, how many decisions have you made not going through the 'DECISION TREE'.  Surely, there's a lot and based on probabilities, you always have a 50% chance to end up with the right or wrong decision.  But the bigger question, are you willing to live a life where you always face 50% probability ? Why not improve your chances ?

Now, let's take a step back and figure out what leads us to WRONG DECISIONS ?  Most common is 'DECISION FATIGUE'.  Even the most energetic people DON'T have that endless mental energy.  OR, there could be one too many distractions to you.  OR you DON'T have the sufficient inputs to your 'DECISION TREE'.  OR you're into multi-tasking.  OR you're getting emotional.  OR are you into 'ANALYSIS PARALYSIS' ?  Folks, make sure you check all boxes.✅✅✅

Are You in a 'FOGGY STATE' ?

 Are You in a 'FOGGY STATE' ?

Are you in a 'FOGGY STATE' ?  Yes, I've been in that 'FOGGY STATE' several times in the past.  And everywhere of us does go into that ordeal, that state wherein your ability to think coherently seems to get impaired, that state when you feel either confused or you're just struggling to translate your thoughts into words and action. In the recent years, we witnessed the fatal crashes of that helicopter flying the late Kobe Bryant and that Saratoga Piper plane of the late JFK Jr.

Good news though.  BRAIN FOG is not a medical condition.  It's a result of various conditions, amongst others, e.g. if you're going through medications, if you have that chronic fatigue in you, if you're into depression, if you're sleeping hours is not consistently sufficient [i.e. go for at least 7-9 hrs of sleep] and there are medical conditions that 

could trigger BRAIN FOG, e.g. multiple sclerosis [p.s. half the people with MS have issues with memory and attention] and chemotherapy [as cancer treatment uses strong drug and by itself, cancer can cause BRAIN FOG if the cancer has affected the brain.   Why are we sharing these common causes of BRAIN FOG ?  Well, it just makes sense what triggers it so we can find a workaround because that needs to be fixed.

In real-life terms, when we're in a 'FOGGY STATE', it could be tell-tale signs that we have an adversity at hand or something imminent is bound to happen.  What do we do then ?  First and foremost, we gotta recognize that we are in that 'FOGGY STATE'.  And from thereon, ask ourselves what could be triggering it because we got to correct that and swing for a turnaround.

Everything could be crystal clear but if you're in that 'FOGGY STATE', you;ll be in a suspended state where things may not be stalled but when something happens, it will be detrimental to you.  Bottom-line, let's extricate ourselves out of this cauldron and aim for a lucid state where we'll be cogent, coherent and comprehensible.  Please do that QUICK FIX asap today, not tomorrow.❗❗❗

Half-baked or Half-cooked ?

 Half-baked or Half-cooked ?

 Half-baked or half-cooked ? Only in our food and baking preferences, PLEASE.  Not in our life though.  Life is fairly simple and straightforward.  It's either here or there.  Either you make it or NOT.  Either you SUCCEED or FAIL.  Either you achieve something or NOT.  Either you get the nod of your bosses or stakeholders or NOT.  Either you win the deal or NOT.  Even in professional boxing, while there are drawn fights, that doesn't settle the score.  Instead, they go for a return bout or even end up with a trilogy.    

For our TO DO List, the same thing runs true.  And this is where our favorite friend from 'that other side of the fence' named PROCRASTINATION creeps back to us.  That friend/advisor will keep whispering gently through your ears to "TAKE IT EASY" or 'NO NEED TO RUSH" or just "TAKE YOUR TIME".  That's until things become UNEASY.  Until things become RUSHED  Until TIME is TAKEN AWAY from you.  At times, we would even use the weather as a 'VALID EXCUSE' like 'OH, I'LL DO THIS TOMORROW BECAUSE IT'S RAINING NOW'... till tomorrow comes and the rains become heavier because the weather disturbance has now been confirmed as a typhoon, WHEW !

In truth, our life is fairly switch, much akin to a switch.  Either you turn it OR or OFF.  There's no mid-switch.  Even the roads and highways are either northbound or southbound, eastbound or westbound.  That explains why both directions are separated by either concrete islands, barriers or for a two-way road, a middle-of-the-road marker.  That's all there is to it.  Guess WHO/WHAT is the most favorite excuse and alibi these days ?  Yesirrrreeeee, a lot of tasks get stalled or waylaid because of this pandemic, like 'I'LL DO THIS WHEN THIS PANDEMIC IS OVER".  Helllllll no !  What if this takes years ???

In school or at work or even in our relationships, it's either you are PASSED or FAILED in your academic grades.  It's either you are POSITIVELY or NEGATIVELY recognized by your bosses.  In your relationships, it's either HEALTHY or NOT.  BTW, if the health of your relationship now is somewhere 50 now, you gotta wake up, do something drastic to turn around things.  Else, very shortly, that 50 will become a BIG FAT ZERO. So folks, this is all that matters.  At the end of the day, you're either a WINNER or a LOSER and a lot of it hinges on YOU.

So, what and where is our 'ace card'?  It is spelled A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E no less.  But before we dissect everything about ATTITUDE, let's agree that ATTITUDE FORMATION is so critical as it refers to a set of emotions, beliefs and behaviors which could be often the result of our experiences or even our upbringing.  In the end, ATTITUDE has a such powerful influence over our BEHAVIOR.  But again, while ATTITUDEs are enduring, they can change and evolve.  So, let's not go for HALF-BAKEDs or HALF-COOKs 📌📌📌

Who Are You With ?

Who Are You With ?

More than the celebrity status of Oprah Winfrey, I'd like to quote here, "SURROUND YOURSELF WITH ONLY PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO LIFT YOU HIGHER".  Folks, this is no sales pitch but instead, this is a 'WAKEUP CALL' to everyone of us [including myself] to never stop associating ourselves with people who are, in the shortest words possible, MUCH BETTER THAN US.

Let me qualify though.  You just don't shoot for the moon and contact Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg because frankly, they are in a much different league.  And in the U.S. academe, they might say they come from the Ivy League whereas you might trace your roots to a Division III or IV school.  Instead, if you're aiming to explore for a decent overseas job, associate yourself with someone else's with a similar goal.  If you're into Fintech, find someone into Fintech.  If you're more into something on literary front, there should be someone with similar aspirations.

One thing for sure, DON'T and DON'T keep yourself in a cocoon.  GET OUT OF YOUR SHELL.  Are you shying away from positive interactions ?  If so, then you likely have a serious problem at hand because you can't be on your own, regardless of your competencies now.  I have seen and met talented people but who, years later, I learnt that their good run in life got stalled or tha run went wayward.  Why? It's because a lot of the talented folks around commit the most serious mistake in life.  That of believing so much in themselves to the point that they thought they can be on their own and associating with anyone else better than him is a no-no because of his ego.

Let's share here some words of wisdom from Billionaire American Warren Buffet who strongly espouses that we associate with people WHO ARE MUCH BETTER IN SKILLS and WILL TAKE YOU FAR in LIFE.  His tidbits of wisdom:

• SET ASIDE YOUR EGO.
• CONTACT PEOPLE YOU ADMIRE.
• STAY OPEN FOR DIVERSE EXPERIENCES

Bluntly, if you're a smoker and you wanna stop it, NEVER be with smokers.  If you're into gambling and you want to get out of it, why associate yourself with casino-goers ?  If you tend to have that 'LAZY DOG' habit day-in day-out, why spend time with similar 'LAZY DOGS' ?  If you loathe unnecessary kibitzing because it leads to wasted and unproductive time, why will you continue to associate yourself with intruders, kibitzers, meddlers and those nosey folks?  It takes a strong-willed persona to really discipline himself and cracking the whip to remind myself that hey, I just wanna "SURROUND YOURSELF WITH ONLY PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO LIFT YOU HIGHER"✅

Do You Know Your 'CEILING' ?

Do You Know Your 'CEILING' ?

Oh yes, we all live underneath ceilings, especially the 'ceiling of our life'.  But the basic question is, are we all living, existing and working within the confines of the ceiling we now have at hand ?  It's common story to hear that someone gets stalled in life or someone's growth gets stunted, simply because of that ceiling, right ?  But the bigger question is, should we blame all these travails from the ceiling atop us ?  Really ?

This is our most common problem.  We seem to be so safety-conscious such that when we come across this 'GLASS CEILING' signage, we respect it so much even it means we will stoop down so that we don't get to hit the ceiling itself.  And that's our biggest problem.  When we define and co-exist with everything AS IS WHERE IS.  Who ends up as the loser ?  It's us no less because of our very misplaced notion that ceilings in life are there to limit our mobility and our growth.  No sirrrrs, that is a wrongly misplaced notion.  That explains why, for donkey years, many of us get stalled in life.

Why can't we redefine things.  Why don't we redirect our life's ceilings all the way up to the vast blue skies ?  Isn't that permissible ?  Doesn't that offer us enormous possibilities instead of remaining ensconced within the ceiling that extremely limits our mobility in life ?  By going beyond the roof, by redirecting our focus towards the vastness of the blue skies, isn't this a whole new ballgame ?

Yes sirrrrrs, if there is a 'game changer', it's breaking your own glass ceiling.  If you're financially strained, plot a financial recovery.  If your health is down, plan a health recovery plan.  If your work performance is near the gutter, turn around, wake up and prove to yourself that you can rebound from the abyss.  If your family relationship are in tatters, repair it.   Have a recovery plan.

One last point.  What could be stopping us from breaking our glass ceiling ?  Studies show that more than 80% refuse to take that extraordinary step of 'going beyond the roof' because of FEAR.  FEAR of failing.  FEAR of the odds.  FEAR of the pressures.  But hey, unless and until we overcome FEAR, FEAR will remain to be akin to that monkey who's always behind our back.  C'mon, let's aim for a breakthrough ❗❗❗

When Do We 'STEP UP TO THE PLATE'

When Do We 'STEP UP TO THE PLATE'

Not to blame us, most of us have this common mindset of being followers, passengers and bandwagon riders.  Few days back, I even egged my wife, asking her why can't she be in the driver's seat instead of me behind the steering wheel day-in day-out.  With all honesty, she retorted:  "IT's FUN TO BE A PASSENGER.  I JUST ENJOY THE RIDE, LOOKING AROUND, NOT WORRYING ABOUT THE TRAFFIC GRIDLOCK & WAYWARD DRIVERS".

And I did appreciate my wife's honest retort because that was a non-issue anyways.  But here's the BUT.  In life, we can't be just ONLOOKERS, PASSENGERS and BANDWAGON RIDERS.  You can be born with a silver spoon on your mouth but that just DOESN'T guarantee you of a successful run [in life].  From my early schooling [from the Parochial Grade School till High School], I'd admit that the majority of my classmates can trace their roots from the moneyed middle class [while my family was struggling as my mother was a typical lowly paid public school teacher.

Even if one were a scion of the Trumps and the Rockefellers, nothing and NADA will guarantee that the next generation will be as successful as their previous generations.  What does this all tell us ?  That we got to "STEP UP TO THE PLATE" because we gotta face the music, we gotta face the realities of life, we gotta roll up our sleeves and be hands-on.

From idlehearts.com, this hits the nail right on it's head: " YOU CAN'T HIT A HOMERUN UNLESS YOU STEP UP TO THE PLATE.  YOU CAN'T CATCH A FISH UNLESS YOU PUT YOUR LINE IN THE WATER.  YOU CAN'T REACH YOUR GOALS IF YOU DON'T TRY".

Through the years, I can bear witness to folks who were so COMFORTABLY CONTENTED with their laidback and passive lives.  Instead of going for the goal, he/she would want to hear from a close friend who's taking aim first.  Instead of applying for a job, he/she would wait for a close friend who will make the first attempt.  Instead of attempting to explore his chances to apply for an overseas work, he/she would want to see and hear first if another person making the attempt will succeed.  Nothing wrong to be a follower but it can't be forever.  We gotta STAND ON OUR OWN FEET.  We gotta WET OUR FEET.  We gotta kick our ass damn hard if we want to succeed in life.  Let's go and grind folks ❗❗❗

Are You a Whiff of 'FRESH AIR in a POLLUTED ENVIROMENT' ?

Are You a Whiff of 'FRESH AIR in a POLLUTED ENVIROMENT' ?

Let's face it.  The world we live now is not as it was fresh during the time of our early ancestors.  Literally and figuratively, the world we live in now is polluted no less but this piece is NOT about the environment.  This is all about how the world we live now where we are heavily wired and connected, such that information travels faster than it used to be.  Agence France Press, Reuters, Associated Press, they've become non-entities now.

Instead, social media has literally taken over our lives.  What's the commonality between that chef in the kitchen, that assistant in a church service, workers at work, medical personnel readying up things for a medical procedure/operation, a bus driver, name it.  They are all glued to their smart devices no less.  Even this pic looks fiction but do we agree this was a very common sight prior to this pandemic ?

Even friends and couples, in the middle of all the food servings, each one is so engaged in their respective smart phones.  Pre-pandemic, do you recall in the workplace, while waiting for the remaining attendees in the meeting room, instead of reaching out to each other, at least for those informal 'HOW's YOUR FAMILY' etc, everyone is just so hostaged to their smart phones.  Are we not living in a polluted environment now ?

Do we agree that we should not be shackled by social media as we have become willing captives ?  But that is not our biggest problem these days.  Instead, it's the flurry of misinformation, wrong information, fake news and peddlers of anything untrue via the proliferation of social media trolls. By initiating inflammatory and offensive provocations, it incites emotions on a big chunk of information that comes out in the form of fake news.  Of course, governments have crafted laws to put order in a chaotic and polluted environment but can any Tom, Dick and Harry quickly avail of pro bono legal services to right the wrongs via the cyber laws ?

I thought it's a welcome relief because NON-SMOKING is barred in almost all public areas.  But how about our cyber smoking ?  Don't we see ourselves as part of today's polluted environment when we lit our cigar [which happens once we grab our smart phone and get hooked to it even if we got more important things at hand ?  Can we be the 'FRESH AIR' in this polluted place ?❗❗❗

Eyesight vs Mindsight

Eyesight vs Mindsight

EYESIGHT and MINDSIGHT, we're all gifted with it but do we agree that probably 80% of the time, we tend to be more dependent on eyesight.  We take things at face value.  We peg a value to every reality we seem to face.  Why ?  Likely because it is so damn effortless.  In fact, you don't need to lift a finger because we end up taking things visually and literally.  

    So, let's buckle down to some basics.  EYESIGHT is judging by what you see whereas MINDSIGHT is interpreting what you see.  Unfortunately, many of us [and I'm guilty of these countless times in the past] are vulnerable to take the EYESIGHT path because taking that path is least difficult and in truth, it's so seamlessly effortless.  MINDSIGHT ?  Who cares ?  The misconception is you will be unnecessarily cracking brain on it. 

Life could be as simple as two cups of brewed coffee and how you handle it could go either via the EYESIGHT or MINDSIGHT.  Outright we could judge the brewed coffee whereas when you became conscious of the aroma, you could be dissecting the kind of coffee beans in that cup of coffee.  And a lot of crossroads in our life are frequently thought of via either EYESIGHT or the MINDSIGHT.  And that's when problems pop-up.

What separates the men from the boys happen in real-life EYESIGHT vs MINDSIGHT scenarios.  Let's g beyond the surface.  If a workmate or a loved one seems to have uttered words that seem offensive, take a step back and understand where he/she is coming from. Was he/she into a certain difficult situation ?  Was he/she going through frustrations despite all the efforts poured out to date ?  Before friction turns into a fire, you could likely 'nip things in the bud'.

As the Chinese Philosopher said, 'MASTERING OTHERS IS STRENGTH.  MASTERING YOURSELF IS TRUE POWER,'  This short and sharp lesson tells us that we should rather correct and improve ourselves rather than shift our focus for others to improve themselves. Obviously, improving oneself is more doable because you are in full control of things.

If you're in the service industry, true, customers can drive you crazy but hey, 'CUSTOMERS DRIVE' and it's for you to NAVIGATE.  Do what it takes to delight the customer📌📌📌