Fear Is NOT To Be Feared

Fear Is NOT To Be Feared

When FEAR lurks all over us, I doubt you could sleep soundly WHEN you can hear the thudding of FEAR exploding in your chest and WHEN you attempted to identify the singular cause of your FEAR, you'd feel it's NOT just one thing.  Instead, there seems to be so many things.  Like the world at large and the problems besetting it.  And when that lurking FEAR seems to impact either the health, safety OR welfare of anyone within your family, you'll start wondering if Fear Is NOT To Be Feared📗📙📘

We could sound poetic here but tell me if that icy FEAR is NOT to be likened to one crawling up your spine till it fills you up with abject horror?  Admittedly, I struggled with various FEARS in the past BUT one sunny day WHEN I woke up, I told myself that I just wanted my life to change in so many ways so I can rid myself of the FEARS I had then❎❎❎

Can we imagine having NO FEAR?  Yes dude, you can achieve that BUT if you get to your own realization and learn that WHATEVER is that FEAR inside you, it could very old, aging from way back, and that FEAR itself keeps simply playing on repeat.  At that point, I reached my endpoint WHEREIN instead of me dwelling with the hundreds of FEARs that scared me no end, I simply had to go to the very source of FEAR💦💦💦

As a personal admission, FEAR was once embedded within me, deep into my bones, even at an early age.  Probably, it was the offshoot of the financial challenges my family then faced.  BUT WHAT can I do then, I was just a school grader?  So, over time, that FEAR seemed to have locked in, within me like a confined animal lying in wait, because I DIDN'T receive HELP to release it from my body😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  WHAT really helped to extricate myself from that deep morass was WHEN I learned to support myself through feeling the emotion of FEAR.  To build a feeling to hold those feelings in my body.  To allow them, the sensations they create, in order to be fully present.  Do it dude, feel them and they have the chance to release because indeed, it's true that YES, FEAR IS NOT TO BE FEARED❗❗❗

Hey, Being AVERAGE Is EXTRAORDINARY!

Hey, Being AVERAGE Is EXTRAORDINARY!

In a big chunk of my life, I witnessed everyone [and that includes moi] in quest of SUCCESS and swatting away the possibility of being AVERAGE.  BUT I kept asking myself, WHY the hell being AVERAGE is such a sting that carries with it an unspoken stigma, that unshakeable burden of weight on your should which you want to push off as fast and as quick before you get tagged as AVERAGE?   Hey, Being AVERAGE Is EXTRAORDINARY!!!

I admit that for the longest time, I was constantly giving out my darn best to ensure I was GOOD ENOUGH but today, allow me to admit that those episodes in my life were exhausting, to say the least.  Imagine, day-in day-out, angling to be BETTER than AVERAGE?  So, this brings me back to a full circle and ask ourselves, WHY CAN'T we accept AVERAGE?  BUT before I get caught up with words, I am cautious NOT to say "WHY CAN'T I SETTLE FOR AVERAGE" because that in itself is telling❎❎❎

Before I get [WRONGLY] understood, let's face it, by the law of AVERAGES, most of us are AVERAGE.  And there is NOTHING wrong with AVERAGE, yet I'll admit that I kept expecting more from myself.  Now, allow me to admit.  Most of my friends are AVERAGE people living in AVERAGE houses with AVERAGE jobs.  BUT WHAT ISN'T AVERAGE in them are their hearts and souls which are off-the-charts EXTRAORDINARY✅✅✅

Even in the field of human resource where most global companies have embraced AVERAGE as part of the 'bell curving'.  Regrettably, a plurality of workers area of 'bell curving' tend to look at AVERAGE as that stigma to be shunned off.  Zillion times as a manager, I kept harping to my team members that to end up as AVERAGE in the 'bell curving' means he/she has done his job well enough, delivering the goods💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  In defense of being AVERAGE, till to date, a lot of people are afraid to accept mediocrity because they believe that if they accept being MEDIOCRE, then they'll NEVER achieve anything, NEVER improve and that their life WON'T matter anymore.  I really find that sort of thinking skewed and dangerous. WHAT we need to agree on is that in life, everything is a TRADE-OFF, some born with high aptitudes, some got physical skills, some are artistic, some are athletic.  So, we humans come from a wildly diverse group.  AVERAGE is EXTRAORDINARY!!!

Surprising Psychology Trivia

Surprising Psychology Trivia

I have always considered myself a novice in the field of Psychology BUT that has NOT stopped me from peeking into it, out of sheet curiosity.  And since I DON'T intend to develop my knowledge at the SME-level, allow me to share some of these Surprising Psychology Trivia because as much as it is at the trivia-level, these are FUN FACTs that as relevant as ever in our daily grinds [EVEN if I DON'T get the buy-in for some of these trivia]📗📙📘

• DO you know that turning down the car music makes sense because your mind CAN'T focus on two things same time
• DO you know that if you announce your goals to others, you're likely LESS to succeed.  Scary but studies proved this because you lose your motivation
• DO you know the type of music you listen affects the way you perceive the world

And this is a FUNNY FUN FACT, that people who easily blush are considered more trustworthy, generous, and virtuous compared to those WHO either DON'T.  Oh oh, suddenly I realized I hardly blush [BUT hey hey hey, because my complexion is only lighter than the typical Timor-Leste machete-armed native].  

And here's another Psychology FACT.  Me, you, us, we CAN'T multitask !!!!  And I am a firm believer of this FACT very much long time when even IBM and giant OEM began architecting the high-end mainframe machines to computing capacities they equated to MPP's [massive parallel processors] when in truth in fact, what they architected was 'MULTI-THREADING' which, simply put, it sequenced each of the processor tasks, speeding up the computing process but akin to our human capacities, as Psychology tells us, we CAN'T multitask!!!!

And this Psychologist FACT is kind of scary, that BEING ALONE FOR LONG PERIODS IS AS BAD AS SMOKING.  And psychology experts go farther by sharing the fact that lonely people are 50% MORE likely and MORE prone to die prematurely than those with healthy social connections.  It's because loneliness reduces immunity and therefore increases the risk of diseases.  It even increases inflammation of the body📌📌📌

Our takeaway:  Believe it OR not, our health is at the receiving end, whether we accept this as gospel truth OR not.  Take that inflammation risk our body might suffer which is even compared at the same level, if NOT worse, than the risks of smoking which would lead to heart disease and other chronic health diseases.  Mother of all fears, being lonely also leads to stress affecting us emotionally and mentally.  WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE, dude💥💥💥

Does LESS Mean MORE?

Does LESS Mean MORE?

Does LESS Mean MORE?  Absolutely.  Setting aside semantics, having LESS in life can indeed bring us MORE in terms of outcome and output.  Heard of this workplace scenario where a colleague suddenly goes on unplanned leave due to emergency circumstances?  Heard of the sole proprietor WHO had to roll up his sleeves because of the unexpected sudden surge of volumes of retail consumers?  Heard of the Red Cross organizations who, with meager funds, managed to 'spread its wings' to help finance typhoon victims???

From the running numbers of our bank balance, to the amount of followers we have on social media, it has become the norm to base our happiness around our egos, our monetary gains [WHO DOESN'T love $$$$$$], OR the attainment of titles and material things.  True, monies can present us with opportunities to be happy BUT sometimes our priorities are led astray by appropriated desires and distractions from our over-hyped-advertised reality❎❎❎

Hey hey hey, can we forget about wanting MORE because in real-life experiences [YES, I can attest to this], you end up getting LESS.  NBA player Caleb Martin is a very recent classic example of hoping for MORE but ending up with considerably LESS.  Miami Heat, his NBA ballclub then, tendered him a $65 Million offer.  Hoping for MORE, he turned it down.  Fast-forward, he ended up signing with Philadelphia 76ers for a $32 Million contract. Ouchhhhh.  Truth is, our current generation of 20-somethings is squandering our happiness. all in the name of consumerism WHEN in fact we should be expanding way beyond our own materialistic comforts😁😁😁

Instead, we need to STOP squandering our hard-earned monies and start redirecting it into bettering our own lives.  TRUE, we are always encouraged NOT to take risks [no thanks to the conservative environment we were reared by our forefathers and even parents].  BUT really, should we always strive for the SAFEST option available to us?  REALLY?  Something to ponder about these days❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  True, we would hear those cautionary tales of homelessness and despair even as we are guided towards a reliable and secure future [preached long time ago by the elders of our society].  BUT hey hey hey, do we agree that to find TRUE HAPPINESS, you have to travel way beyond your own comfort zone???

AI Is Here To Stay. Let's "EMBRACE" It!

AI Is Here To Stay.  Let's "EMBRACE" It!

Two nights ago, I was having a discussion thread with my US-based colleague and we had one question left unanswered and we both blurted, can we go to AI?  Seriously we did and voila, instantly I received AI's unequivocal 'outputs'.  WHAT does this tell us all?  YES, AI Is Here To Stay.  Let's "EMBRACE" It [with NO qualms OR reservations] BUT NOT without a caveat though💜💛💚

Before anything else, though, let's initiate a sort of mini-dissertation as to WHY we need to embrace AI and I will never run out of tons and tons of AI upsides but for brevity sake, even assuming one is skeptical OR, worse, cynical, I'll confront that skeptic OR cynic:  THERE IS NOTHING TO LOSE AND EVERYTHING TO GAIN IF WE [cautiously] RIDE on this AI revolution because it's trajectory continues to go up unabatedly💥💥💥

BUT again, here's tons of precautionary words, NOT because AI is a 'menace' [because it WON'T be one at all] BUT because AI is NOT that 'SUPERMAN' we need in life.  Instead, let's include AI in our equation in life as another one of the many variables whose outputs [and inputs to us] should be taken with a grain of salt😂😂😂

So, WHAT are the words of caution we can share with regard us embracing AI?  Here we go:  

• DON'T forget "GIGO" [Garbage In, Garbage Out] NOT because AI data is that bad but because it all boils down to 'algorithmic bias'. 
• WORD MATTER - HOW you craft words can churn out the kind of output [you may NOT need]
• MISINFORMATION is NOT far off to happen because AI-generated content can be ill-intentioned
• With limited regulatory measures, let's be WARY

Our takeaway:  NOT to dampen the optimism prevailing across Generation Alpha because AI opens us up to opportunities hitherto unknown to us all BUT I'd counsel that we take a measured approach.  DON'T go AI WHEN you're depressed, WHEN you're agonizing by yourself, WHEN you need emotional support, WHEN you're hungering for human inspiration and love because AI CAN'T offer it.  Much as AI is here to stay, YES dude, LET'S EMBRACE AI [in a measured approach]!!!

Do Relationships Affect Our Health?

Do Relationships Affect Our Health?

Do Relationships Affect Our Health?  YES dude, absolutely.  And while personal relationships have a significant impact in our life, we often DON'T think about the influence they have on our health.  Over and over again, studies have shown that people involved in POSITIVE relationships with family and friends tend to be happier and live longer than people WHO are isolated [for WHATEVER reasons and circumstances may explain it]📗📙📘

Be EXTRA EXTRA wary of one type of relationship though.  That's PARASOCIAL relationships which is defined as involving OR relating to a connection between a person and someone they DO NOT know personally, like a celebrity OR famous person or even a fictitious character in a book.  To keep things simple, it will make sense that we limit today's thread to real-life relationships [and excluding parasocial ones].  And as we look for ways to manage and improve our personal health, it's worth considering HOW our relationships affect our physical health and emotional well-being.  Certainly, there can be POSITIVE effects✅✅✅

If we surround ourselves with people WHO eat healthy and exercise, we're MORE likely to adopt the same behaviors.  Relationships can also result in NEGATIVE consequences and WHILE every situation is different, let's spend time to dive into common concerns that can be influenced by our relationships with our family and even in our social life.  

DEPRESSION - While this condition has many causes, unstable relationships can contribute to DEPRESSION.  Frequent NEGATIVE interactions can even cause mood swings and emotional distress that over time, may likely affect our physical health💦💦💦

ALCOHOL and DRUG USE - Again, it's more likely that people will engage in unhealthy behaviors such as heavy drinking OR drug use WHEN they spend time with others WHO do the same.  A concrete but not-so-overnight fix for this dilemma is to make POSITIVE changes, like identifying and acknowledging WHEN a relationship is NEGATIVELY impacting one's health and well-being.  Relationships are an essential part of life, so it's really that important to establish and nurture those relationships that provide the greatest joy and POSITIVE impact to your life.  And HOW do we handle relationships that create more NEGATIVITY?  Take a serious, hard look and be focused to fix it pronto!!!

Our takeaway:  Before we get mixed up and I end up being misunderstood, WHAT is more prevalent these days is WHEN we nourish our body and mind BUT neglect our relationships because at the end of the day, our overall health will likely be compromised.  In contrast, prioritizing your 'CONNECTIONS', that is in addition to habits that support your physical and mental health, experts assure us with that embedded conviction that very likely, we have much better chances to live healthier, longer and happier, all rolled into one.  So, DO RELATIONSHIPS AFFECT OUR HEALTH?  Absolutely, dude❗❗❗

Are You Feeling LEFT BEHIND?

Are You Feeling LEFT BEHIND?

Are You Feeling LEFT BEHIND?  Half of the times, we're right.  Half of those times, we're NOT right.  WHY and WHY?  True, we would feel LEFT BEHIND when we keep failing, falling flat on our face while everyone else in the rat race is up up and away. Like WHEN you do an apples-to-apples thing, you would then realize that you're LEFT BEHIND.  BUT many times, we're damn wrong because sometimes, the comparisons are akin to apples versus lemons, oranges vs bananas.  And very obviously, there should be NO comparisons because the TALE of the TAPE won't show up numbers that are aligned.  And that is the worst thing to happen in our lives, once we start comparing ourselves to another person when both of you did NOT kickstart OR takeoff exactly on equal footing, on similar OR circumstances📗📙📘

Let's lay down concrete examples here.   From infancy, some were born with a silver spoon in our mouth while many [like moi] were born from peasant-level families.  Some scions of the 'upper tier' from many countries [including from the Third World] would sometimes cross paths and up there in any of the Ivy League universities in the U.S. or at either Cambridge or Oxford in the U.K.  Very obviously, someone graduating from either of these top tier universities will have a significant head start WHEN compared to someone graduating from the more common tertiary schools that are tiered way below the top tier ones from a 'pecking order' perspective.  And YES, if you're an Ivy League graduate, it's NOT far-fetched that one will have much bigger opportunities of getting a plum job offer from either Silicon Valley OR even from any of the blue-chip New York financial companies along Wall Street😄😄😄

True, it is NEVER pleasant to lag behind others that we consider similar.  The conventional wisdom says to STOP competing with others.  Instead, compete ONLY WITH YOURSELF. BUT again, that's easier said than done.  And with the rise of social media, it's hard to avoid evidence of your colleagues' accomplishments if you want to stay connected.  And true, that evidence can have its benefits.  And it can inspire us all💦💦💦

The biggest question to us now is HOW can we harness the positive benefits of competition WITHOUT suffering from that regrettable insecurity it may lead to?  Experts counsel us to reflect as to what triggers SELF-COMPARISONs.  The stress of feeling behind your peers can emerge in many forms💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Those triggers that may happen to any of us could be something transient, such as hearing your boss compliment another colleague, OR it might be something constant such as watching your colleagues leave the 9 to 5 cycle to build businesses of their own.  It will help to ask yourself more incisive questions like, DOES your boss's support of others make you feel inferior?  Do specific friends' accomplishments bring you down?  Do you find yourself regularly scrolling through LInkedIn, Facebook, OR Instagram, inevitably feeling a higher level of insecurity?  If so, you're NOT alone BUT off hand, it is social media which exacerbates our inherent NEGATIVITY BIAS where we put more weight on NEGATIVE experiences than positive ones.  Dude, let's PUT BEHIND that feeling of LEFT BEHIND❎❎❎

2025: Time To Re-think, Reassess and [MAYBE] Reset

2025: Time To Re-think, Reassess and [MAYBE] Reset

YES YES YES, let's bid adieu to 2024 and welcome 2025 [with open arms at that\.  YES YES, it's our Time To Re-think, Reassess and [MAYBE] Reset.  Like it OR not, when the calendar flips over, we really got NO other choice but to align with that flipping.  WHICH means looking back to critically assess HOW did we handle our life in 2024.  And if we caused any snag or snafu, time to benefit from those debacles for us to move forward with 2025🎉🎈🎢

I may sound like an old, broken [vinyl] record BUT 2025 offers us a huge window for many things BUT for brevity, it behooves that we RE-think things out, RE-assess HOW did we handle things last year and depending on your current state NOW, think it over if things are going well, enough for you to keep that momentum OR is it worth considering to push the RESET button if only to start off with a cleaner slate in 2025???

Oh, I like this very simple pristine blue horizon because it makes me realize that we should NOT settle for just one flash in the sky [OR in the pan] but ISN'T it worth it that we picture out a horizon with multiple flashes out there.  WHY?  Because we're NOT born to just trigger one single solitary FLASH IN THE PAN.  Because we have a deep reservoir of capabilities that positions us to trigger more FLASHES in life, way beyond that old, hackneyed FLASH IN THE PAN mindset😔😔😔

YES dude, it's not too steep for us to reconsider all these:

• REVIEW our goals.  You may now be basking with all the successes you have achieved BUT that DOESN'T mean that you're exempted to set your goals for 2025
• IN CASE you haven't set your goals, just DO IT now
• START AFRESH.  As they say, a cluttered place is reflective of a cluttered mind.  BUT it's more than that
• RECOMMIT.  YES you need to reaffirm [to yourself] to achieve the goals you'll set for 2025, leaving NO single stone unturned thereon
• YES, reinforce that work-life balance.  You deserve it
• YES, strive to continue improving your own well-being 

Our takeaway:  NOT to crack the whip but let us NOT belittle the significance when the year flips from 2024 to 2025 because that window flips open to multifarious opportunities FOR OUR PICKING.  Trust me, IF you refuse to pick up the challenge and IF you think it's business-as-usual [BAU], you're completely out-of-sync with the cycles in our life.  BTW, this is the time for you to beat your chest and blow your horn for your successes and achievements in 2024.  After all the hullabaloo, you deserve all those as catalysts WHEN you position yourself for the next frenetic race for this year of the [wood] snake.  HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone❗❗❗

SMALL Steps Can Lead To BIG Outcomes

SMALL Steps Can Lead To BIG Outcomes

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! SMALL Steps Can Lead To BIG Outcomes. WHO can argue with that?  These days, ask around, WHO does NOT enable the ALARM before hitting the sack?  Rarely surely.  BUT why?  Is there nothing wrong if we remain hostage to that damn ALARM clock buzzing and ringing [to whatever chimes you chose] WHEN you're still snoring?  BUT do you know by NOT relying on that ALARM clock, you will become more disciplined to get the sufficient hours of sleep you need in life???

Indeed, changing our lives is hard and scary, so WHAT happens next.  We simply stop.  We forget about it.  We redirect our attention to any other thing EXCEPT changing.  We just DON'T even retry it again, ever.  Our ideas about HOW it should be can block us even before we begin.  We go big.  OR unspecific.  We DON'T even know how to achieve it.  And after a few bumps on the road, we simply shrug off our shoulders and give up.  Really?  That fast to give up???

C'mon dude, can we make things SIMPLE, think SIMPLE, aim SIMPLE?  So WHAT if that's the way every progress works?  With the car that WON'T start, with a scary road to the unknown, and a lot of UPs and DOWNs that make you feel sorry you set off?  BUT hey, I firmly believe that we can STILL do a lot to make this travel, this journey in life more comfortable.  We can even focus on the good and even the small

The mother of all ironies is many us see the BIG-sized stuff, think of the BIG ideas, imagine BIG but end up stalled.  BUT did you ever think that putting a smile on your face the moment you wake up will trick your brain into thinking, LIKE, I feel quite good today.  YES, it's NOT easier said than done.  Do it, it works.  OR sometimes questioning your rationale? And while you may always act rationally, WHY not challenge yourself at times and ask yourself, 'IF IT'S IRRATIONAL, WHY SHOULD I DO IT???

And sometimes I feel so LOW, so depressed, HOW about taking a 2-minute shower under the cold water.  That should ignite your adrenaline no less.  HOW about walking outdoors everyday?  YES, since January 2nd this year, unless there's a downpour, we make sure our hour-long morning walk is part of our regimen.  It's a shot in our arm, for health-sake [and BTW, it's FREE, it cost nada].  SMALL STEPS CAN LEAD TO BIG RESULTS.  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Our 2024 YEARENDER: Nothing Shapes Us Better Than ACTION!

Our 2024 YEARENDER:  Nothing Shapes Us Better Than ACTION!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  If we go by the clinical and medical explanations, they would tell us that BEHAVIOR is influenced by multifarious factors, including, amongst others, physical factors like age, health, illness, pain, influence of a substance OR medication.  OR even personal and emotional factors like personality, belief, expectations, emotions and even mental health.  BUT should we agree that Nothing Shapes Us Better Than ACTION!!!

In real life, though, ACTION shapes our behavior and this fundamental truth is key to unlocking our potential and achieving our most aspirational goals irrespective of WHO we are.  Understanding this concept can be transformative in a world filled with endless distractions and competing priorities💧💧💧

Let's think of the last time you set a goal for yourself.  Perhaps,  it was to exercise more regularly, eat healthier OR dedicate more time to a particular endeavor.  You likely started by planning and even strategizing [even for your personal plans], mapping out the steps you needed to take to achieve your desired outcome.  And while that initial phase is important, recognizing that the purpose of your planning is to remove potential obstacles to ACTION is critical to the successful adoption of a new behavior💥💥💥

Psychologists have long studied the relationship between BEHAVIOR and ACTION and the results of their researches consistently point to one common conclusion:  BEHAVIOR FOLLOWS ACTION.  In other words, it is the act of doing that ultimately shapes our habits, attitude and even beliefs.  This was conceptualized as an 'ACTION FIRST' approach that challenges conventional wisdom and offers new perspective on personal development.  Someone WHO wants to improve his social life for example✅✅✅

He may read books on self-esteem, attend workshops on effective communications and while these activities can be valuable, true confidence is NOT achieved through that passive consumption of information.  Our takeaway:  It is through STEPPING OUT of one's comfort zone, engaging in conversations and facing fears head-on to cultivate our confidence.  Indeed, NOTHING SHAPES US BETTER THAN ACTION!!! Fervently hoping a much much better 2025 NEW YEAR for you and your family🎉🎄🎈