Don't Look Down

Don't Look Down

In our long journey in life, we will always cross paths with someone WHO thinks that he/she is the BEST at WHAT he/she does.  And you would hear them retort:  YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO, BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO.  Oh well, there's nothing wrong, per se, with that.  BUT if we close our ears for the entire time and we DON'T let ourselves LEARN, it could be a recipe for something that will end up in a disastrous or catastrophic way.  There's always something we can LEARN from other people.  Even if we CAN'T see it, there's NO ONE either above OR below us.  Just Don't Look Down💴💷💵

Along the way, we're all LEARNING BUT we DON'T have to overestimate OR underestimate other people.  Thing is, RESPECT is the key to LEARNING.  And that explains WHY we need to listen to other people.  Now let's go back to the part about SUCCESS.  Knowing WHAT you need to fix, you can become an expert in WHAT you pursue💎💎💎

IF ever we find it hard to listen to other people, why NOT try reading?  That explains why we are all constantly egged in reading because it is an integral part of SUCCESS.  And I can't agree less that READING is pretty much a simple tool to teach us HOW to LISTEN.  Much as there are thousands of words that we can choose to listen OR ignore, making ourself SIT and READ is already and actually part of humility.  Much as we want to understand what the writer has to say, we also want to learn from and maybe replicate what the writer is saying all along.  This explains why READING is my part of SUCCESS  because in the past, I was kind of stubborn📌📌📌

Let's go back to READING where I'm egging everyone.  You DON'T need to be a voracious READER.  You can start by reading for 5 minutes every day.  Whew, that 5 minutes is a drop in the bucket.  BUT if it's still hard for you, c'mon, you can try to start READING for only 1 minute then.  NOW, please DON'T tell me you CAN'T spare a minute?  Bottomline here is that whether you start with a 5-minute or 1-minute READING, you need to go through the process of putting yourself to start.  And that is what we call PROGRESS📗📙📘

Again, DON'T LOOK DOWN for multiple reasons.  Primero, you need to be darn FOCUSED in your own pursuit.  Segundo, that would gobble up a fraction of precious time from what you can spare.  Tercero, as a consequence of compromising your FOCUS and incurring an overhead of time spent, you will likely loose that momentum, the inertia that ignited your engine when you switched it on.  Humble yourself to the fact that you have a mission in life and the last thing you want is to loose FOCUS because that chips away your odds and chances of hurdling and taking a tumultuous LAST LAP kick to catapult you towards having a fighting chance to win the sprints which, when combined, will give you the inside track towards successfully completing the marathon of your life.  As long as you DON'T LOOK DOWN❗❗❗

Rein In Before We Get Ruined

Rein In Before We Get Ruined

Has this happened yet to you?  Like when you decided to walk on a path.  After some time, you see something bigger and better on the way and change the direction.  Then, you do that again and again and again.  Question is, WHERE do you think you are?  Did you reach your destination you wanted to go to?  No, right?  You got lost along the way.  C'mon, let's Rein In Before We Get Ruined💴💷💵

NOT sticking to your decisions because you are busy chasing an illusion is going to RUIN your life.  Yes, maybe that field is much better than you previously decided.  BUT you DON'T have to jump straight into the UNKNOWN.  You just CAN'T leave your previous decisions hanging📗📙📘

WHERE does this lead us to?  This only describes our ability to avoid harder things by chasing something much easier.  One thing I learned from the books:  GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME, EFFORT, and DEDICATION.  Alas, that is a universal truth.  So, let us STICK to our decisions because whether we believe it or NOT, CONSISTENCY is the key if ever we want to nip things in the bud and before things turn uglier and 'UNFIXABLE'📌📌📌

Even for the Baby Boomers Generation, they have NO option but to embrace INTERNET as it has kind of taken over our lives.  Another potential RUIN in our life is NEGATIVE SELF-TALK.  Studies showed that NEGATIVE SELF-TALK is the nemesis we never thought we had.  It is INCOGNITO.  BUT it's ruining our confidence, and it's probably the reason WHY sometimes, we seem to be 'sabotaging' some life-changing opportunities that come along our way.  We have to realize that whatever we think and speak about ourself is extremely important.  We just need to STOP treating ourselves like some LOST CAUSE.  DON'T even say things we DON'T mean.  We just need to stop the crap because the last thing we need is to RUIN our life❌❌❌

Another detestable path towards RUINING our life is when we harbor both FEAR of FAILURE and SUCCESS.  Studies show that people that way ended up AVERAGE at best, whew.  They thought they CAN'T FAIL yet at the same time, they CAN'T be at the top too.  Sadly. there are people who are capable of so much BUT they seem to keep sabotaging themselves because they seem NOT READY to deal with the changes down the road.  Let's REIN IN BEFORE WE GET RUINED❗❗❗

Challenges To Our SELF-ESTEEM

Challenges To Our SELF-ESTEEM

Studies were dumbfounded to discover that newborn babies have no SELF-ESTEEM issues.  As they are born with a sense of self-acceptance and self-love, as they grow older, they begin interacting with others and sometimes those interactions may leave them feeling badly about themselves.  In essence, the studies show that our interactions with other people are the very root causes of our low SELF-ESTEEM.  Do we face the Challenges To Our SELF-ESTEEM💴💷💵

Now, this becomes more interesting as studies did break down these ROOT CAUSES to our low SELF-ESTEEM.  Ironically, the very first persons who impact our low SELF-ESTEEM are our own parents as they actually lay the foundation for either POSITIVE or NEGATIVE SELF-ESTEEM.  Even children learn early in life that failing to meet their parents' expectations makes them feel LOW.  Sounds familiar?  WHEN we are tough to our kids' with regard their academic results📗📙📘

Then as we grow in life, the next 'culprits' of our low SELF-ESTEEM are, hold your breath], sometimes our partner/spouse.  So, have you ever let your partner down?  Did they get angry with you?  Did you let  that affect your SELF-ESTEEM?  Let's face it, there are EXPECTATIONS in relationships and sometimes, UNMET expectations cause negativity📌📌📌

Then, for some, even one's job may impact our SELF-ESTEEM.  You may NOT be as skilled as you thought but your co-workers or clients may make negative remarks about your work and that lowers your SELF-ESTEEM.  What's our antidote for this?  Let us ALWAYS realize that work is always an OPPORTUNITY for our growth.  BTW, even strangers can jab at your SELF-ESTEEM.  You might feel you are being unfairly judged because a stranger DOESN'T even know you enough yet you would hear snide remarks.  And that is low blow to your SELF-ESTEEM❎❎❎

What's our takeaway?  Whether it's a parent, partner, co-worker or stranger, SELF-ESTEEM blows do NOT really wreak havoc to our SELF-ESTEEM level.  And there are plenty of things we can do to increase our SELF-ESTEEM and protect it from harsh judgments or accusations.  Moreover, we need to understand that sometimes people say hurtful things and absolutely we will NOT meet everyone's expectations ALL THE TIME and that's a constant challenge to our SELF-ESTEEM❗❗❗

Our Life After Work Matters

Our Life After Work Matters

Many will proclaim that our life at work matters a lot.  I can't disagree on that BUT Our Life After Work Matters does matter maybe more than during those work hours.  BTW, before I proceed, this thread does NOT imply that we work less.  WHAT this thread tells us is that AFTER WORK, our hours can be impactful💴💷💵

Factually, our work does ADD VALUE to our life.  That's a non-issue.  BUT not much though as our life is built by WHAT we do after our WORK HOURS.  Even during that dreaded pandemic, most of us worked way beyond 8 hours.  And if we exclude our sleeping time, we still have roughly another 8 hours of FREE time left.  Now, let's uncork what studies show📗📙📘

Those extra 8 hours should be quite an insane amount of potential to open us up to more opportunities we can explore.  So, here's a frank question. In your FREE TIME, do you watch NETFLIX or do you hone your skills?  Now, to quote experts, 'A PRO PRIORITIZES ACCOMPLISHMENT OVER COMFORT'💊💊💊

Now let's step back.  WHEN we are working, we are working.  We are growing and making progress and finishing off our tasks or project[s].  That is absolutely correct.  BUT what if we use our FREE TIME [of 8 hours] to hone our skills?  And WHAT IF those things turn out to be an advantage for you?  Point is, WASTING TIME on shallow things and mindless entertainment guarantees us regret❎❎❎

Before I get mobbed, allow me to clarify that I'm NOT discouraging you to watch NETFLIX.  I myself, I do watch NETFLIX on average 1 hour a day but that DOESN'T constrain me from honing my skills.  HOW?  It is by remaining FOCUSED to what you plotted to achieve.  You need to be as tough as rigid as you can be to yourself because OUR LIFE AFTER WORK MATTERS❗❗❗

When It's ABOVE YOUR WEIGHT

When It's ABOVE YOUR WEIGHT

Many say that in a relationship, there is a 'REACHER' and a 'SETTLER', the former being someone who's landed someone out of their league and one who's made do with someone below theirs.  BUT recent studies show that partners/spouses who are roughly equally attractive have a better chance of staying together.  And it defies When It's ABOVE YOUR WEIGHT as you've probably seen movies where the nerdy guy gets the popular girl💴💷💵

And if you've watched SPIDERMAN or BACK TO THE FUTURE, they imply that you can OVERACHIEVE in the romance stakes.  BUT studies proved otherwise  as it suggests that those admittedly 'FEEL GOOD' cliche is probably best left in the cinema.  Other studies showed that people of corresponding and similar desirability were MORE LIKELY to be in a successful long-term relationship than, say, a flat-out 10 and a mediocre 5.  And how about that overly used tag for 'SOUL MATES', what does it really mean with 'SOUL MATES'.  Again, it all boils down to people with similar wavelengths📗📙📘

In a nutshell, whether one is PUNCHING ABOVE HIS/HER WEIGHT [or not], it all revolves around people's preferences and people's actions.  Surely, we have our 'ideal' image of the partner we dream in life BUT looking at someone desirable  may be impacted by societal norms.  In the shortest words, there is NO point asking someone what they look in a partner because likely they'll describe someone UNATTAINABLE💎💎💎

Let's step out of the confines of our room.  If you saw someone and you think she's a 10 [and you're NOT], DO YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE?  Now how do we value our partner OR even a prospective one?  Well, the VALUE you place on a woman is based on the VALUE you place on yourself.  So, if you're dating a woman WHERE you think you're PUNCHING ABOVE YOUR WEIGHT, then it's likely you'll pedestal her and put yourself in the pit❎❎❎

Let's paint this scenario.  You're at the pub and a 'drop dead' woman walks in.  BTW, what's the first thing you'll tell yourself?  THAT "she's OUT OF MY LEAGUE'.  "I'LL NEVER GET A WOMAN LIKE THAT'.  In that case, you have made a decision about her that's just a reflection of your own sense of SELF-WORTH.  BTW, you have NO idea of what she thinks as you're deciding for him.  So, are you WHIMPING OUT OF THE RACE before finding out if you could win the trophy❓❓❓

Got A 'MEANING CRISIS'?

Got A 'MEANING CRISIS'?

Do you remember funky questions popping up your head randomly?  LIKE... WHAT's this all about?  WHAT am I doing with my life?  WHY do I need to do this?  Those are likely symptoms that you are either in the precipice of a 'MEANING CRISIS'? Indeed if you have more interrogative expressions like all these, they are tell-tale signs that you got a full-blown 'MEANING CRISIS' at hand💴💷💵

Without overblowing up things, in a 'MEANING CRISIS', we got to answer those questions bordering on MEANING and purpose, that is, if we really want our life to be meaningful, full of MEANING at that.  Knowing our MEANING, the very answers to the numerous WHYs, should lead us to a life that is suck-less📙📘📗

To quote an anonymous writer, 'IN SOME WAYS, SUFFERING CEASES TO BE SUFFERING AT THE MOMENT WE FIND A MEANING, SUCH AS THE MEANING OF SACRIFICE'.  Oh, I admit having heard that multiple times from people I know first hand, people WHO seemed to have transcended to a deeper level where they could have grasped and acquired.  So, you might get back to me and ask as to HOW do we cope with a 'MEANING CRISIS' in an endlessly estranged world💎💎💎

So, HOW can we figure out the question about the 'MEANING CRISIS' once we're left on our own?  Heard of shocking response we hear over and over again?  'WE SHOULD GIVE UP'. And when you challenge someone blurting out this way, he might step back and qualify that he/she DIDN''T mean that as GIVING UP on playing the game of life altogether. BUT more as GIVING UP on analyzing strategies.  Hey dude, GIVING UP is GIVING UP.  You DON'T need to sugar-coat it for you to backpedal.  Instead, crack on your 'MEANING CRISIS'❗❗❗

Now, as we walk along our path, sometimes against the streak of sunlight causing us to get a blurred vision of our journey, would you rather continue walking or doing something because it was assigned or asked to you.  And yet, whether you're able to accomplish it OR not does NOT really matter to you because either way, there is NO MEANING into it?  C'mon dude, grab this 'MEANING CRISIS' and face it head-on.  NO other way than that for a meaningful life✅✅✅

Hard Problems, Anyone?

Hard Problems, Anyone?

No sirrrrs, I'm NOT putting up a false front as a Mr FIX IT, not at all.  Instead, we'd like to share common [and proven] practices to handle Hard Problems, if at all.  BUT hey, this is life, we face PROBLEMS everyday no matter how perfect we think we and our life are.  PROBLEMS are there and they aren't going anywhere UNLESS we face them and FIX it💴💷💵

Acknowledging our problems, solving them, and getting on with our life is better than making it all a BIG DEAL.  Frankly, if I realize something early in life, it's that PROBLEMS should NOT become a source of our sorrow, hurt and worst, grief.  WHEN getting on with our life, we may encounter plenty of barriers and issues that may distract us from our real path.  Sometimes, we DON'T have our full potentials to deal with the issues BUT if we know WHAT we are dealing with, we can do better.  Once we have a clear perspective of WHAT problems we have in our life, there is an absolutely high probability that we can deal with them in a much better way📗📙📘

NOT to dampen hopes or darken the horizons, it's best that we rattle off the most common problems in life so that IF [with crossed fingers] it hits us, we WON'T like fall off from our chair.  HEALTH CRISIS is one.  There just comes a time in our life when we or someone within our family is NOT healthy💎💎💎

WORKPLACE issues.  For it to happen, it's just normal.  There is just NOTHING perfect.  NEW organization.  NEW colleagues.  NEW client.  NEW project,  You just got to face an issue head-on.  EMPTINESS?  Yes, let's admit it.  Now and then, our life becomes dull, seemingly unproductive [although we think we're productive enough] and sometimes, we get a feeling that there is NOTHING we can change.  And that leads to EMPTINESS❎❎❎

FAILURE.  Whew, this could be one of the worst problems ever.  FAILURE is something we got to learn dealing with because this is a FACT OF LIFE.  BUT trust me, we should be able to face [and even contain] FAILURE by accepting it and MOVING ON.  FINANCIAL CRISIS may also knock us off from time to time.  C'mon, even if you thought you're READY enough financially, there will be BAD TIMES when it will hit you [sometimes HARD].  HARD PROBLEMS?  Should be 'NO PROBLEM.  BEEN THERE.  DONE THAT'❗❗❗

Stay The Course

Stay The Course

In the midst of changes that get into our life, sometimes we do slip off the course , it happens.  A few things ed to this slip but more often, the biggest culprit is our own thinking.  Let us watch our thoughts, no matter how resilient we are, life can steer off course within a matter of seconds, IF we are NOT careful.  Regardless, we got to try to Stay The Course💷💴💵

C'mon, CHANGE brings CHALLENGES.  No one hands us our DREAM LIFE on a silver platter.  It just DOESN'T work that way.  It can be a real struggle and likely we will encounter opposition along the way.  Years back, I made HUGE changes in my life, working through personal issues and leaving my home country.  CHANGE is a process.  Deciding to CHANGE our life is the first step, doing it is the second, and the third is to Stay The Course📙📘📗

So what do we do in the midst of CHANGES in our life?  Primero, from my personal experience, try to RESIST THE URGE TO CHANGE THE NEXT ADRENALINE RUSH.  Building the life we want takes time and it's NO longer about quick thrills that give you an ADRENALINE RUSH.  We do all like the buzz of something NEW and EXCITING but after a while, the 'DRUG WEARS OFF' and we're back to FEELING ORDINARY again❌❌❌

Now, here's a tough one.  FILTER OUT all possible distractions.  That is crucial enough.  It's time to streamline your thoughts and actions.  It calls for FOCUS.  Look for that ENERGY leaks in your life.  Anything that's draining your ENERGY needs to be examined.  Start with your home and office.  How tidy is it?  Do you hoard things?  When was the last time you cleared your closet✅✅✅

In your COMPASS in LIFE, you got to learn from others BUT do your own thing.  Usually, CHANGES involves gaining new knowledge and skills.  You need to learn from those who are doing WHAT you want to do.  BUT, once you gain the basic skills and knowledge, you need to put your own stamp on it.  Stay true to yourself for if you start to copy others, you will lose that creativity.  To STAY THE COURSE is not a steep mountain to climb❗❗❗

The Randomness Of Life

The Randomness Of Life

I DON'T intend to resurface that dreaded 9/11 attacks that caused almost 3,000 deaths [to be precise, 2,977 victims + the 19 hijackers].  Enough of that though.  Instead, the 9/11 memory brings me back that story about Elise O'Kane, the United Airlines flight attendant whose life got saved all because of The Randomness Of Life💴💷💵

That time, Elise O'Kane wanted her usual flight from Boston to Los Angeles on 09.11.2001.  BUT when she logged into their system, she keyed in an incorrect code into the airline's computer system and ended up assigned to the wrong flight [instead of Flight UA 175].  Then Elize O'Kane tried other attempts to talk it out with other flight attendants to get assigned to Flight UA 175.  All those became efforts in futility NOT until the hijackers struck Flight UA 175 right to the World Trade Center's South Tower.  That typo error saved the life of Elize O'Kane, THANK YOU LORD📗📙📘

Fast forward today, Elize O'Kane, after taking the time to consider what such a meaningful PLAN might be, she eventually switched career to become a nurse, feeling a 'NEED TO GIVE BACK and FULFILL HERSELF'.  On the other hand, Marco DeMarco, an emergency-service officer with the New York Police Department at that time had a different take on his own survival in the World Trade Center.  To quote him: 'WHY DID I GET OUT?  IF I HAD MADE A RIGHT INSTEAD OF A LEFT, IF I HAD BEEN TWO MINUTES SLOWER', likely he would have NOT survived 9/11💎💎💎

Given those 'miracle stories', do we then subscribe to the RANDOMNESS of LIFE?  NO sirrrrrs, let us PLAN by default.  Let us NOT subscribe to the RANDOMNESS of LIFE because that's NOT the way to LIVE LIFE.  So you might challenge me, WHY PLAN?  DON'T look far.  Let's just read and hear thousands of stories like the stories of O'Kane and DeMarco as they overwhelm us by the unfair RANDOMNESS of LIFE❌❌❌

Those epochal circumstances and fatal OR life-saving decisions so ordinarily meaningless that it's simultaneously easy to see either the 'supernatural guiding hand of a higher power' OR is it the sheer banality of CHANCE?  Suffice it to say that psychologists say that our brains SEEK PATTERN and PURPOSE.  And those traits do evolve to detect CAUSE and EFFECT.  It is very common for us to believe that 'EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON' and that things are 'MEANT TO BE' but that should enlighten us that we are more likely to believe that significant events were 'FATED' than to attribute them to chance.  Let's take a leaf from SUPER MARIO, the main hero of the Mushroom Kingdom.  He's always bright and cheerful but you WON'T see the RANDOMNESS of LIFE in him❗❗❗

WHAT IF You're Not Invited To The Party?

WHAT IF You're Not Invited To The Party?

WHAT IF You're Not Invited To The Party?  Oh yes, indeed it is a tough situation to never get invited to anything.  It would make you feel LEFT OUT, and it will be much harder for you to get into that 'CIRCLE' that gives the misguided impression of exclusivity.  And as terrible as the situation is, there are a lot of things we can do to ensure we get 'pulled in' in various ways and means the next time around💴💷💵

NOT all of that can be your fault though.  There will always be a lot of external factors that fall into play as well.  BUT here's a bright note to an otherwise gloomy horizon.  While there are things that are way BEYOND your CONTROL, there are things you can ACTUALLY change.  And that's WHAT and WHERE we should focus on.  Of course you need to do some real soul-searching like and you'll be surprise that by embedding some of these very obvious observations📗📙📘

And the most obvious reason is we may NOT be that close enough with the people around us.  Let's face it, sometimes we expect to be INVITED to join a 'circle' BUT since we DON'T have a 'concrete relationship' with those around us, it never crosses the minds of others to ever INVITE us, if at all💎💎💎

Sometimes, personalities come into play.  Like WHAT IF others [wrongly] perceive us as 'NOT FUN TO BE AROUND'.  As terrible as it may sound, let's admit it that there are people WHO never give INVITED to anything because they're "UNFUN' to be around.  Who knows we were once INVITED in the past BUT they felt they sucked the life and FUN OUT OF THE ROOM❎❎❎

So, WHAT do we do IF/WHEN we're NOT invited in a social circle or social event?  Experts advise us to be MORE APPROACHABLE.  Rather than look at the fault of others, ask ourselves to exert efforts to be MORE APPROACHABLE.  And when body language comes, we need to manifest that 'OPENNESS'.  And here's a tough one. Let's be MORE OPTIMISTIC.  If that is something we're NOT used to doing, we'll need to start getting used to it [from now on].  Start seeing things positively and eventually, that will rub off on others' perspective of you.  And from that point onwards, it's NOT far-fetched for the stars to get aligned  ✅✅✅