DISCIPLINE Beats MOTIVATION By A Mile

DISCIPLINE Beats MOTIVATION By A Mile

This is one of the endless raging debates through the years [and even with an optimist like me, I DON'T see that debate ending soon].  WHY?  Because while there are two schools of thought here, by far, DISCIPLINE Beats MOTIVATION By A Mile.  Now, for our one-liner openers.  MOTIVATION gets you started.  DISCIPLINE keeps you going.  Most people never realize this.  And eventually they quit the game without exerting any effort to persist and build the DISCIPLINE in their life📗📙📘

That's exactly the reason WHY only a few people are able to reach the TOP of the totem pole.  BECAUSE they effectively control their lives by sticking to that DISCIPLINE.  BTW, even for the warring camps between MOTIVATION and DISCIPLINE, we all agree that SUCCESS only cares about you showing up to work every single day.  NOTHING ELSE💴💷💵

The average individual thinks they need any MOTIVATION, INSPIRATION or ENERGY to go to work.  BUT that's NOT how things work.  The MORE you act, the MORE you get inspired to get better everyday. The next time you DON'T feel like doing any work, dump those feelings out the window.  Thing is, life will continue to test us, you, a 100 times.  You DON'T get anything.  You got to EARN it.  SOMETIMES, you won't get any results.  SOMETIMES, you will feel lost.  SOMETIMES things will go against you.  And that's a TEST for you.  It's already planned by the nature.  And I fervently believe that whatever happens, it happens for good only💎💎💎

Here's a highly controversial and debatable statement I heard on air:  LIFE DOESN'T REWARD THE MOST INTELLIGENT PEOPLE.  LIFE REWARDS THE MOST HUNGRY ONES.  Thing is, it's NOT about competition anymore.  Let's take a look at the world we live today.  More than half the people are distracted. They are CHASING PLEASURE over PURPOSE.  It's NOT about competition anymore.  It's about FOCUS📌📌📌

The FOCUS to be the best version of yourself.  And the FOCUS to stay on the track when half of the people have become aimless.  BTW, unorganized friends will NOT make you DISCIPLINED.  How can you even expect that?  You hang out with people who play with their lives.  And you expect yourself to get on track and build DISCIPLINE in your life?  You need the RIGHT association.  You need HIGH-PERFORMERS around you.  And this internet gives you that GOLDEN opportunity to connect with the world's top HIGH-PERFORMERS because DISCIPLINE Beats MOTIVATION By A Mile❗❗❗

What Failure Is NOT

What Failure Is NOT

Quite frustrating but till to date, there is a sweeping disconnect when we start talking about FAILURE.  Some disconnects tell us that FAILURE is missing the goal we attempted, that FAILURE is falling short in terms of distance, that FAILURE is incurring a shortfall in terms of the required elapsed time, that FAILURE is ending up with an output that missed the specifications that FAILURE is submitting an output that failed to meet the pre-set quality criteria💴💵💷

Truth is, the wisdom of learning from FAILURE is incontrovertible.  Yet, this gap is NOT due to a lack of commitment to learning.  WHEN we try to ask people to reflect on WHAT they did wrong and exhort them to avoid similar mistakes in the future, we would sometimes hit a WALL. That wall of resistance.  Why that WALL?  First, FAILURE is NOT always bad.  In our life, it is sometimes bad, sometimes inevitable and sometimes even good📗📘📙

Secondly, learning from FAILURES is anything BUT straightforward.  WHO says that once you stumble, you'll instantly have that instant FIX when you rise up?  Fact is, we need new and better ways to go beyond lessons that are superficial or self-serving.  That means, jettisoning our OLD HABITS and notions of success and instead embracing FAILURE's lessons.  What follows next is the BLAME GAME.  And this is when FAILURE and FAULT are virtually inseparable in the equation.  Even children learn at some point that admitting FAILURE means taking the blame, sometimes wallowing its impact📌📌📌

BTW, to quote a favorite one-liner in the corporate world, NOT ALL FAILURES ARE CREATED EQUAL.  A sophisticated understanding of FAILURE's causes and contexts will help to avoid the BLAME GAME and figure out learning from FAILURE.  Although an infinite number of things can go wrong, we should NEVER lose grip of that mindset of learning from FAILUREs.  Failing which, we would have FAILED in FAILURES💊💊💊

Just today, I got bogged down with an issue with our home security camera whose SD card cannot be detected.  I had to exhaust all options, isolating the problem, even going to the extend of buying a new SD card on the assumption that its existing SD card is defective.  Lo and behold, I proved myself wrong with that assumption and with my BACK AGAINST THE WALL, I decided to reformat that suspected defective SD card and voila, it worked❗❗❗

Need To Seek Attention?

Need To Seek Attention?

Need To Seek Attention?  Yes I agree, from time to time, we seek ATTENTION, for various reasons.  People may NOT think of their own ATTENTION as a scarce economic good BUT they certainly act as though it is.  They DON'T want their time or their ATTENTION wasted at all.  And the 'mother of all misses' is that as much as we need ATTENTION from time to time, some of us are guilty of NOT giving the ATTENTION others deserve when they talk to is.  Kinda TIT for TAT❓❓❓

The desire to get ATTENTION from people in your life is natural.  We're hard-wired to prioritize connection for survival, and social support has been linked to many health benefits and even longevity.  However, studies show that there are both healthy and unhealthy ways to receive ATTENTION from others📗📙📘

Unhealthy attention-seeking behaviors can damage relationships by exhausting the recipients of the behaviors and make the connection and making the connection feel inauthentic.  They may be signs as well of a personality disorder that could benefit from treatment.  Before we deep-dive, let's find out common reasons why we do seek ATTENTION💎💎💎

Sometime, we're FISHING for compliments.  Receiving a compliment activates that part of our brain the way receiving money does.  We can then all enjoy that HIT of HAPPINESS when someone offers us a genuine compliment and it is NOT necessarily problematic to drop hints from time to time in the hopes that someone will offer us one✅✅✅

Sometimes we're SEEKING SYMPATHY.  All the ATTENTION received for SYMPATHY-SEEKING can, in some cases, take the form of pity rather than the positive ATTENTION gained from praise for one's good qualities.  Bottomline is that while ATTENTION does NOT translate to reciprocity, it behooves that we should DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT OTHERS WILL DO UNTO US❗❗❗

No Silver Bullet Solution

No Silver Bullet Solution

Everyday we face multifarious complexities of problems, from the petty to the life-changing problems.  In short, we're constantly in the HUNT for solutions.  And lucky for us, 95% of the time, it's NOT a long winded road to find the FIX, the solution to a problem.  BUT our remaining 5% of our problems, we do get bogged down.  BUT the bigger problem is we're bugged down because more often than NOT, we're looking for a Silver Bullet Solution💴💷💵

And this is where the NIRVANA FALLACY comes into the picture.  And this fallacy is arguing that a course of action is NO good because it is NOT perfect.  This essentially assumes the opposite of what is more commonly known as the GOLDEN MEAN FALLACY rather than assuming the extremes CANNOT exist and the middle is correct, it assumes the middle CANNOT exist and a solution is either absolutely PERFECT or entirely undesirable📗📙📘

Fact is, there are NO perfect solutions to life's problems.  Have you ever had a problem you couldn't find a perfect solution?  Maybe you had to choose between doing something that you wanted to do and something that was the right thing to do.  OR you had to choose between two options, each of which has its unique set of advantages and disadvantages.  Sadly, when we face problems like this, it's easy to get frustrated and feel like there's no way to make the right decision.  BUT the truth is, there are often NO perfect solutions, NO SILVER BULLET SOLUTIONS but just TRADEOFFS💎💎💎

A TRADEOFF is a situation where you must give up something to get something else.  A simple example, imagine you are trying to decide what to have for lunch.  You want a big, juicy burger [from SUBWAY] BUT you know pretty well that there are better choices than this one.  On the other hand, a salad would be a much healthier choice BUT it's NOT as tasty as a burger.  You're then faced with a TRADEOFF:  Do you choose burger and sacrifice your health OR do you choose salad and offer your taste buds❓❓❓

Frankly, TRADEOFFS are everywhere in our life and they can be tricky to navigate.  Sometimes the choice is easy IF you have to choose between doing something morally right and doing something ethically wrong, the right choice is as clear as the sky versus the ground.  Dude, let us constantly remember that there are NO SILVER BULLET SOLUTIONS in life❌❌❌

Work Life & Personal Life, That BALANCING ACT

Work Life & Personal Life, That BALANCING ACT

Is there an issue at all with regard either Work Life & Personal Life ?  Surely there is none, right?  BUT is it worth tweaking here and there?  Absolutely.  As work is taking over the lives of many of us [especially during that pandemic] in today's fast-paced global environment, and if we DON'T guard ourselves against WORK-LIFE BALANCE, there could be increasing work-family conflicts  and stress📗📙📘

For some, vacations might be getting shorter [BUT just to be clear, we DON'T have that issue within our organization because of the very good policy for employees to utilize at least 50% of their leave credits] and are sometimes clubbed with work lor even worse, many DON'T have the time for a vacation.  QUALITY family time is getting invaded by the omnipresence of media and the internet [NO THANKS to social media]💴💷💵

Now, do we buy that MYTH of the IDEAL EMPLOYEE perpetuated [NOT by the organizations BUT rather our societies] that creates intense time pressure or what some refer to as a 'TIME FAMINE' which can lead to stress and worse, to job dissatisfaction, possibly creating work-family conflict.  That "MALE MODEL' of work prescribes an IDEAL employee who is male, full-time and continuously at work from the end of his education, fully committed to the organization and WITHOUT any responsibilities outside of work❌❌❌

That MODEL is NO longer valid and has become outdated.  In addition, we can also observe a change in attitudes toward what constitutes a successful career especially among the newer generations.  Even our current generation has started to question old assumptions about HOW work is done, HOW to show commitment WHERE and WHEN to work and HOW to advance in the organization.  Along with having a highly paid job, they strive for a 'more complete' life that includes both a successful professional and a personal life✅✅✅

Worse, some couples even have started to postpone and control their procreative activity, resulting in an increasing average first childbearing age and a considerable reduction in fertility.  Bottom line here is fairly simple.  The key to work-life balance [WLB] is right in our hands.  If we DON'T have, likely your organization is NOT the culprit BUT it's us, you WHO loses by default for NOT picking up the challenge❗❗❗

Say NO Instead of Silence

Say NO Instead of Silence

It's perfectly understandable when we hear someone say that he/she would rather remain SILENT rather than Say NO.  I agree with that dilemma because I've been there, done that and it's a tough call to make.  It even pushes you to the DAMN IF YOU, DAMN IF YOU DON'T kind of thing.  Despite our common denominator of a dilemma here, experts are one in saying that it is appropriate to Say NO Instead of Silence📗📙📘

The worst situation where you want to say NO but squeezed in between is when you are in the middle of heated argument [and even if that argument is healthily engaged by both parties].  IF saying NO leads to a break or cutoff of a relationship, IF saying NO means breaking off from a partnership that just can't fail, IF saying NO means parrying or pivoting in a difficult situation, the expert advice is to hold in abeyance such response or action.  BUY TIME💴💵💷

All things being equal, why is saying NO better than SILENCE?  Primero, saying NO is never a FAILURE.  The truth is, receiving a 'NO' for an answer is much better than an eerie SILENCE.  WHY  Because 'NO' leaves little room for debate.  You have your answer and you can move on to bigger and better things.  True it WASNT a YES but a YES is coming and that 'NO' wasn't it.  Makes sense?  So, by being afraid to say 'NO', we are actually closing off the possibility of a YES.  In which case, there are only two acceptable outcomes namely, YES and NO📌📌📌

How do you overcome that dilemma or saying either YES or NO?  You have to try until you get to one or the other.  DON'T settle for SILENCE because it is NOT an absolute.  You CAN neither leave the door open or closed because silence puts everything in LIMBO.  And we all know, if and when we're in LIMBO, we're neither here nor there.  'NO' is therefore better than SILENCE✅✅✅

Now, let's take an extra step forward.  What's stopping us to say 'NO'?  Generally, right behind all these will be that FEAR lurking right behind you.  That FEAR of rejection.  That FEAR of offending.  That FEAR of burning bridges.  That FEAR of NOT being able to stand scrutiny when your 'NO response gets challenged from all fronts.  So what's our FIX?  Dump away across the window that FEAR because to Say NO is much better than SILENCE❗❗❗

NICE Is What You Hear [When There Are NO Inputs]

NICE Is What You Hear [When There Are NO Inputs]

How often do you articulate things so well only to receive a curt response like 'NICE'?  Should be rare BUT when hearing no more than that curt 'NICE', there is likelihood that there is NO substantive response that will be forthcoming response to follow because likely There Are NO Inputs to expect.  So, we got to be sensitive and sharp enough in those exceptions so that you DON'T end up offending the person or worse, so that you DON'T get slighted because you thought you DON'T deserve such a curt 'NICE' after all your articulation⏳⏳⏳

In the past, I did get caught in those 'curt reply' moments and in good faith, I thought I DIDN'T deserve such curtness NOT until I did some dissecting to figure out the situation.  And in good faith, I made the following assumptions:  either the person was NOT comfortable with the discussion topic OR he/she was NOT familiar enough [so that means he/she does NOT have any inputs] OR you and that person are NOT on the same page or wavelength for reasons we CAN'T even fathom.  Takeaway here is that that is the counterpart of body language in verbal communications📗📙📘

BTW, studies showed that communication problems are the #1 reason couples split up with 65% of couples citing this issue as the primary cause of divorce.  BTW, this is NOT limited to romantic relationships as they are often at the root of conflicts in our everyday life.  Perhaps we fail to say what we mean, OR we misinterpret the words of another💎💎💎

Surprisingly, the very #1 most common issue triggering communications problems is NOT TRULY LISTENING.  Sounds familiar?  Your partner/spouse is talking and you seem to be nodding BUT glued on your gadget!  Problem is, when we DON'T actively listen to the person we're speaking to, NOT only do we run the risk of making the person feel invalidated BUT we also miss important nonverbal cues❗❗❗

The #2 trigger of communications problems is ASSUMING YOU KNOW THE MESSAGE [even before the person finishes talking].  BTW, we've all done that. I'm guilty of that quite many times BUT the less here is that WHEN we assume we know WHAT the person will say, we miss WHAT is actually being said.  At the end of the day, if you have NOTHING else to say substantively, think twice if give a curt "NICE" reply because that is NOT ACCEPTABLE by any means❌❌❌

Be Brave When Vulnerable

Be Brave When Vulnerable

Let's face it.  NOT one amongst is NOT VULNERABLE.  We have tons and tons of VULNERABILITIES.  According to American writer Brene Brown, being VULNERABLE is never a WEAKNESS at all.  Unfortunately, many of us [that included me before] hate the word VULNERABLE.  It sounds negative📌📌📌

We all agree that being VULNERABLE is that state where we find ourselves needing help from others.  It's like opening ourselves up to judgment and even to disappointments.  To add salt to injury, people tend to pass judgment so easily because they lack empathy.  BUT the question is, if they put themselves in another person's shoes, will they do things DIFFERENTLY?  Will they act DIFFERENTLY? Will they come out of it better than the person who is actually experiencing a particular challenge in life?  A lot of people just DON'T want to show VULNERABILITY because they DON'T want to be judged, period📗📙📘

Now let's swing to one of our worst fears.  It is DISAPPOINTMENT.  Getting DISAPPOINTED happens when we have a lot of expectations [and sometimes the expectations may be few but SO HIGH it's just unachievable].  So, when we are VULNERABLE, we hope to find support from our loved ones or close friends BUT there are times when the support we were expecting is neither given nor extended.  So, it becomes a RISK everytime we share those 'DARK MOMENTS' in our lives..... BUT taking a RISK is a BRAVE thing to do💎💎💎

Now, what does it take to show others that we are BRAVE enough although life is NEVER perfect?  It's just human nature that we deal with adversities all the time BUT again, we are also resilient.  Being VULNERABLE is just human.  Those trials and tribulations in life are NOT something we should be ashamed of, sometimes shit [pardon for lack of a better word] happens and we end up NOT having control of it💊💊💊

When do we find our true, genuine friends?  It is during our moments of VULNERABILITY, ironically.  BUT could we have found them if we were never BRAVE enough to show them we're VULNERABLE? To clear up the air of confusion, VULNERABILITY is NOT winning or losing BUT it is having the courage to show up and be seen when we have NO control over the outcome. Be Brave When Vulnerable✅✅✅

If You DO What You've Always DONE...

If You DO What You've Always DONE...

If You DO What You've Always DONE, you will always get what you have always gotten.  I'm sorry but this is a FALLACY.  We can look up to all the success stories, whether in business, sports or arts and easily, we should quickly realize that those who succeed and remain on top are always pushing, stretching, and learning NEW things.  They are so sharply aware that if they DON'T, they will soon be losing to someone who will step out of his/her COMFORT ZONE, striving to get better💴💷💵

Simple conclusion here is that we CAN'T just do the same things every day OVER and OVER again yet expecting to improve our lot.  Not at all.  Great things never come to those who remain in their COMFORT ZONE.  Talking about IMPROVEMENTs, there were studies where the respondents were asked to improve themselves just 1% every day.  And it looks a very token target to begin but this is what experts call the AGGREGATION OF MARGINAL GAINS📗📙📘

The essence here is that we are NOT demanded to take a GIANT LEAP of FAITH or that QUANTUM LEAP coming out from one's COMFORT ZONE.  Instead, it is just one step then add increments of one step, next step and next step.  Unfortunately, so many people are locked in their COMFORT ZONE, afraid to venture out💊💊💊

Fact is, if can just realize that all winners were at one time filled with doubt, why DON'T we make it easier to take that first step despite the fact that in UNCERTAINTY lies all possibilities.  BUT if we have that earnest desire to change our results, we need to change our actions.  Frank challenge to us, WHAT can we change today?  WHAT do we need to do differently?  A straightforward question is "IS WHAT I AM DOING NOW WILL TAKE ME TO WHERE i AM GOING TO?'  Because very bluntly, COMFORT ZONES kill progress, growth, innovation and success💎💎💎

QUO VADIS?  Where do we go then?  That question is reserved for each of us to respond to.  BUT to go from where we are now to our point of destination, it will take so much gumption and determination to extricate ourselves from that foxhole where we are in right now.  BTW, WINNERS were NOT born.  WINNERS are self-made stories who left their COMFORT ZONE in pursuit of their target PRIZED PLUM📌📌📌

Mixing Up ANXIETY Versus CURIOSITY

Mixing Up ANXIETY Versus CURIOSITY

Quite often, Mixing Up ANXIETY Versus CURIOSITY is concerning.  To align and ensure we DON'T get mixed up, allow me to quote the below definitions:  CURIOSITY is a non-judgmental inquisitiveness whereas ANXIETY is experienced as a threat of some kind [real OR imagined] versus CURIOSITY which can be just wondering about a non-emotional aspect of something.  So can ANXIETY and CURIOSITY happen at the same time?  As per experts, WHEN WE ARE IN THIS STRESSED STATE OR POTENTIALLY ANXIOUS STATE, THEN WE CANNOT BE CURIOUS AT THE SAME TIME📗📙📘

So, that's the stark contrast between ANXIETY versus CURIOSITY.  While ANXIETY can be driven as a habit by triggering worry as a mental behavior, despite that false sense of control, worrying ISN'T helpful whereas CURIOSITY is more rewarding for our brains.  Problem is, worrying comes easy to us.  We seem too quick and nimble in playing the mind's keys to compose our cacophonous masterpieces💴💷💵

In our moments of flow, we tend to become one with our ANXIOUS ruminations and in the end, lose track of reality.  We too are staggeringly creative.  Even when things are going well, we tend to agonize over imagined reversals of misfortunes.  Those lots of unnecessary WHAT IFs.  Banishing worry from our lives altogether may be a tall order.  BUT what is possible is to change our relation to it, hold our instruments with a tighter grip .  Here's the GOOD NEWS though.  Psychologists state that embracing CURIOSITY can even help to halt ANXIETY📌📌📌

So what does CURIOSITY really mean?  Researchers state that it is the desire to take in a new knowledge and experience.  It is that mindset that can STOP your ANXIOUS brain from thinking of every 'worst case scenario'.  Because whereas ANXIETY drives FEAR, CURIOSITY invites WONDER.  Studies show that when we seek new knowledge, scary feelings like uncertainty, SHRINK💎💎💎

So what's the experts' recommendation?  FOLLOW YOUR CURIOSITY.  As CURIORITY activates the same reward centers of our brain that light up when we learn something new or accomplish a goal, CURIOSITY also helps to temper DISTRESS and it makes us LESS DEFENSIVE and LESS REACTIVE to stress.  With all these benefits arising from our CURIOSITY not seemingly palpable, it takes a conscious effort for us to recognize the value and benefits of CURIORITY because it's about time we put to a stop the confusion caused when mixing up ANXIETY and CURIOSITY✅✅✅