Composure Amid Chaos

Composure Amid Chaos

Ive got NO intentions to sound like Nostradamus, the French astrologer most famous for his book of prophesies but let's admit it, in life, CHAOS is another harsh reality we got to face.  But hey, do you agree  Composure Amid Chaos is our antidote to such a dilemma?  Whether you are a leader in the workplace or one of the team members.  Whether you are a parent or a entrepreneur, got to have composure💊💊💊

When I was working on a year-long project in India, I was working with a colleague who lacked COMPOSURE and seemed to be always in a state of panic.  Though he had tremendous credentials, he lacked the ability to remain calm and thus often made his colleagues feel uneasy with him.  And since he was holding a leadership role, that role seemed too big for what he was capable of handling.  He was often too dramatic and the smallest of problems launched him into a crisis management mode, whew💎💎💎

Needless to say, his wasn't an effective leadership that could deal with real crisis and change.  Because he was unable to REINVENT himself and adapt to the unexpected, his tenure at that workplace was short-lived, much shorter than the span of my short-term project there.  In this 21st century, we need to see through the LENS of OPPORTUNITY.  Instead of getting into a PANIC state, we need to develop that COMPOSURE by taking a step back and begin to CONNECT THE DOTS of opportunity even in adverse circumstances❗❗❗

Developing those traits can lead us to quickly detect causes of adversity and solve such challenges immediately.  That would  then enable us to opportunities previously unseen that could have avoided the adversity in the first place.  Over and over again, I have witnessed numerous times when and where a crisis results because COMPOSURE was lacking or missing📌📌📌

The next time around you stumble on a problem, ask yourself if you could have shown a greater sense of COMPOSURE to have avoided such a problem from surfacing.  If you are a parent or a leader at the workplace, you must AVOID showing signs of leadership immaturity or lack of preparedness that will lead to the people around you to miss out on having that COMPOSURE AMID CHAOS✅✅✅

The TOUGHEST Moments Are The Most INSPIRING Moments

The TOUGHEST Moments Are The Most INSPIRING Moments

The TOUGHEST Moments Are The Most INSPIRING Moments.  Yesirrrrrs, I hope this is non-debatable.  Recall back your past failures in life that sent shockwaves deep within you, those moments when you thought the whole roof was about to crumble down, pinning you deep down.  Miami Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra recalls this back when one foot was 'in the grave' when they lost the first NBA Play-in game against Atlanta Hawks and when the Miami Heat team was in the cusp of bidding adieu to the 2023 Season in their final Play-In game against the Chicago Bulls until Miami Heat, behind star player Jimmy Butler, triggered a 15-1 run that ultimately led to the last nail on the coffin for the Chicago Bulls.  As Miami Heat prepares for the Eastern Conference Finals, Spoelstra looks back at that heartbreaking loss to the Atlanta Hawks that pushed them against the wall.  Fast forward, they are now NBA's Top 4, four wins away from the 2023 NBA Championship Finals💎💎💎

Coach Erik Spoelstra summarized in three words their journey from DESPERATION to PERSPIRATION to REJUVENATION.  From an imminent early exit from the NBA regular season, to CLAWING BACK to inject life in the 'dying moments' until overcoming solid iine-ups from the Milwaukee  Bucks and New York Knicks, the Miami Heat is now about to face [for the second straight year] the Boston Celtics in the NBA Eastern Conference Finals.  Talking about those TOUGHEST MOMENTS that lead to the MOST INSPIRING MOMENTS📌📌📌

Who doesn't want an EASY life?  But hey do you agree that the best way to prepare us for the hardest grind is for us to go through the gauntlet, that acid test of life?  As a personal testament, i have to admit that I did go through the worst challenges in life [and at one point I was residing in a foreign country] but with sheer determination, i did hurdle those near-fatal humps⏳⏳⏳

Studies have shown over and over again that the more tangible a threat is, the MORE resilient we become.  In fact, it is MORE frightening and damaging to the psyche to downplay tough OR dark realities OR to pretend that they DON'T exist because then we allow our imaginations to 'run riot' [and who knows what kind of demons we can conjure in our mind's eye.  Instead of downplaying the REALITY, tell it to us straight.  Just DON'T rush back to normal in an effort to assuage our fear.  Instead, let us endeavor to describe in detail what the THREAT actually is.  Show us up close and personal what REAL-WORLD changes will have to make in our lives and tell us the truth about how these changes are designed to protect us✅✅✅

Experts even recommend that we START AT THE END AND WORK BACKWARDS.  What this means, crystallize your goal and once you're focused, work backwards from it❗❗❗

Coping With Loneliness, Anyone?

Coping With Loneliness, Anyone?

LONELINESS?  Such a boring thread today you might blurt.  Let me share an extract from the www.statista.com fact sheet:  In the NOV 2022 global survey, 33% [that is 33%, whew❗❗❗] of adults experience feelings of LONELINESS.  So, let's agree that indeed LONELINESS is impacting our global village.  So, it makes sense that today, our thread will be about Coping With Loneliness💎💎💎
 

BTW, this prevalence of this LONELINESS dilemma should NOT be attributed to the recent pandemic, NOT at all because in fact and in truth, these numbers tapered off during the pandemic [when we were all locked-out at home together with our families].  So, no thanks to the pandemic, LONELINESS is a legitimate issue we need to look deeper.  The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. VIVEK MURTHY stated that this pervasive dilemma in the U.S. where MORE THAN HALF of Americans are lonely [inclusive of young adults]⏳⏳⏳

Not to unduly blow-out this dilemma because majority of us still live within the urban and metropolitan suburbs but this is the ugly head rearing behind us.  Factor-in social media and we end up with a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde problem because social media goes either way.  Lo and behold, for those wired and connected, they can proclaim 'I CAN LIVE WITH IT' but for the isolated ones, it's kind of pushing them deeper in those trenches📌📌📌

So, regardless whether you're out there in the countryside or within urban areas, we're all in the same boat, dude.  What's our FIX?  First of, RECONNECT.  It's true social media can be toxic BUT hey, you DON'T need to get 'toxicated' right?  If a classmate or teacher from way back sends an FB Friend Request, give it a serious thought [of course you must ASSESS + VALIDATE a request].  Next, let us try to be LESS DISTRACTED.  How often do you look at your phone when someone speaks with you?  For QUALITY, focus on the conversation, give justice where it's due✅✅✅

Hey, while we're egging you to reconnect via social media, do SCALE BACK on social media because Virtual connection is NOT a replacement for IN-PERSON TIME [except if your BFF is 10,000 miles away].  Dr. Murthy says IN-PERSON TIME helps us understand others via the tone of their voice and read their body language.  C'mon, LET'S DO IT,  DON'T belittle LONELINESS❗❗❗

IT's OK Not To Feel GOOD ENOUGH

IT's OK Not To Feel GOOD ENOUGH

Are you stuck looking at yourself across the mirror?  Not literally though but from a SELF-JUDGMENT context?  But not to dampen us, psychologists advise that if you have DOUBTS on yourself, you're NOT alone.  In fact, a plurality of us do get into these SELF-DOUBTS from time to time.  Experts tag those moments of our SELF-DOUBTS as "SELF-EVALUATIVE THOUGHTS" that rattle through our brain.  Whether it concerns our performance at work, some boiling turmoil' in our relationship with our spouse/partner or that unexpressed nervousness if we are capable to climb a 'steep' challenge we doubt but again, as psychologists say,  IT's OK Not To Feel GOOD ENOUGH

All these are NOT our faults according to experts because long way back, humans had to compete with others for STATUS.  Comparing ourselves to others was then once a SURVIVAL SKILL.  And during those tribal ages, being 'EXILED' from one's tribe was a matter of LIFE and DEATH.  That explains why we humans ended up with that FEAR of REJECTION, until today

Humans are too hanged-up with so many WANTS.  WANT to get good grades.  WANT to have more monies.  WANT to be attractive.  WANT to be in the center of everything.  Just one too many WANTS

At times, we try to do everything we can to PROVE to ourselves and others that we are the VERY THINGS we want to see ourselves:  as GOOD, MONEYED, STRONG, ATTRACTIVE, INFLUENTIAL but again, things DON'T work that way.  Bluntly, it is actually our relentless trying to FEEL GOOD about ourselves that causes much of our distress.  Isn't that a gross irony?  When it is ourselves causing it❓❓❓

Researches have reconfirmed over and over again that people who pursue external rewards like FAME, POWER, WEALTH and BEAUTY to be popular are more anxious, depressed and discontent compared to those WHO are focused on personal growth, relationships and helping others.  When our goals are like that, we may find ourselves falling short all the time because there are always people doing better , so we end up feeling constantly judged,  So, c'mon dude, IT's OK NOT TO FEEL GOOD ENOUGH❗❗❗

Anxiety Anyone?

Anxiety Anyone?

Oh Oh Oh this seems a NON-NEWS to us, right ?  Once we raise up Anxiety as a topic, many will protest, that's NOT worth to be our thread.  But c'mon, we can flip things around so that Anxiety  may lead us to clues if only to improve and make our lives better.  We know for a fact that ANXIETY can feel like a heavyweight that we DIDN'T ask to carry in the first place.  Of course, WHO would NOT want to get rid of it. Anxiety Anyone❓❓❓

Neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki points out that Anxiety is a natural human emotion, one that evolved to serve a purpose.  We feel anxious when there is some kind of danger as it seems to prime our body to FIGHT or FLEE from that danger, hoping that we'll end up BETTER off.  In the same way, our modern anxieties can be a warning signal for things that are wrong.  Not having enough rest, lots of multi-tasking, isolation from others.  Our anxious energy alerts us to change our lives for the better, according to Suzuki but sadly, majority of us [and that includes myself] are NOT aware of this proven premise💎💎💎

Apparently, if we simply approach it as something to AVOID, get RID of or dampen, we NOT only DON'T solve the problem but we end up actually missing an opportunity to leverage that hidden power of ANXIETY.  From an expert viewpoint of Suzuki, to do that, we first need to turn down the VOLUME of our ANXIETY so that we can listen to what it [our ANXIETY] has to say.  Now, it might help if we go back to the very basic definition of ANXIETY which is that FEELING of FEAR or worry typically associated with situations of uncertainty⏳⏳⏳

Apparently, GOOD ANXIETY comes with a better awareness that ANXIETY is protective, and going through all the exercises to allow us to take advantage of what ANXIETY originally evolved to do, which is, to put into action that will give us a better outcome📌📌📌

So what's our FIX?  Let us know the difference between GOOD versus BAD ANXIETY in our body.  Chronic anxiety and stress is VERY bad for all our systems in our bodies.  High levels of stress hormones can damage THEN KILL cells in our brain.  On the other hand, GOOD ANXIETY is that 'warning system' that helps put us into ACTION.  We heard about 'FIGHT or FLIGHT' versus the 'REST & DIGEST' part of our nervous system.  And that is what we need to activate to bring us back to equilibrium when stressed.  ANXIETY anyone?  Not for me, not for us✅✅✅

Petulance Is An Ingredient for FAILURE

Petulance Is An Ingredient for FAILURE

Oh, this is a recycled one-liner, that "FAILURE IS INEVITABLE".  And of course, generally speaking, that is true.  But, as much as FAILURE is a normal part of everyday life, we owe it to ourselves to realize that you DON'T have to stay in that state [of FAILURE].  FAILURE being normal, but getting stuck in FAILURE should NOT be the case.  So, for today, we got to pin down the most common causes and culprits of FAILURE but in the midst of things, please allow me to highlight that  Petulance [itself] Is An Ingredient for FAILURE.  Once we start rattling down the most common causes or culprits of FAILURE, we will realize that PETULANCE is indeed an Ingredient for FAILURE.  And as per Mr Webster, PETULANCE is defined as either bad-tempered, ill-tempered, impatient and veering to being childish  And surely, everyone of us have been petulant few times in the past but that's fine💊💊💊

So, what are our common behavioral manifestations either bad-tempered, ill-tempered, impatient and veering to being childish?  Topping our all-time list are EXCUSES EXCUSES and EXCUSES and I vividly remember hearing this funny sharing that EXCUSES are like armpits.  We all have them and they all stink, whew.  Whether we're person-specific or organization-specific who makes EXCUSES will never be able to accept that their FAILURE was caused by something they did or didn't do❗❗❗

A petulant Obama, yes the former U.S. President?  Yesirrrrrs, to be tagged as petulant does not shield even world power leaders.  Whether it's in their  work performance or the execution of their executive powers. those are common areas where they could have been tagged as PETULANT.  Now, have you heard of the BLAME GAME?  So, when you fail, what's the first thing we do?  Oh well, for each of us, the first thing we need to do is to face the mirror [but which we DON'T do].  Instead, many of us [and I'm guilty of this in the past] would blame someone else💎💎💎

You might challenge me and ask, where's the beef when we blame?  Unfortunately, BLAME creates animosity and burnout and may even ruin one's relationship[s] and even one's business  Instead, when you succeed in something, credit that to others' contributions.  When you FAIL, start with the only person you can change.  Coming close to the heels of BLAME is DOUBT.  There's just a lot to be said for confidence📌📌📌

Now, "Try TRY" which means TIME TO REINVENT YOURSELF.  To quote famous American writer Mark Twain, 'ALL YOU NEED IN THIS LIFE IS IGNORANCE AND CONFIDENCE AND THEN SUCCESS IS SURE'.  But here's the catch.  That does NOT come easy.  If you find yourself in DOUBT, just realize that you are capable of faith.  Meanwhile, throw out through the window that disgusting PETULANCE because you DON'T need that in your recipe for SUCCESS✅✅✅

Do You Need To IGNITE Your Motivation

Do You Need To IGNITE Your Motivation

Have we ever thought that we Need To IGNITE our Motivation?  Too bad, many of us [and I'm guilty of it several times in the past] would give MOTIVATION that lip service it does NOT deserve.  Sometimes, we [wrongly] believe that MOTIVATION is as effortless as the rain [when it pours].  BUT WHAT IF THE RAIN DOES NOT POUR❓❓❓

Other than we are ill or sick, if you agree to this poster, that's detestable to say the least because with that attitude, I'll challenge the incumbent why in the first he/she ended up at the workplace [if all he/she wanted was to be HOME?  This lack of MOTIVATION can be the biggest obstacle for us to reach and achieve our goals.  When MOTIVATION is either lacking or missing, identify what's causing you to struggle because you need to GET GOING📌📌📌

How about this?  Act AS IF you are MOTIVATED?  Try it, you may be able to pull a TRICK to yourself by thinking that you're motivated to change your behavior.  Try it, there's a probability that your actions may even change your emotions.  Let's picture ourselves.  Rather than be seated on the couch all day with your pajamas, GET DRESSED & GET MOVING❗❗❗

Picture this out [if this is pure FICTION or you have seen this happening to others [if NOT to yourself]].  When you're struggling with MOTIVATION, you'll likely come up with a long list of reasons WHY you should NOT take any action.  Suddenly, here you are telling yourself 'OH THAT's HARD'.  'OH, IT WON'T BE DONE ANYWAY'.  These types of thoughts will KEEP YOU STUCK, promise⏳⏳⏳

Now, try to ARGUE THE OPPOSITE.  When you think you'll FAIL, argue with yourself all the reasons WHY you will succeed. OR when you think you CAN'T finish a task, list all the evidences [to convince yourself] that you can indeed finish that task.  If you need to be hard to yourself for you to IGNITE your motivation, go for it, dude✅✅✅

FOCUS Causes 80% of Misses [and even Mishaps]

FOCUS Causes 80% of Misses [and even Mishaps]

Failed grades in school.  Wrong output at work.  Strained relationship with spouse and/or loved ones, businesses teetering and in the brink of bankruptcy.  Driving snags hit on the way from office to work.  Or long-haul drive resulting in an accident This sampling can go on and on but again, FOCUS Causes 80% of Misses and that includes this sampling of exceptions.  Strange but all these share its commonality to a lost or weakened FOCUS💊💊💊

Oh oh oh, in our lives, many of our own problems can be traced back to our own UNDOING.  Driving as an example.  Despite all of the new safety technology in cars.  statistics from the U.S. National Highway Traffic Safety Administration [NHTSA]show that 94%  of car accidents are related to the driver.  But hold on, our thread today is not just about driving accidents being caused by lost, weakened or impaired FOCUS but we'd like to peruse the various common day-to-day problems FOCUS seems to be impacting in our daily lives💎💎💎

The 'mother of all ironies' is that even in the workplace, losing FOCUS is really NOT always caused by 'lazy dogs'.  Surely, you have come across in the workplace those workaholic colleagues who'd be multi-tasking from 800am till 500pm. those colleagues who would even skip tea-breaks, those folks who would go for their 'bladder break' only when they have pushed it way too far and they CAN'T handle it anymore.  So, this is a nightmare to discover and uncork if despite one's 'workaholism', you would end up missing your target deliverables simply because you lost FOCUS [because you ended up being spread thinly across⏳⏳⏳

So, isn't this a very exasperating realization?  That when FOCUS does NOT happen in a FOCUSED manner, this dilemma cuts across practically every facet of our daily life, be it as minute as driving or as essential as performing your daily work at the workplace.  So WHAT'S our FIX for this?  We got to realize that FOCUS does NOT entail any overhead COSTS.  Simply get FOCUSED 📌📌📌

Even figuring out as to what causes one to lose or compromise focus is, after all, a no-brainer.  This reminds of the high-end IBM CPU processors marketed as MPP's [Massive Parallel Processors] but do you know that even MPP's execute its multi-threading PER THREAD?  So, what's the common denominator of both us humans and technology?  We can only execute one task at a time.  Think about FOCUS causing 80% of misses✅✅✅

Reading The Ball Off The Ball

Reading The Ball Off The Ball

Many of us get it so wrongly.  Many [wrongly] think [until today] that we got to have that 'EYES TO THE BALL' because our whole life revolves around that ball.  They got this absolutely wrong because in life, it constantly revolves even without the ball in proximity.  In NBA basketball jargon, the best bench tacticians are so focused in Reading The Ball Off The Ball because by the time that ball gets right within you, time could be so fleeting, before you know it, it's OVER before you thought it has NOT started yet.  Those are the fatal stories that end up prematurely all in flames because they failed to Read The Ball Off The Ball✅✅✅

In the competitive world of sports, the very core of the trainings zero-in to Read The Ball Off The Ball.  Breaking this colloquialism in the simplest terms, this means that we need to be STEP AHEAD and be able to paint all the possible iterations and scenarios so that whatever scenario happens, you have your scripted action plan.  To be a STEP AHEAD does NOT need gargantuan efforts, if at all.  This is all about being proactive and pre-emptive before thing turn south💎💎💎

Off the ball means constantly plotting things out WAY BEFORE D-Day comes.  It means plotting an action plan that covers Scenario A, B and even C.  It means planning based on a list of WHAT IFs. And those WHAT IFs must revolve around the pitfalls and risks that may happen ahead of what you expect.  By Reading The Ball Off The Ball, you draw that parallelism to the great chess grandmasters who spend even an hour or more to list each possible iteration and craft a plan of action based on assumptions.  When and if a 1st assumption ends up wrongly, there must be a 2nd set of assumptions, a 3rd set and even a 4th set📌📌📌

In the world of soccer sports, 80% of their trainings are designed OFF THE BALL.  WHY?  Because in the real game, 80% of the time, the soccer player does NOT have the ball.  So, he has to run circles even to test his stamina.  In the grueling NBA games, a player can NEVER be stationary, else the coach can bring you back to the bench to warm things all over again.  start Reading The Ball Off The Ball dude because there's no other way for you to go❗❗❗

Oh yes, this is a given, that indeed, BALL IS LIFE but that's not enough for us to fathom.  We got to extend life before it gets snapped and at best, we need to pre-empt multifarious UNKNOWNS based on KNOWN assumptions. Common lesson here is that life is very IFFFFY and if you end up a step behind unfolding events in life, you could be dead in the water unless you Read The Ball Off The Ball⏳⏳⏳

That STEEP Road To Recovery

That STEEP Road To Recovery

Anyone there who can mentor us to avoid FAILURES?  No way, Jose.  The roads we're travelling are peppered with trenches and foxholes a.k.a. PITFALLS.  Sooner or later, everyone FAILS at something.  But does everyone really learn from their FAILURES?  Sadly, so many studies have shown that most people struggled to grow from mistakes and defeats.  Psychologists proved that most of us 'UNDERLEARN' from each FAILURE in our respective lives.  Talking about That STEEP Road To Recovery📌📌📌

Effectively, experts are telling us that WE tend to avoid the LESSONS in FAILURE.  Reality however is that FAILURE indeed bruises our ego. that metaphorical seat of our SELF-ESTEEM and importance.  When we FAIL, we feel threatened and that sense of threat can trigger a 'FIGHT or FLIGHT' response 'FIGHT' in the context of FAILURE looks like a wholesale dismissal of our value of the task or criticism⏳⏳⏳

Whereas, 'FLIGHT' might be the more common response to FAILURE.  When we flee FAILURE, we disengage our attention from the task that threatens our sense of ourselves as effective people.  The challenge we have at hand is removing that EGO from FAILURE as much as possible by looking at other people's failures first before you take on a task yourself.  In simpler terms, if you want to learn how to SKI or SWIM, it makes to sense to watch videos of people making mistakes before you hit the slopes or dip into the waters💎💎💎

If negative emotions are getting in the way of your understanding, experts recommend SELF-DISTANCING TECHNIQUES.  This involves thinking of your personal experience from the outside perspective of a neutral third party. Like WHY DID HE FAIL instead of WHY DID I FAIL?  Research shows that when people adopt a SELF-DISTANCED perspective while discussing a difficult event in life, they make better sense of their reactions and end up experiencing less emotional distress and display fewer psychological signs of stress.  In the long-term, they also experience reduced reactivity when remembering the same problematic event💊💊💊

Ooooooops, experts encourage us to SHARE OUR OWN FAILURE STORY.  But human nature dictates that we hide our own FAILURES [out of a sense of shame] but there are ways to turn FAILURE into SUCCESS by transforming it into a story of growth.  Topping our bucket list is to RECOGNIZE our SUCCESSES.  There are many ways to shore up our own ego. Now what comes next?  THINK BEYOND FAILURE.  Beyond that emotional challenge to our ego, FAILURE also presents a cognitive challenge, meaning that information from FAILURE can be harder to process than successful experiences.  Indeed, THAT STEEP ROAD TO RECOVERY may seem so far and unachievable.  But we got to roll with the punches, dude❗❗❗