Don't Let One Wrong Scupper Yourself

Don't Let One Wrong Scupper Yourself

Allow me to quote respected American author DARREN HARDY saying 'ALLOW YOURSELF TO GO AND DO IT WRONG.  DON'T EXPECT TO ALWAYS GET IT RIGHT.  IT WILL PREVENT YOU FROM DOING ANYTHING'. That says all about our recurring dilemma and it's all because of a WRONG we might have committed.  Many times we commit a WRONG and more often than not, it becomes an impediment for us to take a step towards doing something RIGHT simply because we've done something WRONG.  But isn't it that unfair and unjust and worst, unreasonable?  To align with Darren Hardy, Don't Let One Wrong Scupper Yourself💎💎💎

One could be caught so squeezed between two warring factions, each giving an advice whether rightly or wrongly.  What is fraught with apprehension is when someone holds things in abeyance and starts to heed and hear an ill advice at that.  And I've witnessed pour souls deprived to be given to do something RIGHT simply because he did WRONG📌📌📌

Indeed, who is one to unilaterally judge something as RIGHT or WRONG if it hinges on the context and perspective.  And while this could trigger rounds of rowdy debates, let's face it.  Everyone of us is entitled to redeem himself, to recover from a slip-up, from a WRONG action.  It could be a WRONG judgment but hey, can't we give the guilty party the reprieve at least for his first infraction, as long as it DOESN'T recur⏳⏳⏳

What CAN'T be condoned is if a WRONG recurs over and over again, covered up with reasons that's just seems to be 'beyond the roof'.  I've heard 'GIVE ME A CHANCE' but hey, if that is your Nth infraction, what gives? For a repeat offender, there should be very little room to accommodate such outliers because sooner than expected, outliers will become the default common thing✅✅✅

What we need to align here is the irrational reason that once someone has WRONGED, he brings with him that stigma that will be the singular impediment to recover from that wrong doing.  Regardless, Don't Let One Wrong Scupper Yourself because that is stretching things beyond reason❗❗❗

Is Your Anger Like A Volcano

Is Your Anger Like A Volcano

No sirrrrrs, I apologize if I get misconstrued for putting down volcanoes because there are one too many world-famous volcanoes like Mount Fuji and Mount Vesuvius.  But our piece today is NOT about volcanoes.  Instead, we'd like to compare our own anger during those 'down moments' we struggle.  So, how  Is Your Anger?  It is Like A Volcano❓❓❓

The thing is, ANGER being part of our normal life, it just becomes a MUST-DO that we're aware of our ANGER MANAGEMENT.  At the end of the day, we're always reminded for us to CONTROL ANGER BEFORE IT CONTROLS US.  Point is, there are tons of anger scenarios and as to how we deal with it, a lot is influenced by our  ANGER MANAGEMENT and as to how effective it is in containing our ANGER💎💎💎

Let's face it, no matter how beautiful the volcano is, when it erupts, its beauty gets literally buried by its wrath when it erupts.  And that is NOT far different when we do vent out our anger but the worse part is if our anger goes way beyond bounds.  So how do we handle ANGER?  Please DON'T get me wrong but ANGER per se is a normal feeling and it can be a positive emotion when it helps you work through issues or problems⏳⏳⏳

Be aware that ANGER can be problematic if it leads to aggression, outbursts or worst, physical altercation.  ANGER CONTROL is important to help us avoid saying or doing something we may regret.  Before ANGER escalates, let us consider these FIXES.  Try to take a breather.  Note that your breathing becomes shallower and speeds up as your anger worsens.  Reverse that❗❗❗

And while ANGER boils up, it does simmer down, promise.  So, be patient for your ANGER to simmer down.  It's neither effortless nor too tough fpr it to simmer down.  Combine this with a 'MENTAL ESCAPE' like slipping into a quiet room, closing your eyes, and practicing to visualize yourself in a relaxed manner.  Sooner, you'll realize that managing and controlling ANGER is not that tough✅✅✅

Are You Worth The Flyer

Are You Worth The Flyer

This poster did grabbed me by my lapels because I can't further disagree with it.  Indeed, to quote:  'NEVER ADVERTISE YOUR FEELINGS, THERE IS NO VALUE FOR IT'.  Few years back, a local non-celebrity did advertise his feelings for one of the more popular local actress here.  How far did he go from that point?  Nada, Nichts.  Nothing.  On the other hand, it did boomerang back on him.  But going back to our life, let's admit it.  In some of our personal pursuits, we tend to build up that flyer.  Remember when we are out in the job market, some of us even end up doing all the 'window dressing' of our CV/Resume.  But the constant question is:  Are You Worth The Flyer⏳⏳⏳

Flipside of things, it just makes sense that before we do 'advertise' ourselves [whether we are wooing our 'dream girl' or angling for our 'dream job], we got to pause and ask ourselves this:  HOW MUCH ARE YOU WORTH?  Not financially but in terms of your upside, your capabilities, your value-add to what you're angling.  That's the basic question we got to pose for us to address even before we start considering to position ourselves for a goal we're determined💊💊💊

We're just too familiar all those commercial businesses come up with their best flyers and we're not different from the commercial initiatives.   For someone aggressive out in the job market, you'll want to showcase all your pluses in your CV/Resume to an extent that we sometimes [and maybe many times] tend to end up 'window dressing' it, which is fine by the way.  But the biggest challenge in life is how far can you match everything you mentioned in your CV/Resume?  And what happens if you're unable to prove what you're really worth [as per your 'pumped up' CV/Resume]?  Sadly, you could likely end up empty handed, no doubt about it📌📌📌

Yes, we all agree that in life, we need to PUT OUR BEST FOOT FORWARD.  Nothing  wrong about it but on one stern condition.  You got to match and prove every iota of detail you advertised [whether in your flyer, in your CV/Resume or even in those sweet-sweet notes you scribbled for your 'dream girl'].  Failing which could have serious repercussions and implication to your life.  Put yourself in the shoes of your eventual partner/spouse if you ended up NOT as per your FLYER💎💎💎

The worst of all worst things is to unduly 'pump up' expectations of others on you and only for you to end up as a 'DUD', an empty shell.  And what do we end up when we're indeed a 'DUD'?  People can just dump you and kinda throw you out in the window.  And BTW, not to scare us of the consequences but the implications are quite serious if we end up failing the expectations of people, all because we could have 'pumped up and 'window-dressed' our flyer ending up with a perception we are unable to match and prove.  Never miss out reminding yourself if ARE YOU WORTH THE FLYER❓❓❓

Scambags & Fraudsters Are Here To Stay

Scambags & Fraudsters Are Here To Stay

Much as I tried my darn best to resist from having SCAMS & FRAUDS as our piece for today, I just CAN'T resist it after coming across the ChannelNews Asia piece today, I realized that indeed, it's NOT redundant to say that Scambags & Fraudsters Are Here To Stay,  Even in the city-state of Singapore where its laws are known to be one of the toughest, the statistics are screaming loud enough⏳⏳⏳

Despite the pandemic enveloping us all, its total number of scam and cybercrime cases rose by more than 25% year-on-year.  And out of the total cases scams accounted for a hefty 94%.  And the TOP FIVE SCAMS types were PHISHING scams, JOB scams, e-Commerce scams. investment scams and FAKE FRIEND CALL scams [as per official data by the Singapore Police Force]💜💛💚

And not to our surprise, those TOP FIVE SCAMS made up more than 80% of the TOP 10 SCAM types in Singapore alone.  Now, hold your breath, guess what comes into the equation next?  And the $64 question now is:  WHY DO SCAMMERS USE ROMANCE AS PART OF THEIR MODUS OPERANDI?  Security Expert Mr Gallagher opined that in most cases, the lure is trying to draw someone into a flirtatious or romantic relationship because that affects their ability to think critically about the whole situation.  In the shortest world, when ROMANCE creeps in, it throws a 'monkey wrench in our normal thinking and judgment💎💎💎

And topping today's list of TOP SCAMS is the 'PIG BUTCHERING SCAM' a.k.a. ROMANCE SCAM which has become one of the most popular tactics those fraudsters steal cryptocurrency.  After a fraudster gains the TRUST, the scammer encourages the victim to invest in cryptocurrency trading.  The scammer then guarantees the victim will make money [either via an 'INSIDER TIP' or the investor's knowledge📌📌📌

In the U.K. alone, there are more than 150 FAKE firms with 'known ties' to China, targeting people online, 'breaking their hearts' and in the end, emptying their bank accounts.  Sadly, everything starts when a woman meets a man online.  They flirt.  After a few weeks, they being 'IMAGINING' their future together.  Fast forward months later, one of them ends up as 'heart broken' after getting defrauded with all his/her monies.  TO BE FOREWARNED IS TO BE FOREARMED.  SCAMBAGS & FRAUDSTERS are here to stay, sadly✅✅✅

When The Stars Align

When The Stars Align

Through the years, psychologists have consistently confirmed in their studies the one factor which most accurately predicts increased feelings of satisfaction in people's lives is a SENSE OF PURPOSE and conversely, the lack of it equally accurately predicts the opposite and leads to DEPRESSION, HOPELESSNESS and even ANXIETY.  And according to these experts, it DOESN'T matter what that SENSE OF PURPOSE is, merely that it is.  For one person, maybe it's all about caretaking for aging parents.  That kind of unique circumstance could lead one to achieve seemingly SUPERHUMAN feats like carrying her parents up a long flight of stairs despite enduring severe back problems.  And this leads us all to it When The Stars Align⏳⏳⏳
 

For another fellow, it could be getting immersed in art or picking up a hobby one longed for a long time.  And as long as there is something before us, it seems something to work toward that has meaning to us, regardless whether it has meaning to anyone else or NOT, as our lives will certainly NEVER be perfect, but they will be vastly better than they would be otherwise.  In short, PURPOSE makes life worth living and the absence of it, in my humble opinion, would be our worst undoing💎💎💎

So, in the vastness of the solar system, how do we pull this off when the stars align?  First things first, we must accept things as they are and NOT as we wish them to be.  By this, I DON'T mean that we should like the way things are BUT instead, NOT liking the way things are is a great reason to put your mind to changing them.  Again, that leads us to when the stars align💊💊💊

Having said this, we need to be realistic enough about the way things are so that we can create our goals that are then achievable as compared to setting ideal goals.  HOW?  First off, accept your limitations.  If you're NOT into physically strenuous activities, then DON'T hope to be a gym coach.  That becomes essential because NOT only that you're guaranteeing your failure if you choose to take that path📌📌📌

Furthermore, we need to establish what we really value.  Then we can align our VALUES with all sorts of things but this is something NOT to be dictated by anyone else BUT you yourself.  To translate our focus when the stars align, we got to enact our values to come up with concrete steps aligned with our goal and PURPOSE IN LIFE and then commit to it especially when the stars align❗❗❗

DON'T Wait To Be Ready

DON'T Wait To Be Ready

We'll hear this OVER and OVER again.  Be READY.  Get READY.  Gotta be READY.  BUT hey, DON'T Wait To Be Ready.  That's our dilemma.  From our growing up years, our parents would always put the impetus of getting READY in life [which is fine as a motherhood statement] but to live your daily life, let us throw out in the window that you gotta be READY before plunging💎💎💎

To quote Jensen Siaw, one of Asia's popular performance coach and motivational speaker, 
"DON'T WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO TAKE ACTION.  INSTEAD, TAKE ACTION TO BE READY" I think that is well said and that hits the nail right on its head.  Because we grew up under the very nose of our parents, guiding us to BE READY and GET READY, by the time we were unleashed, no one's to blame if we got molded, disciplined and trained that READINESS is the key.   And per se, that's very true, READINESS is non-negotiable but unfortunately, that READINESS aspect tends to hold us back⏳⏳⏳

Oh, technology is to be partly blamed as well because we got so used to this "DOWNLOADING.  PLEASE WAIT" but hey in life, we're NOT talking about technology and internet.  It's our very own manual way of living and leading our life.  So, please REBOOT & RESET so that that DOWNLOADING message gets erased from your mindset

That signage "YOU AREN'T READY", I'm thankful I didn't come across that.  ELSE, I would have NOT succeeded on the goals I did set for myself.  ELSE, I would have NOT taken the plunge by migrating to Singapore at a time when I knew no one else who could have guided me in my NEXT STEPS there.  ELSE, I would have NOT those meaningful stints with global and Fortune 500's organizations.  ELSE, I would have NOT have been exposed to the rich cultures across💊💊💊

IF at all, READINESS applies the most to sportsmen preparing for a fight [think of Floyd Mayweather in Boxing, Usain Bolt in track and field and Michael Phelps in swimming].  Other than competitive events, let's just take the plunge way before we reach out 100% READINESS.  Just DON'T WAIT TO BE READY✅✅✅

NEVER Wait For The Beginning Of The End

NEVER Wait For The Beginning Of The End

Carlos Ghosn, the former Chairman & CEO of Nissan-Renault Alliance was once quoted that: NEVER wait for the beginning of the end and I just can't agree less than that.  Except for catastrophic events [God forbid] like natural calamities, accidents and terrorism,  all other turn of events in our life just didn't pop-up like that 'Big Bang Theory'.  Somewhere somehow in the not so distant past, you could and should have detected the beginning ff the end💎💎💎

Take breakups of relationships.  99.99% of it were not plotted to [sadly] end that way, and sometimes ending acrimoniously.  Ironically, 99.99% of relationships start off all shining and dandy.  BUT the most perplexing question is as to WHY many of us still end up kinda in a state of shock when it happens.  Simple answer is:  We ignored the initial arguments that worsened into tiffs and escalating into full-blown quarrels till 'bridges got burned'💊💊💊

We can easily compare all these to our laptop woes [both for students and office workers ever since we got hit with that dreaded pandemic.  99.99% of laptops will NOT breakdown instantly.  Instead, there will be tell-tale signs and most of which seem incognito or alarming enough but we humans should be DISCERNING with every minute detail.  DON'T even give that LAME EXCUSE that you're NOT a techie because you DON'T need to be a techie to detect when the laptop startup takes more time than normal.  OR when you hear eerie sounds 'inside' the laptop when you access files.  OR when it gets stalled during your work📌📌📌

OR let's pick the most common symptom that's happening to many of us when we are in the midst of our tasks.  Those headaches [which you quickly shrug off as 'OH THAT'S MY MIGRAINE'.  OR those recurring cases when you missed out a thing or two [and when it keeps recurring, it becomes chronic]. Those momentary lapses.  We can keep going and there's a plethora of these symptoms✅✅✅

Oh, swinging over to FRAUD, not to heap any blame on the poor victims BUT prior to getting hit with FRAUD, there's a 'chain of events' that would have prompted or alerted the prospective FRAUD victim [at that time] but again, we either glossed over it and just ignored it all.  At the end of the day, let us remember what Carlos Ghosn said:  NEVER WAIT FOR THE BEGINNING OF THE END❗❗❗

Is Your Frying Pan 'BIG ENOUGH'?

 Is Your Frying Pan 'BIG ENOUGH'?

Is Your Frying Pan 'BIG ENOUGH'?  It's true you DON'T need more than just one frying pan at any given time.  BUT, sometimes, you would need a much bigger pan.  And sometimes you need it a bit deeper.  Such is the analogy with life itself.  Regardless if you're still a student now, or someone fresh from university, or one who's now in the workforce, or simply being committed to your partner/spouse.  Regardless, you got to be AGILE📗📙📘

If you're a family man, your being AGILE is NOT even asked because that's a given.  I did hear in the past someone grumbling WHY life's travails never seem to end.  And I didn't mince my words when I blurted "OTHERS DIDN'T CHOOSE OUR LIFE BUT US".  Gone are the days of human slavery so never it comes as a surprise if we have the life we have now.  It's us who directed the sail of the boat and it's who will continue to steer it in the high seas and lead it back safely onshore📌📌📌

These days, the baggage that often is at the crux of things is EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE.  Psychologists always stated that "WE ARE ALL CARRYING BACKPACKS THAT WE CONTINUALLY LOAD UP.  WE KEEP STUFFING THEM FULL UNTIL ONE DAY, YOU CAN'T ZIP AND THE STUFF STARTS SPILLING OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE".  And this picture says it all.  Lesson here:  Let us NOT eat beyond what we can chew. way beyond our capacity and capability💊💊💊

So, here are some basic questions for us:  How much does your life weigh?  Imagine for a second you're carrying a backpack.  And I want you to feel the straps on your shoulders and then, try filling it up with people.  Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends. folks around the office then move to the people that you TRUST unconditionally💎💎💎

So what is this proverbial backpack?  And how can we prevent it from filling up to the point where we feel like we CAN'T carry all of our 'stuff'?  To get to the bottom of it [pun intended], let us NOT be so over-zealous to stretch ourselves too thinly by [falsely but sometimes in good faith] raising expectations in our capability to carry on responsibilities✅✅✅

A Rising Tide Lifts All The Boats

A Rising Tide Lifts All The Boats

No sirrrrrs, today's piece is neither about the maritime industry nor about sailors.  Instead, A Rising Tide Lifts All The Boats attempts to map those scenarios to our life wherein we are the TIDE that directly shapes and influences the lives of our immediate loved ones, our immediate family.  That level of the tide dictates the tempo and even the very fate of the boats itself📌📌📌

Those boats onshore are akin to our loved ones.  Whatever happens to them is dictated by the way you live and lead your life.  If you're the head of the family, too much responsibilities rest on your shoulders.  And it is NOT sufficient that you are soft and kind hearted.  Heads of families need to be ASSERTIVE, DECISIVE and PERSISTENT to the extent of being PUSHY because you DON'T have that intestinal fortitude to be the leader of your family, your family's direction may get waylaid💊💊💊

Your SENSE of RESPONSIBILITY dictates upon you to be the forceful leader who will lead the pack to an outcome favorable to everyone.  Unfortunately, I can attest to have seen people whose BEST TRAITS, if at all, are the dreaded 3 F's namely FEEBLE, FEARFUL and FRIGHTENED.  Imagine that hesitation to step forward as the person gets 'hostaged' by endless apprehensions in life❓❓❓

GRIT, FORTITUDE and WILLPOWER are the most basic traits that one has to equip himself for him to LEAD effectively.  Try to take away GRIT, FORTITUDE and WILLPOWER, what you have at hand is your RECIPE for FAILURE.  Who wants to end up with the family members taking their own separate paths?  Who wants to end up in an 'EMPTY HOME'❓❓❓

Sadly, I have seen lives wasted because it was NOT steered with GRIT and FORTITUDE.  The supposed LEADER can be soft spoken and kind but those are NOT the essential traits a LEADER is expected to manifest.  Take away that GRIT and FORTITUDE [pardon me, a.k.a. 'balls], your life and likely the lives of your loved ones will likely be 'off tracked' till one by one, FAILURE becomes the end result.  Lesson here is that YOU as the TIDE will shape or ship out others lives✅✅✅

When YOUR World Gets Smaller

When YOUR World Gets Smaller

Talking about the world seems huge indeed.  But can we agree that our world is what we want anyone.  If as this poster says, 'EVERYTHING IS OK', so be it, your world will be as what you said it.  Here's the caveat though.  What you say or what you said may not be factual but sadly, it could be more fiction more than anything else.  And when that happens, it is not too far fetched to anticipate that probably YOUR WORLD GETS SMALLER, no thanks to you though💎💎💎

Whether you think the world you live in is that too big and wide OR too cramped or limiting, it is shaped more by your very own outlook in life.  If living marginally is acceptable to you, you can forget dreaming to live in quite a bigger and probably palatial place.  Whereas, if you continue to hunger for the ultimate success, likely your fate is plotted right on your palms.  But let's not be daydreaming for now💹💹💹

Reality is, a lot of news remain bleak.  When we hear breakups, job loss or even your pet getting sick, that can make it even harder to have hope for the future.  Like the recent years, its been tough.  The aftermath of that cruel pandemic caused almost seven million deaths all over.  Taken altogether, it can all feel incredibly bleak and quite difficult to cope with💊💊💊

So how do we extricate ourselves from a deep hole when our WORLD is GETTING SMALLER?  First and foremost, embrace ACCEPTANCE.  Admit that you're NOT OK.  Listing down all your 'down moments' can be powerful and it becomes practical because you simply can't take care of yourself if you DON'T know what's wrong or what you need⏳⏳⏳

It will also be helpful to remind yourself of everything you're dealing with at the moment.  I lost my job.  I broke off with my partner.  I've been ill off and on.  Putting things in such plain terms can help you put things in perspective too.  Most importantly, you can plot your way forward back, regardless if it will take you 'donkey' years as long as you're able to have that 'TURNAROUND' and reverse that worsening pattern to your favor❗❗❗