Can You Carry Water?

Can You Carry Water?

Oooops you might pause and ask as to why do we need to spend today's piece just about our ability to carry water?  Indeed, it seems just so mundane and simply uninteresting to waste our time on this thread.  But HOLD ON.  Can we at least agree that water is within that short list of most basic needs for us to survive and live life?  With us getting aligned with this baseline, we can take on the next step to agree that learning to carry on the weight of water itself is akin for us to take on the multifarious responsibilities in life.  Oh, while I do envy those born with a silver spoon in their mouth, deeper inside, I really DON'T envy because let's face it, when we DON'T get exposed to the trials and tribulations in life, it deprives us to get exposed and roll up our sleeves to experience the hardship and all the sweats in life.

This explains why people who really live life the hard way get to be developed and trained as LIFE-READY.  "YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO LEARN THE HARD WAY" is probably one snippet of advice that you've heard all too often from well-meaning parents and your close coterie of friends.  BUT here's the BUT.  

Researches suggest that the "HARD WAY"  can at times be a more efficient teacher, and letting students struggle before offering guidance may lead to deeper conceptual understanding and the ability to transfer what was learned to new problems.  This phenomenon hs been dubbed "PRODUCTIVE FAILURE" at the National Institute of Education in Singapore.  The study explained that although it is unlikely that students will be

able to solve problems that require an understanding of concepts they haven't learned yet, the process of generating even an incorrect solution can be productive in preparing students to learn better.  The research study further states that 'FAILURE PROVIDES INFORMATION OF WHAT IS WORKING AND WHAT IS NOT, THEREBY CREATING AN AWARENESS OF WHAT IS MISSING'.

Considering the potential benefits of allowing students to struggle, the study suggests a rather novel approach to teaching and learning, namely 'DESIGNING FOR FAILURE' or in other words, intentionally setting things up so that a learner will need to fail before he succeeds.  Indeed, the HARD WAY to learn carrying water [in life]✅✅✅

Can We Enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'?

Can We Enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'?

Life seems good and indeed life can be damn good if we're on a shopping splurge.  Think of being there at Harrod's in the UK or along Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills.  Or how about the online splurge you have at Amazon's as you keep clicking ADD TO CART till you realized you got to CHECKOUT to consummate the transaction.  But without devaluing all those, how about stepping back in life?  Can We Enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'?

Hey, why are we egging you to Enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'?  Simple and no-brainer.  First off.  Likely it will cost you very little if at all.  In fact, a lot of little things won't cost any.  Yet, think of it.  You will still end up enjoying those cost-free little things as much as those big things which costs you an arm and a leg.  But again, if we're not 'IN SYNC' now, we need to initiate a paradigm shift no less.

Admittedly, we can only blame our increasing purchasing power + that lure of effortless shopping.  You might challenge me again and ask:  Can We REALLY Enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'?  Yes you can, we can but you need to recalibrate yourself.  Cut your umbilical cord that ties you up to anything that's monetized $$$.

You don't even need to fly off to Maldives to enjoy a good holiday.  If you live not so far from the beaches, driving for a couple of hours to get to the beach should not be a hurdle.  Whereas if your domicile is deep within the mountain-side, why not enjoy the lush greeneries of the rain forest?  BTW, last month, I brought my family to a low-budget trip to enjoy being in the rainforest.  So, yes we can enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'.

Or it could be one solitary sunflower which you can enjoy and appreciate all rolled into one.  I remember last month I did a WALK-IN order at a local Shakey's branch and the store supervisor [who has known me as a regular the past years] surprised me by handing over one solitary sunflower alongside all the foodies I ordered and curtly he said, "HAPPY MOTHER's DAY" for your wife.  Oh, at no cost, I ended up going home, surprising my wife with that solitary sunflower.  Yet, you can guess how my wife reacted when I reached home with that solitary sunflower.  Indeed, we CAN still enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'☝☝☝

Whether It's Overt or Covert, BE WATCHFUL

Whether It's Overt or Covert, BE WATCHFUL

This one-liner that got to catch my attention was that Netflix The Blacklist movie wherein American actor James Spader plays as a master criminal turned confidential informant of the FBI wherein he aptly stated that 'THINGS ARE SO CROOKED LIKE THE CORSICAN HIGHWAY'.  What this picture tells us is that indeed, the Corsican Highway is so obviously crooked, period.

So what's in it for us today?  It is to look back into our life when things end up either as OVERT or COVERT.  Either way, we will be likely threading in dangerous waters so it behooves for us to BE WATCHFUL but before diving into that dissection, let's agree how they are defined.  And I'd quote Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's character, Sherlock Holmes: "IT'S SO OVERT. IT'S COVERT".

Unfortunately in life, we were all schooled to look at things as either BLACK or WHITE.  And that old school of thought NEVER prepared us to BE WATCHFUL when BLACK seems WHITE or vice versa.  When we swing over to our zillion personalities across the global village, it is no less mind boggling.  How can we relate to somewhere who looks PURE but may NOT be?  How can we forge a deal with an entrepreneur who seems STRAIGHT but seems SHREWD?  Or let's get into gender itself.  How do we handle someone who tends to consistently project a gender which is nothing less than a farce given his/her innermost gender colors?  How can we FANCY a partner/spouse who seems RESPONSIBLE but in real life, he's damn IRRESPONSIBLE?

Either way, to quote James Spader, when things get so CROOKED LIKE THE CORSICAN HIGHWAY... that's the point we got to BE WATCHFUL down to the last detail which includes every facial expression and body language.  Many times we get too familiar with the 4 D's namely getting DECEIVED, DEFRAUDED, DOUBLE-CROSSED or DUPED all because things became so OVERT, whew. 

To cut the crap, what am I angling here?  Know someone DEEP ENOUGH, way beyond his superficial ways.  Deep dive into a person's innermost recesses and figure out what really drives him/her to be TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. Just DON'T take things at FACE VALUE.  Look for the INTRINSIC VALUE because that will likely lead you to the REAL him/her, down to his/her real, genuine and purposeful intent no less.  When things become so OVERT such that it becomes COVERT, BE WATCHFUL.  Get to know the REAL fish out there❗❗❗

Do Opposites Attract Or Repel?

Do Opposites Attract Or Repel?

Well, do opposites ATTRACT Or REPEL?  This could lead us to a wide open debate because these two schools of thought have been at loggerheads as far back.  Let's start with the traditional definition that when two magnets are together, opposite poles will attract but like poles will repel each other.  Let's swing over to our human-side realities.

To be honest, many of us do get caught and squeezed in between because we tend to listen more to the behavior of magnets.  But hey, I strongly disagree to that dissertation because that just can't be downright applicable to us humans. Not even to birds and animals.  With too many variables in life, there is just NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL because this is more than just X's and O's.  

Truth of the matter, we should not even show our countenance to another person via our body language and all that stuff.  Relationships are NOT this is me and that is you.  Relationships are NOT to pre-define each persona from his or her own silo.  Relationships were NOT meant to be fitted together like nuts and bolts.  But instead, relationships are what it is and for each party to first assess the disparity and disconnect between the two parties.  Where there is a HUGE DIVIDE that is simply impossible to hurdle, let us accept things as where they stand at that point when that HUGE DIVIDE was assessed.  Can you imagine a scion of a billionaire marrying a homeless pauper?

Do we now have the catch word to a fix, if at all?  Yes, it is for a couple or partners to get into the BALANCING ACT.  Even among entrepreneurs, at the start of that 'bright idea', they were all singing the same tunes but after the honeymoon was over, the business partners find themselves in an acrimonious TUG of WAR.

So what's the formula is all coined in the Triple 'A' acronym which becomes an aggregate of ADAPTABILITY + ADJUSTMENTS + ACCEPTANCE. At the start of things, figure out to ADAPT to each other as far as both can.  Where both parties need to ADJUST [and that's a HUGE SACRIFICE], cut the cracp and DO WHAT IT NEEDS TO BE DONE.  Where all cards have been laid down and gaps remain within a relationship, mutual ACCEPTANCE is the last recourse.  I rest my case✅✅✅

What Stalls Us in Life

What Stalls Us in Life

We all love it, driving in the expressways, those interstate highways wherein if you get too locked in with the speed of your driving, you will slip past the interstate exits you need to get to.  But that's highway driving though.  In life, ours is not akin to driving in the freeways.  Instead, it is just not surprising at all when our journey in our life gets stalled.  The bigger question is What Stalls Us in Life

And this is NOT news anymore.  Pandemic does Stall our Life.  That's force majeure and let's not waste our time on that because health issues are quite a steep hurdle to overcome.  Instead, let us 'drill and dice' to figure out when are those times we get stalled and when we could have EKED out.

In Singapore where I resided for so many years, hardly one would exclaim that life there is stalled.  But rather, I'll qualify that maybe life seems stalled because there are rules to follow and comply with.  So, even when we take our meal at a typical hawker's center, if there's a queue, you can't jump over that queue.  You just got to 'TOE THE LINE'.

If we have a common enemy, everything traces back to failed relationships, regardless of the nature of such failed relationships.  And our 'CHINK in our ARMOUR' is that we tend to struggle in moving on from failed relationships.  And that's pitiful.

So what's our fix?  It's spelled M-O-V-I-N-G. Regardless of the impact of a cataclysmic failure in life, we CAN'T GET STUCK in the doldrums.  M-O-V-I-N-G forward is the order of the day regardless of the struggle in standing up after a HARD FALL Bottom-line is: never never let the clock keep ticking with you still down there in the pits.  Word of encouragement is this:  WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO GO BUT UP❗❗❗

When Things Are Beyond Your 'PAY GRADE'

 When Things Are Beyond Your 'PAY GRADE'

Oh this dilemma happens quite often in our life and the catch is that there is NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL because sometimes, it becomes a double-edged sword, like a damn-if-you-do and damn-if-you-DON'T-do thing When Things Are Beyond Your PAY GRADE  In real life, it is very situational.  Sometimes, if it's Beyond Your PAY GRADE, you got to pull the brakes for a full stop whereas sometimes, that Beyond Your PAY GRADE situation offers you that opportunity to be grabbed.

Now, things can become murkier because some scenarios are not as BLACK or WHITE as it should be.  Start off in the workplace where a certain approval needs to be secured before proceeding because the activity seems to have gone beyond scope.  That's when you scream, hey hey hey, sorry folks, we got to wait for the GO Signal from the boss because that's Beyond my PAY GRADE.  Turn things around, your colleague whose job role is unique from yours, calls sick for the day and there's a deliverable.  And it happens you're the backfill.  That's when you kick in and you can't take an exit and excuse yourself because it is Beyond Your PAY GRADE.

Diving into your relationship with your partner/spouse and you receive a request that is not part of the day to day needs, so it's more of a NICE TO HAVE stuff.  How will you handle it?  Will you blurt out that hey hey hey, that's Beyond my PAY GRADE?  Or will you bend and stoop down even if it Beyond your PAY GRADE?  Again, the answers to it are not cast in stone.  Take stock of things. What are the pluses and minuses if you GIVE IN or if you won't.  At the end of the day, it becomes your JUDGMENT CALL and the crux of the matter is that your JUDGMENT CALL has to be PERFECT and no less than that.

Challenge in life is that, much as you want to be fully mature enough to face the crazy world of life's rough and tumble game, there are times when you hit a wall and all that is expected from you is to pull the brakes because had you gone ahead with your own discretion, you can end up on the wrong side of things for usurpation of authority or power.  And when we swing back into your relationships with your BFFs, same algorithm applies.  Nothing is UNLI or INFINITY in nature within your friendships.  There remains concrete walls that CANNOT be breached, domains that CANNOT be transgressed or territories that CANNOT be compromised.  And that's when the intangibles creep in.  Talk about EGO and PRIDE, many relationships that were deems as 'solid rock' just so instantly crumble down, all because EGO and PRIDE got in the way.  Call it COLLATERAL DAMAGE.

Even if we swing back to our school days, the same RULES of ENGAGEMENT apply.  If at Day-1 you thought you're constantly protected with your Teflon-like reputation in school, you need to dig deep into the trenches for you to realize that regardless of your standing in society, you're just about to kickstart your long, arduous journey of travails and tribulations where you need to slog it out.  Regardless of how and where you stand in life today, never lose sight when things go beyond your PAY GRADE✅✅✅

Too Little Too Late

Too Little Too Late

How many times in our life did this happen wherein it became Too Little Too Late?  Like when you wanted to graduate with top honors but before you knew it, it was already the 4th quarter of the academic year?  Like when your relationship was going down and down and by the time you made a move, your partner walked away by then?  Or your business was sinking and by the time you want to revive it, your creditors have filed their legal remedies against your properties and business ?

Without generalizing things, what could be the most 'common culprit' for us to realize that indeed, by the time we make a move, it isToo Little Too Late?  It all boils down to TIME.  NOT because we didn't had time.  NOT because there were conflicting timelines.  NOT because we had zero options.  But likely it's because we all thought we had ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.

Common culprits triggering Too Little Too Late end-games are WRONG information, WRONG facts, WRONG assumptions. WRONG historical basis.  And when you get it all WRONG, we know well the end result and your guess is as good as mine.  It all sums to GARBAGE-IN GARBAGE-OUT because in the very first place, our very raw data, raw information and raw assumptions were all wrong and incorrect.  But this is just one common cause of ending up in Too Little Too Late end games.

Conclusion:  Let's all get our FACTS right.  Unfortunately, NOT all facts are facts per se.  Because there are BAD data.  Because there are INVALID data.  In brief, you need to VALIDATE your data and information before coming up with strategies and plans based on the GIVENs + ASSUMPTIONS.  

If we're in a damn topsy-turvy world now, it is us to blame because these are the results of decisions and actions we have taken in our lifelong journey.  And what's regrettable is when in end games that result in a relationship breakup or in a business collapse, we still come up with the solution that comes in Too Little Too Late❗❗❗

When We're a SPECK OF SAND on the Beach

When We're a SPECK OF SAND on the Beach

Yesirrrrs we're a SPECK OF SAND on the beach, like it or not.  And that's just perfectly fine as we all came from dust anyway.  The $64 challenge we all face in life is how to eke out from all those sand dunes for us not to remain as just specks of sand across those coastal stretches.

Otherwise, we DON'T want to get washed out from the beach each time the waves come rushing because what does that leave of us by then?  In life, we DON'T want to be just another one in that mammoth crowd.  Why?  Because unless you get recognized, you'll end up bereft of even a "China man's" chance to etch your mark whether it be in your workplace, in your community or within your entrepreneurial initiatives.

Assuming we are akin to an islet, even that is not reassuring because islets can be engulfed and before you know, it becomes incognito after the waters eventually engulf it.  Imagine living a life where you're constantly falling aground and fighting off the waves and waters that threaten you towards obliteration.  So how do we handle things in life?  UPSIZE and UPGRADE your existence from simply being another SPECK OF SAND on the beach.   If you're in a new-found relationship, do you want your new partner to [wrongly] think that you're just another SPECK OF SAND?

In concrete terms, what else should we do so we DON'T end up just as another SPECK OF SAND?  First of, DO MORE THAN JUST BY SIMPLY SHOWING UP.  Don't be another DECOR on the WALL.  Ger RECOGNIZED.  How?  JUSTIFY YOUR EXISTENCE.  Prove your mettle.  Be IMPACTFUL beyond what is enough.

If you're in the service industry, you just DON'T deliver the service.  Deliver beyond what is deliverable.  With your loved ones, DON'T just love them for what they're entitled but instead overwhelm them way beyond and above so we DON'T remain as a SPECK OF SAND on the beach❗❗❗

Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix

Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix

Happy and Restful Sunday.  Surely, at some point in our past, we all did get burned and turned into ashes [unless you're in your infancy born yesterday] so I guess we're safe on that. Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix then becomes the talking point because we got to look back how we handled it.

Be it during school days, be it in your past or even present relationships, be it in your work life or be it in your entrepreneurship, let's pause for now and find how did we Rise From the Ashes Like a Phoenix after all?  And surely, you can't believe how you did rise from the ashes.  And I'm cocksure, you're praying that that won't hit you again because even as we speak now, you really DON'T know HOW you managed to wiggle out and survived from that 'life threatening' debacle, figuratively speaking.  But if there is a commonality amongst us, it is RESILIENCE that pushes us damn hard to survive the worst of the worst times in our life.  

Yes, everyone of us are as fragile as feathers.  That's akin to saying that we could be working our ass damn hard in life but when something fatal hits us, we could be like fragile feathers and Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix becomes the same story endured and retold many times across us because that explains why we're still alive and kicking now.

For those in the brink of hitting rock bottom these, not to despair, Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix is not cloaked like a trade secret.  Instead, it all boils down to our RESILIENCE and [intestinal] FORTITUDE to 'weather all storms'.  How do have traits like those?  You got to 'HUNGER' for it, YEARN for it, wanting it, needing it badly in life.

As Carl Sagan, the noted American astronomer has been well quoted "STARS ARE LIKE PHOENIXES, RISING FROM THEIR OWN ASHES. Rising From the Ashes Like a Phoenix".  So why can't we be a celestial body like the stars?  BTW, why does the solar system never run out of stars?  Instead, the next NASA update we'll hear is that another star has been discovered.  Again, it's back to RESILILIENCE and FORTITUDE. If you DON'T have yet these traits, go and develop these as they are NOT innate or inborn.  It's never too late to keep reinventing yourself because that's life is all about.  You just CAN'T and SHOULDN'T live in a STATE of STUPOR.  Go Go Go and continue kicking the dusts in life❗❗❗

BETTER Than BEST

BETTER Than BEST

BETTER Than BEST?  Oh, am I opening Pandora's Box?  Probably because this could lead us to a loud [and maybe] a rowdy debate because surely this is very much debatable but certainly worth our time and worth a page for our blog today.  First off.  Who totally defers from the statement that indeed to be better is much BETTER Than BEST?  Now, let's put things in perspective.  The fastest runners run between 12-14 mph [19-23 kph] while the average bear runs between 30-40 mph [48-64 kph].  That means if a bear decides to give chase, even USAIN BOLT, the world record sprinter, could NOT outrun it.

Where does this contention lead us to?  Well, let's go back to that adage which this poster says that TO GET AWAY FROM A BEAR, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE THE FASTEST RUNNER IN THE WORLD.  YOU JUST NEED TO BE FASTER THAN THE GUY BEHIND YOU.  Simply put, this reinforces our affirmation and assertion that indeed BETTER Than BEST really holds water.  So what's the GOOD NEWS for us all?  We DON'T need to be the best.  We just need to be better.  Moreover, to state 'BEST' is very relative.  In fact and in truth, it is an IMPOSSIBLE STANDARD that simply lacks credibility.  But instead, 'BETTER' is a realistic claim and a much easier comparison to make.  As simple as that.

Last month, I visited my optometrist whose clinic was the very first one I patronized many years back.  Despite that, she uttered that she was driven to offer better service than any of the competition and she wanted to 'OUTDO' her very own great service a year ago.  To her, this seemingly lower claim is actually much more realistic, much more believable and simply much more appealing to me as a customer.  The standard of 'BETTER' also keeps you on your toes.  Like being chased by a bear, you always have to be one step ahead NOT to get eaten.  Thinking you're better means you have to keep pushing, learning and improving because there is always room for improvement .  BTW, being the best offers only a SHORT-TERM advantage.

Listen, dude.  Once you are the BEST, there is no incentive to push you any harder and laziness or hubris start to set in.  And for all those BESTS out there who believe their incentive is to stay the BEST, they are fooling themselves.  WHY?  Just as there is much more of an incentive to lose few pounds than to stay the same weight, just as there is much more of an incentive to run your next race faster than to run it at the same pace, the INCENTIVE TO IMPROVE IS ALWAYS MORE POWERFUL THAN THE FALSE INCENTIVE TO STAY IN ONE PLACE, even if it's the best.

In the past, being GOOD was GOOD ENOUGH !@#$%?  Good grief.  That should be donkey years back.  As society evolved, being GOOD was not even GOOD ENOUGH.  So that's when the rowdy debate being BETTER and being BEST all started.  Having said a mouthful, this piece should put to rest the argument that being BETTER is much better than being BEST✅✅✅