Why Sizzle When Things Fizzle Out

Why Sizzle When Things Fizzle Out

Which happens more often?  Your guess is as good as mine.  We all know that most of the time, things will fizzle out over and over again whereas how often do we sizzle?  As the old cliche goes, 'ONCE IN A BLUE MOON?' What could explain that huge disproportion between SIZZLING when things FIZZLE OUT? Indeed that seems a huge puzzle but it is not.  What is ten times more puzzling is the swiftness when things go from SIZZLING to FIZZLE OUT.  We would hear narratives like... Nothing was wrong with our relationship  We had fun together.  I though we were seeing where things went naturally without any pressure to make anything 'official'.  One day, two weeks of non-communication, things seemed OVER ?!@#$

These days when social media is lording it all over our lives, we need to come into the realization that the disconnect happens much more swiftly and so saddening all because of technology, of our gadgets, of social media.  Even CLOSURES seem a thing of the past.  Instead, social media kicks in.  Messages alerts keep adding up in our social media apps.  But is this fair?

Regardless, if there is one NO-NO.  Let us NOT sulk because that will needlessly kill us.  On the surface, letting communication simply 'flatline' seems lazy and slightly cowardly but it's also a reflection of the low stakes emotional investment that a pair of people have staked in a brief dalliance.  When you've been seeing each other only for a short time, and the texts and phone calls have already begun to wane and peter out, it seems dramatic and slightly narcissistic to pick up the phone and tell someone what they already know.  There is no need to deliver a KILLING BLOW to something that is already dying a natural death.

Psychiatrist studies have shown that rarely two people have exactly the same feelings about what happened, what is happening and what is not speaking means.  This explains why psychiatrists recommend recommend a closure conversation.  Otherwise, can we imagine when someone leaves someone else with the aggrieved party not knowing why the other party ended things.  To say that that is painful may be an understatement.  But the biggest question we need to address is the puzzle how and why things can FIZZLE OUT so quickly?

But rather than waste time to deep-dive on something that is done, why don't we increase our awareness with proactive ways to pre-empt another future failure.  First, ensure the two parties are ALIGNED, which means both parties have the same expectations and commitment.  Second, both parties must be at the same level of READINESS to plunge into that relationship.  Where there is an imbalance, FIZZLING OUT is not far behind.  But when things FIZZLE OUT, that means you got to CUT and CUT CLEAN.  DIVERT your focus.  DIVERT your priorities.  DIVERT your direction [just like a landing aircraft that diverts when the runway does not meet the minimum visibility.  Bottomline is, Sizzle When Things Fizzle Out✅✅✅

Everything That is in the PAST is PAST

Everything That is in the PAST is PAST

Is it true that many of us still get hostaged by our past?  I think so.  I can attest on a first-person basis that many of us [including me in the past] got caught up with our respective past till we realized that we got hostaged inside out.  So, why can't we just bury the past with a shovel and with a trench that is deep enough to cover it beyond oblivion?  So, can we pitch that Everything That is in the PAST is PAST.  Why?  For multifarious reasons, we have to without learning the lessons we absorbed from past failures, past mistakes and even blunders in life.  We just need to agree that everyone of us has a share of the rough and tumble games in life, that we need to admit.

Truth is. the moment we begin to live in the past is the precise moment that we should leave it behind us.  To LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND and drop WHO and WHAT hurt you isn't something that comes easy.  It takes a hell lot of EFFORT, TIME and PATIENCE [+SELF-RESPECT] to keep moving forward.  

Closure is NECESSARY but not always something that's handed out.  Some people are able to push past WHO or WHAT hurt them while others LET IT EAT THEM ALIVE whew.  Accepting what happened for what it is and forcing your mind to focus on other things is a lot easier said than done.  However, LEAVING THE PAST IN THE PAST is undeniably one of the best choices to make.

Frankly, here the arguments why the PAST is PAST.  First, you got to MOVE FORWARD.  If you allow yourself to live in the past and be CONSUMED by what's already done, then you don't give yourself the chance to move on and leave what's in the past TRULY IN THE PAST.  Second, LIFE IS TOO SHORT.  Look, letting the past reside in your head is like letting a SCAB NEVER HEAL.  Letting it not to heal to a point where you keep picking at it, so it keeps re-opening the wound.  Situations and people can only destroy us if we let them.  When life removes somebody or something from your life, if you're able to let it go, then 9 out of 10 you will find that life will replace it with something far bigger and better than you could have ever imagined.

And have your energy spent on a POSITIVE act.  Remember this one-liner: 'GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE'.  This quote is the true example of what you need in your life. Everything That is in the PAST is PAST ✅✅✅

Living Life ON THE EDGE

Living Life ON THE EDGE

Many will blurt, DAMN IT, I just DON'T want to Live Life ON THE EDGE !@#$?  Obviously, inside out, living on the edge implies you seem to live a perilous and high-risk life, a life where you seem to be at the precipice of danger, of failure, of fatally hitting the wall.  And if we want to live a conservative life, all that could matter to us are all the basics in life, having basic food and shelter.  But where does that bring you?  Not far, dude.  In fact, you would hardly move forward with that mindset because it seems then that basic survival for you is all that matters.  But hey, do you deserve to live a life that way?  Sans things that matter most in life, the rewards, the achievements, can we then justify that our life is worth living simply on the premise that we DON'T Live Life ON THE EDGE !@#$?  

Yes we all agree that risks will abound and will be all over you when you Live Life ON THE EDGE but hey, that doesn't mean you are living in hell.  Instead, when you Live Life ON THE EDGE, you will get the best views, the best vantage points to look far ahead the rewards for your picking but which picking will only get ripe when you deserve to reap those fruits.

You might have a challenge question in mind.  Will you be able to BACK OFF?  Of course you can.  You got the whole nine yards behind you to BACK OFF but are you one to BACK OFF if you are at the precipice of grasping your goals within your reach?  So what is expected of you when you Live Life ON THE EDGE?  You got to be RAZOR-SHARP no less.  Swing over to the NBA 2022 Playoffs.  All the playoff teams in the post season badly want a 'W' with Game 1.  Why?  Because they got to have that EDGE.

We have witnessed so many success stories and I'd admit all their narratives are jaw dropping.  If there is a key factor to live life on the edge, it is MOTIVATION.  You need to be your very own MOTIVATOR to achieve those goals you have tried so hard for.  If you were on a cliff right now, at this very moment, and you had the opportunity to fly, would you?  Of course, you would.  You would because you have nothing holding you back.  Because you believe that fate will take you where you need to be taken.

In our life, you will go through hardships, that's a given.  And during those moments, you would feel like life is tumbling in a huge downward spiral.  You'll feel like you have reached your breaking point.  Allow that to be your biggest motivator on seeing that view you have longed for because the view truly is so worth every possible obstacle that you will overcome in life.  Remember WE ARE WHAT WE THINK.  So, let's view life as a mountain and assuming you are at your lowest point of the mountain now, what we need to do is to LOOK UP.  And LOOK UP at all the WHAT IFs.  Let's start climbing to that peak in your life✅✅✅

It's NEVER Outlandish to DREAM BIG

It's NEVER Outlandish to DREAM BIG

Who says it's Outlandish to DREAM BIG when we are all egging everyone to really DREAM BIG in terms of its impact to our life not just for today but for our family's future no less.  Too bad some of us are STILL held back by the influence of the 'old school' which tells us to be tempered.

But how often have we heard of someone NOT dreaming at all and yet hitting pay dirt and BIGTIME?  If that happened, statistics will prove that those are outliers as data will show that less than 0.001% ever happen under those circumstances.  Instead, the most widely accepted equation still tells us that BIG dreams equate to BIG results no less.  

I remember my high school buddy [who was our perennial class salutatorian [because someone else we dubbed as our class genius was a perennial valedictorian].  My buddy always reminded me:  IF YOU AIM FOR THE SKY, IF YOU FAIL, YOU WILL FALL ON THE TREE TOP.  IF YOU AIM FOR THE TREE TOP, IF YOU FAIL, YOU WILL FALL ON THE GROUND.

So, WHAT exactly are our shortfalls?  To be brutally frank, we're so brainwashed by the impossibility of dreams, discouraging us to dream for those IMPOSSIBLE DREAMS unless you are CRAZY@#$%?  But that is HOGWASH because on the contrary, we have seen stories of failed lives simply because they [wrongly] thought that they should NOT be crazy enough to DREAM BIG because they all their efforts will become futile, because all their spent energies will just be that, spent.

Heard of that glass ceiling?  That's the UPPER LIMIT of how far and high we can reach and go.  But how would you know your UPPER LIMIT unless and until you have aimed for the moon and the stars.  Let's face it.  If your aim is to jump six inches high, you could probably jump seven inches but if you'll aim to jump six feet, you may fail but you could probably jump between four to five feet.  Let's DREAM BIG dude ❗❗❗

Have You Stopped Asking WHY?

Have You Stopped Asking WHY?

Happy Easter to all.  BTW, Have You Stopped Asking WHY?  Good question.  I'd safely guess many [most of us anyway] have tapered off from asking WHY?  WHY did I err?  WHY I did my task fail?  WHY did my relationship hit the rough patches?  WHY did I lost my luster with my bosses at work?  WHY did I squander all the goodwill given to me so I can achieve my goals?  WHY am I not getting the guidance I deserve?

In fact and in truth, we should be that inquisitive, questioning everything, even when we succeed and achieve.  You might wonder WHY do we need to QUESTION EVERYTHING even if our locomotive train keeps its chug chug chug momentum, even if everything seems to end in our favor?  It's all because of POST-MORTEM.  Regardless to which side you ended up, initiating a POST-MORTEM leads you to lessons, both the positive ones and the difficult ones that are difficult to swallow.

Let's gloss over the tons of failed stories we witnessed over and over again.  WHY do the same mistakes happen again?  WHY do we commit the same blunders again? WHY do the same failures repeat by itself again and again?  Simple.  No one seems to be aware to initiate a POST-MORTEM. When that is a huge miss if we are not doing it at all because during post-mortems, it covers from end-to-end, those that happened rightly and wrongly are both assessed.  And with the lessons learnt, that guides you to mitigate those pitfalls so you DON'T fall on those trenches again and again.

 And this leads us to CRITICAL THINKING, that reasonable and reflective thinking that is focused on deciding what to believe or do.  Simply put, it means deciding on what's TRUE and WHAT you should do.  CRITICAL THINKING retools us and equips us to come up with better decision-making.  And history itself is peppered with famous persons noted for their CRITICAL THINKING.  Albert Einstein.  Charles Darwin.  Isaac Newton.  Martin Luther King and just one too many.  And this runs parallel to our need to enhance our problem solving skills as those with CRITICAL THINKING tend to solve problems as part of their natural instinct.  Critical thinkers are damn patient

 So you can ask, how can we be a CRITICAL THINKER? Primero, DEFINE YOUR QUESTION.  DON'T be vague and ambiguous.  In fact, you MUST KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW.  Segundo, collate reliable and vetted data and information.  DON'T fall prey on fake info.  Tercero, always ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS.  It all boils down to thinking CLEARLY and talking CLEARLY.  Quarto, when coming up with solutions, always look at things both the short-term and the long-term consequences before reaching a decision.  Both of them are significant variables in the equation. And lastly, NEVER STOP exploring all sides.  There is never just one simple answer and nothing is black or white.  Explore all options and THINK OUTSIDE the BOX before you conclude.  In a nutshell,  NEVER stop asking WHY✅✅✅

Are Your EARS CLOSEST to the GROUND?

Are Your EARS CLOSEST to the GROUND?

Is it worth our time today to discuss our ability to listen?  I plead, YES PLEASE.  Despite the fact that we are all gifted with that LISTENING ability, a plurality [if not a majority] of us are remiss [if not guilty] of not using up to the hilt our ability to LISTEN.  Unless your EARS are CLOSEST to the GROUND, there is always a likelihood that you may miss ADVISORIES, ALERTS, PERILS, RISKS, THREATS, WARNINGS and worse, you may miss expressions of LOVE & WARMTH in your relationships.  And the mother of all the worst things you'll miss will be tons and tons of OPPORTUNITIES in life.  Note that opportunities MISSED are opportunities LOST.  That is not just a fact but that should be part of our human credo.

Throw in today's technology and the zillions of gadgets hovering all over you, you end up in a frenzied pandemonium. Seemingly LOST, BEFUDDLED and just out of control of what's going on in your life.  How often have we seen family members so hostaged with gadgets and yet when he gets SCREAMED at for NOT listening, he'll scream back YES I'M LISTENING ?!@#$

This is our dilemma today.  How many of us really endeavor to ACTIVELY LISTEN?  Many would even be so damn stubborn NOT to reduce the volume of their gadgets and yet they have the temerity to scream back "YES I'M LISTENING" ?!@#$  It is a pity we seem to have lost appreciating the gap between ACTIVE vs PASSIVE listening.

So, in the simplest terms, what exactly does ACTIVE LISTENING mean?  In layman's terms, it is as simple as EXTENDING YOUR ANTENNA so that you can get alerted of an incoming train or a looming opportunity.  Hey, i'll pre-empt you if you argue that opportunities are ADVERTISED.  Yes you are right and wrong because by the time the opportunities get ADVERTISED, those opportunities have dissipated in thin air, whew.

And how popular are drones these days?  They are that popular such that even people with less education know it like the palm of their hands because drones may lead them to either an ALERT or an OPPORTUNITY.  So now, do I win you over to keep your EARS CLOSEST to the GROUND❓❓❓

Aiming For a Spot @Mount Rushmore?

Aiming For a Spot @Mount Rushmore?

Aiming For a Spot @Mount Rushmore?  That's NOT a bad idea to aim for.  Aiming for a spot at that historical national memorial @South Dakota would have made you a laughingstock fifty or more years ago.  Today, however, looking at the landscape, there is room for a fifth face and that could be YOU [alongside famous American Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.  Of course, the immediate reaction you'll get is: 'ARE YOU CRAZY'?

No sirssssss, it's NEVER crazy to dream having your place [or at the very least aiming for a spot @Mount Rushmore?  Why?  That historical monument should serve as an inspiration to humanity [yes sirrrrrs, NOT just to Americans] because each of these presidents etched a place in history under difficult circumstances.

Now, to lighten up our discussion, let's get away from that pensive mood cracking our brains how a non-American like me can even dream [CRAZILY'] to have a spot @Mount Rushmore.  Now for trivia, do you know how the flip side of Mount Rushmore looks like?

Now for fun facts.  This is the backside of Mount Rushmore.  NOT BAD.  What this magnifies and tells us is that although the former American Presidents are historical figures in their own right, they are all JUST HUMANS.  There is always the human side in them.  And this brings me back full circle, egging us all to AT THE VERY LEAST to dream and aim for a figurative spot @Mount Rushmore.  And we can accomplish it within our respective lives but eventually reaching the zenith as our commonality. 

Oh, I'd like to quote Elon Musk, the 'ultra mega' successful American billionaire brutally saying: "NO, I DON'T EVER GIVE UP.  I'D HAVE TO BE DEAD OR COMPLETELY INCAPACITATED".  Whew!  That was a mouthful to munch and digest.  In the simplest terms, what he meant, once he aims to achieve something, he'll NEVER STOP till he achieves it [even if he fails over and over again, if you get to know the story behind his SpaceX venture which costs him several billions of $$$ in failed attempts].  Back to our lives, it shouldn't be a HARD SELL for us to digest [and hopefully] translate into concrete action these Elon Musk's compelling words.

Now, what is it 1% DO [to SUCCEED] and 99% of us DON'T do [to FAIL].  #1 TAKE ADVANTAGE of INTRODUCTIONS.  Top people never miss out on this because some intro's may to lead to future opportunities.  #2 CONSIDER THE LITTLE THINGS.  Many times I remember meeting a CxO-level guy for the Nth time and he would ask me like, "HOW WAS YOUR PROJECT in INDIA?" [when he's got nothing to do with it].  #3 CONSISTENTLY READ/LEARN.  That NEVER STOPS in life.  #4 DON'T FORGET to SET GOALS and SURROUND YOURSELF with other GREAT people.  This is NOT to look down on people but ask yourself, if you spend the hours of idle time with kibitzers, busybodies, gazers intruders, peepers, snoopers.  Think of your LOST opportunities to hear and even learn of sensible things relevant to your life [instead of 'senseless stuff'].  Oh, DONT forget to aim for a spot @Mount Rushmore❗❗❗

Start With One Foot in the Door

Start With One Foot in the Door

Generally speaking, life in itself has been a fair play for everyone.  The good faith that always prevails is to level the playing field.  Whether we're referring to families or organizations, nothing differs.  We are all given EQUAL CHANCES at the starting line.  Parents would preach the best for their children.  Bosses at the workplace would encourage everyone to be on the same page.  In competitive sports, every single iota of detail is checked and rechecked.  See those WBA/WBC title fights where down to the gloves and the hand taping are checked by all protagonists to ensure there is fair play right when the bell starts the bout within the boxing ring.

Then, what ensues is that things seem to have happened so fast with one boxer peppering his adversary with a flurry of punches right on the early rounds.  And that leads him to gain that momentum to win the fight.  Does these scenarios look familiar to you?  Those times when you thought you had all the time in the world until you realized belatedly that it's ending up with you doing a 'catching up', rallying because you seem to be 'eating the dust from behind.  So, shouldn't we start with one foot in the door?

The illusion of catching up goes like this:  If I take a full day, weekend or week and abandon all the things I enjoy doing, I can get everything done that I feel guilty about not doing before.  Then I will feel better and everything will be complete.  The REALITY is that CATCHING UP NEVER ENDS.  There will always be more.  But these days, there are culprits that seem to be dragging us, pulling us behind.  You gotta detect these 'CULPRITS'.

Go to social media.  The more you post, the more you receive comments and reactions.  With emails, the more you send, the more you receive.  Last night, I was kind of 'cleaning up' my mails until I unearthed one mail after another.  That only delayed my machine shutdown by another two hours.  Now, if we are in a rat race [which we are], those two hours should be a major setback for me.  Time squandered, if you may.

Another irony that's causing us more to be left behind is this human nature that tells us staying up late to catch up on things will work against you, against us.  Why?  You just CAN'T sleep an extra three hours on a Saturday to make up for the sleep you lost the night before.  Instead, if you routinely go to sleep and wake up at a similar time, you will be more ALERT, more FOCUSED and more EFFECTIVE.  That's starting with one foot in the door by then❗❗❗

Life Means Fighting Your Way UP

Life Means Fighting Your Way UP

Hell, how can things be lifeless when we got a full life ahead of us?  It's NOT as if we sprung out on this planet comatose.  Instead, we were all born with bags full of hope being nursed first by our very own parents.  What is deflating to hear is when people we know would hit the wall and end up as an utter failure. All along, life means fighting your way UP.

Our lives are incomparably much easier when compared with the lives of our ancestors.  Most of us today DON'T even have to imagine what it would be like to hunt for our own food, grow our own crops, tend to a fire OR [worst of all] entertain ourselves without all the gadgets all over our place these days.  In fact, we now live in the SAFEST and MOST PEACEFUL times in human history [barring something cataclysmic happens] down the road.

Truth is, even when we are idle, we all can afford to be daydreaming.  So, life has never been this better and easier.  Yet, it pains me to see and know that many still fail.  Why oh why.  What is the jinx that's leading us to that deep abyss?  Even in the western world where the average life is already considered affluent as compared to the Third World, why do we still hear a surge of depression?  Just one too many struggles in life are happening around us.  

And if we swing over to the Third World, life is that miserable day-in day-out.  People struggle and live way below the poverty line.  Me thinks, all these are a product of our complacency straight from our childhood.  Probably, we didn't see the role models that should have been our guide in our future.  And maybe, we were just following the footsteps of our previous generations, even if it means that their previous footsteps got it all wrong.  Where will we ever end if we continue to be caught up with this vicious cycle of sufferings and endless sights of poverty by the impoverished, the least fortunate?

C'mon, are we all living and breathing simply to survive?  Can't we enjoy life, feel the beauty around us?  Earlier in my life, if I was told that HAPPINESS is a choice, I would have laughed it off.  And I might call you simply CRAZY.  After all, no one chooses to experience things like pain of low self-esteem, anxiety or worst, depression.  What I've come to realize later is that HAPPINESS isn't about leading an obstacle-free life but instead, it's all about LEARNING how to change what you focus on and how you react to circumstances regardless whether they're good or bad.  And, nothing wrong for you to realize that life means fighting your way UP✅✅✅

Is Being LATE Really LATE?

Is Being LATE Really LATE?

Is Being LATE Really LATE?  For multiple reasons, I beg to defer with that articulation because in life, there is really nothing as LATE.  Blame it on the man-made clocks, watches and calendars because it led us humans to wrongly think that everything in life has a DEADLINE!  Have we heard someone graduating from high school at 40?  Or someone finally graduating from the university at 50?  Or someone landing his first full-time job when he was nearing middle age?  Or a newly wed couple whose ages are way past middle age and yet they would become proud parents of their first-born baby?  So, being LATE is NOT really LATE!

Heard of someone fretting because he finally got his first brand-new car only when he hit 30? Or a couple not too proud because they finally found their own home quite late in life?  And the truth is, if we are so focused with timelines for the sake of timelines, can you just take the plunge for a specific endeavor if you are not ready enough?  That just dooms you to fail at the very start.

Which reminds me of that children's story about those 3 little pigs who each rushed to build their own houses but when the big bad wolf comes down swooping, the houses built of straw and sticks all crumbled quickly whereas the house built out of bricks remained standing.  And this brings us back one full circle.  In life, we all want things done quickly to see the results and everyone's guilty of this [including myself].  In this fast-paced environment, we've driven a mentality driven by the idea that time is money and every second lost is an opportunity wasted.

With everything rushed, we're used to taking the EASY WAY OUT by building our own houses out of straws and sticks and voila, you would see immediate results.  And when there are roof leaks and the like, we feel it's NO BIG DEAL because we can easily patch it.  In that story of the 3 pigs, only the third pig with that brick home did foresee that he will need to be able to weather through winds and storms ahead.  Can't we be like that third pig or like these plants who are NOT misguided that Being LATE Really LATE✅✅✅