When Things Are Hanging on by a Thread

When Things Are Hanging on by a Thread

So sorry, this is not a horror story but rather, we'd like to focus on those instances in our life WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD.  And it is not at all embarassing for us to admit that at some points in our lives, we did experience it WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD.  Remember the points in life when all it takes is another tick of the clock, and everything will just snap off.  Remember those moments when you were already holding the white flag and not by choice, you thought you had no option but to throw in the towel and raise the white flag.

Yes, those times in our life is no less than a nightmare.  I was in that 'foxhole' before and I admit that I'm so scared to death, even as it continues to haunt me because I admit dreading getting back into that 'foxhole' crisis.  Why ?  Because I honestly can't guarantee that I'll be able to extricate myself from that deep morass.  Why ?  Because I just can't guarantee that I'll be able to [successfully] replicate all over again that case of 'rising from the dead', so to speak.  So, if you wanna ask me why should we devout this piece WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD, it's because as much as we want to ignore that past, as it is in life, we really do not have a good handle of the future.  There's no way we can control the future except anticipate how things will unroll as we continue our life journey.

WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD, we are then in 'SURVIVAL MODE' but of all things, we need to ask ourselves, how do we detect that indeed we are in that 'SURVIVAL MODE' ?  Here we go.

• WHEN everything seems URGENT
• WHEN your back is AGAINST THE WALL
• WHEN things you need to happen do NOT HAPPEN
• WHEN those who can help you are in CRISIS MODE too
• WHEN STRESS LEVELS seem to be at an all-time high
• WHEN EVERY NEXT DAY YOU DREAD to come 
• WHEN you are reactive instead of proactive 
• WHEN anything and everything is always AT RISK
• WHEN GOOD ENOUGH is enough instead of EXCELLING
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What are the NO-NOs WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD ?

NEVER throw in the towel

NEVER raise the white flag

NEVER forget the efforts you have exerted to date

NEVER mince the sacrifices you endured in the past

NEVER deflate your chances to succeed even till to date

Now, taking your life back is what we need to do WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD.  How ?  DON'T control everything around you, that's counter-intuitive.  And as you are in the crossroads, CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT and make a firm decision.  And at this point, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY because it is up to you to create the life you deserve.  And lastly, LIVE YOUR LIFE.  Remember, your life is speeding.  DON'T just ride in it.  DRIVE IT.❗❗❗

Once You Fall Off the Wagon

Once You Fall Off the Wagon

In life, we trek and traverse thousands and thousands of miles, careful not to just fall off along the way but again, it happens, one day we will fall off.  But in real life, that is least surprising, right ?  Because, such is life, we rise and fall.  So, what's the fuzz then why this is becomes the subject of our piece today ?  It's not because it does happen but it's more because how it really impacts our life when we fall off the wagon.

Ouch, yes it's true, when we fall off the wagon, it's not painless.  In fact, it's not just an 'ouch' thing but instead, it impacts us from various perspective in our life:

• 'coz we lose the momentum by then
• 'coz that setback impacts our plan
• 'coz sometimes we're back to square1
• 'coz it causes confusion to our plan
• 'coz at times it affects our motivation
• 'coz often it demoralizes us in our plan
• 'coz we treat falling down as a failure

Now, let me play devil's advocate here.  While where possible, no one wants to fall off the wagon, when it does, accept it because there's an upside to it.  FALLING OFF awakens us.  FALLING OFF alerts us.  FALLING OFF gives us the chance to rectify things way ahead before a problem is beyond fixing.  In fact, FALLING OFF strengthens our resolve to move forward.

If at all, if there's anything that should not be impacted when you fall off from your wagon, it is your CONFIDENCE.  That can't be crushed.  It should not crumble at all because that's part of your very CORE.  Warriors and fighters would always in constant search of the opponent's chink in his armor and more often, they are looking where to locate the very CORE of one's CONFIDENCE.

Instead, pick up the pieces fast and quick.  You can't stay slumbering there because you would be raising against time.  Remember the tons of effort and sacrifices you have poured out and you don't want it all to end up as utter wastage if you just don't get back to your feet. Pronto dude❗❗❗

When Words Are Parsed

When Words Are Parsed

In life, practically almost everything with value is indeed valued.  We could rattle off starting with assets down to jobs down to relationships.  But WORDS ?  Hardly and rarely, to be honest.  In fact, most of us, at some points in our lives we did devalue the importance of WORDS.  That explains why people are parsing and dissecting WORDS based on what they want to hear and nothing else.  Then, kaboom !  Conflicts arise !

This is spot on.  WORDS ARE TOOLS and they are that powerful, enough to make or unmake relationships and even lives.  That is the extent as to how words can be impactful.  While a lot of relationships were built and conceived with the POWER of WORDS, on the same breadth, a lot of those previously healthy relationships ended by shattered and wrecked.  Why ?  Studies show that 90% of those ill-fated relationships were ravaged and ruins by the sheer POWER of WORDS, but this time around, words were twisted and parsed against each of the protagonists in a conflict.

How words get parsed and later twisted, a hell lot of those bitter situations were just exacerbated by small EMOTIONS that later on erupted into volcanic EMOTIONS !  And the ultimate culprit ?  Unfortunately, it's not really the WORDS but rather we always end up as the culprit when we end up losing control of WORDS itself

Like a two-sided coin, WORDS have the energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.  The words we choose and how we use them can build others up or tear them down.  The WORD POWER carries different meanings in different contexts yet they all have the underlying ability to influence.

How are we using such powerful weapon so carelessly ?  How is that when some of us are quite 'merciless' and cold-hearted that give themselves the right to toy with people's emotions Why are nice and kind words seem to get scarce these days ?  And that probably explains why we feel amazed when we meet a genuinely amiable person?  So, that's it, let's be Xtra cautious when words are parsed✅✅✅

DON'T Be A Dinosaur [because it may mean you're 'extinct']

DON'T Be A Dinosaur [because it may mean you're 'EXTINCT']

Not literally but not too long ago, 'dinosaurs' [and probably 'monsters' too] were very much part and parcel of the daily setting.  Remember our early school days when we were so scared with a bespectacled fierce-looking teacher who, during classes, was fiercer than her looks ?  Remember the school Prefect of Discipline who was the most dreaded person in school simply by his title ?

The thing is, nowadays, dinosaurs DON'T look like dinosaurs anymore.  They can be those sweet-looking fellas, that approachable classmate, that amiable work colleague, that easy-to-deal with business associate or it could be ourselves not to our awareness though.  Yes, while most of the time people are conscious once they start to wear the hat of a monster, there are times when we are so immersed in a situation to the extent that we're not aware that we're acting and/or manifesting behaviors that may be akin to a dinosaur's.

Think about it, even in a worst case scenario, people don't really turn into a 'dinosaur' overnight.  Even evolving from good to bad to worse etcetera really takes time and that takes years and sometimes a decade or two.  So what's our antidote so that we don't wake up one day and get shocked that things went 'down south' as we evolved ?  Take a one-minute break and face the mirror and run a quick pulse check of yourself.  And if you find yourself with that semblance of a 'monster', it's never late to rectify things.  Better late than never, as the cliche goes.

Oh yes, a common casualty in this detestable 'monster' syndrome are our relationships with our loved ones, our partners/spouse, our kids and it even stretches down to our relationships with our relatives and friends.  Ooops, I am NOT alluding that many of us do eventually turn up as 'monsters' causing relationships to weaken or even crumble.  Fact is, feelings change so what do we do?  Take that CONSCIOUS + CONSTANT effort to always reinforce your relationships.

But the most mind-boggling question is that why is it in life, when things are nice and dandy, why do things GO SOUTH ?  But do note that the plurality of things still show us that "IT'S ALL QUITE IN THE WESTERN FRONT", which is music to our ears.  All these really boil down for us to get this deeply embedded within us, that indeed "THERE's ALWAYS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT".  BTW, not as a threat but if you don't have the buy-in for this mindset, I worry for you if things may go sour, things may GO SOUTH.  Again, to be forewarned is to be forearmed.✅✅✅

Pool Your Breadcrumbs

Pool Your Breadcrumbs

Everyone thinks of breadcrumbs as breadcrumbs and indeed it is BUT there's a long view of it though.  Those breadcrumbs could actually shape things to fruition or failure.  And I myself I didn't realize that, not until after so many years of ignoring it.  And it is a realization that's earthshaking at the very least because of its impact to our lives.  

Not a commercial pitch for Panko breadcrumbs but this is reality.  Even breadcrumbs have effectiveky encroached and invaded our local markets not for exploiting the market itself but simply because the market confirms the value of breadcrumbs. Even in life, we need to realize that breadcrumbs should NOT be swept away, NOT anymore. If you simply gather all those negligible quantities of breadcrumbs, over it [or in no time at all]. it could be that material and tangible enough for your needs.

Let's buckle down in life.  People you know could be manifesting in good faith their small-small intentions so, first things first, please DON'T shrug it off, DON'T shun it off.  Thing it, always take it with a grain of salt and like a glass with half-water, by default, look at it as half-full and NOT half-empty.  True in most cases, people are motivated to do things but if that is not adversarial and antagonistic, you need to take it at the very least in a neutral manner.  BUT, better still, take those l'il l'il things in good faith so that eventually, goodwill will build up along the way.

Goodwill is all that matters. In relationships. At work.  In school.  In business.  All these are the sum of lots of moving pieces and the glue that binds all those moving pieces is nothing less than goodwill.  You can be the best worker and you can have the best boss but if goodwill is not something you mutually share, that working relationship will eventually sour till it crumbles.  In our relationships, there you go.  You got married and raise your family but to go through those years, goodwill should have been built between the couple. In a planned startup business,  you go to bank lenders but do you think they will lend you that startup capital if the goodwill is not yet there ?

Voila, here's what we got, not just food on the table but scrumptious Italian Breadcrumbs so that's we reap when we pool all those breadcrumbs.  So, folks, whether at home in your relationships with your loved ones, your relationship with your work colleagues, your schoolmates in the academe or if you're an entrepreneur then both your suppliers and clients, please factor-in things down to the last breadcrumbs, keep it and build on it 💛💜💚

Never Trip Over Your Own Feet

Never Trip Over Your Own Feet

Who trips over their own feet ?  Well, of course everyone of us did trip over our own feet at various points in our lives but is that fine and normal ? Yes AS LONG AS you don't trip over your own feet over and over again because that will doom you. Whereas birds ?  How come they NEVER EVER trip over their own feet ?  

Oh yes, it's pardonable when toddlers do trip OVER and OVER again.  But us adults ?  It's just indeed mind boggling why for some of us [hey, in the past, I'll admit that I did trip over my own feet over and over again, so I'm NOT cleaning up myself here] do trip over our own feet OVER and OVER again ?  Are we dumbbells or simply nitwits ?  Or to be blunt, are we just jerks or is this all about stupidity ?  For the benefit of the doubt, for the sake of argument, let's just say "it's all of the above".  But what's really troubling is that the same story seems to repeat itself across our lives ?  Is it just because we're unshakeable ?  Or is it being STUBBORN?

Now, let me share my observations which are first person accounts.  A lot of us are obligingly blind if and when we do trip over our own feet.  We just shrug it off.  We just shy it off.  Curtly, we seem to ignore it.  But the worst shortfall is that by seeming ignorance, we miss out that we end up as the sore loser on all fronts either because we don't see lessons in it or we wrongly misguided ourselves in believing that tripping over our own feet is indeed worth ignoring and a non-issue !@#$%?  Good grief.

And that's the worst crime one can ever self-inflict !  And for the mother of all worst crimes, the self-inflicted ones largely remained unnoticed and unacted upon simply because it was pooh-poohed and give that cold shoulder by no less than you, me or us.  BTW when one looks the other way around, things get unnoticed.  And that will be a double-whammy when one turns a blind eye and a deaf ear.  Look back into our lives when we did trip over our feet and we tripped again, don't we agree that if the first tripping can be given ignored, the second tripping did cause some tremors and impact within you ?  Didn't we see the handwriting on the wall ?

Oh yes, I can't agree more with this poster that says 'IT TAKES SKILL TO TRIP OVER FLAT SURFACES' !@#$ But hey, this is more than just taunting or mockery if one did tell me this one-liner because tripping over flat surfaces is aking to tripping over your own feet !  What lessons do we pick from this piece ?  NEVER ignore every misstep or mistake we commit even if they're petty.  NEVER fail to tie loose ends so that it does not recur.  NEVER fail to pick up lessons from each 'self-tripping'.  NEVER fail to rectify each of those hard lessons learned.  NEVER fail to remind yourself that nothing is petty at all NEVER fail to wake yourself up when you're 'off track.  NEVER fail to be tough on yourself so you DON'T TRIP OVER YOUR OWN FEET [all over again] ❗❗❗

Those Slippery Slopes

Those Slippery Slopes

Yes sirs, we don't live in level rolling plains.  Instead, we go through various terrains to test our mettle but more than that, more often, we are constantly trekking up in slopes.  But here's the catch though.  Most of those slopes are not dry and firm enough for us to grip.  Instead, most of those slopes are too slippery at any given time.  And what's the catch when going up those slippery slopes ?  Once we slip down, more often it would set us back not just a step back but multiple steps back.  If you're trekking Mount Everest, that could mean throwing you back to base camp.

The thing is, life itself is already that slippery slope we all dread.  So what does it take for us to counter the slippery slopes in life ?  You don't have to be ruthless or cold-blooded to succeed in the world today.  Success does NOT require talent, good looks or inherited wealth either.  In fact, all success really requires is a determined mind that is committed to persist despite all challenges that may come your way.

In short, once you slip, persistence is all that matters.  Now the inverse is also true.  A lack of persistence is one of the best ways to guarantee failure in any endeavor you undertake.  But we are not here to see you fail.  Note that we are made to persist.  That's how we find out who we are.

How long should we try ?  Until when ?  Well, you gotta press on.  Nothing in the world can stop your persistence.  Permanence, perseverance and persistence, inspite of all obstacles. discouragement and impossibilities, it is this that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.  I'd like to quote Buddha's most quotable quote: 'in the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins, not through strength but through persistence.

But as slipping down or getting thrown out from the slopes is sometimes inevitable, how should you prepare for such inevitabilities ?  Prepare for contingencies.  If it's all about your health, neven run out of your nutrients.  If it's your financials, you got to maintain that 'piggy back' which you'll crack up if needed,  Never get caught flatfooted because that could be your worst downfall which can be cushioned❗❗❗

Go 'OFF THE GRID'

 Go 'OFF THE GRID'

Being part of the mainstream has always been our comfort zone.   Be it in the latest social media buzz or the latest fashion fad or even the places most people go to dine out, conventional wisdom dictates that the majority can't just go wrong. Oh well, its aye for me in most cases but it can't be true through and through though.

How many times have you seen either a couple or bff's going out for dinner and out there, both are just so engrossed with social media, so oblivious that they have company for that dine-out.  Does this not defeat the very purpose of going out ?  To bond during your common spare window ?  Instead, each is in his/her own silo, not until the food gets served.  What happens next is as good as your guess.  They end up to 'EAT and RUN'.

Wall clocks anyone ?  Nope, that's a thing of the past BUT having said that this is the time to declare that we ourselves have become hostages to every tick of the clock.  And didn't you realize, for most of us, the last thing we touch base before shutting off our eyes is social media and come next morning, that's the very first stuff we make ourselves busy.  Didn't we realize that. subtly, we're ending up hostaged by the clock time ?

Heard of stories where an ambitious fellow did heed the advice of folks around him as he was overly ambitious to reach his 'promised land' the soonest with the least effort ?  And when he was finally atop that heap of fallacies and fantasies, he realized he was literally lost in the trail after he did heed the advice of all the people around him.  The harsh reality in life is that people are generally opinionated.  If there are ten folks around you, rest assured you will receive ten inputs that will lead you more dizzy and puzzled.  Have you approached someone to seek advice and you were curtly snobbed ?  Very hardly and rarely, at all.

Good enough, most of us know what we want.  And I guess, if we share any commonality, it's that dream to live an ideal life.  So, why don't we consider sometimes to go 'OFF THE GRID', sans social media, sans those apps, sans the kibitzers around you, sans the distractions within your periphery ?  Because we are entitled to our own Nirvana, that state of PERFECT QUIETUDE, FREEDOM, HIGHEST HAPPINESS and our liberation from worldly suffering❗❗❗

Can We Extend Our 'FLASH BULB' Moments ?

Can We Extend Our 'FLASH BULB' Moments ?

Anyone who had those 'FLASH BULB' moments ?  Surely, each one of us had our fair share of 'FLASH BULB' moments.  In fact, we all had one too many of those moments where we were basking in the light of those moments when everything was going right for us, when there were no missteps, when lady luck was with us through and through.  But the bigger question is, did we capitalize well enough to the hilt those 'feel good' moments when you are lady luck's favorite and when you were on a winning streak or someone wearing teflon jackets such that nothing bad will hit you regardless of what steps you take ?

When the stars are aligned, those are the moments when you achieved a milestone success albeit not a major one.  OR that's when you were able to grab low hanging fruits and suddenly, an unknown player in the organization gets known.  OR that could be a minor breakthrough in business when you were able to find a very strategic location for a business location where you can expand your operations.  OR that could be those moments when, for the longest time, your relationship with your in-laws were historically strained, not until one day they woke up with the realization that you are not that bad, after all !

Indeed we had 'flashes in the pan' and as it says, it remains as such, those moments don't linger far and beyond but remember those are part of your 'FLASH BULB' moments as well so it pays that you capitalize [and need be, stretch it far enough].  Why do we need to piggy-back even on those 'flashes in the pan' ?  It's because we need to create that onrush of energy that translates to MOMENTUM.  Once we do gain traction in our MOMENTUM, more often, you'll be on your winning streak till it gets snapped.  Why do the lucky ones get luckier ?  Why are the success stories keep adding up their success stories ?  Hmm, primarily, it's because they managed to create that momentum and that keeps them going till they lose steam.

Do we agree here that the world loves WINNERS more than LOSERS, SUCCESSES more than FAILURES ? It's because winners and success stories all have the 'feel good' stuff that becomes the catalyst for us to further grinding hard.  And how powerful is our memory recall ?  Studies have shown that it is such a big factor that influences our next steps.  Where there is negativity, it's likely that that negativity will impact you even prior you make the next move.  And where positivity is all over you, that augurs well for you.

And BTW, positivity is damn contagious!  Your attitude at work will not only impact your career but even your general outlook in life.  When something goes wrong, they'll say 'stay strong'.  And those little-little affirmations will go a long way in helping you stretch those 'FLASH BULB' moments for you to stretch your winning streak❗❗❗

You CAN'T Choose Your Terrain

 You CAN'T Choose Your Terrain

In this planet, name a terrain, you have it.  And that's not far different from our life itself because there are much number of terrains as much as our planet earth has.  But there's a stark difference there.  While we can choose the terrain where we will live, it is next to impossible for us to choose the terrain we will trek in life.

Through the years, I heard many things like:  I WANT to take a course that will be EASY.  I WANT to join a company where they have these 'x' fringe benefits.  I WANT to migrate to the country of "MILK & HONEY".  I want a job role that is cut perfectly for the course and skills where I got trained and graduated.  I WANT to start a business where I just need to work no more than 8-10 hours daily with weekends as my break.  Whew lah !!!

For all we know, there could be opportunities for us to consider if we live in the countryside where we'll till our own land and raise our own herd of animals.  It may seem harking backwards to the previous generation but if that option offers you the modest benefits you can leverage on, why not?  And BTW, the eventual terrain you decided to choose may not be the most ideal option but that is the best you can take at that point in time based on a given set of circumstances at hand.  It's all about being pragmatic in life. 

I've personally known people who got stuck up 'in a foxhole' simply because he wanted another terrain of his choice.  And while you're entitled to choose your preferred terrain, out of expediency and being commonsensical, you may have to grab an option which is not at par with your ideal goal but it's not bad either because it guarantees you success.

In summary, dreaming isn't bad.  In fact, we strongly encourage everyone to dream and DREAM BIG but...... BUT just a cautionary note though.  Please NEVER choose the terrain you need to traverse.  In fact and in truth, you need to brace yourself for an all-weather and all-terrain mindset and be ready enough for risks and contingencies that may arise along the way because we're absolutely sure, our lifelong travel won't be a cakewalk.⏳