Unlocking YOUR Potential

Unlocking YOUR Potential

Sometimes, simple things evolve to become quite complex because we seem to have over-simplified things.  Like Unlocking YOUR Potential.  For some, it's NOT even a talking point because to them, a POTENTIAL is a POTENTIAL, period.  BUT dude, there lies the huge disconnect because one can have the POTENTIAL to be a foot soldier while another one can have that rare POTENTIAL to become a general someday📗📙📘

So, there's that huge GAP because the disparity between two possible POTENTIALs can be as wide as the ground versus the sky.  BUT if there is some semblance of commonality, most of us really do want to unlock our POTENTIAL.  To share some quotable quotes from famous names, UFC champion Connor McGregor said that he's WILLING TO DIE IN THE RING [and he means it].  Same one-liner was quoted from Will Smith who was quoted that he's WILLING TO DIE FOR IT if he believes in it💧💧💧

Now, have you heard of LAW OF ATTRACTION?  THAT if you believe in something that deeply, it will come into your life?  And I squarely stand behind it because I firmly believe that's WHAT unlocking one's POTENTIAL is all about.  BUT taking that path is akin to threading a mine-filled road.  BUT, first things first, we got to eliminate and dump out in the window even the slightest manifestation of NEGATIVE THINKING💥💥💥

And along a GROWTH MINDSET, change our SELF-TALK because doubt BREEDS more doubt whereas success BREEDS success.  So, first off, let's eliminate NEGATIVE THINKING and close to the heels after dumping that NEGATIVITY, we are encourage to practice GRATITUDE.  To quote psychologists, when we are GRATEFUL, FEAR DISAPPEARS AND ABUNDANCE APPEARS.  And WHEN you think of everything you have, you begin having MORE.  And that's the LAW OF ATTRACTION in action.  WHAT explains the network of Bill Gates to constantly gallop in quantum numbers through the decades?  And WHAT explains the streak of successes by Elon Musk?  Theirs cannot and should NOT be attributed to simply a streak of luck or that alignment of the stars [which is nothing BUT  a figment of our imagination].  Instead, let us think WHAT you want most in life.  WHAT kind of person you wannabe???

Our takeaway:  Let us get embedded in our mantra the MUST-DO to unlock our POTENTIALS by turning around all 'SHOULDs' into 'MUSTs' and in parallel, creating that ultimate belief in yourself.  Fast-forward, somebody said, let's use the rocking chair method by imagining yourself, old and gray, looking back life and asked WHAT did you miss?  WHAT are your regrets?  Those are your MUSTs because achieving them is the ONLY way to know that you lived a full and extraordinary life❗❗❗ 

BURNOUTs Are Blessings Too!

BURNOUTs Are Blessings Too!

WHO wants BURNOUTs?  NOT me!  Although admittedly in the past, I did get hit with BURNOUT [as an aftermath of those 2-3 P-1 calls I had to host in the wee hours of [almost] every morning] in the past. BUT, on the flip side, I did pick up realizations WHICH I absolutely value in my life till to date, realizations WHICH I would NOT have picked up from anyone or anywhere else, NOT even from anyone, NOT from my parents, my family, my coterie of friends, mentors or counsellors.  YES, BURNOUTs Are Blessings Too!!!

There is a caveat though.  BURNOUT can be your biggest teacher ONLY IF you are open to it.  Try to pull down all your shutters, you WON'T pick up any lessons from BURNOUTs.  BUT I have to be brutally honest here.  I certainly DIDN'T see my BURNOUT experience as a BLESSING WHEN I was in the thick of it.  At hindsight, I told myself I should have known better.  And I told myself that if I had done better, I could have avoided the fallout of my BURNOUT and prevented the negative impact on others💧💧💧

True, WHEN I did hit rock bottom along those dire straits, I was in that spiral shame for quite some time and it took a while for me to come out of that.  BUT how did I extricate myself out of that morass?  First off, I 'RECONNECTED' with myself.  The very first blessing of my BURNOUT was learning to connect with myself.  BURNOUT taught me that I had disengaged myself and was living through WHAT I thought I should be doing rather than WHAT I needed in the moment💦💦💦

The next realization I did embrace was to LIVE A LIFE through my consciously chosen values.  Leading up to BURNOUT, I was kind of living a life of fear, a fear driven of being perceived by my external clients/customers as 'NOT ENOUGH' .  And to complete the picture, at that time, I was like parachuted into a foreign land, feeling all the pent up pressure to adjust and acclimatize to an entirely new culture, new country😀😀😀

Our takeaway:  If there was one adjective that can aptly described that time I had that scary BURNOUT, I felt like I ran out of SPACE.  Realizing that I needed SPACE, that SPACE to process, I realized I had NO room in my schedule to process the inevitable emotions that come with the work OR even my personal adversities that did transpire in my life then.  BURNOUT did teach me that to do this vital work and thrive in this human life, I had to create SPACE in my schedule for the activities that support my well-being, and that encompassed my basic needs to rest, nutrition, and even socializing and fun. So, this should be a no-brainer, that BURNOUTS ARE BLESSINGS TOO❗❗❗ 

How $$$$$$ Really Works

How $$$$$$ Really Works

How $$$$$$ Really Works.  Most of our problems would solve if we just made some EXtra effort to understand how $$$$$$ really works.  Many times we think $$$$$$ DOESN'T buy HAPPINESS.  True most of the time.  BUT dude, $$$$$$ buys us freedom, right?  And that freedom buys us a LOT of choices, which eventually makes us happy to earn more $$$$$$.  So, $$$$$$ is more about psychology than just numbers.  And the sooner we get to understand this, the faster we are able to take charge of our $$$$$$.  We DON'T need to look far.  Let's look at Tier-1 of society.  The Elon Musks.  The Paul Zuckerbergs.  They DON'T need to work like a donkey all day BUT they have something that puts them aside from the rest of the world📗📙📘

This is WHERE every motivational speaker is 'SPOT ON' when preaching the importance of having a PURPOSE IN LIFE.  Everyone of them will tell us that a LIFE WITHOUT PURPOSE is NOT the right way to go.  And yes, none of them is wrong at all.  In fact, 100% of WHAT they say is really damn TRUE.  BUT it's NOT the easiest WHEN you're struggling to find the motivation that you need to find a PURPOSE💧💧💧

Indeed, it takes a lot to take a step out of your life without PURPOSE to change the way you live and think.  So, WHAT bigger motivation can there be than to tell you all the reasons WHY a life without a purpose is hurting you.  BUT we got to carry on, right?  Because in the first place, a life without a PURPOSE has NO meaning.  Have you ever dreaded a lifeless life?  If NOT, you probably DON'T know HOW excruciating such an existence is.  Imagine NOT wanting to wake up every morning BUT also NOT wanting to go to sleep at night.  NO will to work, NO excitement to spend, NO friends' company to enjoy, and NO reason to continue living.  A blank mind with nothing to think about.  The lack of emotions is nothing to look forward to📌📌📌

Yes, WHAT else you would feel BUT that kind of depressing life WHEN you feel a life with NO purpose.  The long and short of it is that a LACK OF PURPOSE means a LACK OF GOALS.  This means nothing is leading you to an imaginary final destination.  You literally have nowhere to go, you find it absolutely torturous to be on the way, and you DON'T even like the route.  WHY then would you even want to carry on with that journey?  Even if you had goals, WHAT IF they are haphazard?  LIKE one goal contradicts the other.  You're all over the place with NO sense of direction at all.  A life without PURPOSE is as meaningless as this❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Motivation is a long-lost dream.  One thing that pretty much every human WHO wants to be successful needs is a lot of motivation.  Let's look at it from the perspective that you do have defined purpose in life.  You trust in every way that life leads you to.  WHAT does that do?  It boosts your brain to work harder.  Every step of the way makes you feel closer to your final destination.  This automatically encourages you to perform better.  HOW $$$$$$ REALLY WORKS is perplexing!@#$%?

How NOT To Age So Fast

How NOT To Age So Fast

Frankly, AGING should never part of any discussion OR thread because essentially, AGING is part of our lifetime process.  No choice bro.  BUT WHAT is quite alarming [even for a non-expert like me] is WHEN PREMATURE AGING happens much faster than it should.  And quoting experts on this, let's blame it on numerous environmental and lifestyle factors.  BUT before getting into specifics, there is a widespread consensus that HEALTHY LIFESTYLE habits can help STOP and even prevent further PREMATURE AGING. How NOT To Age So Fast is WHAT matters most to us right now📗📙📘

At this point, we WON'T waste our time listing all the symptoms of PREMATURE AGING, everyone know them well enough.  Instead, WHAT matters most to us is to figure out WHAT are the possible causes of PREMATURE AGING but experts say that in most cases, numerous factors are controllable and even preventable.  And the technical jargon for this is EXTRINSIC AGING.  Topping the list is undue sun exposure💧💧💧

I WON'T get into the specifics but simply put, blame it on the ultraviolet [UV] light and exposure to sunlight.  And dermatologists call this "PHOTOAGING", which then causes approximately 90% of visible changes in our skin.  WHILE the remaining 10% is attributed to the high-energy visible [HEV] and infrared light.  NOW, lets go for the "MORE INTERESTING" causes:

• SMOKING - WHY?  Toxins in nicotine alter your cells
• UNHEALTHY DIET - WHY?  Sugar and refined carbohydrates are the primary culprits
• ALCOHOL - WHY?  It dehydrates our skin over time
• POOR SLEEP - WHY?  Your cells will age faster
• STRESS - WHY?  Your brain pumps out CORTISOL [a STRESS hormone] WHEN you are stressed

So, WHAT can we do to stop OR prevent premature AGING?  No-brainers folks.  

• AVOID SUN EXPOSURE [where possible]
• STOP SMOKING [as in STOP]
• EAT MORE FRUITS & VEGGIES
• CUT BACK on ALCOHOL
• EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE
• LOWER YOUR STRESS LEVELS - that's obvious
• IMPROVE QUALITY/QUANTITY of SLEEP

Our takeaway:  We DON'T need to be at the level of the rich and famous for us to prevent OR stop PREMATURE AGING because they DON'T have a monopoly of this very unique luxury in life.  If techies would preach that GARBAGE IN equates to GARBAGE OUT, this is as relevant when it comes to PREMATURE AGING.  WHAT we do, WHAT we eat, WHAT we practice will dictate WHETHER we will AGE FAST or NOT.  Challenge for you dude💥💥💥

Savoring Everyday Life

Savoring Everyday Life

Is Savoring Everyday Life worth our time today?  I think so, with certainty.  WHY?  Because a plurality of us [if NOT a majority] are NOT savoring life the way it should happen.  BTW, we DON'T need those 'gratitude tools' to be SAVORING life.  Although we do understand that it is challenging to focus on the bright side while living in a fast-paced world and being immersed in an influx of information heavily centered on negative events💥💥💥

And while adversity is part of our humanity, it does NOT mean that there is NO space for brighter things to happen.  Intentionally placing our attention on positive events and prolonging the positive feelings that arise can buffer against those NEGATIVITIES that wreaks havoc in our daily life.  For alignment, let us agree on the definition of SAVORING which, simply put, is appreciating and enhancing positive experiences that occur in one's life💦💦💦

Ooops, even our pet dog does SAVOR the everyday life but for us, SAVORING would refer to both the past, present and future.  And SAVORING itself can happen from different perspectives, namely:

• SAVORING experiences
• SAVORING processes
• SAVORING responses

Our chronic problem is, we have been so pampered and spoiled in life such that for us, SAVORING is equated for the high-impact events, the high-profile experiences, those 'high moments' after romping off with a major plum, a well-deserved promotion OR even winning the Lotto jackpot.  BUT dude, the probability for those samplings are a drop in the bucket.  99% [or probably 98%] of our daily life is peppered with SMALL MOMENTS, and many of them are SMALL QUIET MOMENTS, like enjoying your everyday early morning walk with your partner/spouse, appreciating the aroma of that hot coffee during breakfast OR even waking up with the sun shining out there, ready to give us the sunlight we need in our health.  BUT for us to develop that SAVORING ability, it is imperative that we are able to connect to the present moment, and seek out the freedom from those urgent responsibilities and acquire that mindfulness and awareness of our positive moments😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  For us to appreciate the need to be SAVORING our everyday life, let us drill down on its obvious benefits starting with positive emotions as it can expand our thoughts and behaviors, promote creativity amongst others.  And studies have proved that it counterbalances the experience of unpleasant emotions in stressful moments.  And predictively, SAVORING has been proven to help increase life's levels of satisfaction, happiness and perceived control.  And conversely, it decreases depressive symptoms while even reducing levels of depression and anxiety and in the end, it relates to higher levels of positive life satisfaction.  All because of SAVORING EVERYDAY LIFE❗❗❗

Your Health Is Your BASELINE

Your Health Is Your BASELINE

Can we equate Your Health's BASELINE to your life's BASELINE?  Absolutely.  They run in parallel, akin to Siamese Twins.  NOT to delve into the medical field [because that's NOT my domain], still, I firmly believe in the significance of understanding our health BASELINE and equate that to our life's BASELINE.  Although even doctors declare that every human body is unique by itself, it's primarily because NONE of us eat exactly the same, exercise to the same degree OR live identical lifestyles.  Instead, medical experts enjoin us to determine our personal health BASELINE.  In case you are NOT sold [yet] to the need for our health's BASELINING, let's dissect with reference to WHAT the SME's [Subject Matter Experts] say💦💦💦

Culling from the layman's version from the experts, a health BASELINE is a breakdown of our basic health level [which is gleaned from both BASELINE tests and from analyzing certain aspects in our life].  In many cases, health BASELINEs are used to determine whether you are suffering from one OR more chronic conditions OR if you are at risk for developing chronic conditions in the future.  In many households, I observe a disturbing eerie silence when health BASELINE becomes a topic💥💥💥

Simply put, we are espousing a proactive approach towards establishing one's health BASELINE for one compelling reason, i.e. we want to drastically reduce that probability of someone suddenly falling seriously ill OR worst, fatally losing one's life because of a chronic and fatal illness that sprung out of nowhere.  The past 6 months alone, at least 6 people whom I know first-hand, lost their lives.  And WHAT's their commonality?  They DIDN'T have a health BASELINE and a sudden illness knocked them off❌❌❌

Should this raise the alarm bells?  Absolutely.  Because unless we have the BUY-IN from everyone towards a establishing a no nonsense health BASELINE, these HIGH RISKS will be untenable as there will be little leeway to mitigate them.  And at best, we will end up handling things in REACTIVE mode, e.g. rushing to the medical specialist to report an unusual manifestation, taking emergency medical lab test and diagnosis😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  If one will take this piece seriously today, I would expect someone [reacting within himself] that, HEY IT'S TOO LATE to make a move.  And I won't agree less on that BUT as the old cliche goes, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.  In short, understanding our body is the very first step towards optimizing our health.  A health BASELINE takes the guesswork out of WHAT can help you feel even better.  Moreover, it can even help you get preventive [and that's PROACTIVE] care before conditions develop OR you end up experiencing symptoms from chronic issues.  Yes dude, establishing your health BASELINE is 'non-nego', dude❗❗❗

You Are In-charge Of Your BLUEPRINT IN LIFE

You Are In-charge Of Your BLUEPRINT IN LIFE

Heard this a zillion times.  Your BLUEPRINT FOR LIFE defines the kind of LIFE you are going to have.  It tells the kind of decisions you will take, KIND of friends you will make, KIND of success you will have, KIND of failures you will face, and HOW you will react to all of them.  In a nutshell, it becomes the very BASIC IDEA about your life.  And BTW, LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.  LIFE does NOT spring up like the natural springs from mountains with water flowing and finding its way from the the time it flows from the waterfalls down to the streams.  This is YOU as YOU are IN-CHARGE of your BLUEPRINT IN LIFE📗📙📘

Yes you can paste and post all those Post-it-Notes, plastered across all your walls 360 degrees BUT unless you have that BLUEPRINT IN LIFE, sadly, pitifully, you have NOWHERE TO GO dude.  Eventually, everyone comes to a FORK in the road eventually.  To the left lies the path that points to your dream such as that dream is a reality that could even exist.  Down the trail lies those unforeseen risks and dangers.  For some, it may just be some potholes and some overgrown brambleweed.  For others, a cliff face and torrential weather.  BTW, in life, there could be NO map, NO guarantee that the traveler will ever reach his/her destination, NOT AT ALL❎❎❎

BUT instead of scaring and threatening you, the truth is that there are PATHS anyone of us can walk.  On the right, the road is paved.  There are signs, landmarks and even rest stops [call it PIT STOP for F1 drivers].  That way lies a different horizon and be warned that perils persist BUT rest assured the trail you will thread will be clear enough.  BUT having said this, there is NO right answer.  Nobody can be told with absolute certainty WHICH way they should turn to.  Especially, as many find at a certain stage in LIFE then they're NOT alone.  Whenever  a building is constructed, you usually have an architect who draws a blueprint that serves as the pattern and guide for the building💥💥💥

If I may suggest some of the things that should begin your LIFE's BLUEPRINT.  Numero uno should be your deep belief in YOUR own dignity, YOUR worth and YOUR own 'somebodiness'.  DON'T allow anybody to make you tell that you're a nobody.  ALWAYS feel that you count.  ALWAYS feel that you have that worth, and ALWAYS feel that your life has ultimate significance.  Segundo, in your LIFE'S BLUEPRINT, you must have as the basic principle that determination to achieve excellence in your various fields of endeavor💦💦💦

Eventually, you're you're going to be deciding as the days, as the years unfold WHAT you will do in life, WHAT your life's work will be.  Set out to do it well enough.  Our takeaway:  Doors are opening to you, doors of OPPORTUNITIES that were NOT open to your parents before and the great challenge ahead facing you is to be ready to face these doors as they open.  Dude, YOU ARE IN-CHARGE OF YOUR BLUEPRINT IN LIFE😊😊😊

it's How You React That Matters

it's How You React That Matters

They say we human beings are creatures in search of meaning.  BUT the thing is, everything that happens must happen FOR A REASON.  And that explains WHY we keep going day after day.  Sadly, WHATEVER hits us, we're always on the lookout for the underlying reasons, to gain a better understanding of the chain of events.  BUT really, It's How You React That Matters.  BUT what are our favorite reactions?  Karma, divine blessing OR wrath, luck OR misfortune.  BUT without being experts, a closer look at the chain of events reveal that many of the things that happen to us are the results of the 'LAW OF ATTRACTION' in both the POSITIVE and NEGATIVE ways.  BUT can we agree that we are all the SUM of ALL our daily actions, the aggregate of the concrete steps we have taken for the whole day💴💷💵

This is where the LAW of ATTRACTION kicks in because it is basic and simple math.  If I keep writing lines and lines everyday to become a writer, I will be increasing my chances to be a writer.  And if I keep hurting someone, I will be increasing my chances of hurting that someone.  BUT apart from the ordinary beneficial and NEGATIVE events that strike us, it can happen that an immense happiness OR unhappiness strikes us, independently of all our actions to date📗📙📘

Thing is, there is NO easy way to say it and NO need to sugar coat the truth that for many could be LIFE-CHANGING, so we should all be reminded that IT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU BUT HOW YOU REACT TO IT THAT MATTERS.  Usually, you know this to be true and yet it is so hard to let offenses, real and imagined, go without a fight OR at least a great comment📌📌📌

A fact of life is that events are powerful enough to change the course of one's destiny.  And these events do happen without distinction.  As if we'd been the BIG winners OR losers in a lottery, these events turn our lives upside down and call into question everything we believe in.  HOW often do we hear someone blurt 'WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS? So, WHY that kind of question?  Precisely💧💧💧

Many times, history has proven that a major, and some cataclysmic event, is enough to push people to rise up, even stronger.  Our takeaway:  In the face of EXTREME PAIN and sometimes unprecedented PAIN, mankind will manifest and show up its resilience, ingenuity and even progress.  They then make up for their shortcomings and finally see their BLIND SPOTS, learning from their mistakes.  So, dude, IT IS HOW YOU REACT THAT MATTERS💥💥💥

The Power Of Play [& NOT Power Play]

The Power Of Play [& NOT Power Play]

I am NOT into play of words BUT how often do we hear adults [oh oh, do I hear POLITICIANS?] getting involved in POWER PLAY?  BUT before we unconsciously veer into the worldly world of politics, let's get back on track for today wherein it's The Power Of Play [& NOT Power Play].  Meaning, we need to drill-down why we ADULTS are encouraged to get into PLAY, all because of the POWER of PLAY💥💥💥

BUT WHAT's reality though? In our frenetic and hectic daily lives, many of us [in fact, MOST of us] focus so heavily on work, business and family commitments such that we NEVER seem to have time for pure FUN.  Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, we seemed tp have stopped PLAYING.  WHEN we carve out some leisure time, we're more likely to zone out in front of the TV, computer or smart phone devices than engage in FUN, rejuvenating PLAY like we did as children.  BUT PLAY is NOT just essential for kids💦💦💦

It should NOT be a steep mountain to climb to convince us adults that PLAY is an important source of relaxation and stimulation for adults as well.  WHETHER it is PLAYING with your romantic partner, your friends, your co-workers, pets and children is a sure [and FUN] way to fuel your imagination, creativity, and even your problem-solving abilities and emotional well-being as well.  Adult PLAY is a time to forget about work and commitments and to be social in an unstructured , creative way.  This explains why, in our organization, since Day-1 [when I joined about thirteen years ago till to date], in our teambuilding initiatives, FUN kicks in at the start till the event wraps up✅✅✅

Let's admit it.  ADULT PLAY is a time to to forget about work and commitments, and to be social in an unstructured, creative way.  In fact, as we speak now, my calendar shows that tomorrow, our team will be having our quarterly teambuilding at a Karaoke Place.  Call that event anything but you CAN'T take away FUN from that teambuilding.  In fact, a simple PLAY could be like simply goofing off with friends, sharing jokes with a coworker, throwing a frisbee on the beach, dressing up on Halloween😍😍😍

Our takeaway:  While we always tagged PLAY for children, it is also beneficial for people of ALL ages.  PLAY can add joy to life, relieve stress, supercharge learning, and connect you to others and the world around you.  PLAY can also make work MORE productive and pleasurable.  Are you aware as to why the office environment layouts and structures of successful organizations feature more homely and casual tones like HOT SEATS, NO physical dividers OR divisions between desks, with an office pantry just a few steps away?  It's because this adds to the PLAYFUL nature to soften up the rigidness of an office environment.  So dude, this is the POWER OF PLAY❗❗❗

Are You [STILL] In A 'ZERO SUMM' Game?

Are You [STILL] In A 'ZERO SUMM' Game?

here's a frank question:  Are You [STILL] In A 'ZERO SUMM' Game?  UNLESS you are into poker, chess OR bridge.  UNLESS you are involved in the markets and financial instruments, future contracts and even options are ZERO SUMM GAME as well.  Otherwise, NO sirrrrs, life is a NOT a ZERO SUMM game.  From one perspective [of pessimism], life is rather a NET NEGATIVE because we are always needing to work to avoid OR prevent us from a loss OR suffering.  Oh, that was quite fuzzy📗📙📘

BUT hey, the conflicting demands of work vis-a-vis our personal life have always been with us.  People have always had children and elderly parents to care for.  They have always pursued hobbies and even devoted some time to their community [probably].  In the past, even managers dealt with it in a curt manner like:  WHAT YOU DO IN OFFICE IS OUR BUSINESS.  WHAT YOU DO OUTSIDE IS YOUR OWN.  It was assumed that employees would put the company's interests first. A ZERO-SUMM, right???

BUT have times changed?  I'll surmise YES and NO.  BUT in recent years, even in our organization, we have approached the work-life question with much more reason, more empathy.  That is when organizations operate under the assumption that work and personal life are NOT competing priorities BUT complementary ones instead.  In essence, this is the WIN-WIN philosophy we would frequently hear these days.  And the way things are churning out, I strongly believe that this most recent practice has been well vindicated.  In fact, studies have shown that this new approach has yielded concrete and tangible payoffs and benefits for both the organization and the employee him/herself.  WHAT's interesting to hear and learn is HOW today's managers and leaders are guided by these principles✅✅✅

Fact is, life is NOT a ZERO SUMM game at all.  True, people get jealous of others simply because they are in better positions.  They envy people WHO win.  They think that there CAN'T be more than one winner.  And they believe that it is NOT fair that others have stuff you deserve.  They might even think that IF someone is already in a place that we want to be in, they CAN'T be there.  BUT that's just bullshit, right???

Our takeaway:  it is utterly disgusting WHEN I do observe some people WHO believe that for them to win in life, someone else has to lose.  No sirrrrs, it should NEVER be that way [although I frankly admit that I had this kind of [disgusting] mindset at one point in the past.  That was WHEN I had a ZERO SUMM mindset.  BUT I did a 180-degree turn and realized that life is NOT a ZERO SUMM game.  Someone DOESN'T have to lose for you to win and vice-versa.   So, if you're still in a ZERO SUMM game bail out quickly, dude❗❗❗