Should We Tell Everyone Our Target Goals?

Should We Tell Everyone Our Target Goals?

Should We Tell Everyone Our Target Goals?  Dude, there are two unqualified answers to this question and it's NO and NO, period.  True, it's so ideal to be transparent and be an 'open book' but experts have coined this acronym 'TMI', i.e. too much information.  First of the list of NO-NOs is NOT to be an 'open book' WHEN it pertains your health.  Even the HIPAA regulation in the U.S. clearly protects a patient's health information.  Oooops, we're NOT implying that if you confide to someone your health issues, they will make matters worse for you.  Nope, NOT to that extent BUT here's the thing📗📙📘

Without being cynical, generally, people have that tendency to adjust their behavior WHEN they find out you have or had a specific medical condition.  WHILE it might be obvious, it does change the lens by WHICH you are viewed.  So, WHAT'S the key?  It's about striking the 'BALANCE'.  At hindsight, it behooves that we establish those 'guard rails' of WHAT you deem appropriate in your culture OR environment and WHAT is NOT.  The crucial question then is, HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?  YES, timing is key in figuring out your own cadence and balance. The WHAT and WHEN of WHAT to reveal is very personal and the timing needs to be BALANCED with creating unnecessary anxiety OR even distractions❎❎❎

YES, transparency is a 'watchword' in the workplace these days and it is quite easy to understand.  After all, people conduct their work in plain view, and which leads me to ask, should they NOT be more open and accountable?  YES absolutely.  BUT again, without being cynical, there is always that 'dark side' of things.  Basic questions staring in our face are:  HOW MUCH of myself and my emotions can I share💦💦💦

Ultimately, is there a point WHERE our being transparent can become toxic?  True, TRANSPARENCY is healthy as it builds trust and it is empowering no less.  HOWEVER, WHEN TRANSPARENCY is manifested OR displayed quite wantonly [I'll call it CARELESSLY sometimes], OR responded to with dispassion and nonchalance, it be can very quickly become a barrier between WHERE you are and WHERE you need to be.  NOW, WHY DON'T we focus on the 'darker side'😗😗😗

Our takeaway:  I earnestly believe that if and WHEN TRANSPARENCY prevails, it's a win-win for everyone, be it at your home, at the workplace OR even in your owned business forays.  It is in the somber moments and difficult conversations WHERE being TRANSPARENT requires more tactfulness and immense consideration.  Your being TRANSPARENT during serious pivotal moments can backfire, right?  So, this all boils down for us to do the BALANCING ACT💥💥💥

Breaking Bad Habits?

Breaking Bad Habits?  If psychologists will hear that question, they get stomped with this challenge, CAN WE RETRAIN OUR BRAIN?  And they have a ready answer that YES WE CAN RETRAIN IT.  BUT as the cliche goes, if you need to shy away OR put away something, there has to be a literal replacement.  Imagine if you're a chain smoker and you'll attempt to stop smoking.  Likely THAT will be doomed to fail unless smoking gets replaced with another sensible 'replacement', right???

I've read this shared narrative before.  Mike wrote a list that showed:  Make a healthy snack, go to the gym, DON'T waste time on the mobile phone, read a classic novel and housetrain his dog.  24 hours later, Mike munched celery sticks while reading his fav classic novel.  His legs were sore after an hour at the treadmill while his dog was waiting outside.  Is this believable?  Factually, Mike was on the couch, one hand in the bag of chips, the other on his mobile phone. The unopened gym bag and copy of the classic novel were on the floor💥💥💥

Indeed that's more plausible, right?  YES we all agree that HABITS DON'T change overnight, NOT for the simple doggies and NOT for the big-brained human beings.  BUT research shows that even the pet dog can learn that he should go potty outside instead on top Mike's gym bag BUT YES, we can REWIRE our brain to change our HABITS.  We humans just need a subtler approach than just a few treats, agree???

SO HOW?  So many studies have covered this so let's piggy-back on them instead.  

• Identify CUES - Something has to trigger a habit!
• DISRUPT - With cues, throw BAD HABITS off track!
• REPLACE - YES, BAD HABITS must be replaced
• KEEP IT SIMPLE - Simply new behaviors to adopt
• Think LONG-TERM - That CHANGE is not overnight
• PERSIST - As established HABITs are hard to break, keep at it, and it's been proven that over time, persistence works although it's painful at the start

Our takeaway:  While it's NO surprise to me to keep hearing zillion attempts to break a BAD HABIT, WHAT befuddles me is that most of the people involved seem to just shrug off their shoulder WHEN their attempt to change flops.  AS IF it's a no-brainer but the thing here is that UNLESS and UNTIL a person is personally committed to BREAK those BAD HABITS, rest assured that those BAD HABITS will continue to stick it out to them [probably throughout their lifetime] like a leech.  BREAKING BAD HABITS?  Just do it dude😄😄😄

BEWARE When Optimism Turns To Hubris

NOT to paint myself in a corner BUT I have to admit that I am a dyed-in-the-wool OPTIMIST.  With one too many roadblocks throughout my journey till to date, I have to admit I WON'T be here blogging at my own pace IF I'll deny the level [call it severity?] of OPTIMISM I always manifest in my life.  BUT, life is not always as simply as having the sun, shining and dandy.  BEWARE When Optimism Turns To Hubris  because once it's ugly head turns up, you can be like caught in an unexpected hurricane [in life]📗📙📘

NOT to downplay things BUT I did bear witness to many optimists WHO were miles ahead of me from an OPTIMISM perspective.  They are the ones WHO would take the plunge with the least convincing necessary.  It's GO-GO-GO for them and to their credit, I've witnessed some of their successes BUT not to bad-mouth them, their successes were paltry when mapped against all the debacles, a.k.a. failures💧💧💧

SO HOW?  Becoming more optimistic can help you see people, situations and tasks with a more positive outlook.  People WHO are OPTIMISTS can expectedly reduce their stress levels and improve their productivity and have more fulfilling experiences.  Oooops I've heard a debate WHEN it was being argued that the stress levels for OPTIMISM are much higher because they seem to be always in 'full throttle'💥💥💥

You might argue WHY are we wasting our time today to talk about OPTIMISM?  This is more info-sharing than an information roadshow because to most of us, we know well enough all these stuff.  Allow me then to do a look-up on researches encouraging us to be more OPTIMISTIC:

• It minimizes STRESS - because we tend to focus on the positive aspects of our life
• It improves our HEALTH - Expert studies showed that OPTIMISTS have lower risks of heart disease, stroke and other medical conditions, on top of better immune systems, no thanks to OPTIMISM
• Increased PRODUCTIVITY - This is quite obvious.
• More career BREAKTHROUGHs - This is very likely
• Reduced risk of depression OR anxiety - Amen

Our takeaway:  OPTIMISM is one of the things in life which entails MINIMAL efforts that may equate to BIGGER and more impactful results.  ISN'T that a giveaway per se?  WHY go BIG if there are way to go and aim for that BIG IMPACTING plum while leveraging on your well grounded OPTIMISM?  If there's one thing we need to be cautioned, please ensure you remain adept to PULL THE BREAKS when your OPTIMISM seems to have gone overboard, OR frankly it has gone berserk.  That's WHEN OPTIMISM TURNS TO HUBRIS😌😌😌

Is Walking Away Bad OR Wrong?

Is Walking Away Bad OR Wrong?  My curt reply:  YES and NO.  It is that BAD and WRONG if you WALK AWAY arbitrarily, for no credible reason OR rational at all.  BUT if did your soul-searching enough to reach your informed decision, WALKING AWAY could be the correct move after all.  WHETHER it's about relationships, your job OR even your business forays, WALKING AWAY from a situation could be your way to regain control of a situation that's going deep south faster than you thought📗📙📘

Reality here is that life can be an absolute whirlwind, throwing unexpected curveballs your way [WHEN you DIDN'T even least expect it].  And sometimes, you end up finding yourself stuck in situations that seem like a test of your strength, resilience OR even your character.  Been there, done that.  YES dude, I did survive.  True, it's NOT only battling with WHAT seems are impossible decisions to arrive at but more often, you get caught between the need to stand your ground and that urge to run as far from the situation as possible.  Seriously, describing it as a dilemma will be a gross understatement💦💦💦

Thing is, it's NOT always about fireworks OR call it 'epic showdowns' because at times, it is a seemingly quiet voice at the back of your head whispering and counselling you that it's time to STEP BACK, even though every ounce of you is screaming NO WAY because likely, you prefer the status quo.  WHAT I learned in my journey till to date is that WALKING AWAY [be it from the workplace OR in any other endeavor you're in] ISN'T always a sign of defeat at all.  On the other hand, it could be a manifestation of of your 'brave act' of self-preservation, a necessary step towards better things you deserve.  Let's rattle off a sampling of those difficult situations you need to grapple with:

• Jobs [or workplace] that UNDERMINUES your value
• Friendships where RECIPROCITY is an unknown word.
• Expectations that limit your AUTHENTICITY [and that's tricky]

Of all those wild variables in life, expectations can be a damn tricky thing.  They can either motivate you to strive for more BUT they can also box you in, limiting your own capabilities [and add your authenticity] that goes along with your freedom.  True, there's a fine line between meeting expectations and losing oneself in the process.  And WHEN you're constantly trying to live up to someone else's expectations [be it at the workplace, in business OR even in relationships] or society at large, you might end up finding yourself losing touch with WHO you are💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Let's NOT miss the  boat.  Let us NOT get caught with our head dug deep into the sands if only to extricate ourselves from a situation that is potentially escalating.  Our take:  Extricate yourself from the sand, face the mirror, assess the situation in the most thorough approach possible before you end up in an informed decision because WALKING AWAY is NOT always BAD or WRONG😑😑😑

Are You 'RISK AVERSE'?

Are You 'RISK AVERSE'?

AI cautions us that regardless if one is a risk taker OR risk averse, at the end of the day, it all depends HOW we react to UNCERTAINTY.  So, while risk takers are tagged as bold and comfortable with uncertainty, risk averse people prefer stability and certainty.  Are You 'RISK AVERSE'?  YES, just now, I asked that same question to myself and I replied "YES and NO" based on the zillion decisions I made throughout the past years📗📙📘

Frankly, I would tag myself as 'middle-of-the-roader' because much as sometimes I am RISK AVERSE, there are times I'm so locked-in, ready to take the plunge and take that RISK.  You might ask, what triggers me to take the RISK [versus being RISK AVERSE?  It is the prize dangling there that can trigger me to come up with an informed decision.  IF the potential UPSIDEs heavily outweigh the DOWNSIDEs, I'm all in to face those RISKS💧💧💧

NOW, here's the deal that will sow more confusion.  WHETHER you are RISK AVERSE or a RISK TAKER, there's a commonality between them and it's the fact that either way, you can still end up in disappointments, a.k.a. frustrations.  BUT not to everyone's surprise, they are significantly poles apart because WHILE RISK TAKERS take too many risks without any planning much akin to a chronic gambler, studies show that more too often, they would walk away a loser.  On the other hand, the RISK AVERSE are continually stuck in the development of the plan BUT the plans are just plans.  Since the plans will never be good enough, they DON'T get implemented💥💥💥

And WHEN we start talking about relationships, this is WHEN we will bear witness to the parting of the Red Sea recurring over and over again WHEN it comes to relationships.  Take the RISK TAKER, it's NOT far fetched to speculate that they may get entangled with one relationship after another, NOT because they are trigger-happy BUT simply because they are the more vulnerable souls WHO sometimes end up in NOT SO informed decisions.  You might wonder.  Can we compartmentalize things?  Like being RISK AVERSE in relationships WHILE being a RISK TAKER in business forays? YES, that chameleon-like profile can exist but that's more of an exception than the rule😖😖😖

Our takeaway:  There is NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL.  We can't recommend a sure-fire formula in life BUT instead, let's adopt both mindsets and execute it in a rational approach.  And obviously, sometimes WHEN the stakes are high enough, it's really that tempting to take the plunge and take the RISK.  My take on that?  GO FOR IT because many times, our gut feel and our instincts do play a heavy hand in those circumstances.  WHEREAS sometimes WHEN your heart is pumping faster, do listen to your heart as much as you need to listen to your mind❗❗❗

Why Saying 'NO' Is Sometimes MOST DIFFICULT???

WHY Is The Easiest Word To Say Is Sometimes The MOST DIFFICULT One???

Oxford says there are 171,476 English words in use and over 47,156 obsolete ones WHEREAS the dictionary has 157,000 combinations and derivatives and another 169,000 phrases and combinations.  In sum, roughly we have over 600,000 word-forms in English and YES, one of the most simple words to pronounce is 'NO'.  YET, what befuddles is this:  WHY Is The Easiest Word To Say Becomes The MOST DIFFICULT One???

YES, I do feel it OR I do hear you.  HOW can you say NO to your best best friend ever?  OR to your closes buddy at the workplace?  OR even to your valued client WHO you DON'T want to lose at all given all the deals that client always signs off [even before you end your sales spiel].  OR your boss?  OR the priest OR pastor in your neighborhood WHO you considered already as 'family'?  OR for someone caught by the authorities and now undergoing interrogation WHO may probably never say 'NO' especially under a climate of fear, coercion OR duress?  Indeed, that dilemma of saying NO is a puzzle difficult to resolve BUT that will be the case IF you are unprepared to SAY NO WITHOUT SAYING NO.  BUT frankly, first and foremost, let's digest the possible implications [and even consequences] WHEN you say YES but meant to say NO instead.  YES, it's NOT simply responding and it gets closed as a discussion point because it can even 'haunt' you back❎❎❎

WHEN saying YES [but you meant NO], think about all these:

• DID YOU falsely raise expectations out of deference?
• DID YOU end up committing to do something you CAN'T?
• DID YOU simply maintained a 'clean slate' at your expense?
• DID YOU think you were fair enough to yourself to say YES?
• DID YOU come prepared for that question BUT unprepared?
• DID YOU paint yourself in a corner, difficult to extricate from?
• DID YOU end up pleasing the other party, solely for pleasing?
• DID YOU avoid creating a problem only to create a new one?
• DID YOU ease out the pressure on you only to pressure you?
• DID YOU simply shelved the problem only to haunt you back?
  

NOT to host a clinic for a 'SAY NO' 101 Course, allow me to share some of the AI insights to SAY NO WITHOUT SAYING IT:

• I'M ALREADY BOOKED
• MY CALENDAR IS FULL
• UNFORTUNATELY I CAN'T
• I'M NOT ABLE AT THIS TIME
• THAT DOESN'T FIT MY SCHEDULE
• I'M NOT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THIS
• I'M AFRAID I DON'T HAVE THE BANDWIDTH
• I NEED TO PRIORITIZE THE EARLIER TASK I HAVE
• LET ME  CLEAR UP MY QUEUED TASKS FOR NOW
• I'M AFRAID TO STEP ON OTHER'S TOES FOR THAT

Our takeaway:  We need to factor-in peculiarities of some cultures BUT this should NOT be a blocker for us to SAY NO WHEN IT HAS TO BE NO:

• In Thailand, NO does not directly translate to 'NO'
• In the Middle East, NO may be taken as rudeness
• In China, they want to avoid conflicts if they say NO
• In Japan, where politeness prevails, NO is difficult
• In Chile, they might say MAYBE OR POSSIBLY

YES dude, it still befuddles me till to date as to WHY Is The Easiest Word To Say Is Sometimes The MOST DIFFICULT One???

From Rock Bottom To Rock Solid

From Rock Bottom To Rock Solid

WHO has not been to ROCK BOTTOM?  I really doubt it if anyone has NOT hit ROCK BOTTOM at all.  WHO says and WHO claims that both his feet have NOT been on the ground throughout his lifetime?  I'm even more inclined to believe that a plurality of us [if NOT a majority] have been down deep down there at ROCK BOTTOM countless times.  BUT hitting ROCK BOTTOM is one we should NEVER be ashamed to admit.  Been there, done that.  I got bruised black and blue.  BUT what matters most as we journey in our life is to go From Rock Bottom To Rock Solid.  Sounds a rah-rah chant BUT call it any way you want, numerous success stories credit their hitting ROCK BOTTOM to propel them to ROCK SOLID heights.  And all these is part of our journey.  And WHAT matters most is HOW we rise from those depths and turn our struggles into stepping stones📗📙📘

So, rather than reinvent the wheels, let's pick up the brains of those who literally rose from ROCK BOTTOM.  Foremost of which is remaining CONNECTED to your coterie of trusted friends.  They are NOT there just to give us a shoulder to cry on, to lean on.  We are encouraged to surround ourself with people WHO would lift us up, encourage us to get out of that rabbit hole.  NOT to forget, we often hear that laughter is the best medicine and we would hear that friends are the ultimate prescription.  Then, we are advised to piggy-back with daily plans of 'SMALL INCREMENTS'.  LIKE WHEN we are so overwhelmed, the idea of making huge strides can be damn paralyzing to say the least.  So, WHY DON'T we start small, that small token step if you may.  YES, I did take that path many times before.  Every tiny step then WHICH was all I can do💧💧💧

I did tap my own self then and said, ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY, so it's reasonable and realistic to temper our hopes and even that fainted optimism.  To reinforce your acceleration to get into that momentum going, this WHEN and WHERE your loved ones would be your partner[s] in ensuring that your long-term goals can have that extra layer of accountability and support, a support you will hardly find elsewhere.  And WHEN you involve your loved ones, more likely you'll remain committed to your plans✅✅✅

Numerous times in my life, I heard these words resonate and replicate over and over again:  I WOULD HAVE NOT MADE IT WITHOUT HIM/HER and I CAN'T doubt even the slightest.  WHEN I go for regular medical tests at the hospital facilities, I would see couples and more often, it is the wife WHO is providing the support to the husband, husbands WHO are strangers to me BUT I can safely guess they were as robust WHEN they were at the pinnacle of their successes😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  That IDEAL altitude in life, YES we all relish that BUT let us be [gently] reminded that many more souls are in situations much dire, much worse than WHATEVER predicament we may be right now. And allow me to go back to that half-glass of water.  Let's take it as HALF FULL instead of HALF-EMPTY.  One day, our cup will be full anyway and that's the time for us to KAMPAI-KAMPAI❗❗❗

Living Through A Screen?

Like it OR not, we have a twenty first century problem and that's Living Through A Screen, at least for some WHO fall prey to it.  BUT WHO lives these days with NO smartphone on hand?  It's NOT so much an inconvenience as a total loss of contact with the world.  To be further than touching distance from our messages via Viber, Messenger OR Telegram, more than one run of ChatGPT OR Google search from every drop in information and unable to message anyone seems a disaster📘📙📗

So, WHAT's new?  WiFi access points are everywhere, even on-board some public transports in the First World.  Even cafes and restaurants know that NOT offering the internet is like NOT serving the right food OR stocking the popular drinks.  We end up ignoring each other by sitting across the table from one another and staring at our smartphones.  Many times, I've seen couples in a cafe OR restaurant BUT hostaged more by their smartphones💥💥💥

And many of us are so enthralled being 'online' via the multiple platforms of choice and as if being online is NOT enough, we even record ourselves via camera and videos even WHEN just staring on our phones.  More than an hour away from our smartphones and we may as well be declared OFF THE GRID but at the same time being ignored for the sake of a phone is deemed offensive and it has even sparked the idea of smartphone etiquette.  Several initiatives have even been attempted to put a halt to it.  I've seen attempts stocking their phones face down in the table😐😐😐

So, WHAT's a nice idea?  Get off X [Twitter]?  Stay away from Meta's Facebook?  BUT it's NOT that simple dude.  We seem to be fighting a 'losing battle' and it's human nature [NOT just technology] that is going against us.  The romantic idea is that without smartphones, we'd all be sitting in that cafe talking to complete strangers BUT that's simply NOT the case.  Remember the old school of newspaper tabloids and magazines?  They were just as good at distracting us from each other.  Furthermore, we CAN'T tarnish all smartphone users with the same brush❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  True, it's NOW a default expectation, professionally as well as socially, to always be in contact.  Many jobs mean we have to be ready to look at emails, available to cover shifts.  WHEREAS in our personal lives, if ignorance was once a bliss, and NO news was once GOOD NEWS, the opposite is NOW true.  As a whole, our dependence on the smartphone is NEVER likely to go away BUT can we embrace technology more as a gift to us, for us NOT to abuse it, LIKE LIVING THROUGH A SCREEN!@#$%?

Never Let Strangers Spoil Your Life

Never Let Strangers Spoil Your Life

YES, very true, strangers come and go in our life, some leaving a mark in our life [WHETHER that's positive OR negative].  Regardless of your culture, your calling OR vocation, relationships will come into play as one of the most important factors that will pave towards your overall success.  Be it at home, at work OR anywhere else.  And as we move on in life, our advancement is in direct correlation with our ability to handle relationships.  Regardless,  Never Let Strangers Spoil Your Life📗📙📘

It is inevitable that there will be times at work, at school OR even in your commercial forays, WHEN you will encounter 'difficult' people.  BUT such is life.  You CAN'T control the actions OR attitudes of others BUT the upside of these all is that you can control HOW you react and respond to those WHO seem to get under your skin.  And here's an age-old advice I heeded from long time back.  LESS TALK, LESS HEADACHE💦💦💦

WHAT we always hear is that as long as you are talking about something, that makes things 'CURRENT'.  The same is true with someone you consider as a DIFFICULT person in life. The more you talk about him/her, the more he/she remains 'CURRENT' in your life.  And WHEN he/she irritates you, it feels momentarily good to talk about that person to another person to validate your feelings [and YES you are entitled to it].  As the adage goes, misery does love company, so you may tend to seek to find anyone WHO will listen to HOW infuriating you feel about that 'DIFFICULT' person😉😉😉

BUT, let's hear from the expert advice of psychologists.  That momentary pleasure of talking about that 'DIFFICULT' person only gives you MORE NEGATIVE emotion MORE LIFE.  Instead of letting it die a 'natural death', you seem to nurture it [like watering your backyard plants], giving it MORE LIFE.  SO HOW?  Stop giving life to misery itself.  Just stop talking about it.  ZIP your lock.  Lock your ZIP.  Way way back, someone continually got under my skin.  It seemed like life always went the way of that person.  WHETHER it's having a brand-new car the parents bought based on whim OR the promotion that person landed, at one point, it led me to having that lack of self-assurance and vision for WHAT I could accomplish as the real problem I had to confront and fix💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Many times in life, just WHEN we [wrongly] thought that we have things under our control, it would rear it's ugly head and WHEN those feelings of NEGATIVITY arose, I would often find myself creating scenarios that would never happen, that tendency to play out some things, sometimes imaginary, in my mind.  The aftermath of all those would leave me feeling fueled with anger [whew!] and even more irritated, until my getting off-tracked when things spiraled into an abyss of bitterness and ire.  Dude, let us NOT get into that path WHEN we let strangers SPOIL OUR LIFE❌❌❌

[Where Possible] NEVER Reach The Last Straw of A Relationship

 [Where Possible] NEVER Reach The Last Straw of A Relationship

We heard this a zillion times "THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK" and some of us may have used these sayings without really thinking about their meaning.  True, as human beings, we have an amazing capacity to deal with and push through a host of struggles, challenges, setbacks, heartaches and even betrayals.  And many people are willing to endure even mistreatment and even abuse in order to 'preserve' and even maintain certain relationships WHETHER they be work, romantic, family OR friends.  YES dude, [Where Possible] NEVER Reach The Last Straw of A Relationship📗📙📘

Quite often, people know enough WHEN the treatment and behavior that they are allowing [condoning, to be frank] such unhealthy and problematic situations.  However, for a variety of different reasons, they tend to put up with such predicament [WHICH sometimes become recurring] UNTIL, knock on wood, they would [unfortunately] reach that so called 'FINAL STRAW'.  At that point, something occurs WHERE the individual mentally reaches a point WHERE they are NO longer willing to tolerate [and frankly, condone] that chronic so called 'mistreatment', if we may💥💥💥

Looking back, my observation is that sometimes, that 'FINAL STRAW' can seem somewhat innocuous.  And sometimes, the person[s] involved seem to take things in stride.  However, just like the seemingly insignificant piece of straw finally did the camel in because he/she could NOT take any more WHEN a person reaches their so called 'BREAKING POINT'.  BUT, lo and behold, WHAT explains as to WHY many WHO reach that 'BREAKING POINT' seem hopeless from salvaging the situation???

NOW, here's the thing.  Merely 'SALVAGING' a relationship may NOT lead to the kind of long-lasting change that transforms it.  The huge flaw when rescuing OR salvaging a relationship is that its focus is mostly on 'CONTAINING' the negatives between the two beleaguered partners.  I DON'T sound to be like an expert [because I'm NOT] BUT WHEN a couple is on the verge of separation, WHAT'S really needed is for them to fully grasp the deeper dynamics of their relational distress.  Only then and they themselves can pinpoint NOT only WHAT'S led their 'couplehood' to go awry BUT also HOW they need to recreate their relationship into something far more conducive to mutual contentment💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WHILE we do grapple with zillions of problems in life, there are two things that could have reduced the probabilities of situations exacerbating.  Numero uno, some of us tend to ignore those tell-tale signs of a brewing disconnect that can widen before you knew it.  Numero dos, we tend to gloss over the THRESHOLDS in life.  In fact, sadly for some of us, 'THRESHOLDS' are NOT talking points OR they DON'T exist at all, NOT until things blow up right in their face.  Lesson?  WHERE POSSIBLE, NEVER REACH THE LAST STRAW OF A RELATIONSHIP❎❎❎