Why MOVING FORWARD Is PROGRESS!

Why MOVING FORWARD Is PROGRESS!

WHEN we think of PROGRESS, we often think of moving forward, making improvements and even achieving success.  However, defining PROGRESSION can be challenging as it may mean different things to different people.  PROGRESSION can refer to personal growth, societal advancement OR even technological innovation.  So, the question is, Why MOVING FORWARD Is PROGRESS!!!

From a personal perspective, PROGRESSION may mean improving oneself through education, career advancement, OR personal development.  As an example, someone may consider progressing in their career by achieving a promotion OR learning new skills to advance in their field.  On the other hand, someone else may view progression as achieving inner peace OR finding fulfillment in their personal life.  From a much broader societal perspective, PROGRESSION can refer to social, economic, OR political advancements.  For instance, a society may PROGRESS by providing equal opportunities for all citizens, reducing poverty OR even protecting human rights💦💦💦

Thing is, PROGRESS comes in different forms and shapes.  And NO one can claim his own strides of PROGRESS is the sole definition of what moving forward can be equated to PROGRESS.  BUT beyond all the talk about PROGRESSION, there are basic pre-requisites for it to shape up and happen.  First off, PROGRESSION requires vision.  Defining PROGRESSION requires having a clear vision of WHAT we want to achieve.  And that involves setting goals, even identifying obstacles and creating a plan to overcome them💥💥💥

Close to the heels of setting one's vision, PROGRESSION requires ACTION no less.  It's a no brainer here.  ACTION is needed to turn that vision into reality.  And that involves putting in the effort, taking risks, and making sacrifices to achieve our goals.  NOT far behind is the need for us to learn from failures.  Fact of the matter is that PROGRESSION is NOT always a linear path.  We may encounter setbacks and failures along the way, WHICH can provide valuable lessons for us😄😄😄

Our takeaway:  Lost in the maze in our discourse about PROGRESSION is the obvious need for collaboration.  PROGRESSION often involves working with others towards a common goal.  Collaboration would allow and enable us to pool our resources [and efforts], skills and knowledge in a concerted approach to achieve greater and more impacting results.  WHETHER it is for personal growth, societal advancement OR technological innovation, PROGRESSION is all about making positive changes and moving forward in our path to achieve our goals in life.  WHOEVER says that he feels embarrassed because he/she keeps moving forward with no PROGRESS is sheet baloney because MOVING FORWARD IS PROGRESS!!!

When Communications Clash

When Communications Clash

All along, WHAT we knew was that COMMUNICATIONS is the solution to almost all 'disconnects' that happen in life.  BUT it does befuddle me that sometimes [or likely many times], COMMUNICATIONS itself becomes part of the problem.  HOW can that be?  Indeed, it does become that ironical When Communications Clash.    WHEN in fact, we were always taught that COMMUNICATIONS is an art that everyone of us must master to find success.  Unfortunately, some poor methods of COMMUNICATIONS are so common [and quite chronically prevalent] that many of us AREN'T even aware of it, which causes things to go uphill📗📙📘

This conundrum has even brought about the need for COMMUNICATIONS coaches and a common refrain we hear from coaches is that a coaching client WON'T realize they need to break a BAD COMMUNICATIONS habit until their coach brings it up to them.  So, WHAT can we do to break them?  One of the worst ways to COMMUNICATE is by demonstrating a lack of empathy, particularly WHEN the message could impact another person💥💥💥

Through the years, I've witnessed first-hand [and many times I was guilty of this as well] WHEN messaging kicks-in even without first reflecting on the possible reaction of the receiving party.  Indeed, that is a surefire way to cause a dent OR even a damage to COMMUNICATIONS between two or more persons.  And BTW, how often do you react and respond in a quick 'lightning' speed simply because we want to sound that smart???

C'mon dude, taking a few minutes before responding to the issue [especially in a heated verbal exchange] can help build trust and even create space for more meaningful COMMUNICATIONS.  Problem is, BAD COMMUNICATION habits are often something that we are NOT aware of even within ourselves.  One bad habit that is often overlooked is interrupting others WHICH means, we do NOT allow them to finish their thought and can even make them feel unheard OR worse, feel ignored.  Next time, they may not even speak❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Taking either extremes of the spectrum is bad enough.  LIKE speaking too fast without even pausing.  HOW can we give the listeners the opportunity to digest WHAT was said OR to even ask questions?  In our desire to share as much information as possible, it is easy to forget that silence is a necessary component of COMMUNICATIONS.  Indeed, when COMMUNICATIONS clash!@#?

When Expectations Can Either Be GOOD Or BAD

When Expectations Can Either Be GOOD Or BAD

This is not an EITHER OR stuff kind of thing but throughout our life, we'll all go through the gamut, sometimes savoring our WINs, at times struggling When Expectations Can Either Be GOOD Or BAD.  BUT we won't waste time on the GOOD stuff.  BUT instead let's deep-dive as to WHAT triggers the trajectory of our EXPECTATIONS to go on an upswing, sometimes, too steep for even the top-notch Mt Everest climber📗📙📘

Hardships can push someone to have higher EXPECTATIONS because they want to improve their life circumstances.  While others, WHO have an easy life and obtain things without OR with very little effort, if at all, may NOT have that drive to achieve MORE in life.  BUT the real downside of higher EXPECTATIONS is that it can cause frustration, disappointment, anger, anxiety, stress, discouragement, resentment and sometimes that sense of FAILURE❎❎❎

WHAT's palpable here is an apparent disconnect because EXPECTATIONS are WHAT we think will happen WHILE reality is WHAT actually transpires.  And WHILE we hope these two will match up, they often DON'T.  This disparity of EXPECTATIONS versus reality can often lead to feelings of discontentment, and worse, even unhappiness.  The long and short of it, everything boils down to EXPECTATIONS😊😊😊

While EXPECTATIONS can play an important role in determining WHAT happens and can contribute to goal-directed behavior, they can also lead to disappointment WHEN reality does NOT match up to WHAT you hoped would happen.  Some signs that one might hold EXPECTATIONS include anticipating a certain outcome, holding a vision in your mind of HOW things will play out OR having a set idea of WHAT you want OR need from a situation.  YES, when EXPECTATIONS are NOT met, it can lead to feelings of disappointment, frustration and worst, even anger💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  DON'T get me wrong though despite this litany of downsides arising from EXPECTATIONS because let's admit it, we need EXPECTATIONS.  WHY?  They anchor us.  They help us navigate the world better because we can expect certain things.  Hindsight can sometimes be 20/20.  Admittedly, from my past, when I did apply half myself, I got half the results.  It's just that people like it BUT aren't loving it.  And when I fully applied it in the past [and even till now], I got full results.  It's just that people would either love it OR they WOULD hate it.  Now, much as there are universal laws, I like the idea of having the EXPECTATION that if I follow my core values, priorities and desires, if I follow my meaning and purpose, I will experience joy.  This is one of the upsides of EXPECTATIONS after all💦💦💦

No Place for Self-destructive Behaviors

No Place for Self-destructive Behaviors

At some point in our lives, everyone of us should have been guilty [at the very least once OR twice] for condoning our own SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS.  In fact, just about everyone has.  And most of the time, it's NOT intentional and indeed, many times, it DOESN'T become a habit.  In fact, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE behaviors are those that are bound to be detrimental to you, to oneself, either mentally, emotionally OR worst, even physically [and even if it happens unintentionally].  No Place for Self-destructive Behaviors📗📙📘

Besides being unintentional most of the time, sometimes we may know exactly WHAT we're doing BUT that urge is too strong to even avoid OR control it.  At times, it may be due to earlier life experiences.  And albeit scaringly, sometimes it can also be related to a mental health condition such as depression OR anxiety.  BUT before we delve into it, let's align in defining SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORs💧💧💧

And contrary to a widespread misconception, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS are not just limited to compulsive activities [like gambling OR gaming], OR even overusing alcohol and drugs BUT those SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS can be seemingly harmless like INTERRUPTING OTHERS WHEN YOU WANT TO SPEAK, like making everything about themselves, like creating UNNECESSARY DRAMA, like initiating JOKES AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS, among others💦💦💦

Does this sound like you?  If it's you making jokes about others, pay attention to how your words are hitting.  Try to put yourself in their own shoes and HOW do you feel if someone talked about you that way.  And if you go much deeper, let's ask yourself if you have an issue with that person?  OR are you simply nervous and trying to be funny just to break a brewing tension?  Either way, it behooves that you CUT and CUT CLEAN from a seemingly petty BUT quite SELF-DESTRUCTIVE behavior❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  It  may seem to be a non-issue but without really nitpicking, it will help to look around to recognize some traits that people around you OR you interact with exhibit OR manifest any of these SELF-DESTRUCTIVE behaviors.  By increasing our awareness and incisiveness around us, we need to be mindful that we CAN'T just ignore our own imperfections and simply focus on others.  That just WON'T get us far ahead.  As NOT one of us is even near-perfect, we are duty-bound to identify the areas we need to improve and work on.  The next time [IF EVER] you feel the urge to manifest any of these SELF-DESTRUCTIVE behaviors, remind yourself of HOW it makes you feel WHEN you are on the receiving end.  There's simply NO PLACE for SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS❗❗❗

Let's Stop Being PEOPLE-PLEASER

Let's Stop Being PEOPLE-PLEASER

Once upon a time, I was a PEOPLE-PLEASER, indeed a real pushover.  Honestly, I DIDN'T know WHERE other people ended and began and my decisions were based on WHAT would make other people happy OR comfortable.  I remember I was a neophyte in the workforce and here I come stepping into the confines of a blue-chip global organization.  And alas, for the very first time in my life, I was getting introduced in working with expat executives from the U.K., the Netherlands, Venezuela and Japan.  And for quite a number of years, I was literally going with the flow.  WHEN a social 'instigator' will organize an out-of-town sortie, I remember being one of the first to signup to every suggestion, every idea, every proposition. All along, I thought that made me easygoing, likable, and generally pretty cool.  Little did I know that it really just made me lost, confused and pretty much unlikable.  I realized that WHEN you go through life as a PEOPLE-PLEASER, you AREN'T living on your own terms.  Unfortunately, I learned that years after.   Let's Stop Being PEOPLE-PLEASER📗📙📘

All along, I [wrongly] thought that I was being nice, likeable, agreeable and even 'drama-free'.  BUT years after those 'lost years', I realized that keeping  your true self beneath the surface DOESN'T do anyone any favors.  Instead, it just results in you being surrounded by rude, selfish, and sometimes unforgiving people WHO, instead of appreciating that you've put their needs first, things end up with them treating you like a doormat.  Indeed, that was despicable to say the least😂😂😂

My personal realization in my past ordeals is that we CAN'T use PEOPLE-PLEASING in the same way other people use drugs, alcohol or even chronic shopping as a way to avoid the discomfort of others' disapproval.  And WHEN it came to being disliked, invalidated OR perceived as being in the wrong side of things, I thought I was a 'BIG BABY' then.  Those times, I could get into my 'child traumas' and the events that prompted my need to PLEASE PEOPLE💧💧💧

BUT what is of most paramount importance in all these is the real story how I [STILL] ended up overcoming my PEOPLE PLEASING dilemma.  Because if you're anything like I was then, you know that at some point, you just have to STOP trying to PLEASE others and do something for yourself for a change, at the very least.  Sitting around and praying for people to understand how much pressure they put on you, OR hoping they'll one day lessen their demands [OR call it drama?] is futile.  Without changing their own  behaviors this kind of wishing and hoping ISN'T just foolish, it's straight up counterproductive.  Good grief, my own realizations DIDN'T come so late, otherwise I could be like a 'wreak', huhu❎❎❎

My takeaway:  To reach my realizations, I went back to bare knuckles basic rudiments in life.  Like becoming SELF-AWARE as WHEN we invite our thoughts and feelings into awareness, we have that opportunity to learn from them.  Doing this, it gave me a better handle on my impulse to please and allowed me to notice WHEN I WASN'T being helpful.  To cap it off, I did realize that doing too much hurts, rather than helps, even relationships.  WHY?  Because even if your intentions were good, they ultimately hindered the overall effectiveness of relationships.  LET'S STOP BEING PEOPLE-PLEASERs💥💥💥

You Can Have A Thousand Problems UNTIL....

You Can Have A Thousand Problems UNTIL....

Martin Luther King, the famous and respected American minister and activist was widely quoted: "IF YOU CAN'T FLY, THEN RUN.  IF YOU CAN'T RUN, THEN WALK.  IF YOU CAN'T WALK, THEN CRAWL BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, YOU HAVE TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD".  This brings us a full-circle back to life and frankly to our own health.  Whatever is your life journey, and even if you end up successful in your endeavors be it in the corporate world OR in your burgeoning entrepreneurial forays, we all share a common denominator and that's our HEALTH!!!  Frankly though, if we take a random survey across and inquire about each of the problems that beset us NOW, each of us could be holding on to a mile-long list of problems.  Imagine that hodge-podge list of problems ranging from family problems to financial problems to legal problems, and YES, even those "IN-LAW" problems, so on and so on.  BUT dude, You Can Have A Thousand Problems UNTIL ONE DAY, knock on wood, you will get hit with a HEALTH PROBLEM and suddenly, YOU GOT ONE PROBLEM

This time, please allow me to quote American author and coach, Tony Robbins, WHO says:  A HEALTHY PERSON HAS A HUNDRED WISHES BUT A SICK PERSON HAS ONLY ONE. Whew!  This is an eye-opener, right?  HOW and WHY in the world, in our normal lives, we're so preoccupied with a thousand things [or probably a hundred stuff], cracking our head to find an answer for each one.  For that pitiful fellow languishing with an illness, VERY LIKELY, he's got only ONE SINGLE WISH, and it's about his health

Surely, there's NOTHING to argue OR debate that we are all aligned that our HEALTH is the 'primus inter pares', the first among equals, assuming you have tons and tons of priorities in life.  So, ISN'T it just fair and rational that we consider to endeavor simplifying our respective complex [and sometimes, ultra complex] situations BY just having our HEALTH at the top of the totem pole, and everything else sharing the bed crumbs of our attention?  While I have the lowest credibility to share medical advice, all studies and researches have consistently confirmed that our preoccupation with that mile-long list of problems INDIRECTLY [ IF NOT directly] either initiate, plant the seeds OR simply worsen a 'bad' situation, all because of this five-letter magic word spelled S-T-R-E-S-S???

And knock on wood, WHEN a health issue does hit us, only then we would realize that we should NOT be consumed with wealth, with properties, with intra-family squabbles, with workplace woes and NOT even financials [much as that is damn basic] because everything gets relegated at the background, all because of health issues.  Ironically, even medical experts opine that STRESS [which is exacerbated by our tons and tons of problems, again NO thanks to that long list of so called 'problems' that is consuming us mentally, emotionally and even psychologically.  At the end of the day, everything 'RESETS' once we get hit with a health issue

Our takeaway:  Let's spare a minute OR two and do a look-up of this 'mind map' I grabbed.  The messaging is plain and simple, cutting all the unnecessary crap.  THAT we got to endeavor to achieve that HAPPINESS [which sometimes can be elusive] regardless if we tend to be disturbed OR distracted with that slew of problems that can practically consume us and 'eat us alive'.  Heard of narratives WHERE someone dutifully saved and saved for the 'rainy days' and WHEN he was hospitalized for an illness, the hospital bills simply gobbled up all those savings in ONE BIG BANG.  And at that point, he went into a RESET, not thinking anymore of his previous preoccupation with worries and issues related to family, financial, work, legal and even community-related issues.  WHY?  By then, he realized that he's got only one single problem to grapple with, and that's his HEALTH.  Yes dude, YOU CAN HAVE A THOUSAND PROBLEMS UNTIL YOU GET HIT WITH A HEALTH PROBLEM!@#$%?

Correlation Is NOT Causation

Correlation Is NOT Causation

How often you [and me as well] would be correlating things and end up making an assumption that becomes conclusive [BUT very much shaky because that assumption CAN'T stand on its own].  Let's pry into typical 'GIRL's TALK' wherein a girl tells another girl that she had her hair 'rebonded' because she received her 13th month pay?  OR someone is dressed to a 'T' because he/she will attend a social event?  BUT Correlation Is NOT Causation📘📙📗

Fact is, CORRELATION does NOT imply CAUSATION.  And YET, this seems NOT to stop people from drawing casual inferences from correlational statements .  In fact, we show that people do in fact infer casuality from statements of association under minimal conditions.  Indeed, researches show that people draw pragmatic inferences from ambiguous OR incomplete utterances💥💥💥

Oh, let's have more relatable examples, like when your mobile phone freezes while sending text [SMS] messages.  We might be tempted to make an outright conclusion that your incessant texting caused your mobile phone to freeze.  BUT likely that is NOT the valid root cause.  It could be that your mobile phone's RAM memory is insufficient and that could be caused either by a low RAM memory OR even a high memory that was 'gobbled up' by another mobile app😉😉😉

Problem is, our global village is littered with CORRELATIONS getting equated to CAUSATION.  LIke people with bigger feet mean they are better readers?  LIke if people with fewer black and white TVs, global warming will worsen?  Like, WHEN a continent's name does NOT start with 'A' means that most people born there AREN'T white?  Like WHEN most people die in avalanches WHEN sales of snow chains go up?  We can go and on BUT such is that human frailty of adding 1 + 1💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  Sometimes we humans do have this tendency to either over-simplify a complex situation or conversely, we sometimes tend to complicate even the simplest situations.  Like drowning will NOT lead you to eat more ice cream and it is even highly unlikely that eating more ice cream will dramatically increase one's risk of drowning, so obviously, there can be a strong correlation between two variables without a direct casual relationship.  Conversely, there are correlations that strongly imply CAUSATION, like ice cream sales will shoot up because of high temperatures.  So, by and large, CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION [except except]💥💥💥

Check The Facts BEFORE INSTINCTS Kick-in

Check The Facts BEFORE INSTINCTS Kick-in

Our trust in intuition is understandable.  People have always sought to put their faith in mystical forces when confronted with confusion.  BUT again, we could be threading in dangerous waters here because in reality, we CAN'T just ignore our own instincts any more than you should ignore your own conscience.  BUT if there's anyone WHO thinks that intuition is a substitute for reason will be indulging in a quite risky delusion.  Detached from rigorous analysis, intuition is a fickle and an undependable guide at that.  You got to really Check The Facts BEFORE INSTINCTS Kick-in📗📙📘

Doing so may lead one to disaster as to success.  And while the most vociferous argument is that intuition becomes more valuable in highly complex and even changeable environments, the stark truth is that the opposite is actually true.  The more options you have to evaluate, the more data you have to weigh, and the more unprecedented the challenges you face, the less you should rely on instinct and the more on reason and analysis.  BUT can we analyze more in less time.  Yes, technology will address that BUT c'mon, in real life, let's set aside technology because this is our life💦💦💦

Albert Einstein, the great genius, was asked, he blurted 'I BELIEVE IN INSTUITIONS'.  He reckoned that it was much better to trust those instincts and test them later than to dismiss them outright.  Global lifestyle brand Coco Chanel has the same strategy, 'FASHION IS IN THE AIR, BORN UPON THE WIND.  ONE INTUITS IT'💧💧💧

True, sometimes it can be indeed tempting to view our gut instincts as a kind of mysterious 'sixth sense' BUT again, there is NO need to appeal to the paranormal to explain intuition.  The past decades, psychologists had numerous studies with regard our gut instincts and they have identified specific situations in which our intuitions is likely to lead us down to the eventual right path💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WHAT muddles our situation is that with the boundless influence of social media, the lightning speed the way information and MINSINFORMATION gets transmitted instantly obliterates the need for us to CHECK the facts quite tragically, instead of CHECKING the facts, we would assuage and assure ourselves that the sender of that message [be it your bestie OR bff] is NEVER one who peddles FAKE NEWS.  BUT WHAT assures you that your bestie OR bff was NOT a victim of FAKE NEWS?  So, please let us CHECK THE FACTS BEFORE INSTINCTS KICK-IN❗❗❗

Relationships Are NOT Fixes

Relationships Are NOT Fixes!@#$%?

Surely, many of us [and that includes moi] were, at some points in the past, were waylaid based on the premise that Relationships Are Fixes BUT hey dude, Relationships Are NOT Fixes, NOT at all.  Many times in the past, I was legitimately aware of wonderful relationships of people I know on first hand basis.  I even remember their random texted questions punctuated with the same angst and 'IS THIS OKAY-ness' of the first few months of relationships.  Oh YES, we all know that, all the blissfulness during that honeymoon phase, NOT UNTIL many months later, you realized that THE PARTY'S OVER📗📙📘

BUT hey, I'm sorry for the confusion, our thread today is NOT about relationships at all.  Instead, we'd like to tackle circumstances WHEN we get confronted with our zillion issues in life sometimes, we [VERY WRONGLY] thought that by plunging into a relationship, that FIXES our issues.  NO WAY, Jose!!!  WHY?  Simple and straightforward.  NO other human can FIX you except you YOURSELF.  And let's do admit that many times, we ourselves CAN'T FIX our very own selves.  And if you inject relationships into that equation, you're doomed, dude💥💥💥

True, I'll be the very first to defend the unsullied proposition that relationships are good and amazing BUT dude, it's NOT enough.  And once we [sometimes unconsciously] shift the onus and responsibility to another person, you are now implying that your FIX to your issue is another 'person-dependent' one?  If so, WHY do you need to work on it yourself???

Frankly, once we place the blame of our anger, selfishness and lack of communications skills on others, we tend to be sidestepping our personal responsibility.  And that's running away from the issue at hand!!!  WHAT happens next is that leads us to issues that will only tend to become compounding because we have, by default, relinquished from the responsibility standing on our shoulders.  BUT hold on, we can still leverage on relationships much as we front the solutioning💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  There is NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL.  You got to labor and exert efforts coupled with sweat [and sometimes frustration] to pin down the eventual FIX of your issue.  YES your relationship can give you those sporadic inspirations BUT please DON'T just dump the whole issue on that relationship.  it just DOESN'T work that way.  RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT FIXES, dude💦💦💦

That Huge Diversity of HUMAN EMOTIONS

That Huge Diversity of HUMAN EMOTIONS

We all could believe that we are schooled and informed enough.  BUT do we know that there are 34,000 different HUMAN EMOTIONS?  YES, thirty four thousand no less, whew!  And recently WHEN I watched INSIDE OUT 2, it was the latest affirmation of the diversity of HUMAN EMOTIONS. That Huge Diversity of HUMAN EMOTIONS tells me that INSIDE OUT 2 was more than just an animated film📗📙📘

Instead, it was a profound exploration of the human emotional experience, highlighting the importance of all EMOTIONS, NOT just happiness.  It reminds us as well that understanding and embracing our EMOTIONS while prioritizing positive relationships does foster that sense of safety and belonging despite the challenges we encounter in life.  And while many scientists agree that EMOTIONS are universal, they see the sociological perspective💎💎💎

Digging into the sociological perspective of EMOTIONS, we can piece together feelings and emotions, exploring their role in human motivation.  True, many argue that EMOTIONS are inherited and biological BUT still shaped by historical, social, and even political contexts.  And psychologists coined the jargon EMOTIONAL LABOR when managing feeling and behaviors to show certain EMOTIONS publicly💦💦💦

All these lead me to the realization as to how central EMOTIONS are to our humanity.  And while some argue that love is NOT an emotion in the strictest sense.  And in INSIDE OUT 2, it does hint that these deeper connections help us to understand WHAT they reveal about ourselves.  And the wild card here is the oppressive pressures in our environment❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Let us expand and stretch out our intestinal fortitude to co-exist with the 34,000 HUMAN EMOTIONS hovering around us.  UNTIL and UNLESS we expand our awareness across this diversity, we can anticipate that from to time, there will be disconnects and shortfalls insofar as how we handle the EMOTIONAL variable of the equations in our life.  Indeed, there is that HUGE DIVERSITY of HUMAN EMOTIONS💦💦💦