Want To CHANGE YOUR LIFE?

Want To CHANGE YOUR LIFE?

Want To CHANGE YOUR LIFE?  Oh Oh Oh, It sounds good.  I wanna hear that.  I wanna join that bandwagon.  Unfortunately, when CHANGE is looming, we CAN'T really be thankful with anxiety.  True, our nervous ancestors noticed the caved lion first and saved the whole tribe.  BUT now that we live between a washing machine and a computer, we DON'T need this crazy alarm to ring dozens of times every day📗📙📘

Oh, you might wonder the timeliness of our topic today?  Should be timely because this is normally the time of the year when we draft and craft our NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONs for the Nth time!@#? So, can we start this CHANGE OUR LIFE initiative by asking ourselves if we still need that irritating alarm clock every morning?  Let's face it, some people are even afraid it'll go off any minute, so they lock themselves up in the house.  BUT even in your own bed, likely you would still feel that immaterial bitch pervading📌📌📌

If we look around, there is always someone in the world who grew up in a similar place, time and situation as us, WHO managed to CHANGE their life for the better.  BUT just because it's possible to CHANGE our life DOESN'T mean it is easy.  I myself, I've made considerable CHANGES in my life more times than I can count.  And whether I was changing my perspective, career, or the country I lived in, I learned one thing💎💎💎

THAT is, to truly CHANGE my life, I first needed to CHANGE myself.  Easier said than, right?  STILL, whether you want to be get motivated, BECOME YOUR OWN BOSS, OR as one says, MOVE TO ITALY, LEARN ITALIAN, FALL IN LOVE, OPEN A RESTAURANT, there you go.  Without dilly-dallying, let's roll up our sleeves for us to CHANGE OUR LIFE✅✅✅

Primero, make that DECISION TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE.  It may sound obvious BUT perhaps this is the most difficult part of changing your life.  BTW, I've met many people in the past who confided that they wanted to CHANGE their life BUT can't.  WHY?  Because it's tough to change your life.  REALLY TOUGH.  In fact, CHANGING YOUR LIFE may be the most challenging and most uncomfortable thing you will ever do but be forewarned that at first, the first stride will really be scary.  BUT, WANT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE❓❓❓

Can SILENCE Be Powerful?

Can SILENCE Be Powerful?

Can SILENCE Be Powerful? Unfortunately, regardless of culture. SILENCE has always had an 'uncomfortable' relationship with us all.  Studies show that the typical gap between when one person STOPS and another person STARTS speaking is just about 200 milliseconds long, which is just a fraction of a second.  Another study shows that people start to get uncomfortable when the gap stretches to 4 seconds, whew📗📙📘

So, can we guess WHAT happens when the gap breaches 5 seconds?  I bet one of you rushes to fill the void.  I have to admit this, all throughout my work-life, when I share and cascade my own best practices to our teammates, one of the rules I would constantly reinforce is that as a speaker, if you become silent for 5 seconds, that's long enough to lead your audience to yawn or worst, even catch a quick nap.  BUT this is NO fault though by the speaker who pauses for 5 seconds💴💷💵

Indeed, SILENCE is hard to maintain and that's WHY mastering the void between words can be a true superpower.  And these reminds me of negotiators because they have mastered beyond doubt the art of SILENCE.  Like you make your counterpart talk first and you've shown that you are in CONTROL.  Eventually, chances are, they will give up ground💎💎💎

Which reminds me of CSI, those crime investigations wherein the investigator will start to pry valuable information out of a criminal suspect, with the investigator seated across without speaking, maintaining the eye contact long and very long enough and eventually, most people will end up spilling their guts, voila.  To quote Charles De Gaulle, the famous former president of France: 'SILENCE IS THE ULTIMATE WEAPON OF POWER'📌📌📌

Studies show that there is another benefit to conquering SILENCE, however, one that has less to do with getting information than it does with deepening human connection.  Unfortunately, very few on this planet are naturally gifted to leverage on the POWER of SILENCE but that should NOT stop us from embracing SILENCE because SILENCE CAN BE POWERFUL✅✅✅

How Far Gratitude Can Go?

 How Far Gratitude Can Go?

How Far Gratitude Can Go? OR taking a step back, do we need to talk about GRATITUDE?  As they say, it is DAMN EASY to feel GRATEFUL when LIFE IS GOOD but WHEN disaster strikes, GRATITUDE is worth the effort.  This CAN'T be farther from the truth.  THAT when life is going well, GRATITUDE allows us to celebrate and even magnify the goodness.  BUT what about when life goes on a downturn and goes badly?  The recent pandemic is a classic case and we can count through our fingers as to HOW MANY people were ever [IF AT ALL] manifesting GRATEFULNESS as that pandemic persisted for three years📗📙📘

Under such dire circumstances, I am quite certain we will be drowned with 'NAYs' but hey, according to psychologists, it is precisely under those 'CRISIS CONDITIONS' when we have the most to gain by a GRATEFUL perspective on life.  In the face of demoralization, GRATITUDE has the power to energize us💎💎💎

In the face of BROKENESS,  GRATITUDE has the power to heal.  In the face of DESPAIR, GRATITUDE has the power to bring hope.  In the shortest word, GRATITUDE can help us cope even or especially in HARD TIMES.  A quick clarification though.  I'm not implying here that GRATITUDE will come easily OR naturally in a crisis.  On the other hard, it will be DAMN HARD because human nature tells us that it is EASY to feel GRATEFUL for the GOOD THINGS.  No one feels GRATEFUL that they lost a job or a home or good health  or has taken a devastating hit in his business forays💊💊💊

Now, before we get mixed up, please allow me to make a distinction between FEELING GRATEFUL versus BEING GRATEFUL.  And let's face it, we DON'T have total control over our emotions.  We CAN'T easily will ourselves to feel GRATEFUL, less depressed or happy.  Feelings follow from the way we look at the world, thoughts we have about the way things are, the way things should be, and the distance between those two points.  BUT BUT BUT, being GRATEFUL is a choice, a prevailing attitude that endures and is relatively immune to the GAINS & LOSSES that flow in and out of our lives.  When disaster strikes, GRATITUDE provides a perspective from which we can view life in its entirety📌📌📌

TRIALS & SUFFERINGS can actually refine and deepen GRATEFULNESS if we allow them to show us NOT to take things for granted.  We have a family friend who went through the ordeal of her breast cancer illness and endless rounds of chemotherapy.  Long story short, she has 'miraculously' survived her health ordeals and when we ever spoke to her these days, her GRATEFULNESS was so consistently manifested all over her life till now.  Indeed, when times are GOOD, people take prosperity for granted and begin to believe that they are invulnerable.  In times of UNCERTAINTY, though, people realize how powerless they are to control their destiny.  This is HOW FAR GRATITUDE CAN GO, dude✅✅✅

Have You Hit Your GROWTH CEILING Yet?

Have You Hit Your GROWTH CEILING Yet?

Have You Hit Your GROWTH CEILING Yet?  Well, everyone wants GROWTH.  Whether it's the GROWTH of your academic performance, your work performance, the state of health of your relationship[s], your business revenue, your profit and even your social media network, these are all part of our human aspirations BUT the truth of the matter is that, regardless of one's GROWTH trajectory, at some point, you will be hitting your CEILING⏳⏳⏳

Before we put the cart in front of the horse, let's dig farther how can we detect if we did hit our GROWTH CEILING, whether in our personal life or even in your business forays?  Primero, DO YOU KEEP SPINNING THE WHEEL WITHOUT GAINING TRACTION?  Surely, some of us went through that situation.  Let's take the case of an aspiring basketball player who spends hours and hours in his shooting exercises📌📌📌

After that hoopster managed to hit an average of 20 points per game, relentlessly he never stopped his day-in day-out shooting trainings YET after so many months, his average points per game was NOT off his 20-point mark.  A concrete case of HITTING YOUR CEILING and NOT gaining traction.  Think of those situations that you seem to be on the same level for a long time💊💊💊

OR when it's regard your set goals, have you been UNABLE to reach your goals in a certain area, month after month out OR year in year out?  OR do you lack a clear vision for WHAT life will look like after you finally get the momentum going in a certain area?  OR if you're running a business or organization, do you feel that you've LOST CONTROL❓❓❓

Our takeaway for today tells us that if indeed you realized you HIT YOUR CEILING, it does NOT follow that that's the farthest you can go.  Instead, it may imply that you need to go back to your DRAWING BOARD, re-strategize, re-plan, re-plot.  Just DON'T STOP & GIVE UP because the GOOD NEWS is that your GROWTH CEILING is way beyond what you thought all along❗❗❗

How THANK YOU Matters

How THANK YOU Matters

HOW THANK YOU MATTERS will keep us tied up the next 5 minutes or so BUT I hope that's the best utilized 5 minutes ever for us.  Oh, we were all taught to be courteous and say THANK YOU so, from our childhood all the way to our adulthood, saying THANK YOU was part and parcel of our demeanor, habits and character all rolled into one. Not so fast though📌📌📌

Ironically, I'm starting to believe that THANK YOU is the most under-appreciated and under-used phrase in our life.  Yes it is appropriate in nearly any situation and it is a better response than most of the things we say.  Let's look back at the more common situations  when we say all sorts of things BUT should say THANK YOU📗📙📘

Do we hear someone complimenting your attire and you retort, 'OH THIS IS ONE OF MY OLD STUFF IN MY CLOSET' instead of reacting like 'THANK YOU I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT'.  OR when you played the best basketball and someone says "WOW YOUR 20 POINTS IS THE BEST' and you retort 'BUT I MISSED THAT 3-POINT SHOT' but there is something empowering about fully accepting a compliment.  WHEN you deflect praise, you CAN'T really own it.  And you just say THANK YOU, you let the weight of the compliment sink in and become yours💎💎💎

In fact, saying THANK YOU gives your mind permission to be built up by the compliments you receive.  Getting compliments should be fun and enjoyable BUT we often ruin that rare of an experience.  It's just really needless to sabotage compliments that come your way.  Accept them with grace and enjoy the moment of course✅✅✅

Now, how many times did we arrive late in an event or engagement?  BTW, being late is the worst thing to happen.  It's more stressful for the person WHO is running late and it's more disrespectful to the person WHO is waiting.  It might seem strange to THANK someone for dealing with your hassle, right?  BUT that's exactly the correct response.  Most people stumble in the door and say "SORRY I'M LATE".  Problem with that response is that it makes the situation 'ABOUT YOU'.  Saying THANK YOU turns the tables around and acknowledges the sacrifice the other person made for waiting❌❌❌

Our CONSCIOUS Versus UNCONSCIOUS Mind

Our CONSCIOUS Versus UNCONSCIOUS Mind

How are we going along during all our hours we're awake?  Very likely, almost everyone is either engaged on his tasks and/or activities and only a slim number will admit they are idle and that even their minds are that idle.  This is where we need to have a much deeper appreciation of Our CONSCIOUS Versus UNCONSCIOUS Minds⚓⚓⚓

As per all these collaterals, our CONSCIOUS MIND can be said to be everything which we are currently aware of.  WHEREAS the UNCONSCIOUS MIND is everything that makes us WHO we are that we are NOT aware of.  And this could include such things as our memory BUT it could also extend to our awareness of our physical self.  A common way of explaining the relationship between our CONSCIOUS and UNCONSCIOUS minds is the metaphor of the iceberg wherein where you see the tip of the iceberg, you're seeing only 10% of what is there.  The rest is below the surface📌📌📌

Our memory is a good example of both the CONSCIOUS and UNCONSCIOUS minds.  A memory is stored in our 'LONG TERM' memory [UNCONSCIOUS] but it can be transferred into our awareness and thus become the CONSCIOUS mind.  Now what sense is this thread bringing to us now?  C'mon dude, UNCONSCIOUS assumptions can affect the way we do things💎💎💎

Now, have we sometimes experienced in the past wherein something may look familiar from when you have had the feeling that you know something BUT are not quite there yet.  That feeling usually indicates that something is in the preconscious and can be brought to conscious awareness, often by ignoring it and allowing the process of transfer to occur naturally❗❗❗

Our takeaway for these considerations between our CONSCIOUS and UNCONSCIOUS minds is that we need to be cautious and mindful that some of our actions [and especially reactions] are directly influenced by both our CONSCIOUS and UNCONSCIOUS minds.  The pitfall lies there when the assumptions [from our UNCONSCIOUS mind] is quite unfounded because that goes from a wrong assumption to a wrong action or reaction.  In brief, before taking an action or reaction, be cautious if wrong assumptions come into play❎❎❎

Should We Be More CURIOUS?

Should We Be More CURIOUS?

Should We Be More CURIOUS?  Too bad the old school taught us that CURIOSITY is for the kids, the non-adults.  BUT numerous studies have shown that the BENEFITS of CURIOSITY cuts across both children and adults alike with the benefits linked with psychological, social, emotional and even health benefits.  BUT in the past, we were [wrongly] told that the benefits of CURIOSITY is limited to the intellectual side📶📶📶

Surprisingly, the results of studies listed benefits that DIDN'T require huge efforts to be exerted.  LIKE CURIOSITY helps us survive.  THAT urge to explore helps us remain vigilant and gain knowledge about our constantly changing environment.  LIKE CURIOSITY makes people are happier.  Researches have shown that CURIOSITY has always been associated with HIGHER levels of positive emotions, LOWER levels of anxiety, MORE satisfaction with life and greater psychological well-being🔍🔍🔍

LIKE CURIOSITY boosts achievements.  Studies reveal that CURIOSITY leads to more enjoyment and participation in school and higher academic achievement as well as greater learning, engagement, and even performance at work.  It may seem like common sense, BUT when we are more CURIOUS, it is easier to get involved, to put effort in💊💊💊

LIKE CURIOSITY can expand our empathy.  When we are CURIOUS about others and talk to people outside our usual social circle, we become better able to understand those with lives, experiences, and worldviews different than our own.  LIKE CURIOSITY helps strengthen relationships.  There was one study which asked strangers to pose and answer personal questions and they found out that people were warmer if they showed CURIOSITY📌📌📌

LIKE CURIOSITY improves healthcare.  Research suggests that when doctors are genuinely CURIOUS about their patients' perspectives, both doctors and patients report LESS anger and frustration and instead, make BETTER decisions, ultimately increasing the effectiveness of a medical treatment.  Indeed, there are one too many INTANGIBLE benefits that should be more than enough reason for us all to be constantly MORE CURIOUS than ever✅✅✅

Quit While You're Ahead

Quit While You're Ahead

Have you ever achieved a PERSONAL BEST and then relaxed a bit afterwards, nit pushing yourself?  If so, WHAT are the implications of such behavior on your future performance?  Let's listen around and with the best intentions, we would hear:  i WANT TO BE A BETTER RUNNER.  I WANT TO BE A BETTER BIKER.  I WANT TO BE A BETTER STUDENT.  Good enough, there are quantitative performance measures that will tell us HOW good are we at something.  These quantitative ratings help us think about HOW to develop things like goals to push us to become better, to improve ourselves.  BUT let us NOT get lost with this reminder that where possible, Quit While You're Ahead💴💷💵

BUT here's the 'BIG BUT'.  It's really a tricky process to figure out what the right GOAL is to set for yourself.  GOALS are the double-edged sword.  They're double-edged in the sense that they can be motivating.  If you're just short of a GOAL, you're going to put in some effort to surpass it.  BUT once you surpass it, it becomes demotivating, so you tend to take your foot off the gas pedal.  So that's the bind.  Question is, how can we hurdle that?  So what's our take?  Consider CALIBRATED GOALS along the way📗📙📘

If a personal-best GOAL seems too easy, you're going to surpass it quickly.  It will be RESET.  If it's too difficult, well, it's never really too difficult in the sense that you've achieved it before, so it's definitely within the realm of possibility.  And so, WHAT we do is we show that this operates as a GOAL in the manner that it's motivating WHEN you're just short of it and demotivating WHEN you just pass it💎💎💎

There have been many common stories when somebody is trying to reach a personal GOAL, there's that level of COMPETITION from people WHO want to succeed.  So, if somebody has reached the GOAL and they take a break, do they lose that level of COMPETITION?  That's the thing because by the time one reaches that level, one tends to be excited and one may NOT want to taper off, so the tendency is to STOP!@#$%?

One thing concluded by various studies is that people have surmised that maybe is the wrong thing to do considering you're at your BEST level [when you quit].  BUT this is when one should be playing, that kind of counter-intuitive attitude.  What perplexes me are some of the SUCCESS STORIES who kept pursuing their personal best even after they've gotten there.  Point is, much as we DON'T want to lose that competitive nature, weigh things if QUITTING WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD is an option✅✅✅

Are 'MICRO HABITS' Relevant?

 Are 'MICRO HABITS' Relevant?

Are 'MICRO HABITS' Relevant?  To quote American author John Maxwell: 'YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE YOUR LIFE UNTIL YOU CHANGE SOMETHING YOU DO DAILY'.  The very enticing thing about MICRO HABITS is that most, in fact all of them, entail small efforts but the results could be HUGE or GREAT.  That's the thing about MICRO HABITS, they seem insignificant on their own BUT they can drive a huge difference in our lives.  Plus, MICRO HABITs require very little commitment to breaking a BAD HABIT and becoming a powerful tool for starting NEW HABITs💴💷💵

Thing is, we CAN'T rely on WILLPOWER alone to get us through procrastination and help us achieve great things in life.  WILLPOWER is finite, and it fades AS NIGHT FALLS.  So, in order to achieve great things in life, we must establish systems and HABITS that support our journey toward meaningful GOALS.  So, let's go to rattle off the MICRO HABITS that are now our LOW-HANGING FRUITS📗📙📘

Primero, WRITE DOWN YOUR IDEAS, no matter how they seem so minor or petty.  One issue with ideas is that relying on our [limited] memory to recall them will likely fail us.  Through the years, I did develop this MICRO HABIT to write down an idea that pops-up.  The past years when we got locked out by that pandemic, I leveraged on my iPhone notepad💎💎💎

Segundo, TAKE A PAUSE BEFORE YOU RESPOND.  This happens to everyone of us. WHEN we are in the middle of a heated argument [with emotions sometimes mixing it up], easily we will get get carried away by our emotions and even behave in ways that we will later regret.  So, before answering or reacting, PAUSE or if possible, remove yourself from that 'heated' situation❎❎❎

All along, we have been harping GOALS GOALS GOALS but come to think of it, hands down, even MICRO HABITS will easily beat GOALS.  Tercero, READ something everyday.  In this information age where our BRAINS are burned with cheap DOPAMINE from short videos and other forms of content that are robbing us of our FOCUS on a SINGLE-ACTIVITY, reading is both beneficial for our mind.  Yes dude, even MICRO HABITS are relevant❗❗❗

How Far Can Our SELF-DISCIPLINE Go?

How Far Can Our SELF-DISCIPLINE Go?

How Far Can Our SELF-DISCPLINE Go?  Oh well, SELF-DISCIPLINE is more about HABITS than genetics.  And for people who are fully aware of their SELF-DISCIPLINE issues, studies show that most of them are into that problem NOT for the lack of desire or motivation. The reason we do struggle to be more DISCIPLINED isn't a moral failing or faulty genes.  Instead, it is our BAD HABITS that seem to interfere with our natural ability to be DISCIPLINED💴💷💵

So, if we want to be more SELF-DISCIPLINED, we need to learn to identify the GOOD habits.  And as studies show, SELF-DISCIPLINE won't be far behind.  HOW?  Primero.  RELY ON YOU WILLPOWER.  People with rock solid SELF-DISCIPLINE understand that WILLPOWER is the very last resort.  The analogy here is the car's emergency brake.  That is NOT a must-have.  In fact it is NICE TO HAVE but if we are in serious trouble, that's your lifeline📗📙📘

Word of caution though.  WILLPOWER should NEVER be our primary strategy for accomplishing difficult things.  SELF-DISCPLINED people understand that there are far more effective strategies for staying committed to challenging GOALS and TASKS.  The Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius was widely quoted YOU HAVE POWER OVER YOUR MIND, NOT OUTSIDE EVENTS.  REALIZE THIS, AND YOU WILL FIND STRENGTH.  And Plato, the ancient Greek philosopher said: THE FIRST AND BEST VICTORY IS TO CONQUER SELF💎💎💎

Sometimes [and probably MANY TIMES], emotions will come into play.  Because more often, managing [a.k.a. CONTROLLING] our emotions is much tougher.  BUT learning to effectively lead oneself [and even others] will all come down to DISCIPLINE.  Happiness, success and fulfillment stem from FOCUS and SELF-CONTROL✅✅✅

It may be hard to believe WHEN we're facing an EAT-ALL-U-CAN buffet, that prospect of making a quick buck or the lazy lure of sleeping versus grinding [and kicking your butt out hard enough].  Our takeaway here is that, if you want to take CONTROL of your habits and choices to lead you towards a firmer SELF-DISCIPINE, as the Nike advert goes, JUST DO IT❗❗❗