EMPTY Exhaustion Versus FULFILLING FATIGUE

EMPTY Exhaustion Versus FULFILLING FATIGUE

If we all have a commonality in life, we all feel drained or zapped at various points in our daily life.  The question is, where is the RED SEA that sets apart the vast difference between an EMPTY Exhaustion Versus FULFILLING FATIGUE?  Those are two poles very much comparable to the gap between the skies and the ground.  Too bad some of us are unable to distinguish the huge difference between EMPTY Exhaustion Versus FULFILLING FATIGUE

IF we need to find role models, we can pick from those competitive sportsmen.  They follow a regimented training schedule even if they have to clock-in 4am or 11pm.  But outside of competitive sports, this is where we pity some of us.  Have you witnessed idle and effectively doing nothing many hours yet you would hear one yawning, confusing you whether you are seeing a legitimate EXHAUSTION or just a hollowed FATIGUE❓❓❓

To keep things as basic and as simple as possible, the very gauge is NOT simply whether you're physically/mentally manifesting a 'LOW BATTERY' but we got to validate our manifestation.  Was it caused because you just came home after working twelve pressurizing hours?  OR you just drove a 10-hr stretch?  OR did you spend the past hours on social media?  Switching from Meta/FB to IG to Twitter, name it.  OR you were in a to-and-fro video call with your pal, talking anything EXCEPT sense?

IF only we spent our time diligently.  IF only we enforced our time management efficiently.  IF only we stuck to our targeted tasks for the day.  IF only we DE-PRIORITIZED social media until your tasks have tapered off.   IF only you politely disengaged yourself from a 'nonsense conversation' even if that was with your BFF.  IF only you realized that any unutilized time is LOST time.  IF only you constantly reminded yourself to be accountable for every ticking minute of your 'awake' hours

With humility, I'll admit I NEVER went through this kind of predicament, wherein in the end, I would regret so much time has passed yet I was unable to DO what I needed to DO.  And as the old adage goes, regret comes only at the tail-end.  BUT given the choice, would you prefer yourself going through an EMPTY EXHAUSTION instead of a FULFILLING FATIGUE?  C'mon dude✅✅✅

Did You HEAR What You Wanted To HEAR?

Did You HEAR What You Wanted To HEAR?

No No No sirrrrs, our thread today is NOT about hearing problems that may need a hearing aid.  Instead, this is intended for everyone with NO hearing problems, per se.  Instead, we'd like to dig in and figure out why people with normal hearing capabilities are facing a different dilemma, and that's their tendency to HEAR WHAT THEY WANTED TO HEAR, period.  Do you follow me?  Can you relate to this.  If NOT you yourself, did you bear witness to some people whose hearing discipline is more SELECTIVE, a.k.a. FILTERED wherein they end up hearing ONLY WHAT THEY WANTED TO HEAR and nothing more❓❓❓

Heard of this fact:  Schools teach courses on HOW TO PRESENT.  BUT have you heard of courses on HOW TO LISTEN?  Very likely you haven't heard.  Oh Oh, well, LISTENING is the kind of skill that benefits from NOT just teaching but really WALKING THE TALK.  To take a step back, a participant in any conversation has two goals, namely to UNDERSTAND the message and to convey an INTEREST to it⏳⏳⏳

Now, before we swing to other people, how are you, how do you LISTEN?  Let me share HOW do I discern if the person I'm talking to is NOT sincerely LISTENING.  If he does NOT react OR comment at all to what I said, that is my reliable barometer that the person I'm talking to is NOT sincerely into that conversation.  OR to give that person the benefit of the doubt, maybe there's something that's mentally bothering him RIGHT NOW📌📌📌

So what's our FIX?  Let us understand that ACTIVE LISTENING has three aspects namely, COGNITIVE, EMOTIONAL and BEHAVIORAL.  The COGNITIVE piece expects us to pay attention to all the information.  The EMOTIONAL piece expects us to stay calm during the convu, including containing emotional reactions [e.g. are you getting annoyed OR bored]❗❗❗

Now, let's come up with a CHEAT SHEET.  

1. REPEAT the person's last words back
2. DON'T put it in your own words unless you need
3. OFFER non-verbal cues that you're listening
4. ASK more questions as it manifest listening
5. AVOID distractions during the conversation
6. APOLOGIZE if you can't understand something
7. RESPOND only once the person stopped talking
8. MANAGE your emotions as much as possible
9. Once the person is done, take a brief pause, then compose your thoughts  [as that takes a conscious effort] and since people think four times faster than the one talking, that's the time your brainpower starts to gain momentum

We hope that after your two-way interaction, you managed to HEAR NOT JUST THINGS YOU WANTED TO HEAR✅✅✅

Do The Things You LOVE

Do The Things You LOVE

No sirrrrrrs, we DON'T need to be kittens to DO THE THINGS YOU LOVE [to do]. It's just a hard fact in life that we got a myriad choices and options to do [especially during non-work days].  But the bigger question to everyone is, do you subscribe to this mantra Do The Things You LOVE?  If NOT, you must be threading scary waters.  Now, what sets apart billionaires from us?  Of course, they are crazy rich so our natural assumption would lead us to believe that $$$$$$ makes them happy?  NO sirrrrrrrrrrrs❗❗❗

Hmmmm, that may be [partly] true but $$$$$$ alone DOES NOT lead to SUSTAINABLE happiness if the other areas in your life are careening towards or actually becoming OUT of CONTROL.  So, this early, what's our FIX?  Studies tell us DO THE THINGS YOU LOVE, period.  Billionaire Warren Buffet was quoted 'DO SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ALL YOUR LIFE.  I URGE YOU TO WORK IN JOBS THAT YOU LOVE.  YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND IF YOU KEEP TAKING JOBS YOU DON'T LIKE BECAUSE YOU THINK IT WILL LOOK GOOD ON YOUR RESUME'❗❗❗

Indeed, there are RISKS involved in chasing after that 'dream job'.  You DON'T just wake up one day and quit your job and the financial security of a steady paycheck to start a business.  BUT when you do discover the work or career that will spring you out of bed every morning, it will be totally worth it.  Many times in my life I have seen SQUARE PEGS in ROUND HOLES, whew.  Now, saying 'DO WHAT YOU LOVE' is easier said than done.  Look for your PURPOSE.  But you CAN'T have that PURPOSE without that PASSION, which comes from your DESIRE to make a difference✅✅✅

Allow me to 'zoom and sneak' into my private life.  WHY do I really LOVE going to market [even 'wet markets']?  WHY do I really LOVE going shopping [NOT just malling]? WHY do I keep blogging-blogging regardless if it comes right after I 'logout' from work OR deep into the night or even on a supposedly LAZY Sunday morning [like today]?  Dude, it's a no-brainer.  I LOVE, as in, LOVE doing all these.  Ask my wife for an attestation📌📌📌  

In a month's time, we [my wife and myself] are reaching our 16th year, a milestone countless naysayers were willing to bet [14-16 years ago] that ours will not last.  In my career, I stayed for 12 years in my first job and in my current job, I'm now 12 years and counting.  In conclusion, what helped me reach these milestones this long, both in my personal and professional life?  WHEN YOU LOVE WHAT YOU DO, it does not come out as an obligation to do but instead, it adds up as a contributor to make and keep you happy in life⏳⏳⏳

Weapons of 'MASS DISTRACTION' [This is NOT a Typo]

Weapons of 'MASS DISTRACTION' [This is NOT a Typo]

Weapons of 'MASS DISTRACTION.  No sirs, this is NOT a typo [unlike almost two decades ago when the western superpowers were all ganging up on Saddam Hussein's WEAPONS of MASS DESTRUCTION].  But please DON'T get me wrong, I am NOT against or aghast with all what social media offers us today because I do use this blogging tool and yes, I do use Meta too but this thread is NOT about social media

And BTW, what really distracts us is NOT just social media.  It COULD be music audio being played.  It COULD be that busybody in your neighborhood snooping around.  It COULD be the infant crying in the bedroom.  It COULD be an emergency ambulance blowing its horn nonstop along the road.  In short, we have a cacophonous combination of MASS DISTRACTION.  The question is, how do we handle all these❓❓❓

Indeed, we face two tough challenges in the light of all these distractions.  #1 is learning the tricks to handle it and #2 developing that self-discipline to handle it.  Studies show that in the United States, on average, the typical American gets distracted every eleven minutes and that it takes approximately twenty five minutes for you to settle down again to your task but regaining that LOST FOCUS for more complicated tasks is tougher than ever❗❗❗

Oh this pic looks like fiction but seriously, my naked eyes has witnessed this scenario a zillion times.  Pedestrians walking but so glued on that gadget.  Drivers behind the steering wheel BUT reading/texting an SMS [that's short messaging service].  These are real-life 'horror stories' and that vicious cycle has not been broken up even as we speak now.  So, WHY does it take time for us to RE-FOCUS back to our task?  This happens because our brain has to take considerable effort switching between objectives the person wants to pursue✅✅✅

What's our FIXes?  #1 STICK to your vision and goals in mind, period.#2 PRIORITIZE & PLAN your day right after you wake up.  #3 REDUCE the chaos in your daily life.  Much as you want to do 20 tasks, seriously, that's next to impossible.  #4 START + COMPLETE the prioritized tasks as per schedule, pronto.  #5 Drill-down and FOCUS on the smallest part of your task.  Many get lost because they are so enamored with the BIG PICTURE, period.  Lastly, control your CONTROLLABLE distractions, be it as simple as closing the door, turning off the Spotify music.  Be wary of today's WEAPONS of MASS DISTRACTION📌📌📌

PATIENCE May NOT Mean WAITING

 PATIENCE May NOT Mean WAITING

English may NOT be a language more complex than Russian BUT sadly, many of us continue to stand pat in WAITING and WAITING on the pretext that WAITING is a manifestation of PATIENCE.  Oh Oh this is a gross mix up.  Unfortunately, many questions we have in life require PATIENCE And that involves a big chunk of game-changing and life-changing decisions so PATIENCE May NOT Mean WAITING💎💎💎

Oh, when we were kids, we wade through a long season eagerly looking forward to the next.  We would wait.  Our birthday comes.  So does Halloween [and Trick or Treat].  As we grow, we anticipate being old enough to play a sport, to drive our own car and to vote as a citizen or to have our wisdom tooth pulled.  So, during those days, we sublimely learned 'delay gratification'.  Over time, we learned more💊💊💊

Over time, we may have heard or learnt that IMPULSE CONTROL and FRUSTRATION tolerance can have benefits.  Our lives abound in so many opportunities to practice developing these habits.  We should have heard stories that tell us that devoting TIME, MONEY and EFFORT can bring rewards that CANNOT be gained without FOCUS, HARD WORK and yes, that ability to DELAY GRATIFICATION📌📌📌

So, what's our FIXes?  First off, PREPARE.  If you want to migrate to France, learn French.  If ypu're about to onboard to a new organization, learn the new tools and systems, not just keeping to your existing skills set.  that's being PREPARED.  Secondly, Handle DISTRACTION deftly.  When WAITING becomes uncomfortable enough to derail us from being our normally efficient self, endeavor to SWITCH GEARS to another tack✅✅✅

Yes please, STOP WAITING IN LINE!  What do you gain by passively waiting in the queue?  Is it just being part of the bandwagon?  BUT are you sure everyone in that bandwagon share the same plan and goals as you have plotted for yourself?  Sadly, I know first-hand people who wasted decades of their life simply because they thought they were PATIENT enough when in line.  PATIENCE MAY NOT MEAN WAITING, dude❗❗❗

Are You Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop, Really?

Are You Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop, Really?

Are You Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop, Really?  In simplest English, we're referring to manifestations by some who tend be so apprehensive or worried on something unfavorable that may happen next.  And what's the probability of that worry to happen?  Honestly, only God knows.  Could be anywhere between 1% to 99%.  So, really, the ask is Are You Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop, Really❓❓❓

So what explains why some of us tend to be worrisome?  Scientific explanations do explain its common causes. and topping the list are people who repetitively think NEGATIVE thoughts to avoid NEGATIVE emotional contrasts.  Oh, there is a second jargon we got to grapple with, that's RUMINATION so let's differentiate WORRY vs RUMINATION. While WORRY refers to repetitive NEGATIVE thoughts about potentially unpleasant future events, RUMINATION refers to repetitive NEGATIVE thoughts concerning either present or past difficulties📌📌📌

So that's it.  RUMINATION refers to either present or past whereas WORRY refers to the future.  Despite these differences, RUMINATION and WORRY share much in common as both are peppered with NEGATIVITY, REPETITIVE and UNCONTROLLABLE circumstances.  Not to be an alarmist, both are also associated with mental illness⏳⏳⏳

So, here's what's bogging us.  What ties us up to repetitive NEGATIVE thinking?  Studies show that NEGATIVE repetitive thinking tends to decrease the chances of experiencing NEGATIVE emotional contrasts and instead, INCREASES the chance of experiencing POSITIVE emotional contrasts.  And here's a bit of a twisted take from some worrisome folks.  They would explain that they are focusing on the NEGATIVE because allowing themselves to feel happy leaves them vulnerable to feeling terrible in the end✅✅✅

So what's our FIX [f we can exhaust fixing this]:

• Challenge POSITIVE beliefs regarding the usefulness of repetitive NEGATIVE thinking
• Endeavor to reduce the SENSITIVITY to NEGATIVE emotional contrasts
• Try reducing SENSITIVITY to prolonged positive mood.

So let us NOT Wait For The Other Shoe To Drop❗❗❗

Should We Go From GOOD To GREAT?

Should We Go From GOOD To GREAT?

Oh Oh Oh, this should NEVER be debatable, right?  Should We Go From GOOD To GREAT?  Because the absolute answer is a big screaming YESSSSSS.  But hold on, let me play the devil's advocate at least for this thread.  While I would push and be egging everyone to GO FROM GOOD TO GREAT, this is something that is NOT a no-brainer.  Even in America, the bastion of democracy, while anyone can run for President of the United States, this is NOT a given📌📌📌

In U.S. politics, there is a process both with the Republican and Democratic parties, wherein 'probables' and 'wannabes' go through the Presidential Primaries.  Unless you are a billionaire like Ross Perot who went on with his presidential foray way back 1992.  But hey, Ross Perot is a multi-billionaire.  Now let's get back both our feet on the ground.  What does it take for us to craft an informed decision that we'll GO FROM GOOD TO GREAT⏳⏳⏳

In our life, concerns about our adequacy can take different forms in each person.  A student feels special when he gets good grades.  A young lady may feel better when she's attractive.  Or an up and coming executive feels better when he can showcase his TALENT + POTENTIALS to go up the corporate ladder.  So, what's the commonality amongst all these?  It is our desire to do everything we can to prove to ourselves and others that we are GREAT.  But dude, things just DON'T work out superficially that way❗❗❗

Just like that ambitious gold fist who keeps jumping from the smallest to the biggest bowl ever, probably, since it successfully hurdled the first jump to the middle bowl, that fish became confident enough.  But be aware that it is actually our RELENTLESS trying to FEEL GOOD about ourselves that indeed causes much of our distress.  In a nutshell, a lot of the wounds we are LICKIN' are self-inflicted, no thanks to our cockiness❗❗❗

Take note.  When our GOALS are external enough, we may find ourselves falling short most of the time.  There are always people doing BETTER, so we can feel constantly judged.  And if we ever hit a GOAL we had set for ourselves, we often just raise the bar [all over again].  BTW, raising the bar is PERFECTLY FINE if your ambition to go FROM GOOD TO GREAT remains feasible and realistic✅✅✅

You Need To Get Into Every RABBIT HOLE

You Need To Get Into Every RABBIT HOLE

Today, our thread is NOT about rabbits but instead, we'd like to take a leaf from a rabbit's daily life where their world revolves around the rabbit hole.  But do you know that even before we were born on this Planet Earth, there was a pre-existing human problem awaiting us.  And that problem is WANTING LIFE TO BE EASY.  Unfortunately, that is both a combined fallacy and fiction because the hard truth is, throughout our lifetime, You Need To Get Into Every RABBIT HOLE not only to survive life but to bring you closer to the goals you set for you to achieve❗❗❗

This ISN'T intended to be a post in support of drudgery or making life difficult for yourself.  In the first place, we're all for doing things in the most straightforward and simplest way, however, believing that life should be inherently easy and straightforward is sometimes a 'FAST PASS' to dissatisfaction, anger and worst, depression.  Sometimes, things will come easily to you and it's important to enjoy the parts of your life that seem to slot into place💎💎💎

Having said this, when people assume that things should come easily and believe at some level that the core aspects of life such as relationships and work should generally be plain sailing, it often leads to feeling 'cheated'.  Also, it can feel as if there's something wrong with you if you find certain parts of life challenging while other people seem to sail through, finding things difficult can somehow become a fault or even a character defect⏳⏳⏳

So, here we go.  Like it or NOT, we got to live our life like a rabbit.  As with most beliefs in adulthood, they often stem from our childhood experiences.  Having a sheltered childhood that involved a lack of of exposure to difficulty and challenge often means that WHEN we face any level of ADVERSITY in adulthood it feels unfamiliar and intolerable.  On the other hand, having a childhood of emotional or practical hardship can leave us exhausted and may create a SENSE of WANTING to make it to the FINISH LINE📌📌📌

As we go up against ROADBLOCKS in adulthood, it can be easy to slip into wondering 'AM I THERE YET' as if you're waiting to enter the HARDSHIP FREE ZONE in life.  Of course, life isn't all bad and over time with the right combination of focus as well as HARD WORK, you will then hopefully experience life as being easier than it has felt in the past.  Much as we are NOT rabbits, the harsh reality is that we got to inculcate that 'rabbithole' mindset because that's what life is all about✅✅✅

Setting Boundaries

Setting Boundaries

These days, we all hear that we live in a borderless world, a global village and with virtuality lording it all over our daily lives.  What gets overlooked is if there is a need for us to be Setting Boundaries?  Our problem is, when we hear 'BOUNDARIES', we start to imagine walls that separate us from other people.  In a sense, that is true BUT 'BOUNDARIES' aren't necessarily a bad thing💎💎💎

'BOUNDARIES' are, in fact, they are an important ingredient in healthy, balanced relationships.  They are a crucial part of maintaining your identity, mental health and physical well-being as well.  ''BOUNDARIES'' can do include restrictions on physical actions, such as asking a partner NOT to look through your mobile phone or NOT to interrupt when you're working from home.  They can also be psychological such as asking your spouse/partner to accept that your goals and dreams may NOT always be the same as theirs📌📌📌

So why do we need healthy 'BOUNDARIES'?  First, experts advise that we should reduce'codependent' habits.  Heard of BFF's who were the closest ever such that every moment they are awake, they got to go to the same mall, go to the hair stylist at the same time, shop for wardrobe at the same time, etc.  And there's NOTHING wrong with that except that will lead to extreme 'codependent' habits⏳⏳⏳

Moreover, by setting 'BOUNDARIES', we set expectations when interacting with others.  And look and face the mirror.  DON'T you deserve a SENSE OF EMPOWERMENT and SELF-RESPECT?  Further, look at your need to ensure your physical and emotional comfort and at the same time, clarifying individual responsibilities in a relationship.  Bottom line, SEPARATE your wants, needs, thoughts from those of others✅✅✅

Without healthy 'BOUNDARIES', it's probable that your relationships may become toxic and unsatisfying and in the end, your well-being may suffer.  You might even feel taken advantage of, if a friend keeps asking for $$$$ or feel overwhelmed by STRESS if you feel the need to solve all of your partner's emotional problems.  Or if a parent  continually invades your PRIVACY, you may feel resentful.  Think about the need for SETTING BOUNDARIES❗❗❗

Mental Mapping Of The Game

Mental Mapping Of The Game

Today's thread should NOT be intellectually top-heavy but we'd like to toss up Mental Mapping Of The Game because we got to embrace this in our daily life as much as it is being embraced in competitive sports.  To align, it is defined as a structured way to capture and organize ideas and information [which may seem nebulous, vague and ambiguous💊💊💊

In a not-so-simple daily life scenario, things could get pretty complex and murkier.  With 'MIND MAPS', it could lead us to a crystal clear understanding of that idea at the conceptual level till it is broken down into component parts.  That technique is used to develop new ideas or to break down and better understand the available information.  Whether we are developing new ideas OR organizing existing information, mental mapping a.k.a. MIND MAPS will help us see how information fits together.  MIND MAPS provide an expansive and flexible structure to support one's thinking.  Unlike other visual diagrams, a MIND MAPS is built around a single central topic.  All the information are then anchored to the same point by placing the main idea at the center💎💎💎

In the ongoing NBA Eastern Conference Finals between Boston Celtics and Miami Heat, no less than Boston Celtics Coach Jose Mazulla admitted that there has been a mental disconnect within his team.  What a frustration.  What a waste.  Considering that the Boston Celtics is one of the NBA's most talented roster that is so deep even in a 10-man rotation.  That's the TRUTH BOMB dropped by Coach Mazulla, the mental disconnect⏳⏳⏳

Sometimes, life really gets harder when mental burnout creeps in.  In the simplest terms, MENTAL EXHAUSTION is tough.  Everyone of us could have had this over and over in the past.  WHEN you feel tired and drained after intense physical activity.  WHEN your long periods of intense mental activity can wear you down📌📌📌

So, what are the tell-tale signs of mental exhaustion creeping in?

• Working/Studying long hours with few breaks
• Spending much time with overwhelming burdens
• Exerting so much mental energy thinking through problems, worries and stressful stuff

At the end of the day, let us practice that MENTAL MAPPING of the game we're in because the MENTAL component is at the core✅✅✅