Leave Emotions At The Door

Leave Emotions At The Door

Supposedly, a discussion thread about emotions will be boring and dry.  UNLESS we stir things up.  Fine then.  And as per studies by psychologists, if we are tuned out of our own emotions, it is very likely that we will be POOR at reading them in other people.  And that impacts us if we DON'T Leave Emotions At The Door💴💷💵

It's a given that we all have EMOTIONS and we can all get a little sensitive at times.  The trick we need to figure out is HOW can we remain COMPOSED when battling such a hurricane of EMOTIONS.  One thing that I keep at the forefront of every encounter is to remember that people will always tend to remember HOW you made them feel📙📘📗

The thing is, it is NOT about the words that you uttered BUT the experience they had with you.  And this is the reality with regard EMOTIONS.  It can have a major impact on your decisions you will arrive at.  And studies show that your chances of arriving at an INFORMED DECISION will be much lower, no thanks to that simmering EMOTIONS💎💎💎

And the more intense our EMOTIONS are, there is that likelihood that we will arrive at a 'CLOUDED' judgment and the more likely we may cause OR make unintended mistakes with regard our DECISION.  And psychologists termed "BALANCED MINDSET" to that thing wherein that balance will exist between our brain's left and right hemispheres✅✅✅

And while the right side is our creative, imaginative and emotional side, the left side is the logical part of our brain WHERE we can reason and analyze.  And by standing IN BETWEEN the two and allowing both sides of our brain to work together, it will feel like you are the mediator.  And what happens next is you can see both sides of the story while you should endeavor to LEAVE EMOTIONS at the door❗❗❗

Affirmations Are NOT Enough

Affirmations Are NOT Enough

NOT to be a 'KILL JOY'.  NOT to be a devil's advocate. BUT the truth is, it takes very little effort, if at all, for us to swear and make Affirmations.  The harder and hardest parts lie ahead of it.  WHY? Because Affirmations Are NOT Enough.   And frankly, Affirmations are NOT one-size-fits-all solutions.  Firstly, our deeply rooted beliefs, cultivated over years of experience, are NOT always easily swayed by repeated positive phrases.  For someone who has gone through criticism or rejection [in my past], a mere Affirmation might NOT penetrate layers of self-doubt and negative self-perception💴💷💵

Moreover, the efficacy of Affirmations often depend on the individual's state of receptiveness.  If one speaks an Affirmation while internally resisting OR disbelieving it, the POSITIVE impact is likely diluted.  Think of it as trying to plant a seed in unyielding ground.  WITHOUT proper conditions, that seed WON'T flourish.  Furthermore, some people might find Affirmations as too generic OR disconnected from their personal experiences📗📙📘

Affirmations that AREN'T tailored to an individual's unique journey OR emotions CAN sometimes feel empty OR inauthentic.  In turn, this may lead to simply 'go through the motions' as opposed to making any positive CHANGE or steps forward.  Then, things get murkier when underlying mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety OR trauma can also overshadow the positive effects of Affirmations💎💎💎

In those isolated cases, more comprehensive interventions OR therapies may be necessary to address the root causes.  Furthermore, if and when we feel that seem to be lying to ourselves by repeating the same Affirmations over and over again and IF we DON'T truly believe in them, it is unlikely they will help.  Alternatively, who knows, we may also be trying to do too much at once❎❎❎

BIG question to ask ourselves.  WHAT DO WE DO WHEN Affirmations don't work?  Oh Oh, just because Affirmations are NOT working does NOT mean that anything is WRONG with you.  Every person's mental wellness journey is unique. , thus NOT everything works for everyone.  And in lieu of Affirmations, try JOURNALLING to help you see things more clearly.  Try TALKING TO SOMEONE to help you find new ways to challenge negative thought patterns.  And taking the FIRST STEP.  Who knows, another reason Affirmations might NOT be working is because you haven't taken any action toward stepping into the person you want to become.  Remember, Affirmations Are NOT Enough✅✅✅

Getting Things Done

Getting Things Done

Getting Things Done is the ever easiest words to express anytime any day BUT the bigger question is how can you translate into concrete words when saying Getting Things Done.  Through the years, I went through the wringer, sometimes right on the frying pan, and at times straight into the fire because with multifarious tasks to perform and deliver, more often, time was NOT on my side BUT was non-negotiable is the Getting Things Done deliverable💴💷💵

And with humility, people [especially my work colleagues] have often told me that they're surprised by HOW much I get done within a time frame, sometimes within a day or by a stretch, within a week.  I'm NOT saying that to brag BUT to relate that I forget how much work I've done to be able to make a bigger impact within the confines of my environment, be it at home or at work.  To be fair to my readership, allow me to share some of my proven tricks in Getting Things Done📗📙📘

BTW, I'm NOT a member of anything like a productivity cult but simply getting things done.  While sometimes it seems to turn us into machines that just keeps churning things out meaninglessly and admittedly, this leads to BURNOUT and a feeling of pointlessness.  And I have to admit that I am constantly too aware of that risk, hence my pacing even when Getting Things Done💎💎💎

Again, being PRODUCTIVE just for the sake of being PRODUCTIVE or because it is a 'good thing to do' because that's like missing the point.  Just like this blogsite, no factor will stop me from publishing my blogs.  Even when we went on family holidays and out-of-town schedules, I made sure my publishing of my blogs won't be hindered, like I will look like OFFLINE or 'missing in action'.  WHY?  Because it all boils down to one's commitment to Getting Things Done✅✅✅

So when do we move fast?  When things are tagged as 'URGENT'?  Good grief.  Indeed, that URGENCY BIAS is so impactful because we [including myself] unconditionally subscribe to it.  In short, when something gets tagged as 'URGENT', Getting Things Done becomes a given.  WHY?  It's because we really can Get Things Done if we want to❗❗❗

NO-NOs In Life

NO-NOs In Life

Life itself is NOT a complicated labyrinth BUT it does get complicated depending on the way we steer our life on the treacherous roads.  YET, there are NO-NOs In Life which can help us avert getting into those deep holes, deep trenches akin to hopelessly floating in the high seas waiting for a God-sent rescue.  And while these NO-NOs won't guarantee, our life can be absolutely less burdensome💴💷💵

The story about Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome approximately 2,000 years ago is so unique but relevant to us all.  As his entire life was met by hardship, both as a family man and as the emperor of Rome, on whose shoulders he bore the weight of the Roman Empire, he proudly declares that he managed to SURVIVE  based only on 'PHILOSOPHY'.  Through restraint, he found the answer to each problem.  And by doing less, he found a way to do more📙📘📗

How?  First off.  STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK.  If someone doesn't like you, so be it.  There are 7.6  billion other people in the world for you to befriend.  Focus on improving yourself  daily and people will flock to your new brilliant attitude. Another NO-NO In Life is us DOING SO MUCH.  You DON'T need to do LESS but DO what's essential💎💎💎

In a culture that favors activity over inactivity, we've been hardwired to believe that doing SOMETHING, anything, is greater than doing NOTHING.  BUT at what cost does this busy lifestyle come?  Question for us:  ARE WE DISTRACTING OURSELVES from dealing with the real issues at hand?  OR ARE WE DISTRACTING OURSELVES with trivial tasks rather than confronting our greatest FEARS and problems✅✅✅

 If you realize that your grinding your ass off to no avail, run a PULSE CHECK to figure things out.  CAN'T be for you to maintain the STATUS QUO if you're going OFF TRACK.  Rather than spreading yourself thinly across multifarious activities, focus on one and do it well [with QUALITY].  The last thing we want to happen is your life ending a failure simply because of NO-NOs in life which you could have effortlessly avoided in the first place❗❗❗

Coping With CHANGE

Coping With CHANGE

The one constant in life is CHANGE.  That DOESN'T mean we ever get used to it or fully embrace it, though.  Realistically, Coping With CHANGE should NOT be a 'BIG DEAL' unless it's game-changing, life-changing.  Regardless of the severity and unpredictability of a CHANGE, there are basics and fundamentals that can help us become more ready and resilient in the face of Coping With CHANGE💴💷💵

Sometimes, we get so caught up in fighting CHANGE that we tend to put off actually dealing with it.  Denial is really a powerful force and it protects us in many ways.  However, stepping outside of it and saying to yourself "THINGS ARE CHANGING AND IT IS OKAY" can be less stressful than putting it off📙📘📗

Now and then, even GOOD CHANGE happens but even then, it causes stress.  Sometimes when people go through a positive life CHANGE, such as graduating or having a baby, they still feel a great deal of stress.  We have to bear in mind that POSITIVE CHANGE can create stress just like NOT-SO-SENTIVE CHANGE.  Stress is just our body's way of reacting to CHANGE.  Now, when CHANGE happens in the middle of your daily life, the most important thing is to STICK TO YOUR SCHEDULE💎💎💎

And when CHANGE happens, a lot of us tend to reach for carbs, like bread, muffins, cake.  This may be because eating carbs boosts serotonin, a brain chemical that may be somewhat depleted when one undergoes CHANGE.  And it is fine to soothe oneself with comfort foods [in moderation].  And notice if one is experiencing an increased use of alcohol or other substances when we are under stress❌❌❌

And DON'T ignore your support structure.  No one gets through life alone.  It is okay to ask for help.  Never miss out your family members, your trusted friends.  Chances are that they are happy to help if you need them to watch you while you run errands OR if you need some 'ALONE TIME'.  Most importantly, write down the POSITIVES that have come from this CHANGE.  CHANGE presents us with the opportunity to grow and it's important to acknowledge how things have become.  COPING WITH CHANGE is no rocket science but we got to do it in earnest❗❗❗

Self-Acceptance Is A MUST-DO

Self-Acceptance Is A MUST-DO

Though related, Self-Acceptance is NOT the same as Self-Esteem.  Whereas Self-Esteem refers to specifically to something valuable or worthwhile we see ourselves. Self-Acceptance alludes to a far more global affirmation of one self.  When we are self-accepting, we're able to embrace all facets of ourselves, NOT just the positive parts.  As such, Self-Acceptance is unconditional💴💷💵

Expectedly, we should be able to recognize our weaknesses, our limitations BUT that awareness in NO way interferes with out ability to fully accept ourselves.  Challenge for us is to determine our Self-Acceptance in the first place.  In general, similar to Self-Esteem, as children we're able to accept ourselves only to the degree we feel accepted by our parents.  Studies have shown that before the age of eight, we lack the ability to formulate a clear sense of self📗📙📘

Given how the human psyche operates, it is almost impossible NOT to parent ourselves similar to how we were parented originally.  If our caretakers dealt with us in a hurtful manner, as adults we'll find all kinds of ways to perpetuate that unresolved pain onto ourselves.  And if we were frequently ignored, berated, blamed or worst, physically punished, we'll somehow continue this Self-Dignity💎💎💎

So, IF and WHEN we 'beat ourselves', we're typically just following our parents' lead.  Having to depend so much on them when we were young and thus experiencing little authority to actually question their mixed verdict on us, we felt pretty much obliged to accept their negative appraisals as valid.  They constantly put us down BUT historically it is well known that parents are far more likely to let us know when we do something that bothers them than to acknowledge us for our behaviors❎❎❎

So, how do we become more Self-Accepting?
In the shortest words I can recall from experts, we need to cultivate Self-Compassion, letting go of guilt and learning to forgive ourselves.  Accepting ourselves unconditionally would have been almost automatic had our parents conveyed a more predominantly positive message about us BUT if that's NOT the case, we need on our own to 'CERTIFY' ourselves to validate our essential OK-ness.  Indeed, Self-Acceptance is a MUST-DO❗❗❗

Quantity Beats Quality? Not So Fast.

Quantity Beats Quality?  Not So Fast.

Quantity Beats Quality?  Not So Fast.  The late NBA Great KOBE BRYANT was developing his jumper during the offseason, making 2,000 shots a day.  NOT taking.  MAKING.  And this reminds me of a simple general principle to operate by, especially for those of us in a working career, that is, QUANTITY TRUMPS QUALITY.  Let me qualify my thoughts here.  QUANTITY should be a higher priority than QUALITY because it leads to higher QUALITY.  The shorter the path to maximized QUALITY, and executing on the feedback after each finished product📌📌📌

Accomplished author David Bayles shared about an experiment wherein he tested his class, with those on left side of the class, would be graded solely on the QUANTITY of work they produced while all those on the right, will be graded solely on QUALITY and his procedure was fairly simple.  On the final day of the class, he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the "QUANTITY" group, 50 pounds of pots rated 'A', 40 pounds a 'B' and so on.  For the 'QUALITY' group, they needed to produce only one pot, albeit a perfect one, to get an 'A'📗📙📘

Came grading time and a curious fact emerged.  The works of the 'QUANTITY' group was busily churning out piles of work [and learning from their mistakes] while the 'QUALITY' group had sat, theorizing about PERFECTION, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay💎💎💎

A surprising but consistent finding among researchers is that the greatest innovators, artists and thinkers DON'T have a better ratio of good ideas to bad ideas than the rest of us.  BUT the difference lies on the fact that they had MORE ideas.  And the end result?  They end up with a greater number of GOOD ideas.  So, a simple way to begin to improve our creative output is to switch focus, from QUALITY to QUANTITY.  Truth is, you have way MORE ideas in you than you think you do.  And those EARLY ideas you need to get out of the way, as they're likely to be conventional✅✅✅

Let's face it.  Assuming I pick someone who's either a lemon OR mediocre but he processes 100 transactions per hour with an error rate of 1-2%.  And let's assume your TOP QUALITY guy is really tops in terms of QUALITY but he processes 10 transactions per hour.  Where would you bet?  Hands down, QUANTITY BEATS QUALITY❗❗❗

[PHISHING SECURITY ALERT] S$ 446,000 Lost In 2 Weeks of DECEMBER

For our thread today, allow me to veer away from our popular threads of interests to interject this PHISHING SECURITY ALERT because within a two-week period in DECEMBER 2023, customers of one of the biggest banks in Singapore lost approximately S$ 446,000, all because of PHISHING.  Of course, there is NOTHING NEW about PHISHING as we have covered our grounds quite several times on this [NOTE:  These incidents were investigated & confirmed that the bank is NOT culpable]📗📙📘

I myself, I received at least two SMS messages last December, purportedly advising me that 'YOUR DELIVERY IS ON HOLD. PLEASE CLICK THIS'.  It was as simple as that.  WHAT action did I take?  IGNORE it, period.  WHY?  Once you CLICK a link sent to you, either via email or via SMS, God knows what will happen next.  Try CLICKING it and the device you used will be tagged from thereon💵💴💷

For a quick debrief, people WHO attempt PHISHING attacks are usually a group of professionals [NOTE, they are PROFESSIONALS] running ILLEGAL operations.  And WHEN calling OR sending emails to customers or victims, the hackers take a common approach of asking to help customers RESET or UPDATE their banking data by asking for login OR other personal information.  And that can be done by CLICKING on a link or verifying personal information over the phone to an automated call or live individual📌📌📌

So, HOW can you really PREVENT PHISHING?  People are easily enticed to CLICK on links that seems either exciting, worrisome OR inquisitive.  DON'T be easily provoked to CLICK on any links until you consider WHO is the email or SMS sender + WHAT is the intent  + WHERE the links OR instructions are asking you to go❎❎❎

So HOW?

• CHECK THE SOURCE [of the email or SMS]
• VALIDATE THE LINK [call hotline if you can't]
• DETERMINE THE PURPOSE [of email or SMS]
• CHECK FOR ERRORS [in the email or SMS]
• REPORT SUSPICIONS IMMEDIATELY

These are no-brainers, dude.  To be forewarned is to be forearmed❗❗❗

When To HALT DECISIONS

When To HALT DECISIONS

Borrowing this cover page from reknown Australian transformation coach and author Emma Queen, what her cover tells us when we're either HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY or TIRED, that is the time for us to HALT DECISIONS.  Results from studies show that we should avoid making important decisions on an empty stomach, literally speaking as that hunger significantly altered people's decision-making, making them impatient and more likely to settle for a small reward that arrives sooner than a larger one promised at a later date📗📙📘

There was an experiment designed by neuroscientists wherein respondents were asked questions relating to food, money, and other rewards when satiated and again when they had skipped a meal.  The results show that while it was NOT surprising that hungry people were more likely to settle for smaller food incentives that arrived sooner, the researchers found that being hungry actually changes preferences for rewards entirely unrelated to food.  So, there was a large effect on people's preferences💴💵💷

That study indicates that a reluctance to defer gratification may carry over into other kinds of decision, even on financial and interpersonal ones.  So, it is really imperative for us to be aware that hunger might affect our preferences in ways we DON'T necessarily anticipate or predict.  There is even a lurking danger for people experiencing hunger due to poverty may make decisions that entrench their situation💎💎💎

Emma Queen's studies went a step farther than those researches because she highlighted that besides being hungry, even anger, loneliness or being tired are factors that are as impactful to decisions as being hungry.  Further, the studies show that there was a large effect as people's preferences shifted dramatically from the long-term to the short-term when hungry❎❎❎

These results fit well into a larger effort in psychology to map the factors that influence our DECISION MAKING.  This potentially empowers people as they may foresee and mitigate the effects of being HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY or TIRED.  Those are the times when we should HALT DECISIONS, holding it in abeyance❗❗❗

Oh, Life Is NOT A Sprint. It Is A Marathon!

Oh, Life Is NOT A Sprint.  It Is A Marathon!

These days, let's accept the reality that we are all playing a high stakes game of ONE AND DONE.  WHICH means, we have exactly one life to do everything we can ever do.  There will be NO do-overs, NOT even second chances.  It's either we use this life well OR lose it.  Oh, Life Is NOT A Sprint.  It Is A Marathon!  It's indeed a tough job separating truth from legend.  Even the breakthroughs in life seem to question conventional beliefs💴💷💵

Having said that, please DON'T get me wrong.  The fact that life is a marathon does NOT tell us to procrastinate, excuse-making and all kinds of diversionary behavior which will only succeed to sabotage our chances of accelerating our results and enjoy the massively abundant fruits of life, fruits of our labor📗📙📘

Much as we were guided in life to sit still.  Stand in line.  Keep your head down.  Follow the rules.  Do as we're told.  Play it safe.  DON'T risk it.  Wait your turn.  Ask permission.  Slow down.  BUT much as I subscribe that LIFE IS NOT A SPRINT, I firmly believe that within the marathon, life is a series of HIGH-PERFORMANCE SPRINTS💎💎💎

Let's face it.  We live in a world of accelerated change and exponential growth.  Technology is multiplying our capabilities as a civilization.  YET, too many of us seem to operate with antiquated beliefs, outdated tactics and even inferior execution skills.  Rather than adapt to the demands of change and accept the idea that we should push for HIGH-PERFORMANCE SPRINTS, a vast majority still resists and even reject the need for CHANGE❎❎❎

Yet, we look closely at the landscape across, we'll find a small group of people who refuse to think and act like the masses.  They are the non-conformist who buck the system, who question conventional belief and as a result, wind up doing extraordinary things in an implausibly short amount of time.  BUT we should have a fair chance similar to the SUCCESS STORIES we hear around✅✅✅