You Can't Have An Omelette Without Breaking Some Eggs

You Can't Have An Omelette Without Breaking Some Eggs

WHO says that IF we were born like scions of the Rockefellers and Trumps and that you're given a blanket guarantee that your life will be near-perfect [if NOT picture-perfect] from your first breath till your last breath?  NO WAY Jose.  Perhaps we want to hear the story about the reason WHY the instant we were born, we cry???  Do we feel we're alive to suffer???  YES, You Can't Have An Omelette Without Breaking Some Eggs

Life is a SACRIFICE. so we are told, right?  Get a good education, find a good job.  Here you go.  DON'T we feel it?  I mean, the instant we are thrown on this Planet Earth, crying loudly and flopping around, everything is clear.  We are here to SUFFER.  That's HOW it starts and that's HOW life spontaneously goes.  Doing a lookup @ the dictionary, SACRIFICE is defined as 'TO GIVE UP SOMETHING THAT IS VALUABLE TO YOU IN ORDER TO HELP ANOTHER ONE💦💦💦

Can we spend the next minutes to explore this vision.  YES, life is the most valuable thing we have.  In the absence of life, we are NOT.  An individual does NOT exist in the absence of a biological context.  HOWEVER, this definition is insufficient to describe the human conception of life.  We all need REASONS TO LIVE and aim at fulfilling our desires of self-realization.  In a nutshell, we need PURPOSE in our life😃😃😃

In brief, giving up on our life means giving up our personal reason to stay alive.  BUT when does this sentiment of SACRIFICE arise?  YES, a concrete sensation of SACRIFICE arises WHEN an individual feels that undesired need to answer to the world for the first time.  The world we are born into, which comprises our culture and even those institutions, all those that precede us are imposed on the newborn [and alas, immediately it takes its toll].  For instance, WHY do we need to work [WHAT if I DON'T want to?]?  WHY should I pay taxes???

Our takeaway:  Regardless of your societal strata today, life is an aggregation of UPSIDEs and DOWNSIDEs, sometimes a combination of looping iterations, very much akin to my experience in my yesteryears WHEN I was deep into my linear programming.  Oh, I grabbed this funny quote from American comedian Stephen Colbert WHO says we can still make an omelette without breaking eggs [ONLY THAT it will be a REALLY BAD OMELETTE]❗❗❗

When Do We Apply HUMANITY Instead Of The LAW?

When Do We Apply HUMANITY Instead Of The LAW?

When Do We Apply HUMANITY Instead Of The LAW?  Allow me to share here the Quora.com post by Bruktawit Abebaw last August 25th.  Helen Johnson from Tarrant, Alabama was caught stealing at a nearby DOLLAR GENERAL and the police were called to arrest her.  WHEN the officer arrived, he asked Helen WHAT she had stolen.  Her answer was heartbreaking:  FIVE EGGS TO FEED MY CHILDREN.  Instead of arresting her, the officer did something extraordinary.  He took her back to the supermarket and bought groceries for her and her kids.  Overwhelmed with gratitude, Helen cried and said:  SIR THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME!!!

Indeed, a heart-wrenching story.  WHICH reminds me many years ago WHEN I was still residing in Singapore.  A young lady, likely below legal age, approached me and sought help to be rescued from an Indian syndicate WHO was purportedly unduly detaining her [with her fears she'll be sent to a sex den].  WHAT I did next was to find out the location WHERE she was purportedly locked and then, one early morning, she sneaked out.  Next thing I did, I bought her one-way return plane ticket with a STERN REMINDER that she should NOT explore going overseas again [UNLESS it's 100% legitimate enough]💧💧💧

Indeed, a single act of humanity, big OR small, even a welcoming smile OR literally a helping hand, a drink of water OR emotional support OR simply assisting a child get off the train, it can go a long way towards helping someone especially WHERE someone needs help either for reasons of FOOD or of FEAR.  Even as we speak now, conflicts along now raging in Ukraine and Gaza are enough to overflow the newswires bandwidth.  And that's NOT covering the widespread hunger and poverty💥💥💥

True, the harsh realities in life shows us this world spinning with little regard for human plight.  BUT random acts of kindness, no matter how small, should remind us of our shared HUMANITY, which brings us back to the PRINCIPLE of HUMANITY, a simple one that gives us the criterion for distinguishing RIGHT from WRONG❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Being humane is NOT always defined by rules and laws.  It should NOT require that being humane should be written and documented.  At the end of the day, much as we DON'T want to end up in the plight of those who are suffering OR in need of help, the least we can do during these times WHEN we are NOT the ones needing help is to extend that helping hand within our means, even if it means to be non-financial OR non-material.  Even counselling and guidance will go a long way for us to apply HUMANITY INSTEAD OF THE LAW❗❗❗

Our 'GAME OF TRUST'

Our 'GAME OF TRUST'

Like it OR not, we are all in Our 'GAME OF TRUST' in life.  We can hear all kinds of challenges [call it TURMOILS] in life.  LIKE I have just been laid off.  OR one of my kids is having trouble in school.  OR my father is very ill but we are penniless to bring him to hospital.  True, we should feel GRATEFUL for all that we have in life a roof over our heads, food and support from family and friends BUT with these challenges, WHAT else could you feel but ANXIETY📗📙📘

And this slows down our life.  WHAT slows us down is our respect for WHAT we are going through in life.  And HOW else should we react in the midst of those grim situations?  And IF ever I'll ask myself if I'll be grateful if I had just been laid off from my job, and NOT to mention the other challenges you are facing, obviously, the answer will be a very loud NO💧💧💧

There's NO need to point fingers here.  You and me could all have been in the same boat, at least sometime in the past [if NOT as we speak now].  Wherein WHEN we are confronted with difficult feelings, our tendency is to want to figure out the feelings will serve as our very 'teachers' and make us more aware, helping us grow as a human being.  And IF I may surmise, that's probably our own way of keeping feelings at a safe distance and under the control of our own mind.  In real life, however, some of us tend to create distance from our own feelings by focusing on how we can change them😀😀😀

Looking at the horizon, others relate to their feelings through the 'LENS' of WHAT their feelings mean about WHO they are, HOW their feelings reflect OR DON'T reflect their identity.  Still, others manage by turning them into their own narrative and continue that narration OR describing their feelings to themselves and everyone else.  And psychologists highlight that there is also a minority WHO keep their feelings from being felt at arm's length  by focusing on WHY their feelings have appeared, the particular cause and interpretation.  And they highlight that there is also a plurality WHO avoid their feeling altogether by projecting them onto others through schemes of blame and the like.  The point here is that whether understanding, learning from, examining OR manipulating, we are all quite clever enough WHEN it comes to finding ways to NOT feel our feelings directly💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Let's NOT get too far here because for the longest time, we were taught that we should NOT get too close to our feelings, and certainly NOT get inside them, feel them in the flesh OR inhabit them.  We DON'T want to experience suffering so we keep our feelings in the realm of the mind, that safe distance away, through countless rational and seemingly self-protective strategies.  We believe then that if we were to feel our feelings directly, close the gap between the person WHO is experiencing the feelings and the feeling themselves, we might NEVER come out the other side.  This brings us back to the fact that, like it or NOT, we are in a 'GAME OF TRUST' in life❗❗❗

Is WORK-LIFE Balance A Myth?

Is WORK-LIFE Balance A Myth?

Anytime, I'm wholeheartedly ready to take back my words [and even EAT it too] if I embraced on something that was a myth and now it's time to debunk it.  So, Is WORK-LIFE Balance A Myth?  YES, today, the concept of balancing WORK and LIFE has been described as a myth itself, WHEN in fact it has the potential to be the truth that will set you free.  WHEN will we realize that one day, work can take over our life???

Problem is, that purported lesson [that WORK CAN TAKE OVER OUR LIFE] is a brazen and blatant lie, so to speak.  BUT since WORK LIFE BALANCE can exist, YES YES yoH, we can still attain it.  BUT let's debunk the myths because at the end of the day, it's true we can still achieve WORK LIFE BALANCE💥💥💥

For our average professional, beginning a new job means putting in extra time to prove a high level of dedication.  It also exists in situations WHERE a vested employee is searching for advancement opportunities and believes that if they push themselves hard enough they can get that promotion one is angling.  BUT hey dude, these situations are often innately flawed because of culture and even communications💥💥💥

A long-running myth we've embraced for the longest time is that TIME MANAGEMENT will set us free.  BUT researchers said that the practice of TIME MANAGEMENT principles can sometimes be compared to first time parents discovering all the different methods of raising a child WHERE every person has another new opinion and their studies showed that it truly comes down to WHAT WORKS for the person😋😋😋

Our takeaway:  Let's keep things simple here.  And this reminds me of that 8-8-8 notion I heard WHERE we were told to spend eight hours working, eight hours sleeping and eight hours on recreational and social activities.  And that sounds amazing, right?  BUT the reality is, I will be hard pressed to find someone who lives by that notion.  Today, we [wrongly] think that TIME MANAGEMENT means following the alerts on our Outlook online calendars to check off our commitments in our To-do List.  BUT WHAT if you DON'T focus on trying to do everything?  So, IS WORK-LIFE A MYTH???

Our Roads Are ALWAYS 'Passable'

 

For many zillion times, I'd hear someone blurt like, I'M DONE, IT'S YOUR TURN or like, 'BEEN THERE, DONE THAT' or like 'I HAVE ENOUGH'.  Oh, really?  Should we stop our SELF-IMPROVEMENT initiatives for any of those reasons?  Probably, only someone WHO's seriously ill enough can say all these.  Otherwise, NOTHING and NOTHING should dissuade us from our SELF-IMPROVEMENT initiatives because yes,  Our Roads Are ALWAYS 'Passable', no road blockers along the way📗📙📘

Low confidence.  Self-doubt.  Seemingly unmotivated.  If so, MAYBE we are undervaluing our worth and limiting our success.  If this sounds familiar, there is NO better time for PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT [often a.k.a. SELF-IMPROVEMENT] than NOW.  Challenge here is that the coinage 'PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT sounds so mundane, it will hardly illicit even the tiniest reaction from most of us.  It's like a motherhood statement BUT in the simplest words, SELF-IMPROVEMENT is that act of improving oneself💚💛💜

Personally, SELF-IMPROVEMENT is a lifelong journey I have committed myself, all the way from my high school and university days although admittedly, during those early years, I was ALWAYS [as in ALWAYS] nervous to try new things.  Sometimes, even like I felt I needed to be someone WHO had to do everything right and please everyone.  I felt at times I COULDN'T be my true self❎❎❎

WHEN I reached college, I can wholeheartedly say that that was WHEN I became steadfast in my SELF-IMPROVEMENT process.  I tried new things, took new risks, and I'll humbly admit that I became a better version of myself [although I never ceased to remind myself that even my better version [at that time] was far way off from WHAT I want to be.  The thing is, I fully embraced that process from thereon😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  SELF-IMPROVEMENT is something that takes time.  I've witnessed [first hand] multiple 'spoilers' WHEREIN a person is like a 'perfectionist' to the extent that even WHEN he has progressed by inch, WHILE he does recognize that, he does it NEGATIVELY by telling himself 'NAH, THIS ISN'T ENOUGH, NOT I WANNA BE' but that's precisely the point here, SELF-IMPROVEMENT WASN'T concocted straight from that Big Bang Theory.  Let us NEVER loose sight of the fact that everything in our life is a work-in-progress [WIP] and yes, although many times, there are potholes and roadblocks, OUR ROADS ARE ALWAYS 'PASSABLE'.  Bring it on, dude❗❗❗

Are You One Of The EXHAUSTED Majority?

Are You One Of The EXHAUSTED Majority?

NOT being a health or medical SME, I prefer to buy their most common reason that many of us get seemingly exhausted in our daily lives either because of insufficient SLEEP or undue STRESS.  I'd like to take the best of both worlds and argue that if you have issues both with SLEEP and STRESS, that is the very best recipe ever for your EXHAUSTION to become a serious and chronic issue.  So, Are You One Of The EXHAUSTED Majority?  BUT the truth is, we all go through periods of low energy.  Even a week of feeling more tired than usual is NOT that uncommon to manifest.  Yet, most people can tell WHEN their fatigue feels like something more serious.  And IF that's the case OR your fatigue gets worse OR lasts longer than a week OR two, you've hit that wall of 'NO RETURN' WHERE the most responsible next move is for you to seek medical consultation📌📌📌

And if you're feeling overly tired OR feeling your reservoir of energy [and battery life] getting drained, you're NOT alone.  One too many of us, a plurality at the very least OR demographically, it can even be a majority.  If you have an underlying condition, then you should be the first one to figure it out if you need to dig deeper.  And quite often, medical experts tell us the least of worries will come up next if your issue seems NOT getting sufficient OR quality sleep because more often, that gets easier rectified😖😖😖

Things get murkier if you are probably having deficiencies of the basic nutrients.  Iron, Niacin, Riboflavin, Folate, Vitamins B12, C, D, name it all because that's the farthest I can go.  BUT the thing is, if you're experiencing that probable troubling fatigue, DON'T waste time to seek a medical consultation.  As they say, fatigue that's related to a deficiency in any of the nutrients could normalize once nutrient levels improve💥💥💥

NOW, here's the biggest bomb yet to be dropped.  STRESS is now the unquestioned #1 'KILLER' regardless of demographics OR location.  And while they say that some STRESS is normal, WHAT will guarantee us that so-called normal STRESS we're going through will not worsen to become a chronic STRESS?  And medical experts declare that in fact, chronic stress may even lead to stress-related exhaustion disorder💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  A proven life hack [under normal circumstances] is to eat often to beat tiredness.  And a good way to keep your energy through every 3 to 4 hours a day rather than having a large portion.  Most importantly, exhaustion does NOT mean the 'end of the world' but it could lead you to a new lease of life as long as you NIP IN THE BUD a brewing problem that may just worsen and way beyond for you to handle.  So, ARE YOU ONE OF THE EXHAUSTED ONES???

One Step At A Time, PLEASE?

One Step At A Time, PLEASE?

Very true, if we had our way, everything needs to move at the speed of light.  Oh Oh Oh, that wisdom of taking life ONE STEP AT A TIME often gets overlooked.  In the rush to achieve our goals and keep up with the frenetic pace of life, we might even find ourselves burning out and losing sight of WHAT truly matters.  After all, we have been trained to cherish being busy.  BUT as the song lyrics go, can we take One Step At A Time?  Quite confusing but recent studies show that slowing down and taking time for oneself facilitates a more fruitful experience of life📗📙📘

So, are we slowing down to speed up?  To emphasize the importance of embracing the journey and learning from every step and finding inspiration in the unexpected.  Looking back, however, WHILE sometimes we might feel the need to speed up and do everything at once due to that FEAR OF MISSING OUT and pressure from other people, we actually must cherish rest time and periods of being still.  To quote psychologists, for in those moments, 'MAGIC IS BORN'.  I remember this story retold a zillion times over and over again, that rare encounter between Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee, two legendary martial arts icons, with Norris telling Bruce Lee that he was moving too fast, that his whole timing is OFF and that he needs to slow down.  Apparently, that interaction did hold a profound meaning beyond the realm of combat as Norris recognized that in the pursuit of greatness, sometimes it's essential to take a step back💥💥💥

WHY is it sometimes we do need to take a step back in life?  Obviously, we need to reassess things.  For so many years in our workplace, our favorite verb was to CHECKPOINT.  And till to date, that has become a household name in all our calls.  And it's even 'music to the ears' of our clients.  WHY?  Simply put, by CHECKPOINTING, we do reassessments of that journey to date, WHERE we stand now, HOW things stand now and WHAT's in store for us over there in the horizons.  In short, life can't be akin to the F1 Race where the rule of the game is to speed up at break-neck pace.  Life is altogether different.  People that pressure others to speed up simply have something inherently wrong with them💧💧💧

In the wild goose chase in our daily life, we would hear INNER PEACE, CALM and a QUITE MIND as topping the high priorities of WHAT we want in life.  However, ever since I entered the workforce, I have always constantly observed that most things move at the pace of the particular industry you are in, NOT in the pace of one person.  And being raw straight out of university during those years, I was telling myself that I got only one option and that option was for me to adjust and to align to the realities❗❗❗

Our takeaway:  This is neither a choice nor an option.   By slowing down, we will allow ourselves the opportunity to reflect, learn, and adjust our course WHEN necessary.  This deliberate approach NOT only prevents burnout BUT also ensures that each step we will take is purposeful enough and more importantly, meaningful enough.  Taking life ONE STEP AT A TIME is about making deliberate and informed choices that contribute to our long-term success.  WHERE to, dude???

Being SOFT In A HARD World!

Being SOFT In A HARD World!

Not so long ago, we were born SOFT.  YESSSS, we were then squishy and very vulnerable [just like everyone else].  And YES, we are all deeply feeling beings.  And YES, many of us [and I was one of those in the past] just choose NOT to show it.  And admittedly, for a big chunk of my life in the past, I was a shade of that kind of person, afraid to be open afraid to be perceived as weak, much afraid to be the real me.  NOT to redirect our fingers to anyone else, the harsh truth is that from our very raw growing up years, [almost] all of us were taught to believe that SOFTNESS was a weakness, that your sensitivity will make you small.  Alas, over time, we end up hardened.  And as I self reflect, I thought the shell I formed around my heart would protect me from this messy world BUT all it really provided   me was a FALSE sense of safety and comfort that painfully prevented my growth.  Being SOFT In A HARD World!!!

YES, can we agree that it is an illusion to believe that hardening our hearts and hiding our softness from this messy world is productive enough?  WHEN we fear being vulnerable and we hide WHO we are, we only create more division.  Because deep down, let's admit, we are all SOFT.  We're all squishy.  We're all vulnerable.  And YET, we all desire to be seen.  BUT here's the mother of all ironies.  HOW can we be seen IF we aren't allowing ourselves to be seen?  NOW, to complicate the murky waters we're now threading, another hard truth is that it's already hard to be soft WHEN life itself is hard, right?  BUT our ability to stay soft in the hardness is WHAT makes us strong📘📙📗

Ironically, it is indeed scary to allow the pain to wash through us because WHEN we allow the pain to be felt, that's WHEN we break, that's WHEN the shell that's wrapped around us begin to thin until it gradually cracks out in the open.  So fine.  Someone will tell us, let it crack.  Let is break open and fall onto the ground into a million bits of pieces because WHEN we do, that's WHEN we become soft.  And here's the thing.  WHEN have we ever seen something that is soft so easy to break???

We've seen hundreds and maybe thousands of children WHO are, undoubtedly, soft BUT how often have we seen a majority of them easily breaking?  Now, let's call a spade a spade.  We were all born soft, that's just our natural way of being.  BUT staying soft in a hard world has now become a superpower.  Our softness makes us magnetic.  Our softness makes us human.  Our softness makes us seen.  And ISN'T it that's we all wanted all along, that is, to be seen???

Our takeaway:  This is WHEN I'd like to heed the advice of psychologists WHO declared that WHEN life gets hard and things go wrong, the most counterintuitive and seemingly impossible choice is to relax, to soften, and find ease with WHAT's happening.  HOW can we [and BTW, WHY should we, anyway] relax WHEN life feels seemingly out of control and NOT in a good way at that?  WHEN difficulty spikes, we end up fighting with it, brace against it.  Our resistance is our way of saying that we're NOT okay with reality, and instead, insisting that we can change it.  BUT unfortunately it DOESN'T work and it DOESN'T help.  Think about BEING SOFT IN A HARD WORLD!!!

Of Winners And Whiners

Of Winners And Whiners

Other than their closely similar sounds, WHAT differentiates the Winners And Whiners?  NOT to overwhelm you, dude, BUT the fact is, there is a mega ultra huge disconnect between WINNERS and WHINERS, too wide enough to be comparable to Pacific Ocean, it being the biggest ocean in the world.  BUT back to Winners And Whiners.  This is WHEN in the NBA world, men are separated from the boys and even men with less grit are ejected from a team of 'DAWGs'.  That explains why the vaunted 'MIAMI CULTURE' is both admired and hated in the NBA.  Admired because it has proven its grit since it joined the NBA. WHEREAS, it is hated by those who fail to keep up with the exacting and rigid expectations of the Miami Heat ballclub.  Going around the NBA landscape, most basketball gurus are in unison that only a select few are cut for that MIAMI HEAT CULTURE!!!

So, here's a frank question for you.  Are you a WHINER or a WINNER?  More than just a play of words here, that difference can mean either success OR stagnation [apologies for that quite frightening adjective].  So, here's another frank question.  WHY is it some people seem to be that constantly turbo-boosted ahead WHILE others are stagnant and remain in the same chair doing the same job for donkey years?  Can we draw a correlation here between the chronic complainers versus the perpetual doers?  YES, in the pursuit of success, it is essential to distinguish between behaviors that propel some people forward WHILE holding back some of us.  At this point, rather than we reinvent the wheel, let us pick on the brains of the experts in their fields and they are one in saying that the way to go is for us to differentiate the WINNERS versus the WHINERS📗📙📘

• WHINERS are into negativity, WHINERS remain positive.
• WHINERS focus on problems, WINNERS seek solutions.
• WHINERS blame others, WINNERS take the responsibility.
• WHINERS procrastinate, WINNERS take concrete actions.
• WHINERS seek validation WINNERS maintain confidence
• WHINERS resist change, WINNERS embrace innovations
• WHINERS get impacted by setbacks, WINNERS motivated
• WHINERS complain its not in in their control, WINNERS focus on WHAT they can influence the end-results.
• WHINERS give up when they 'hit the wall', WINNERS remain resilient and go on despite the rough patches along the road

In a nutshell, once we self-reflect, WHETHER deep inside we would realize that we are 'closet' WHINERS or perennial WINNERS, the distinction between them lies in attitudes, actions, and our responses to challenges we face in life.  By cultivating the traits of a WINNER, such as resilience, responsibility, and proactive problem-solving, YES let's celebrate because there is NO monopoly for the ability to unlock that potential💥💥💥

Our takeaway:   Despite all these delineations that are as clear as water, WHAT makes me sadder is that, through the years, I did interact with WHINERS but the sadder part is that they WON'T even admit and acknowledge that they are WHINERS.  And that's the biggest gaping hole you can get trapped, WHEN you yourself WON'T admit and acknowledge it.  For many Christians, before you go to the confessional to confess and seek forgiveness, there has to be an ACT OF CONTRITION, as otherwise, you cannot take the next step of rectifying and RIGHTING THE WRONGs dude😃😃😃

Relationships Top The Charts!

Relationships Top The Charts!

One huge disconnect through centuries is that we are into relationships because it's something we want to, whether it's a romantic. familial or traditional relationship, relationships we form with people are vital to our mental and emotional well-being and even our survival.  True, we humans have an inherent desire to be close to other people.  YES, Relationships Top The Charts!!!

Let's hear it from the experts who claim that social support is a very important part of being a human, and therefore, WHEN social relationships break down OR are damaged, it can have a big impact on our mental health and well-being.  And they add that it SHOULDN'T come down to just one relationship.  One psychologist declared that "IT'S IMPORTANT TO NOT FOCUS ON TRYING TO GET EVERYTHING YOU NEED FROM ONE RELATIONSHIP"📗📙📘

Instead, we are encouraged to focus on having a network of social support with a variety of different types of relationships to hold up our well-being and even quality of life.  And I agree that a positive relationship can be shared between any two people WHO support, encourage, and help each other physically as well as emotionally.  And here's WHEN thing can get tricky because 'healthy communications' can have a thousand versions.  Instead:

• Understand WHERE the other person is coming from.
• Be willing to hear someone even if you think it's untrue.
• Listen WITHOUT preparing your rebuttal OR response

Collating how I witnessed from my 'observation deck', let us consider the following proven good practices:

• LISTEN to each other WITHOUT pre-judgments
• REMEMBER relevant details about each other
• MAKE TIME for each other.  It's a MUST-DO
• Work COLLABORATIVELY [not individually]
• FOCUS on a mutually beneficial relationship 
• TRUST and RESPECT each other, period
• ENGAGE in healthy activities TOGETHER

Our takeaway here:  Pooling all our needs, wants and likes, NOTHING beats RELATIONSHIPS but if there is one thing often missed out is that, unlike the airborne flights, after building up and reinforcing the foundations of a RELATIONSHIP, you CAN'T leave it at that, to fly on auto-pilot mode because all these RELATIONSHIPS will remain in a work-in-progress mode [even at the peak of its strength]. Once you loose your guard, the very robust foundations can gradually waiver and weaken till it crumbles.  Yes dude, RELATIONSHIPS TOP THE CHARTS!!!