Never Sell Your Friend 'DOWN THE RIVER

Never Sell Your Friend 'DOWN THE RIVER'

We have been harping and harping over and over again that we need to CHOOSE your friends and for those with a mile-long FB friends list, to prune it down more to validate rather than to literally cut down genuine and real friendships.  Now, what brings a full circle back?  It is on the assumption that your FRIENDS LIST has now been cleansed.  So what's next for us?  It's for us to signoff in that unwritten covenant that we should Never Sell Your Friend 'DOWN THE RIVER [regardless of circumstances].

On the other hand, we are taught [both in our cultures and upbringing] to value our genuine and real friends 'AS FAMILY' as much as possible.  WHY?  Because genuine friends are those to whom you can run to, when all your chips are down, when you are at your ebb, your lowest point.  Of course you're friends will celebrate with you your successes but that's only half of what friends are for.

In fact, there's this age-old widely accepted fact that while you CANNOT choose your family and relatives, we can CHOOSE the friends we deserve. Not to make a sweeping statement that all eggs are rotten because that is a fallacy, the flipside of this fact is that there are both good and rotten eggs.  It's for you to choose then.

And it is a given that as there could be good as much as rotten eggs, it becomes our CHOICE whether we want to be right next to either good or rotten eggs.  And if you end up with the rotten eggs, your guess is as good as mine.  What happens when you end up with that basket of rotten eggs?  Think about it, consequences are the resultant effect of the choices we make

But honestly, I can attest to have witnessed where someone did SELL his/her friend DOWN THE RIVER, practically sacrificing that friendship.  And that's when we would hear people 'CRYING A RIVER' because a dearly valued genuine friend has been dumped for whatever reason.  So, let us think things through.  DON'T jump on spur of the moment decisions influenced by anything other than what is rational and logical📌📌📌

Best Foot Forward?

Best Foot Forward? 

Best Foot Forward? C'mon dude, think about it a thousand times because that's not something to be casually done, without pausing for a second or two if indeed you need to put your Best Foot Forward which really caught my attention when a famous former Olympic equestrienne shared her personal story when she finally accepted her husband who was then courting her years back.  One day when her then fiance was driving during the early stages of their getting-to-know each other, there was a rude driver who cut through their direction and her then fiance blurted out with a 'F__K' expression and she turned to him, dumb founded how can he blurt that four-letter word.

Another time, arother day, they got caught in a traffic snarl they didn't expect especially since they were running against time to catch up an appointment.  And right therein, she heard him again blurt that 'F__K" word and again, she turned and looked shocked how can he blurt that four-letter word.  This time, he asked her:  "DO YOU WANT MY BEST FOOT FORWARD"???

So, seriously, when "DO YOU WANT THAT BEST FOOT FORWARD"?  If you're in a marathon or sprint competition, GO FOR IT with your BEST FOOT FORWARD.  If you are in the job market angling for your dream job, yes, GO FOR IT with your BEST FOOT FORWARD.  But other than those circumstances, if you are wooing the dream girl of your life, why put your BEST FOOT FORWARD?

For now, let's consult Mr Webster's definition of that  BEST FOOT FORWARD thing and it states that it means TO BEHAVE VERY WELL IN ORDER TO GAIN SOMEONE's APPROVAL.    Well said.  So, what does this tell us.  In our interactions with our partner/spouse, with our immediate families, our close coterie of friends and confidants and your BFFs, why do you need to put your BEST FOOT FORWARD?  When what behooves is for you to be TRUE and GENUINE enough whether it's your persona, your character, even your mannerisms and behavior.

What's the probable scenario when we end up with that BEST FOOT FORWARD mindset?  That could lead us to end up lurking out at our shoe rack because you will never find the BEST SHOE every time you need to put that BEST FOOT FORWARD.  What's our insight here?  You can put your BEST FOOT FORWARD but that WON'T bring you far enough.  Who knows you might suffer a setback.  Think about with that BEST FOOT FORWARD mindset❗❗❗

Why Seek A Debt One Can't Pay

Why Seek A Debt One Can't Pay

Not until today, throughout my life, I always believed that we SHOULD see a debt we are owed.  Not until I was watching a Netflix docu today wherein the bereaved sibling was pragmatic to state "Why Seek A Debt He Can't Pay".  That triggered me to really pause and end up in a state of stupor.  And in the middle of getting stalled, I realized how way long overdue my realization is.  Then I challenged myself if I was having a very narrowed view of things for me to realize this late?

For the longest time, I stuck it out with the hardline principle I learned from my father right from our formative years when he'll always push that where you are on the receiving end and shortchanged.  To settle that score, he would always take that hardline approach for an 'eye for an eye' and a 'tooth for a tooth'.  

And BTW, talking about Debt One Can't Pay is NOT all about financials.  It could be more about relationships.  Probably your partner or spouse having hurt you emotionally and obviously you got hurt.  But for the meantime what can you do?  Would you buy time for you to settle a score?  What if there is no realistic 'modus vivendi' to settle things.  Why can't you consider FORGIVING and hitting the RESET button as a safe way out?

Allow me to grab this poster from Project Forgive as it says it all:  YOU ARE GENUINELY HEALING WHEN YOU CAN FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS FOR BEING JUST AS FLAWED AS EVERYONE ELSE.  And BTW, this is NOT just about our parents who may have erred.  Could be any Tom, dick and Harry who crossed paths with you and did owe you an explanation.

BTW, forgiveness means different things to different people.  Generally, however, it involves a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.  The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help free you from the control of the person who harmed you.  Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of UNDERSTANDING, EMPATHY and COMPASSION for the one who hurt you.  Forgiveness does NOT mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm.  Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps us go on with our life.  At the end of the day, let us come to terms with the fact that it is pointless to seek Debt One Can't Pay📌📌📌

Life Has NO Do-Overs

 Life Has NO Do-Overs

Is there a SECOND CHANCE?  Probably Second Chance Ave.  Other than that, let's establish this:  that Life Has NO Do-Overs.  Whoever made you believe that you've got a SECOND CHANCE must be making a fool of you.  Simply put, that's all baloney because you can say what you want but nothing in life will give you that opportunity for a SECOND CHANCE, even if you ask for it in bended knees.

To quote respected motivational speaker and life coach Tony Gaskins, THERE ARE NO DO-OVERS IN LIFE.  EVERY MOVE COSTS TIME, SO MAKE YOUR NEXT MOVE YOUR BEST MOVE!  And yet, till now, we here from all corners and nooks the same refrain, DON'T WORRY, YOU GOT YOUR SECOND CHANCE.  But here's the thing.  Reality is, your first chance is your last chance.  And if you're angling for a second chance, so sorry sirrrrrrrrs, no one guarantees us that that will come.  Because it WON'T.  So what's our lesson here.  Take every chance damn seriously.  No half-hearted tries.  No mid-efforts because life has NO do-overs.

Let's consult couples who celebrated their golden anniversary as to what's the trick they lasted together that long?  Very likely we will hear from them that what egged them is because life has NO do-overs.  But not to go in despair, nothing is lost.  If you made mistakes, learn from it and move on.  DON'T dwell on your past.  That will only hold you back.  And in case you did hurt someone, APOLOGIZE.  A sincere apology would go a long way in repairing relationships and rebuild trust.

Keep in mind that an apology is not a guarantee of forgiveness.  But even if you are not forgiven, your apology can help repair the relationship and start the healing process.  Creating something akin to a SECOND CHANCE is to reach out to others.  When we're struggling, it can be easy to feel alone and like no one understands us.  Thing is, never shut off the doors for another chance

Now, when we make mistakes, learn from it.  What led you to that situation you're in? What could you have done differently?  How can you prevent yourself from making the same mistake again?  Asking yourself these questions will help you grow as a person and make better choices in the future.  And one of the best things you can do with a second chance is to make positive changes in your life.  Making positive changes can be difficult but it is important to realize that while life has NO do-overs, when a door closes, figure out how a window of opportunity will open for you📌📌📌

When 'WHITE LIE' Is Acceptable

When 'WHITE LIE' Is Acceptable

Indeed, there is NO saint all over our Planet Earth.  Not even within Vatican City.  So When does a lie become A 'WHITE LIE'?  Allow me to share this Quora.com post of Christian Odinson last November 3rd.  A Russian soldier ran up to a nun.  Out of breath, he asked "PLEASE MAY I HIDE UNDER YOUR SKIRT?"  The nun agreed.  A moment later, two military police ran up and

asked, "SISTER, HAVE YOU SEEN A SOLDIER?" The nun replied. "HE WENT THAT WAY".  After the military police left, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH, SISTER.  ITS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GO TO UKRAINE".  He added "I HOPE I'M NOT RUDE BUT YOU HAVE A GREAT PAIR OF LEGS".  The nun replied, "IF YOU LOOKED A LITTLE HIGHER, YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN A GREAT PAIR OF BALLS TOO.  BTW, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO UKRAINE TOO".

So, please DON'T get me wrong.  I not here to condone and encourage WHITE LIES but in life, there will be circumstances that are never premeditated which somehow leads us to accept when a WHITE LIE may be that acceptable.  When you are under COERCION or DURESS [an extreme example is when a thief points a gun at you, demanding you to withdraw from your ATM.  A WHITE LIE that you deny you have an ATM is acceptable.

When you need to protect your name, honor and credibility without besmirching others, a WHITE LIE is acceptable as long as it doesn't become morally or legally wrong.  When sometimes you are down to your last $$$$ on your wallet and someone requests for a small amount of loan, a WHITE LIE stating that you are penniless is fine if it is for the welfare of yourself and your family.

At the end of the day, what should prevail is the protection, security and welfare of yourself and your family as long as it is within the bounds of the law.  We are NOT here to encourage anyone to breach any of the federal, local or even moral laws because.  Instead, what is imperative is that when your 'LIFE IS ON THE LINE', do what it takes to protect and keep yourself and your name untainted and unsullied but without the ill intent of deception and deceit because that throws us to the other side of the fence.  Just be mindful when a WHITE LIE is acceptable✅✅✅

DON'T Be An Ostrich Who Buries its Head in the Sand

 DON'T Be An Ostrich Who Buries its Head in the Sand

For a change, let's slightly veer towards the ostrich but not to dissect its anatomy but rather to wet our appetite to the fact that An Ostrich Buries its Head in the Sand.  So, who wants to be an Ostrich?  But not to be defensive, I'm quite sure not one of us would want to but what happens if we replicate that habit of the Ostrich Burying its Head in the Sand?  And before we castigate the poor Ostrich, why do they bury their head in the sand?  It's their habit when nesting or when they want to avoid or get threatened by predators.  

Oh Oh, not a valid reason for us humans to borrow, right?But are we aware that several times [and for some, probably many times] in our life, we are very much akin to the Ostrich that buries its head in the sand?  How many times we made fumbling acts and when we had to face the consequences, we were like the  Ostrich that buries its head in the sand?  Or when we were confronted to right the wrong but we turned a deaf ear and a blind eye?  Or when we know we erred but refused to accept and make a 'mea culpa'?

OR when you offended or hurt someone but to rub salt on the open wound, you DON'T only accept the mistake but worse you are NOT even remorseful.  OR when you have a real problem, a damn crisis on your hands but you refused to accept the fact that you're beset with that crisis. 

OR when all you need to look at things wide-eyed but you would rather look at the other direction?  OR when you are staring at potential red flags but you just shrugged it off?  OR when you owe your spouse/partner an explanation but with your bloated EGO & PRIDE all rolled into one, you end up so callous and insensitive because your selfishness prevails over you

So, what could be your end point here?  Not to be riding on the coattails of Nostradamus but it's likely that one day, you will find yourself walking right through the all-welcoming mouth of the unforgiving crocodile who'll just feast on you till it squeezes the very last drop and drip of blood from you.  So, please let us not be an Ostrich who buries its head in the sand📌📌📌

The Fish Rots From The Head Down

 The Fish Rots From The Head Down

Borrowing a French expression, "The Fish Rots From The Head Down" is something more than just another no-brainer because logic and rational do tell us that, that exactly what it really is.  But why are we spending time on this today?  It's because some of us tend to be off-track sometimes, thinking that to get rotten does NOT really start from the head down?  How often have we heard stories wherein a previously successful person suddenly went down on a tailspin because everything went up to his head until that head was outsized and too much for him to handle📌📌📌

Back into our lives, how relevant is this French expression that "The Fish Rots From The Head Down"?  Heard of stories back in school when we had a classmate who was the perennial #1 in class year-on-year until, one day, his scholastic standing just went down the drain as fast as that shooting star cruising down fast to Earth❓❓❓

And who's our worst enemy?  More often, our enemy is our very own self.  Think when our EGO grows beyond normal proportions such that most of the things we need to undertake are more influenced and dictated by our outsized EGO rather than rational thinking lording it over us.  And when our EGO takes over our own self, does this dovetail that "The Fish Rots From The Head Down"

By the time our workplace becomes our secondary home, we would have fully adjusted day-in day-out until such time you steadily go up the ranks, at least from a tenure perspective.  And this is when I could attest having witnessed "The Fish getting rotten From The Head Down" because often, our outgrown and outsized EGO would literally take over our self📌📌📌

So what's our cheat sheet to avert and disprove that "The Fish Rots From The Head Down"?  This poster says it all.  EGO, kill it.  LOVE, value it.  SMILE, keep it.  GOSSIP, ignore it.  SUCCESS, achieve it.  JEALOUSY, distance it.  KNOWLEDGE, acquire it.  CONFIDENCE, trust it.  In a nutshell, what this tells us that when you plunge into the waters, split and divide the waters the way the Red Sea's waters parted apart.  Most importantly, we need to disprove that "The Fish Rots From The Head Down"📕📗📘

A Shred of Truth OR A Grain of Truth

A Shred of Truth OR A Grain of Truth 

Tough times indeed.  And the mother of all ironies is that information and TRUTH for that matter is all over the place, some within reach although a lot more, you have to exert extra efforts to eke out the TRUTH you want to have.  And with the proliferation of mobile applications and a lot more on-the-fly tools and software, it is surprising that some of us still end up holding on to information that is either UNTRUE or UNVERIFIABLE.

In the not so distant past, pollsters were revered like DEMIGODS.  In fact, any data they spew off from their media releases are [almost] always] tagged as gospel truth.  I just cannot recall where the credibility and veracity of any of the poll results were ever blemished with a tinge of doubt, moreso questioned.  But not these days though.

Throw in the numbers and what do we have is, voila, pandemonium no less.  But the grim and sadder part is not the complexity of the intertwined islands of information but rather how we, hapless people, are being hoodwinked and misled with half-truths and even 'UNTRUTHS' by the very vanguards of information, civil, federal and government officials [and sadly, politicians are NOT exempted from this sweeping swath.

Not to our least surprise, many of us end up being caught in the middle of all the tera data of information, of which a good chunk is rubbish no less.  So what's the fix?  Numero Uno, DONT accept all information hook, line and sinker, regardless if your very source is either your friend, your colleague or even your family members or relatives.

To be on the safe side of things, go only for either the SHRED or GRAIN of TRUTH and no less than that.  Worst thing is when you are either bamboozled, conned or deluded to embrace an information that is either UNTRUE or just a sheer concoction of the peddlers of misinformation.  We just DON'T want to end up on the receiving end other than the SHRED and GRAIN of TRUTH✅✅✅

'PEOPLE PLEASING' And How To Overcome it

'PEOPLE PLEASING' And How To Overcome It 

PLEASING is one of the most popular [and admittedly] overused word of intent ever in life.  From our early formative years, no less than our parents and teachers all immersed us with the age-old value of pleasing people, starting obviously with your family, your relatives, your friends till it gets an extended coverage to encompass friends and even friends of friends.  But how about PLEASING Customers as a best practice?

Being someone who PLEASES people sounds on the face of it, like a very good idea.  But it is a pattern of behavior riddled with problems as much for the perpetrator as for its audience.  The 'PEOPLE-PLEASER' is someone who might at times be oneself who feels they have no option but to mould themselves to the expectations of others. The irony here is that one could be harboring all manners of secret 

Putting it bluntly, we could say that the 'PEOPLE-PLEASER' is a liar.  It sounds brutal but the 'PEOPLE-PLEASER' may be lying for poignant reasons and NOT in order to gain an advantage but because they are terrified of the displeasure of others.  To understand the 'PEOPLE-PLEASER', we need to look at their past which almost invariably involves an early experience of being around people who may seem radically incapable of accepting and forgiving certain necessary facts.

If there is any exception where we will all welcome the 'PEOPLE-PLEASER' approach, it is for CUSTOMERS.  DON'T look far.  We can attest to how easy and quick [in two steps] one can cancel his NETFLIX subscription when he opts to, all thanks to NETFLIX for being focused to be the same reputed 'PEOPLE-PLEASER' to its customers.  But other than this exception, 'PEOPLE-PLEASER' has no place in our life.

So how do we fix this conundrum of being a 'PEOPLE-PLEASER'?  Simple and easy.  Be WHO YOU ARE.  Be WHAT YOU ARE.  Make your judgment calls on your very own volition.  NO ONE and NOTHING should push you to the corner simply to be a  'PEOPLE-PLEASER' because that doesn't make you and your life true and genuine enough.  Enough of being a 'PEOPLE-PLEASER'📌📌📌

For Every ACTION, There Is A REACTION

For Every ACTION, There Is A REACTION

Today's piece is NOT about Physics but allow me please to take the courtesy of revisiting one of Sir Isaac Newton's Laws of ACTION and REACTION wherein it states that For Every ACTION, There Is A REACTION.  Ok, enough, we won't get in a Physics thread as well but instead, look back into our lives and digest and absorb the truism of Newton's third law right into our life please.

BTW, Karma is the very law of CAUSE and EFFECT.  Your action or way of thinking creates a CAUSE and in time will see and feel the EFFECTS it has in your life.  Your ACTS and THOUGHTS are entirely your responsibility, making your karma entirely your own.  Every one of your thoughts and actions will create an equal and opposite reaction, which is why it is IMPORTANT that you consider things before you COMMIT certain acts and before you wish certain things where for you or for others.

So, basically, WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND so at hindsight, DON'T send anything out that you would NOT like coming back to you.  Keeping your karma good will assure you a pleasant life. And those times you are short-changed, just retort "NO PROBLEM" when someone cuts in front of you in line.  Take that good karma.

You might wonder, what made this thread our piece today?  Credit it to the NETFLIX docu 'TINDER SWINDLER' I watched today wherein the bogus billionaire SIMON LEVIEV [BTW. he had too many aliases besides this one] threatened each of his victims with this ominous thread, that FOR EVERY ACTION, THERE IS A REACTION.  And this was proven to be 'spot on' in that NETFLIX documentary because his victims collaborated to an extent that he was eventually arrested and incarcerated [but DON'T LET YOUR GUARD DOWN because he served just a few months in prison and now he's back in TINDER].  Nevertheless, let's just get back with our own lives and subscribe to that proven mantra that indeed, FOR EVERY ACTION, THERE IS A REACTION📌📌📌