Decluttering Opinion

Decluttering Opinion

Who says that we need to blame this stubborn pandemic for triggering the need for decluttering?  Who claims that prior to pandemic, decluttering was not even a talking point?  All these are straight away fictional because as far back as we got to live in this planet, a kibitzer or busybody will always be around us, and that includes well-meaning people with the best intentions to share their opinion to you, albeit unsolicited.  And DON'T get me wrong, people close to you do deserve to be heard, to be given that attention once they start sharing even when you least expected.  Why do you need to lend them an ear? Simple.  They have the best intentions for you.

But other than people we trust including our own family members, expect the expected.  Any Tom, Dick and Harry may never stop offloading to you his/her bottomless pit of opinion.  And guess the end result?  Likely, you may end up in a "P.A." mode a.k.a. 'paralyzed analysis.  Seriously, that is the common end-result when we are literally 'bombarded with tons of opinions that you end up fixated till you hear the next opinion coming.

Instead, don't we envision ourselves in the same shoes of this relaxed lady just biding her time on her sofa?  She just seems so decluttered and instead, so focused at the TV program she's glued at.  So, what are the tricks so that a busybody and kibitzer will hardly unnecessarily eat up your time and worse, leading you to ill-advised decisions?  It does not take a rocket science for us to figure things out though.

Simple.  SEPARATE THE GRAIN FROM THE CHAFF.  While this is no less an idiomatic expression, let us break this down in layman's terms.  Simply put, let us be capable to detect the substance from the non-substantial, the meat from the bones, the core versus the shells, the relevant versus the irrelevant, the sincere souls versus the strangers, the serious stuff versus the hollowed ones.  Even amongst friends or one's so called 'cordon sanitaire', you still need to set apart the helpful ones versus the disruptive ones.

What is it we want to achieve here?  Simple.  An environment which and where you are in FULL CONTROL of, at least for those controllable.  The right jars at the right nook, the right canister at the right pigeon hole.  With opinions, DON'T waste time to rubbish the crap and do give value to the sensible stuff.  At the end of the day, you got take reins to start decluttering opinions around📌📌📌

Are Your Wings CLIPPED ?

Are Your Wings CLIPPED ?

How many times in life when you wanted to fly but it seemed as your wings were CLIPPED?  Now guess what happens next?  Your guess is as good as mine.  And likely, when our wings get clipped, what could have happened?  Absolutely nothing.  But if you were able to take off or initiate an attempt, likely that attempt failed or got aborted.  All simply because your wings were CLIPPED

Oh well, what does it exactly mean when your wings are CLIPPED?  You could be a diligent student and you have your [proven] way of getting ready for your next day exams.  Yet, in the middle of your studies, your parent or elder sibling walks in and literally dictates upon you what and how should you study.  Or you could be a diligent worker and during operations, you have identified improvement areas and wanted to initiate or introduce an innovation yet you're just fully aware of the ground rule at work which disallows any one to ever initiate or introduce any innovation except to hue to the operations manual.

Imagine yourself or your neck struggling to move forward because a huge heavy stone is tied around your neck.  How can you move forward if indeed your wings are CLIPPED? Let's delve into relationships.  How often have you heard a partner or a spouse [MEEKLY] complaining that she really feels suffocated in the relationship because she has to follow a long list of house rules that includes insane ground rules like [hold your breath].... You CAN'T go out of the house till I arrive.  You can't budget our finances unless I instruct you.  You can't decide on anything unless you clear everything to me, whew. 

Why do we need to unclip our wings?  Let me rattle off the reasons why.  First off, you need to LIVE YOUR LIFE.  Even if you are the pet child of your parents, even if you love your partner/spouse way beyond the roof, even if you very deeply respect your parents both as a filial respect and out of your local customs and traditions, please NEVER LOSE SIGHT that you got to LIVE YOUR LIFE because at the end of the day, you need to stand up by decisions you will make in life, regardless if they were the correct or wrong decisions.  In fact, with wrong decisions, you will have to bear the consequences, which will only mold you to be more mature.  There's no better way for you to get matured ❗❗❗

Have You Picked Your POISON Yet?

Have You Picked Your POISON Yet?

Oh, have you picked your POISON yet?  Or are you one of the intransigent minority who simply refuses to recognize that our lifetime is littered with poison around us.  Not your choice.  Not your liking.  But that's simply the very harsh truth.  You could be a student now.  Or an up and coming yuppie worker.  Or someone dead serious to commit for a lifetime .  Or an entrepreneur ends up contemplating whether to fold up his sinking business or take up a bank loan to try resuscitating his failing business.  Or have you heard of that relationship where the battered wife refuses to leave her abusive husband simply because she does not want people to see her relationship ending up as an utter failure.

We got to realize that our lives are structured around making decisions. Everyday we make simple choices and yet bigger decisions [that could probably change our lives or even impact our lives or even our loved ones.  So how do we go about this quandary?  I heard this advice so many times in the past. "FOLLOW YOUR INTUITION".  When we feel stuck or indecisive, it's typically because we are disconnected from ourselves.  When faced with "i DON'T KNOW" stalled points, we need to take a TIME OUT and listen to the 'SILENT WHISPERS' of our soul.  Take a few deep breaths.  Close your eyes and TAP INTO YOUR INTUITION.    

Run each choice through your mind and notice how your body responds.  If you feel contracted or feel a 'pit in your stomach', that is a clear 'NO".  If you feel 'fluttery' [but quite expansive and excited], that's a 'YES' but you're just being stretched out of your comfort zone.  So, GO FOR IT.  To quote Camille Sacco, a renown meditation instructor, MEDITATE and LISTEN to your INNER WISDOM.  Meditate and ask for that guidance from within.  And challenge yourself by asking yourself for the Nth time if that is the answer that will make you proud for you to tell your family or friends.  Note that sometimes, it's not deciding between the devil and the deep blue sea because at times, it's about deciding on two good options, leaving you to discern where are you better off✅✅✅

Reclaiming 'LOST SPACE'

Reclaiming 'LOST SPACE'

Oh, how many of us have lost that 'space' in life which we felt we owned or at the very least, we deserved to have but lost instead?  Need for samplings?  Sure.  How many felt that they can't manage their very own time anymore?  And how about losing that 'proprietary privacy'?  And how's that control to make your very own decisions?  And how about that entrepreneur whose revenues are skyrocketing BUT the bulkof his revenues are just 'RECEIVABLES' impacting his cash flow? Do you now want to Reclaim 'LOST SPACE'?

Unfortunately, we are NOT akin to our compjuter hard disk when all we need to do is run a DISK CLEANUP and run DEFRAG.  Then voila, you have reclaimed 'LOST SPACE'.  In life, it is complex web of layers and silos scattered all over the place which you need to really 'drill and dice' before figuring out how you can reclaim 'LOST SPACE'.  Studies show that 30% fail to reclaim that 'LOST SPACE'.  Why?

Thing is, many of us DON'T realize that doing a balancing act between our own life and our life at work is most crucial because once you tilt lopsidedly the weight on side, your boat can simply overturn and run aground.  In blunt and frank terms, what this means, your life can end up like a 'TRAIN WRECK' unless you are successful enough with your own WORK-LIFE BALANCE.  Just last week, one of my ex-team leads years back reached out to me because of her intent to apply back to our company [when in fact she's now employed as a manager in one of the country's oldest and biggest company.  I asked why she wants to come back?  According to her, it's because of WORK-LIFE BALANCE.  In real terms, she wants to reclaim that 'LOST SPACE'.   

So?  How do you reclaim that 'LOST SPACE'?  First off, recognize that indeed you 'LOST SPACE'.  Unless you recognize and accept that as a problem, no way you'll figure things out.  Next, DO THINGS YOU ENJOY.  There's a time and place to be hard-working.  But you shouldn't be working 24/7, right?  Why let things take over your life?  So how?  Set work limits [unless you're manning 24x7 operations and a major incident is escalated to you].  

When you need to stand up to commitments you made to your family, stand up to it.  How?  'UNPLUG FROM WORK' [unless you're manning 24/7 operations and you got an escalation, oh poor you].  In a nutshell, to reclaim that 'LOST SPACE' is not akin to Mount Everest being too steep and cruel to climb.  All it takes is our WILL POWER, that persistence to get back on track [before you get off-tracked forever] ✅✅✅

Be READY So You DON'T Need To Get READY

Be READY So You DON'T Need To Get READY

Is it worth it to spend time today for us to discuss this 'GETTING READY' thing?  Too bad, many will argue that this is a non-issue because people get ready when they see the need to get ready.  Wrong, off track, invalid reaction.  Too much time have been wasted.  Too much pressure have pushed people against the wall.  Tons of unnecessary effort have been exerted.  Mutiple levels of anxiety endured.  All because it happens when we simply miss out to Be READY when in fact we DIDN'T Need To Get READY for us to be READY.  Instead, we would end up one, two or even ten steps behind.

DON'T look too far.  Just look at those expectant mothers.  Why is it very very rare for us to find expectant mothers running like headless chickens, panicking when they start feeling the labor pains?  Simple.  It's because they are always READY way ahead of those birth pains.  When that do they gain out of that super-advanced preparations ?  When it's time to face the urgency, they DON'T Need To Get READY at all, as in nothing.  What do they gain out of that readiness all the way back?

Of course, you can always opt to take the side of Sponge Bob and share his frustration when he readied up everything for Valentine's Day only to end up with no date.  What did he lose from that?  Obviously frustration creeps in.  But let's turn things around.  If he didn't get ready and his Valentine Day date pops up, won't he feel that pent up pressure that will blow out right on his face, all because he wasn't ready?  Well, there's always that argument. Wouldn't all my efforts go for naught when all the things I readied up turns out of no use?

I remember the years prior to this pandemic, every year we had our collective opportunity as a family to take a memorable vacation at least once a year.  But before that holiday kicks in, myself and my wife spent enormous time and effort.  Budgets and financials is one but the biggest component in getting ready for that annual family holiday are all the logistics and of course, figuring out WHEN is the best time to book the flights and the hotels?

Look no farther than all the successful names in sports.  In NBA, we don't need to mention the big-star names like Lebron James.  Name even the average NBA player.  He spends hours and hours per day, sometimes by himself together with his trainer, honing the areas where he is either weak or even aiming to strengthen his existing forte with the aim of ramping up.  When the buzzer sounds, see how these NBA players go all-out.  Be READY So You DON'T Need To Get READY

When Everyone Wants a Piece of You

When Everyone Wants a Piece of You

Does this sound familiar, when everyone wants a piece of you?  This should not be another shocking news to everyone I guess?  Especially the past two years when we all got locked out by this pandemic, ending up with virtual and remote work which we all [wrongly] thought as another 'walk in the park'.  Alas, it didn't shape up that way.  Instead, it was 'POOR ME', the hapless virtual worker now working from home not because we opted for it.  And that mindset that we could recline back in our chair and just go through with the motion just didn't happen either.  Instead, when everyone wants a piece of you.

For some of us, it was kind of TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE for us to realize that this remote and virtual work we all had no choice to opt out the past two years but instead, we often ended up in a quandary by asking ourselves [haplessly and helplessly] how can we live, survive and wiggle out when everyone wants a piece of you?  C'mon, let's NOT give up so easily.  We can lift ourselves out of that vicious cycle but this will take concerted and collaborative efforts NOT just from you but from all the parties and entities you're working with these days.

Clinging to the old cliche 'better late than never', we'll share with you some basic ground rules when everyone wants a piece of you.  First off, MAINTAIN a default schedule and define your official work time versus your time after work.  Then, MAINTAIN those work hours.  Resist from deviating, where possible.

Then, leverage on that commute-free time.  Need to realize that your pre-pandemic total travel time can be utilized as part of your personal free time.  Catch is, use the time for SOMETHING GOOD, whether that's more R&R time to manage stress or a fun project you have been wanting to start on.  Now for the no-brainer.  Ensure that your workplace at home is comfortable enough and away from the 'traffic' of people within your home.  Now, BEWARE THE LURE OF THE COUCH.  If a couch is nearby your workstation, slouching on the couch for extended periods may cause you to slacken as well.

Now, DON'T be too tough on yourself.  You gotta take morning and mid-afternoon breaks, whatever it takes.  Now, STAY CONNECTED.  Quick phone calls to friends and consider even virtual lunches to catch up with your friends.  Now, RESIST distractions and disruptions from within your home and neighborhood.  Oops DON'T overlook your health.  In fact, be in the pink of health.  Bottom-line, when everyone wants a piece of you,  you know what to do next ❗❗❗

Would You Rather Be BITTER or BETTER ?

Would You Rather Be BITTER or BETTER ?

Would You Rather Be BITTER or BETTER ?  Oh, this may seem to just be another casual question but dive deeper, this could all lead us to deep-seated arguments as to why we should waste our time with a play for words.  But hold on.  This is NOT a play for words.  The message we'd like to drive is that with just a 'one letter' difference, there's a huge difference being 'BITTER' or 'BETTER'.

Sometimes, we too oversimplify our daily lives.  At times, we thought that being 'BITTER' or 'BETTER' is pure semantics.  But hey, being 'BITTER' or being 'BETTER' are worlds apart.  How many times in our life where we 'BITTER'?  And what benefits did we derive out of that 'BITTERNESS' ? I'm afraid you ended up with feelings of anxiety, stress and maybe undue and unnecessary negativities enveloping you even as you were going through your daily activities?  Didn't you feel the undue burden arising from that 'BITTERNESS'  which randomly may even lead you to anger and worse, to being loathsome and hateful?

Either way, being 'BITTER' or 'BETTER' could lead you to live a life that is positive or you choose, a life of negativities? Be 'BETTER' instead of being 'BITTER'.  We need to remind ourselves that forgiveness is important if you want to live a positive life.  Forgiveness helps you move on from the negative aspects of life.    

We need to forgive people NOT because they deserve it.  It is because you DESERVE a better life. Compassion, acceptance and forgiveness break the chain of resentment that keep you stuck in the past.  Today, we all live busy lives.  We are overwhelmed with the lure of things and material wealth.  If at all, we need to remember that we are NOT alone. 

No one lives a full life without having to experience at least one disappointment, setback or challenge.  Every person you see in your life has went through all these.  Exposing yourself routinely to universal problems can serve as a comfort particularly if you feel alone.  In times of personal uncertainty and isolation, the concept that "you're not alone" is very comforting.  In addition to that, seeing messages of comfort and hope cutting across becomes powerful.  From this day onwards, if there is any tinge of 'BITTERNESS' still lingering in your life, please DUMP and THROW that out pronto now, AS IN NOW for you to be 'BETTER' off  📌📌📌

QUOTE "You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don't Take" UNQUOTE

QUOTE "You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don't Take" UNQUOTE

Less I be accused of plagiarism, let me quality that the title of my piece today is quoted straight from this poster saying "You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don't Take".  Can I brag that there should be nary any arguments at all to this one-liner.  It is just so damn straightforward and simply factual.  If you are an NBA player and you got fielded in the court but you refuse to throw the ball into the cup, then you will be guaranteed that you will miss 100% of those shots you didn't take.  Whereas had you thrown up that attempt, you still have that china man's chance that that ball will go into the cup.  Having said that, it still befuddles me why many of us [including me once or twice in the past] would simply default from that chances to make it and score even if your probability is that low.

Decision points could be as casual or petty as weight loss.  Do you want to try out any of those weight loss options or NOT?  Try it and outright you can claim to have that hypothetical 1% chance of making it.  Too bad because in our lifetime, multiple times we already LOST by DEFAULT, by NOT trying at all.  Isn't that a huge waste?

You could challenge me though with tons of WHAT IFs.  WHAT IF I miss?  What are the consequences I need to face?  Oh my.  First of, definitely frustration will seep in.  And you have to brace yourself for that frustration because IT IS WHAT IT IS.  What happens next is ALL UP TO YOU.  But if you go by our natural cycle of TRY-FAIL-SUCCESS, then go through that cycle because eventually you'll make it.

Why is that darts board so popular? It's because it gives a very simplistic but visual view of our goals in life.  In your initial attempts to throw the dart, God knows, the dart itself may not even hit the dart's board not until many failed attempts.  And when do you think you will hit the bullseye?  Good question.  That could take you a thousand failed attempts or donkey years before you could make it.  But guess the feeling of making it.

Have you heard of some who took even close to eight years before graduating from the university?  Honestly, I admire them multiple times compared to people who I'm aware they spent eight years in university but till now, they never graduated from any course at all.  So, my last challenge question is Do you want to miss 100% of the shots you DON'T take !@#$%&

The Grass is Greenest When You Water It

The Grass is Greenest When You Water It

Who says the grass is greener at the other side of the fence?  Oh oh oh, hold on.  Fences now are a thing of the past.  Not even virtually in fact.  As we all co-exist now, what seems to be the only separator is a thin invisible line and nothing else.  So, if we're talking about opportunities a.k.a. grass, let's NOT pass the buck.  As we continue to be on our very own grassy knoll, DON'T look far to find for the greenest grass because The Grass is Greenest When You Water It.

Luckily, distinguishing an opportunity for growth and optimism would NOT frequently need too much effort to figure out what is crap and garbage, if at all.  Truth is, most of the time in our lives, those 'apples are scattered all over the place', waiting for our picking.  Problem is, we got so used to the abudance of all the goodness in life, such that, when there is an opportunity to grab within our fingertips, we still fail to realize that the Grass is Greenest When You Water It

Remember those times in school whenever it was our favorite subject, we usually ended up with high marks?  Why?  Because we WATERED THE GRASS.  That time we were wooing our partner/spouse, why did we successfully end up with them? Because we WATERED THE GRASS.  When we were jobhunting, why did we end up successfully?  Because we WATERED THE GRASS.  When that entrepreneur started his business, why did it grow? Because we WATERED THE GRASS.

In brief, we really DON'T need to jump over the fence to know and see that the grass is greener at the other side of the fence.  Meaning, it is all PERCEPTION.  That PERCEPTION is what spoils the broth.  That PERCEPTION is what causes us to [wrongly] think that we're on the wrong side of the fence.  Hence, we need to cross over the fence?  In real life, how many debacles have we heard?  Someone who, out of desperation, bribed people so he can fly over to Dubai for a coveted overseas work, only to end up duped? 

This poster says it all.  'NOW' means NO OPPORTUNITY WASTED.  Truth is, many of us could have [wrongly] assessed every variable in the equating in a condescending manner, thinking and cockily believing that you had all the cards stacked in your favor and there's no way for you to go wrong.  To further that truth, there are a minority of core believers that The Grass is Greenest When You Water It.  C'mon, be on the right side please📌📌📌

Never Listen to the NOISE

Never Listen to the NOISE

Oh well, we all live in a cacophonous world  of bedlam and sounds all rolled into one.  That should make us least surprised why there has been a hell lot of disconnect despite all the technology add-ons right on our fingertips.  Name it, you have it, whether it is connecting via bluetooth or having a noise-cancelling headset, not to mention all the audio conferencing tools. So how can we never Listen to the NOISE?

How often have you experienced processing so many inputs coming from so many sources, including the unsolicited ones and yet in the end, we would either end up with the wrong decisions or worse, ending up indecisive when one gets just too confused because of cacophonous 'NOISE' coming from various quarters.  Remember when you were contemplating as to what course to take in the university?

Or those times at work when you were doubtful and you ended up hearing from very opinionated colleagues, only to cause you to end up with an erroneous report?  Or remember those times when you were dead serious to commit in a relationship but there were opposing forces pulling you in opposite directions? And for entrepreneurs, how many times you Listened to the NOISE, leading you to wrong decisions?

And what could be the end result if you get way laid by the cacophonous noise all around you?  It is spelled C-H-A-O-S no less. When you become an 'UNWILLING CAPTIVE' to all the noise around you, you would lose control in coming up with 'INFORMED DECISIONS' because that's what matters most and Never to Listen to NOISE.

What's our end point then?  Envision coming up with INFORMED DECISIONS after thoroughly assessing all the PROs and CONs, after listening to all valid inputs and FILTERING anything and everything that is more akin to those unwanted noise.  Unfortunately in our lives, technology's offer for NOISE CANCELLATION is no help to fix and save us from that predicament.  Bottom line, never listen to the NOISE so that you will come up with INFORMED DECISIONS 📌📌📌