Ask And You Shall Receive

Ask And You Shall Receive

I'm sorry this is not about that Bible Verse from Matthew 7:7 which says Ask And You Shall Receive but instead, this is all about our life.  Not bad to be on the receiving end but we have seen a zillion times when even without asking, people are given and handed over with all the blessings and goodies The downside of this outpouring and overflowing help trickling in even when not asked for is that our mindsets seem to have evolved and shaped towards a direction that unintentionally leads to a mindset that veers towards DEPENDENCY.  How do we arrest this downward spiral ? We got to change our thoughts and beliefs, no other way though.

Over to a typical workplace environment, many employees [WRONGLY] feel that it is up to management to offer them new jobs.  Career frustration may be due as much to the powerlessness employees to influence their career progress as the actual lack of advancement itself.  So, while companies have to be lauded for their paternalistic approaches to employee engagement, 

indeed, helping employees to further their careers can foster employee engagement.  But paternalistic approaches can make matters worse.  Employees need to engage themselves to feel SELF-RESPECT.  Without SELF-RESPECT, they blame the organization and disengage themselves.  Doing too much for people is a problem if it erodes SELF-RESPECT.

The other side of the equation has shown us that in life, when we become recipients of way beyond our expectation, it influences us from within.  So where's the key to changing things for the better?  It is changing your thoughts and beliefs.  As thoughts drive emotion, and emotion influences behavior, by changing our THOUGHTS and BELIEFS, we can have that to contribute to your dependence.

Two aspects of our thoughts we may want to address.  The CONTENT of your thoughts and the perspective from which you make judgments and appraisals.  Various beliefs you may have that suggest your own judgment or worth is less than what other people may be contributing to your dependent behavior.  IF you believe that you're inferior, IF you are helpless, IF you feel you can't live without someone else and IF you can't make good decisions, then you got a problem, and that should wake you up now 📌📌📌

Keeping Up With The Kardashians [Not the TV Series]

Keeping Up With The Kardashians [Not the TV Series]

No Senor, today's piece Keeping Up With The Kardashians is not about that very successful American Reality TV Series which ran through for about fifteen years.  Instead, we're referencing to the Kardashians as the iconic symbol of society's upper stratum.  So by Keeping Up With The Kardashians, we mean here is pushing yourself, your lifestyle, your standards up to that level of our society's upper stratum.

Simply put, we need to recognize that NOT everyone earns the same income. Therefore, not everyone can afford to spend the same as well.  It prescribes that rather than trying to keep up with the Joneses [and their lifestyle spending, WHEW !], we should live within our means.  Yet the challenge is as income rises, living 'within your means' can 

produce what is, to most, an outsized and larger than life standard of living.  In other words, while it might seem like prudent advice for those who are of struggling means, those who lift their spending up to live within their [much greater] means may be viewed with disdain. This then raises the question of whether 'live within your means' is 

actually the right advice for anyone [regardless of income] or if the reality is that the strategy breaks down as a prudent spending recommendation at some point.  A recent research even stated that there is a "HAPPINESS THRESHOLD" beyond a level of income and associated spending within its means, more income and spending doesn't appear to actually improve our emotional well-being. But people will always argue that those who earn might have a "right" to spend more.  And that as long as they're continuing to spend within their means, it remains reasonable and prudent.  

Nonetheless, the question remains: WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN TO "LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS", and is there a point where that advice is no longer relevant or prudent?  In the simplest equation ever, if INCOME Less SPENDING ends either in ZERO or in NEGATIVE, that is indicative of DEFICIT SPENDING.  Which means, with due courtesy, NOW is the time to turnaround and change overnight, if need be 📌📌📌

NO Second Chances for First Impressions

NO Second Chances for First Impressions

Guess everyone agrees that First Impressions is Lasting, right ?  Many of us went through first-hand experiences in life, regardless whether that First Impression was so positive or negative.  Either way, that First Impression is frequently the last impression.

Question is, do we need to spend time about First Impressions?   Yesirrrrrs we have to, because many of us could have missed the boat [and likely opportunities] because we missed out ending up with a very positive and impressive First Impressions  that left its mark either to your stakeholders, to your prospective client or to the girl you are earnestly trying to woo.

Not to imply that you were belting out songs so you can create that First Impression to the girl that really caught your heart.  But it happens that this practice is as old as our forefathers.  Each one of us figured it out to create a First Impressions because we were so motivated to realize a coveted result, be it the girl accepting your persistent wooing or your attempt to get into the good graces of stakeholders or your bosses.  And if you are an entrepreneur, surely, you didn't leave a stone unturned to acquire new clients. 

When you were window-shopping for appliances or even laptos, didn't you notice that shops always do their darn best to create First Impressions?  How?  They made sure that the best LCDs with those eye-poppiing resolutions would catch your eye till you get glued to those displays.  And before you know it, here you go, walking into that showroom and asking more inquisitive questions because of First Impressions !

How often have you heard of failed and floping salesmen?  Rarely, right?  Why?  Because they always play out a masterful act of creating First Impressions right from the first minute when he extends his firm handshake brimming in a very relaxed and condensing manner.  But how come some of us have missed creating those First Impressions?  It's because many STILL believe that there are second chances to create First Impressions?  📌📌📌

 

Are You a 'SWISS ARMY KNIFE' ?

Are You a 'SWISS ARMY KNIFE' ?

Happy Sunday over brewed coffee.  So as not to spoil your Sunday, let's discuss just a light topic so as not to spoil our day.  Oh yes,  are you a 'SWISS ARMY KNIFE' ? You might counter that you ain't a part of the Swiss Army so this must be a 'wrong sent' question?  No sirrrrrs.  By being a 'SWISS ARMY KNIFE' in life, this means how useful and impactful are you in ways more than just one in life.

So, the question we'll stomped you now is:  would you rather be a "single-purpose knife" in life?  Or are you cool that it makes sense to be a  'SWISS ARMY KNIFE' in life after all?  BTW, to be a 'SWISS ARMY KNIFE' does NOT mean that you got to be a master of all trades, be a modern day hero, no sirrrrrs.  Let's just go back to the analogy with knives.  As there are more than twenty to thirty needs in life where you would need a knife, will you equp yourself with twenty to thirty knives?

That just doesn't make sense both for practical reasons and realistic considerations.  You may belong to the moneyed segment of society but that doesn't give you a FREE RIDE in life to justify that you DON'T need to be a 'SWISS ARMY KNIFE'.  Truth is, life is just akin to the solar system, where there are zillions of stars looming and roaming around.  On the scary side, there are asteroids moving faster than the time you would realize that you're locality is about to get hit by an asteroid.  Such is life as well.  You may be a white-collared one but that doesn't mean you DON'T need to roll up your sleeves, dip your hands and fingers deep into the mud and 'un-mess' the mess ?

Let's talk about arthropods, the best replica of the 'SWISS ARMY KNIFE'.  Those blades of the 'SWISS ARMY KNIFE' become the claws, legs, antennae and wings that arthropods evolved to survive on land.  And the arthropod's segmented body called an exoskeleton and its joined appendages easily allowed adaptations to new functions on land.  In life, we got to ADAPT to the constant changes lurking and happening around us.  For a student in school, you are NOT expected to just focus on your favorite subject.  In a relationship, you are NOT expected to just be the financial provider.  At work, you are NOT expected to just perform the daily routine tasks.

Now, how do we develop those life skills like an 'SWISS ARMY KNIFE'?  Topping the list, you got to be CURIOUS in life.  DON'T just say that something is boring.  Then, DEVELOP that mindset of taking the EXTRA MILE, reaching out to those who need an urgent helping hand.  And if it happens the needed help is not part of your core competencies but if you're the LAST MAN STANDING, don't let the clock tick another second without lifting your finger, leaving no single stone unturned📌📌📌

We Are ENTITLED For What We DESERVE

We Are ENTITLED For What We DESERVE

Who says we are entitled to anything and everything we want and what we wish for?  I beg to disagree, even the simplest math equation does NOT run that way though.  Yes we can be dreamers but let's discuss DREAMING some other day.  For this thread, we want to ensure that we are always grounded.  Truth is [and this can lead to an arduous and prolonged debate is that We Are ENTITLED For What We DESERVE.

Guys, did we ever got embroiled into these questions:  WHERE DOES YOUR ENTITLEMENT COME FROM?  WHY DO YOU FEEL ENTITLED TO YOUR TIME? MONEY?  WHY DO YOU FEEL THE WORLD OWES YOU FAVORS?  To be more logical, I did a quick research for the definition of ENTITLEMENT which runs as follows:  THE BELIEF THAT ONE IS INHERENTLY DESERVING OF PRIVILEGES OR SPECIAL TREATMENT.

Now for real talk.  If my shoes are worn out like this, why do I deserve a new pair IF I AM NOT ENTITLED to it?  Recent research [https://spsp.org/news-center/press-releases/entitled-people-instructions-unfair] found people with a greater sense of of entitlement are less likely to follow instructions than less entitled people, with one of the authors further saying 'ENTITLED PEOPLE DO NOT FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE THEY WOULD RATHER TAKE A LOSS THEMSELVES THAN AGREE TO SOMETHING 'UNFAR' ".

The use of the term 'UNFAIR' is interesting and this is an important factor when considering why some are considered entitled while others are not.  The measure of what is 'FAIR' especially when emotions are involved and heightened, becomes a very subjective concept.  So then, what qualifies as 'FAIR'? At this point, we got to caution everyone that arguments from this point onwards can be quite subjective, so caution is suggested.

Fast forward.  Let's swing over to the far end, the aftermath, the results, the day after.  When the results will trickle in, sometimes we end up upset but as this poster says, 'DON'T BE UPSET BY THE RESULTS YOU DIDNT GET WITH THE WORK YOU DIDN'T DO'.  Lesson here is that, we need to be continuously grounded so we are fully aware of WHAT WE ARE ENTITLED FOR WHAT WE DESERVE 📌📌📌

Why Push the 'BUTTON'

Why Push the 'BUTTON'

Hold on folks, what's the fuss about the BUTTON.  Do we really need to talk about it ?Me thinks, it is a LOUD YES, we got to talk about it because it normally exists and sits in obscurity and yet, it is the very TRIGGER that nails down a mission whether as a SUCCESS or FAILURE, a game as either WON or LOST.  In brief, we need to figure out when and where is that switch at any point in our life to TRIGGER it to materialize as a concrete GAME CHANGER.

Here's one reality in life.  Everyone was readying up to go and drive out of the garage but when the driver finally gets on his seat and presses the ENGINE START/STOP BUTTON, the engine won't start.  And this happened to me just a month ago.  I had to make a frantic call to my favorite battery manufacturer's customer service hotline to arrange for a replacement/delivery.  So there you go.  You can have everything.  You readied up on everything but if PUSHING the BUTTON doesn't move things, nothing literally moves, nothing happens except that you get stuck deep in that mud.

Too bad, that 'BUTTON' gets overlooked many times in our life.  We tend to take it for granted.  We seem to treat it as a given, as just another no-brainer that will happen effortlessly.  No sirrrrrrs.  Anytime in our life, we need to really treasure that 'BUTTON'.  Be it getting the nod from your school professors for you to graduate with honors.  Be it getting the nod from the girl you've been wooing.  Be it getting the nod after a nerve-wracking interview.  Be it achieving a breakthrough for your business to reach the next level.  Be it at the workplace where you're literally praying you'll get the nod for a promotion you've been hungering for.

Where's the shortfall then ? I More often, it is our lazy, laidback and passive mindset when and where we [wrongly] thought that things will simply flip over and run on AUTO-PILOT [no way sirrrrs].  Let's take another very common real-life scenario.  Here you are working on your documents to either migrate or explore working overseas. 

  So, you NEVER leave things to chances.  You NEVER sit back and relax yet.  You NEVER count the chicks even before they are hatched.  You NEVER  wrap things up and [falsely] hope that things will seamlessly flip into your own favor.  Having those kinds of mindset puts you in the same league with the gamblers [whether it's the small-time ones or the big ones like those from the Las Vegas strip].  Why do gamblers remain gamblers ?  It's because they always left things to LUCK & CHANCES.  Not in life though.  You Got to PUSH the BUTTON' if you want to move forward 📌📌📌

Keep Moving, Keep Circling

Keep Moving, Keep Circling...

Quick question: Why do we sometimes get stalled and quite stagnant in between stretches of our life?  We could be moneyed, gifted, skilled, employed or well entrenched in our own business but why is it sometimes we would find ourselves either stagnating or seemingly stalled?  At the workplace, you could have all the job security but how often do we hear or perceive some people feeling that they got stuck and nothing is moving an inch forward.  Or even if things are inching and moving, sometimes you feel things are NOT moving.  Why?  Likelihood is we forgot to Keep Moving, Keep Circling

Oh I found this perfect poster as an analogy.  LIFE is LIKE RIDING A BICYCLE. TO KEEP YOUR BALANCE, YOU MUST KEEP MOVING.  Indeed this is the best comparison.  Just like the bicycle, once you stop moving, you would lose your balance and you may even end up right on the ground.  Staying on course can be a challenge when life throws a 'sucker punch' at you.  But we need to shake that off.  How?  DON'T GIVE UP.  Once you quit, it will never be the same.  Whether it is a relationship a job or your life, you are in charge of your choices.  Giving up may enter your mind but FIND A WAY TO KEEP MOVING. 

One more thing.  TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME.  it can be tough going in this world but the bottom line is NOT to let all these get to you.  Moreover, STAY POSITIVE.  Always remember that the world is NOT your enemy.  To quote Albert Einstein, '"WE ALL NEED TO SEE THE UNIVERSE AS FRIENDLY".  This is the true wisdom from a great man who knew more about the nature of things than most anyone.  

Now, here's a pitfall we often fall into.  We thought we got to be fast paced?  No sir.  GO AT YOUR OWN PACE BUT DON'T STOP MOVING FORWARD.  You may have been beaten down but you are not broken.  Even if you have suffered and lived through a life altering trauma, if you still have a beating heart, and air in your lungs, you can get back on your feet.  

Few remaining things we should not miss out.  Let's remember our life is NOT A RACE.  Even if you do just thing a day, you will reach your goal.  Even making little progress can go a long way.  The key is to STICK with what you started. FIND A WAY TO KEEP MOVING 📌📌📌

When Things Get Into the Mud

When Things Get Into the Mud

C'mon. At some point in the past, did we ever get stuck in the mud?  Surely I would guess. I can rattle down a long list of the most common scenarios in life wherein we really ended up getting stuck in the mud  Health issues.  Financial issues.   Work issues.  Business issues.  Even relationship issues.  At some point we were all into that right.  The $64 question is, how did we get to extricate ourselves out When Things Get Into the Mud ?

Oh, you might question me.  Why am I making a fuss out  of this?  Hello yolo.  Yesirrrrs,  Is there no URGENCY that is akin to an EMERGENCY?  I myself, I had one experience in the past where, literally, my car got stuck in the mud and the urgency was just there because had I decided to buy my own sweet time, my car would have gone deeper into the mud.  But if it pertains to other emergencies in life, urgency is not even debatable.

 Problem is, when we are stuck into the Mud, we end up committing silly mistakes.  COMPARING our suffering to others?  REPRESSING negative emotions?  BLAME someone else for your pain?  UNFORGIVING a person who caused you pain?  FAILING to understand that b.  Anything good in life requires some sort of risk or sacrifice.  No one makes through with NO SCARS.  

Without understanding that PAIN, no matter how deep, eventually passes.  Nothing lasts.  Promise, thing will eventually get better.  Unless you understand that at the bottom of every shithole there's buried gold.  Stop trying to climb out and start looking for it.  Now for the HARD WORK.  Come up with three 'life lessons' from your 'shitty situation'.  That is the 'UNFUN' stuff.  It's so much easier to hop online and blame someone and post angry comments.

And DON'T forget to tell yourself that it's actually good that this awful thing happened to you and that maybe you will be grateful for it one day.  Then, REALIZE that you're probably lying to yourself.  Sometimes things just SUCK.  BTW, refrain from STABBING somebody, including yourself.  UNDERSTAND that most things in life are both GOOD and BAD at the same time.  Take a moment to think about all the things in your life that are amazing.  If you can't think of any, THINK HARDER 📌📌📌

[SECURITY ADVISORY] Sharing if this may be relevant to our readership

[SECURITY ADVISORY] Sharing if this may be relevant to our readership

Duly acknowledging my bankers [Citibank and BDO], sharing the below INFOGRAPHICS if these information may be relevant for you please.  Otherwise, I have not much value-add except to share the below.

Power & Persuasion as Siamese Twins

Power & Persuasion as Siamese Twins

With too many things happening all over us, we tend to overlook the relevance of Power & Persuasion.  But with the myriad of movable parts in our equations in life, we can't deny it that Power & Persuasion are Siamese Twins.  Not really to mean that you are born or vested with power but we are positioning power here only as a variable of the equation.  You may be powerless now but who'll deny that we all hunger for power, whether that power means the power of influence.

Before anything else, we got to admit that your personality will impact your ability to succeed.  If you are outgoing, you will more easily able to reach out to others.  If you are PERSISTENT and PERSUASIVE, you will overcome short term obstacles. If you are curious, you will seek out new knowledge.  If you are happy, often you will make those around you happy and likely to find people interested in helping you.

And your persuasive power impacts your ability to convince others of the wisdom of what you believe.  Sometimes, this persuasive power is detrimental when you convince others to follow a path that was in fact unwise.  A person who has persuasive power is able to convince people to make wise decisions but also to convince people to make unwise decisions.  What this means, besides knowledge, it behooves that we acquire that wisdom to know when someone else would be better off seeking someone else's advice.  That wisdom is more rare tough but as a rough gem, you can take that challenge.

These traits, while providing a guide for us to understand our means to influence someone else or even an organization for that matter would also provide a guide for potential weaknesses within your system.  There is really no advantage to having decisions unduly influenced by those with persuasive power while ignoring ideas from those without much ability to persuade people.  What we really want is to follow what is the best course of action.

Assuming we don't have that POWER yet, that is very fine but we should not default to miss that opportunity to develop our persuasive abilities because that will be the vehicle that will lead you through this mad rat race we're in.  And as your persuasion skills improves by notches, you will realize that in a subtle way, your SPHERE of INFLUENCE will exponentially grow ⏳⏳⏳