Expectation Is The Root Of All Heartache

Expectation Is The Root Of All Heartache

Allow me to quote the great William Shakespeare who said:  Expectation Is The Root Of All Heartache.  There's just NO way I can disagree with this truism.  Indeed, EXPECTATIONS are a funny thing.  We all have them, and we rarely even realize it because they're so ingrained in our psyches.  It's easy to take for granted that others will meet an EXPECTATION [that someone will do what you want or need them to do without a second thought].  BUT what if they DON'T❓❓❓

WHAT if your EXPECTATIONS of others is quite unrealistic?  Having high EXPECTATIONS of others is 'PREMEDITATED' discontent no less.  What you think will happen may NOT, and if it DOESN'T, we feel unfulfilled.  Now, let's dive into the common reasons having high EXPECTATIONS of others is indeed BAD for us.  Obviously, the most common trigger why we have high EXPECTATIONS of others are our past experiences.  If in the past, that person always met our EXPECTATIONS, obviously we will continue to hope for the same thing to happen💊💊💊

In the PAIN SCALE, surely you know where you're pain points are.  So, what pushes you with those EXPECTATIONS?  Your influence triggers that when you believe that your ideas, thoughts, actions and words have an influence on events✅✅✅

And when you think your way is the BEST WAY, you tend to harbor high opinions, then you expect others to hold them high as well.  And that feeling of PRAISE feels good when someone acknowledges your achievements.  You expect others will feel just as good when they accomplish things📌📌📌

Now, if there is a FEAR that triggers HIGH EXPECTATIONS, that FEAR of FAILURE is the culprit.  If you manage people, your reputation is on the line if you fail in your duties.  This FEAR of FAILURE makes you HIGH-pressure and HIGH-stress.  Having HIGH EXPECTATIONS of others comes from your mindset, fears and experiences.  It is important to recognize this firm belief that something will happen so can have realistic expectations.  Lest you forget, EXPECTATION IS THE ROOT OF ALL HEARTACHE [to quote the great William Shakespeare]❗❗❗

Why Things RISE Before They FALL

Why Things RISE Before They FALL

More than a decade back, every week I was hopping on my weekly flightst between Mumbai and Hyderabad in India and I made sure all my domestic flights were via KINGFISHER. Just a few years after I completed my India project, I learned that Vijay Maliya, the high profile KINGFISHER owner ran away to the UK over debts of more than US$ 1 Billion.  This tragic fall should help explain Why Things RISE Before They FALL💎💎💎

Let's set aside that tragic KINGFISHER story.  Instead, let me share the JETSETTING lifestyle of someone I personally knew UP CLOSE.  Prior to the pandemic, he bragged [and I totally believe him] that he was logging an average of twenty four flights per year [mostly within the Middle East [with Dubai frequently one of two end-points].  As we speak now, sadly, that person has hit rock bottom, penniless literally speaking⏳⏳⏳

So, what explains trajectories that may seem to go up the farthest north only to take a deep nosedive, sometimes towards deep south with hopes of even recovering a long shot, if at all?  Simple explanation.  Once we have risen up to the top, humans generally become cocky a.k.a over-bearing, blustering, swaggering that becomes the very recipe of his downFALL📌📌📌

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From a statistical perspective, this is what LAW OF AVERAGES is all about which, in technical jargon is defined as 'the principle that supposes most future events are likely to balance any past deviation from a presumed average'.  Depending on the context, it can be considered a valid commonsense observation or a misunderstanding in the science of probabilities.  Translating in layman's terms, we should be wary when the trajectory keeps zooming up because that is an anomaly✅✅✅

What's our FIX for this conundrum?  Let us remain hopeful and welcoming when things are on the upswing but if that trajectory seems to run unabated, better be wary because that may likely be an outlier that will be eventually corrected by the LAW OF AVERAGES.  Problem is, when that trajectory keeps zooming up, some of us tend to get ;hostaged' by it, wrongly thinking that that upswing is a legitimate one.  WHEN in fact and in truth, he himself CAN'T explain that trajectory.  WHAT is imperative is to be constantly aware that, more often, THINGS RISE BEFORE THEY FALL❗❗❗

That Wherewithal In Life

That Wherewithal In Life

Changing our life can be both scary and exciting but more than anything, it is necessary to grow.  Most people come to a point one day where they have to make a change in their life to either grow personally or professionally but it's hard to figure out when you're ready to make that change.  At that point, the question to us is if we have That Wherewithal In Life📌📌📌

BTW. we humans all have something that makes us tick.  A goal that makes us wake up at 5am even though we would love to sleep in late.  A drive that makes us decline social events because our jobs need us to stay all night or maybe it's the opposite and we attend social events to please the ones close to us.  It comes from our motivation to succeed either professionally or personally but once the drive is missing, then we CAN'T keep going and we tend to lose our motivation. If we suddenly CAN'T find the drive inside we once had, it can be a sign💎💎💎

Oh, we've been taught to keep going even when it gets tough but it's okay to change and redefine ourselves.  It's NOT really about GIVING UP.  Instead, it's all about stopping up and revaluate whether we still want the same things in life.  Sometimes, we may find out that we still want the same time but the way we're going about it isn't working for you by then💊💊💊

Last night, I was watching the Netflix documentary regarding that Pepsi-Cola promo few decades back wherein you need to pile up points by purchasing it and the products to be redeemed, HOLD YOUR BREATH, was NOT limited to T-shirts but there was that 7 million points which you can redeem for a Harrier Jet.  And when a doggedly determined intrepid teenager named John Leonard decided to pursue it till the last drop✅✅✅

Bottom line here is that, this becomes one non-negotiable thing, that once we plunge into life, we got to have that WHEREWITHAL IN LIFE because that will fix any chinks in our armor as that adds up the ante for our readiness to face all our challenges.  For a non-swimmer who dives into the waters, we all know what would happen next and we DON'T want anything fatal happening down our journey of our life❗❗❗

Why Can't The 'COMBINED FORCES' Ever Bring Down Trump?

Why Can't The 'COMBINED FORCES' Ever Bring Down Trump?

So much mud, rocks and even the whole kitchen sink have all been thrown on Former U.S. President Donald Trump as recent as we speak.  To think that he had to endure a flurry of indictments.  BUT before I get accused for being a non-entity prying into the U.S. domestic politics, I hope we can meet halfway wherein America has always been the bastion of Democracy, so I hope this does justify me, a non-American, throwing my 2-cents Why Can't The 'COMBINED FORCES' Ever Bring Down Trump?  And despite the indictments he recently went through [which, technically, the charges seemed to be that 'jaw dropping'] considering that it's the very first time a former U.S. president has been indicted in a federal court [and earlier in New York]📌📌📌

And indeed, what makes all those charges quite dumb founding is that they come at a [WRONG] time when Trump is running for president.  But over and above the Trump indictments,  everything else is shining nice and dandy.  Ironically, an ABC News/Washington Post Survey, a 54% majority of Americans favor him facing criminal charges while only 38% do not favor.  Ironically, Trump remains popular💎💎💎

Even the recent Florida head-to-head polls show him leading by a mile when matched against four out of five Democrats whereas in the head-to-head with incumbent president Joe Biden, it's a 50% dead heat, whew.  WHY?  What can explain all of Trump's popularity despite all the mud [and now the indictments] thrown on him?  But this should not need rocket science to explain [despite that I'm NOT an American]✅✅✅

My layman's explanation here is that, all things being equal, there must that 'goodness' combined with goodwill that continues to carry Trump's flame of popularity.  This explains why the Democrats are NOT taking things likely how the Trump Train's chug-chug locomotive is worming its way back to the electorates.  Did we hear this old cliche that NO ONE CAN BRING A GOOD MAN DOWN?  Me thinks.  That explains WHY CAN'T THE COMBINED FORCES EVER BRING DOWN TRUMP❗❗❗

When You're In A 'HOLDING PATTERN'

When You're In A 'HOLDING PATTERN'

Remember those times when you felt anxious, like you were waiting for something to happen BUT didn't exactly know what that was?  If it sounds familiar, because at some points in time, we were in that situation When You're In A 'HOLDING PATTERN'.  Mr Webster defines HOLDING PATTERN as that 'state of waiting or suspended activity or progress'💎💎💎

Several times in my past flights, I vividly recall seeing several planes lining up and preparing to land.  Whereas, our plane then circled around the airport until they got that PERMISSION TO LAND.  Indeed, this is a realization that many points in our busy lives are all about waiting.  This seems to go against everything we are taught in life, because life is supposed to play out in a forward- moving motion, a process, a plan to keep getting ahead📌📌📌

Indeed, we should be moving forward to grow more maturely, to grow older.  We move ahead to finish schooling, we move onwards to find employment, to get the first job we want and so on.  Then, we start our own families, we buy our first car [even if it is a second-hand one], then eventually buy our dream home [not the best but the best based on what we can afford] and we live life.  BUT if you pay attention, most of us really DON'T spend the time we have in between our own HOLDING PATTERNS.  Frankly though, we do, BUT usually while in the midst of it, we feel many other things and grow invariably frustrated.  We are often NEGATIVE.  We get upset, grow sick of waiting and are frustrated about things NOT going the way the process is supposed to go in our minds⏳⏳⏳

Here's a sampling of our never ending HOLDING PATTERNS.  WHY ISN'T MY JOB PROMOTION HAPPENING YET?  WHAT WILL BE THE FINAL DIAGNOSIS ON ME?  DID I PASS THE EXAM?  IF I NEED TO "RESET", HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR ME TO RECOVER?  Those are samplings of HOLDING PATTERNS where we tend to be in a 'state of flux✅✅✅

So what's our FIX?  Let's embrace the fact that by default, our life is within a HOLDING PATTERN.  WHY?  Are the events we plan and expect tomorrow are all guaranteed to happen as per plan?  Are our expectations for that sales appointment guarantees that that client will sign on the dotted line?  To settle things down, let's accept that life is by itself a HOLDING PATTERN❗❗❗

Are You A PILLAR? Or Just A Piece?

Are You A PILLAR?  Or Just A Piece?

In the rough and tumble world of the NBA in the United States, the road to stardom is plotted on the assumption if one is deemed a PILLAR [or a FRANCHISE player] or just another PIECE as part of the rotation.  From a $$$$$ perspective, a player tagged and pegged as a PIECE can dream of an annual contract around $2 million whereas a PILLAR or FRANCHISE PLAYER can look for a 'MAX DEAL' anywhere north of $150 million.  In life, Are You A PILLAR?  Or Just A Piece❓❓❓

In our daily life, HOW are we?  WHERE are we in that mammoth crowd?  Are you just another needle in a haystack?  Or do you somehow play a specific role with a deliverable?  We may NOT be that aware but in life, there are PILLARS across, encompassing HEALTH, MONEY, HAPPINESS and RELATIONSHIPS.  Miss one pillar and likely you can't cover the whole nine years in life📌📌📌

Oh, how does it feel to be in the middle of a mammoth crowd?  Overwhelming?  Suffocating?  But that's NOT a concern at all.  The challenging question is. do you have any expected or defined ROLE within that mammoth crowd?  OR are you just contented to be another piece of the whole ensemble?  NOT bad to be a piece but let's think about it, ISN'T it a waste of our presence if we ever end up just another PIECE⏳⏳⏳

The thing is, while we are NOT forced to take on any role in life that becomes compulsory, wouldn't our presence and existence be more impactful?  Impactful NOT from a high-flyer perspective but rather just taking on that mantle of responsibility in life where you got your own deliverable, within your capability.  Sadly, I've seen able and capable bodies in life who would manifest that laid-back attitude where they would rather just watch✅✅✅

Yesirreeeeeee, allow me to state the obvious. like it or not, we got to make a STATEMENT in life, NOT literally but in terms of one's impactful presence in life.  Whether it pertains to your relationship with your partner/spouse, your family and loved ones, within your workplace or within your entrepreneurial initiatives, you got to be a PILLAR.  Bluntly, if you end up just as another PIECE, my equally blunt question is:  IS YOUR LIFE WORTH IT IF YOU'RE JUST A PIECE INSTEAD OF A PILLAR❓❓❓

The Thrill Of The Hunt

The Thrill Of The Hunt

Why are the safaris so popular in Kenya and the rest of Africa?  Why hass so many have gone crazy with deer hunting?  Why does the Amazon continue to lure the most daring hunters?  If there is a commonality between all of them, it is because  they all have That Thrill Of The Hunt.  No amount of success can supplant that sense of fulfillment 📗📙📘

But, before we end up in a disconnect, let me clarify that our thread today is NOT literally about hunting but instead, this is about HUNTING for opportunities, HUNTING for changes and HUNTING for breakthroughs.  So, I might get asked:  Why do we need to go HUNTING for all these in life?  Simple.  Those windows of opportunities are not for our taking📌📌📌

So, what happens if we DON'T go HUNTING because we DON'T find the THRILL with it?  Nothing catastrophic OR disastrous but simply put, what that means, you will lose by default.  WHY?  Because you missed out unearthing and uncorking opportunities that were all over the place except that they were planted in obscurity like land mines.  So you might ask me, did I have that THRILL OF THE HUNT?  Absolutely.  That explains I did 'bring home the bacon' many times💊💊💊

So, you might push me against the wall and ask as to what are the PERILS of HUNTING?  Just one too many.  First of, you got to be willing and raring to take the risk.  As the old adage goes, NO GUTS, NO GLORY.  So, if there is a non-negotiable pre-requisite here, it is for you to have that intestinal fortitude to take risks and be ready to fail [because many times, you will fall flat on your face].  And since you are bracing for failures and shortfalls to happen, reset your expectations that once you fail, your setback means you will take steps back from where you fell [because that's a SETBACK]✅✅✅

BUT we should NOT feel daunted despite the daunting prospects ahead.  WHY?  Because going for HUNTING is a WIN-WIN for you.  You got nothing to lose the fact that you're on that HUNTING.  If you need to be egging yourself to go for those HUNTS, think about the THRILL OF THE HUNT because that will be your biggest motivator.  Nothing beats you❗❗❗

BEWARE: Things Will Worsen Before It Gets Better

BEWARE:  Things Will Worsen Before It Gets Better

BEWARE:  Things Will Worsen Before It Gets Better.  This is neither scare tactics nor Armageddon-like forecasts.   But have we ever wondered why some things get WORSE before they get BETTER?  Like when we opt to avail of professional counselling [to address a chronic issue like anxiety], and then just when you are about to commit to a CHANGE, you notice that every little thing seems to make you more anxious and stressed out.

Maybe our issue that's bothering us is our temper, so you start to pay attention to how often you get mad, you seem to become angrier.  If you experience an increase in the behaviors you're trying to fix, you might even decide to quit that counselling because you would conclude prematurely that it ISN'T working.  BUT hold on.  Before throwing the towel, it is imperative to know that what you are experiencing, feeling WORSE before feeling BETTER is entirely normal

Although getting WORSE before getting BETTER isn't a steadfast rule, it does happen to a lot of people a lot of the time.  As with many things in life, when we decide that we want to improve ourselves, we end up undergoing a series of CHANGES.  And that first CHANGE involves admitting to ourselves that indeed there is a problem to be FIXED

As a whole, let's admit it that it is NEVER easy for us to identify our flaws and surely, we DON'T like changing them.  Acknowledging that there is an issue is the correct first step but that alone is NOT going to make a difference.  Instead, we need to explore what's going on and that reflective process becomes our self-awareness.  Self-awareness requires us to place our issues under a MICROSCOPE and scrutinize each little detail.  As one would imagine, that is an experience that can set off a TIDAL WAVE of emotions including shame, fear, anger and even pain

Once we feel we're in control, a door of endless opportunities will begin to open.  And when that door opens, we may realize that we just CANT tackle our issues alone.  Unfortunately, many people go into counselling looking for a quick FIX but truthfully that's NOT how it works.  Odds are we DIDN'T get to where we are overnight because THINGS WILL WORSEN BEFORE IT GET BETTER❗❗❗

Do We Have POWER In Our VULNERABILITY?

Do We Have POWER In Our VULNERABILITY?

We used to believe that we humans are fragile, frail and worst, vulnerable.  Which, in essence, is never farther from the truth.  But several years ago, I did come across my own realization that indeed, we can turn our weakness into strength.  Without redefining things, i realized that we should NOT bottle up emotions.  While most of us were taught to hide our emotions or run away from them, frankly, this causes undue  and continuous pain, which translates into stress.  So, Do We Have POWER In Our VULNERABILITY❓❓❓

And if there is one thing we should invoke and leverage on, it is our own COURAGE  to take on our vulnerabilities.  Unfortunately, our modern cultures tend to err on the side of suppressed feelings in an effort to display strength.  BUT psychologists have proven in their studies that VULNERABILITY is anything but a weakness.  They say farther that it takes true STRENGTH and COURAGE to allow yourself to be vulnerable💊💊💊

WHAT'S our next move?  In everything we do, FEAR and CRITICISM will always be there to greet us [and make us COWER in FEAR].  In fact, FEAR is that restrictive force that stops most of us from ever stepping ore than one foot outside our own comfort zone towards realizing our true desires.  And since FEAR and CRITICISM will always be there in some form, our best course of action is always to SHOW UP and MOVE FORWARD📌📌📌

Now, I grabbed this poster of our worries that define our FEAR of VULNERABILITY.  No matter what we're doing, let us SHOW UP everyday to do what we were meant to do and DON'T let these hindrances stop us.  WHY?  It's because the more we stand up to these NEGATIVE FORCES, the more we'll FLEX our COURAGE and resilience, eventually with us coming out stronger for it [despite that challenge]✅✅✅

Indeed, LIFE is a BLUR.  So how do we run counter to this?  Psychologists do advise us to go and aim for EXCELLENCE [and NOT perfection] because they say perfectionism is that belief that we live perfectly, look perfectly and act perfectly [when we are NOT].  So, DO WE HAVE THAT POWER IN OUR VULNERABILITY?  Absolutely, we do have that❗❗❗

Earning It Beats Inheriting It

Earning It Beats Inheriting It

Please DON'T get me wrong.  I like and I love to be inheriting.  It's the best thing that we can receive BUT come to think of it, isn't it Earning It Beats Inheriting It?  I was watching the Netflix Series 'Inventing Anna [Episode 2 - The Devil Wore Anna] and I did catch this very relevant one-liner that Earning It Beats Inheriting It and instantly, I got this realization that this message really resonates with me because in the first place, my parents [who worked hard for our education and future] were, sadly, financially strapped to even let us inherit possessions that are liquid enough.  It was a realization that was NOT late because every step of my run [even before hitting the next pit stop], I badly knew that I need to grind and EARN it

Even in the rat race out there, with so much entitlement these days, it is NOT surprising why so many real estate agents and even account portfolio officers feel like they DON'T need to [or SHOULDN'T have to] learn HOW to get their own clients.  They join a team WHERE everything is handed to them, they NEVER have to generate their own leads [from a sales perspective]

Let's face it, many of us take many things for granted especially when we are given things on a SILVER PLATTER.  Surely we would have witnessed this, whether in friendships, family, love, or even the smallest things in life.  DON'T look far.  Instead, let's relook at those friendships.  Would you prefer to find an 'instant' friend who happens to be a friend of your friend?  OR do you want to build a friendship on your own volition?

American Bassist Billy Cox was aptly quoted  about RESPECT.  And the best example here is the Japanese Culture where RESPECT, while it is inherited, it is always EARNED.  And from a human standpoint, how does it feel when you did EARN the RESPECT you deserved?  Contrast it to an authoritarian manner where it happens by duress❓❓❓

Taking things further, when it comes to RESPECT, earning it has been proven when you yourself will give that RESPECT on your own volition.  Let's swing over to our family relationships.  Rather than enforce things [like via 'BRUTE FORCE'], think about it if you let the water run spontaneously and exert everything from your end, all in GOOD FAITH because that leads you to be a step closer to that expectation which you know you deserve.  Going back to financials from an EARNING versus INHERITANCE, it's even a no-brainer.  By EARNING it with your sweat, the more you'll prove that you deserve every $$$$ you EARNED❗❗❗