Feeling Stuck?

Feeling Stuck?

Feeling Stuck?  Not to panic, though, because at one or some points in our respective lives, surely each of us went through that ordeal.  BUT I think it's worth it to be enlightened as to WHY do we end up getting STUCK?  LIKE when you felt STUCK in a rut, seemingly on the go BUT never getting anywhere?  Yes, you're NOT alone in that boat.  We all have moments WHEN it feels like life has hit the 'PAUSE' button and we start to wonder HOW to hit the 'PLAY' button again📗📙📘

BUT here's the thing.  Life is NOT holding us back.  BUT our behavior is.  We are often our worst enemy WHEN it comes to progress and growth.  And I'm sure once you are aware that you are STUCK in a rut, you'll like to BREAK FREE BUT before we get into that path, let us figure things out as to the possible root causes of us getting STUCK in that rut💥💥💥

To piggy-back on the studies by experts, topping the list is that probably we were taught [IN THE PAST] to settle for less.  Sometimes, a life we feel STUCK in comes from learning that growing up we must do and be certain things and NOT others.  We've mistakenly created a life that DOESN'T even match WHO we are.  That instead matches other people's ideas of WHAT we would be💧💧💧

OR we are always feeling STUCK in life because we are highly self-critical.  Ironically, experts qualify that sometimes, it's even NOT true that we are STUCK BUT rather, we just have such a harsh criteria for ourselves.  In the end, we tend to refuse to see the progress we make.  OR as experts coined, maybe we have that IMPOSTOR SYNDROME and we DON'T believe we've done anything of value AT ALL.  Then we end up as perfectionist, endlessly comparing ourselves to those with far more life experience or opportunity than us❎❎❎

Our takeaways?  Let's hear all these from experts:

• Dig out LIMITING BELIEFS [like these FALSE assumptions:  THE WORLD IS DANGEROUS TO LIVE.  Or YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE'.
• Accept RESPONSIBILITY for the problem.  Experts tell us that what truly STUCKS us in life is that 'VICTIM MENTALITY'.  But when we take that responsibility for what we can, effectively we untie our own hands and be empowered again.  Still FEELING STUCK?  Make your move, dude📌📌📌

More Focus At Work?

More Focus At Work?

Ever since we got hit by that Covid-19 pandemic,  many organizations have openly embraced the hybrid work setup between onsite and work from home setups [and it works!]. BUT the question is, is working from home optimized enough?  Me thinks in a loud NO.  I DON'T think so.  So, do we need MORE FOCUS AT WORK? Absolutely dude.  Everyone of us just need to toe the line, no questions here [supposedly]📗📙📘

To be fair, to give MORE FOCUS AT WORK is NOT being triggered by just our hybrid work from home setup.  Regardless of your political leanings OR views, let's admit it we are distracted by the changes and activities occurring across most countries.  Finland.  Indonesia.  Pakistan.  Just amongst those in the midst of their respective national elections.  Ironically, there seems similar noise and turmoil whether it's pre-elections [e.g. Indonesia] or post-elections [e.g. Pakistan].  WHEN this much change is occurring around us, it can affect our abilities to think, plan and stay focused💧💧💧

I DON'T need to look far BUT instead ask myself, WHAT have I done to 'destress' and get more focused especially when working from home?

• I 'upped' the height of my workstation from two feet to three feet.  WHY?  That allowed me to alternately stand when working [because of the higher desk].
• I do talk a quick walk [even within my home] around every half an hour.  DON'T get stuck seating down.
• I would stick to my To-do List [as much as possible]

So, WHAT really is our problem?  It's that we tend to get distracted while working.  Sometimes we feel like the tasks at hand is just too much OR that you DON'T know WHETHER you will finish it OR not.  The bigger the task, the more you tend to procrastinate.  And the more you procrastinate, the more you lose confidence in finishing tasks.  True, sometimes, procrastinating sometimes help us think before taking action BUT more often, we end up missing a task💥💥💥

Our takeaway?  Most of the time, we are to be faulted when missing tasks.  THEN we end up getting disappointed at work.  THEN we might even question ourselves if we lost that passion, that drive.  THEN you end up facing a problem WHERE it actually doesn't really matter right now, BUT you already think about it too much.  At the end of the day, it's your WILLPOWER that will tilt for you to have MORE FOCUS AT WORK😀😀😀

Never Miss That TIPPING POINT

Never Miss That TIPPING POINT

For alignment, please allow me to extract Mr Google's definition of TIPPING POINT, defined as "Those events or experiences which lead to irreversible changes in one's life."   In simpler terms, it could refer to moments when something catches on and spreads like wildfire.  And that could be anything from a new product OR trend to an idea OR behavior.  And once it reaches a critical mass, it becomes unstoppable , causing a 'seismic shift' either in opinion OR behavior.  So, why say Never Miss That TIPPING POINT?  Ok Ok Ok.  The TIPPING POINT is like a line in the sand and once it gets crossed, the momentum becomes unstoppable.  Think of it from the 'domino effect' perspective💵💴💷

Let's go back to that 'domino effect' thing.  One domino falls, and it triggers a chain reaction that topples all of the other dominos.  The same thing happens with that TIPPING POINT.  Once an idea, behavior, or product reaches critical mass, it suddenly takes on a life of its own, spreading rapidly and widely.  The power of the TIPPING POINT lies in its potential to create real change on a large scale.  By understanding HOW it works, we can gain insight into WHY certain things in life become popular WHILE others DON'T [at all].  We can also learn HOW to harness its power to create POSITIVE shifts in behavior and even in perception📗📙📘

The next time you something suddenly take off in popularity, remember that it might just be riding the wave of the TIPPING POINT.  So, let's dissect much deeper.  How do TIPPING POINT happen?  Experts claim in their studies that at its core, the TIPPING POINT is caused by a combination of factors including, BUT not limited to, social context, motivation and influence.  And in order for a TIPPING POINT to occur, there needs to be a favorable social context in which people are motivated💦💦💦

So, what exactly triggers a TIPPING POINT?

• An IDEA or BEHAVIOR with a potential for widespread influence
• A population MOTIVATED to act on an idea
• A favorable SOCIAL CONTEXT
• A catalyst who can SPARK ACTION
• A trigger event that sets off a chain reaction

If any of these components are missing, it is unlikely for a TIPPING POINT to occur💥💥💥

What''s our takeaway?  The power of even SMALL CHANGES can be in a TIPPING POINT, so the ASK is how to nudge  a TIPPING POINT in your favor?  Experts advise that you start with the right mindset.  Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the scale of a challenge, break it down in SMALL, achievable steps.  This will make it easier to take action and build momentum. And please be PERSISTENT because CHANGE does NOT happen overnight BUT with consistent efforts, YES YOU CAN reach your own TIPPING POINT💧💧💧

Think Small?

Think Small?

Think Small?  Yes folks, underneath the surface, there is a raging BUT subtle debate WHETHER we should think BIG or SMALL?  In a perfect world, now that we're approaching mid-2024, that would mean that we are roughly halfway through our 2024 goals, right?  BUT WHAT about if you're someone WHO constantly struggles with achieving your goals?  Do you know WHAT's standing your way?  Do you think your goals are just too big to accomplish?  OR do you feel it's sheer bad luck❓❓❓

OR is it that you just DIDN'T want it that bad enough or are you doubting if any of these are the reasons?  And this is were I'll play devil's advocate and argue that the greatest problem that's been preventing you from accomplishing your biggest GOALS is that you're NOT thinking SMALL enough.  Yes sirrrrrrs, that is NOT a typo.  Probably you're NOT thinking SMALL enough.  BUT hey, in setting goals, there's NO shortage of books, blueprints and seminars that offer results for your dreams to come true💧💧💧

Let's admit it.  There is a sense of building despair that comes with repeated FAILURES.  Who wants FAILURES anyway?  We feel our spirit getting drained with EVERY flop in life, every mistake, EVERY rejection, EVERY frustration.  It's true FAILURE is good if we view it for the value it holds. BUT at some point, we need to see some semblance of SUCCESS, if at all.  In fact, any form of SUCCESS, for our sanity if anything at all💥💥💥

Let's call a spade a spade.  WINS will make us feel GOOD, period.  And feeling GOOD feeds and drives us forward, saturating our own soul with a creative power.  And being aware and knowing that we can achieve enough is LIFE-GIVING by itself.  Believing in ourselves and having that faith that we can achieve even the smallest success is vital.  I can speak from experience, how it feels to buckle under the weight of FAILURE.  Been there, done that and it's a point in life that's toughest to crack❌❌❌

Our takeaway?  Believing in ourselves and having that bottomless pit of FAITH that we can achieve even the SMALLEST SUCCESS is vital.  GOALS GOALS GOALS.  WHAT's wrong in most of our goal-settings?  It is when GOALS set are unsurmountable.  We got to see that in our mind's eye.  We need to know that we can do things that contribute directly to our self-growth everyday.  Easier said than it sounds but we got to restart and reboot somewhere.  NOT that bad to THINK SMALL, dude😌😌😌

LESSONS LEARNED LATE

LESSONS LEARNED LATE

Have you ever wished you'd listened to that sage advice OR wished that you would have taken that hard-to-swallow pill? MAYBE if you had, things would have turned out a bit better.  MAYBE it was something like that, that it DOESN'T determine the entire course of your life OR being nice is sometimes more important than being right.  No matter WHAT age or stage of life you're in, it is NEVER too late to learn some new tricks.  Yes, some LESSONS LEARNED LATE💦💦💦

As we take stock of things now, the most common MISSED LESSON is that TIME FLIES, as in.  Many of us [and I'm guilty of this at one point in the past]  WON'T bother to value time, NOT until it went way past you.  And the sad thing is that no amount of monies and wealth can buy TIME.  I've come across people WHO realized it was TOO LATE for them to attend school, TOO LATE to find a decent work, TOO LATE to settle down comfortably, TOO LATE to take care of their health, TOO LATE to LEARN LESSONS in LIFE❌❌❌

Oh Oh, this "LESSON #1' poster looks on the wrong spot, right?  Because if this is LESSON #1, this should be atop the totem pole.  And I agree that this is LESSON #1 in life.  Allow me to qualify though that this is quite prevalent in non-western cultures, especially in the Third World, where generally, their cultures influence most behaviors.   Close to the heals is our own HEALTH.  You got to take care of it way early in life, else it WON'T take care of you💥💥💥

Much closer to the heels is realizing that NO amount of hobby, interests OR work can replace or override the importance of PEOPLE.  The ones you will spend the rest of your life till you grow old are the PEOPLE you deserve to be with.  Risk to isolate and live alone, you will risk being by yourself even in your latter years WHEN the least you need is to spend that homestretch of your life with PEOPLE you trust and deserve to be with💙💛💚

Oh Oh, this is interesting.  MONEY TALKS.  It knows how to say "GOODBYE' if you DON'T manage and plan your finances you need later in life.  I ran out counting hurtful stories of people I know who, at the very least, are struggling during the homestretch of their life simply because they did NOT give the importance of planning ahead financially.  Another missed lesson?  Most of us are so engrossed with ASSETS such that at the peak of your earnings, the biggest chunk goes to your payments and before you know it, those possessions own you [and NOT the other way around].  Indeed, tough LESSONS LEARNED LATE in life😖😖😖

WHY Friends Matter

WHY Friends Matter

Numerous researches linked FRIENDSHIPs and social to better physical health outcomes, including lower rates of heart disease.  One particular study revealed that young men and women WHO discussed DIFFICULT parts of their lives had a lower pulse and blood pressure WHEN a supportive friend accompanied them.  Indeed, FRIENDSHIP is an important factor in our physical well-being BUT what effects does it have on our mental health?  So, all along, all these explain as to WHY Friends Matter📗📙📘

BUT here's a word of caution we must NOT overlook.  While GOOD FRIENDS can support you even through traumatic events and are able to help you to quit bad habits, toxic friendships can leave you feeling drained, stifled, anxious and often unequal.  Indeed, FRIENDSHIPS are unique because they are tied to so many aspects of your life, be it your family, your work, and even your hobbies  WHEN you get into that kind of a toxic FRIENDSHIP, these feelings can permeate all of these areas as well.  If a particular FRIENDSHIP ISN'T meeting your needs, it may be time to reassess WHETHER it deserves a space in your life💎💎💎

Another word of caution.  The strong bonds in a FRIENDSHIP should refer to REAL FRIENDS, and NOT social media friends or connections.  So WHAT if you have a million followers in FB or LinkedIn?  Frankly, very likely, 99.99% of them are hardly your real-meaning FRIENDS, much less close FRIENDS.  Latest researches are also giving us another caveat as these studies tell us that approximately only a half of the people you consider as FRIENDS consider you as FRIEND.  Does that sound quite harsh❔❔❔

And frankly, no matter how you and me will define a 'FRIEND', in reality, there just ISN'T time to have one too many FRIENDS.  Let me quote Oxford scientist Robin Dunbar whose theory says that we can maintain at most 150 or so maximum number of connections BUT take note those are connections and NOT FRIENDSHIPS.  And in Dunbar's theory, we have different layers of FRIENDS, like one or two TRULY best FRIENDS [like your significant other and maybe one other person].  Then, maybe ten people with WHOM you have 'great affinity' [a.k.a. closeness] and interact with quite frequently.  The rest will be all sorts of people  you're FRIENDLY with BUT who aren't your FRIENDS💧💧💧

Our takeaway?  I can't disagree with Dunbar's Theory because looking into my life, that theory's layering of FRIENDS gets reflected in my life as well.  That's why WHEN someone would ask me HOW many BEST FRIENDS I have, it's one OR two at most and another around five with WHOM I'm close by affinity.  At the end of day, allow me to piggy-back on that old cliche which says, TELL ME WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE AND I'LL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE💥💥💥

Can We Avoid Burnout?

Can We Avoid Burnout?

Can We Avoid Burnout?  Absolutely YES we can.  BUT let's take a step back to understand BURNOUT which can happen to anyone routinely exposed to high levels of stress, whether work-related OR not.  It can cause symptoms of exhaustion, even depression and worst, isolation📗📙📘

So, if ever we experience a severe stress condition that leads to either severe physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion, it could even worsen than just ordinary fatigue.  BURNOUT makes it challenging for people to cope with stress and even handle day-to-day responsibilities.  People experiencing BURNOUT often feel like they have nothing left to give and may even dread getting out of bed each morning.  They may even adopt a pessimistic outlook towards life💎💎💎

Sadly, BURNOUT doesn't go away on its own and, if left untreated, it can lead to serious physical and psychological illnesses like depression, heart disease and diabetes.  Question is, how do we catch BURNOUT?  Anyone's who's continually exposed to high levels of stress can experience BURNOUT.  Personality characteristics like needing to be in CONTROL and PERFECTIONISM may lead us towards BURNOUT as well📌📌📌

Fact of life, heavy workloads and deadline pressures are a fact of life.  WHO doesn't feel overwhelmed OR stretched thin sometimes?  BUT when relentless work stress pushes you into that debilitating state we call BURNOUT, it becomes a serious problem affecting NOT just your own performance and well-being, both ON and OFF the job, BUT also that of your family, your team💧💧💧

Our takeaways?  Let us hear from the experts WHOSE studies proved that EXHAUSTION is the central symptom of BURNOUT.  THAT it comprises profound physical, cognitive and emotional fatigue that undermines peoples ability to work effectively and feel POSITIVE about what they're doing.  When EXHAUSTED, you'll find you're unable to concentrate OR see the BIG PICTURE and even routine tasks would seem arduous.  CAN WE AVOID BURNOUT?  Absolutely dude😌😌😌

You Can Only Go As Far As Options You Have

You Can Only Go As Far As The Options You Have

OPTIONS OPTIONS OPTIONS.  We survive OR fail based on any of the OPTIONS we have in life.  You Can Only Go As Far As Options You Have and numerous times, I heard someone blurt out [as a post-mortem] that he had NO other options left to choose OR at worst, there was barely any option left for him to decide on.  OR when one hits the wall, one simply passes the buck on those available options he was limited to choose from.  BUT do we agree that, OPTIONS or NO OPTIONS, the ball is on your court📗📙📘

Frankly, though, I strongly disagree with those skewed mindsets.  The thing is, all things being equal, fair and square, we all have three choices in our life.  Those three choices we have are in relation to situations and in particular our life situations that we may not be too happy with.  WHAT we mean by this is the current circumstance you may find yourself in.  Let's take a really simple example, wherein you are in a job you DON'T like.  And worse, you even hate it.  NOT to give up though.  Do you know that at the very least, you got three options to assess❓❓❓

• REMOVE yourself from that situation
• CHANGE that situation you are in now
• ACCEPT the situation.  Keep the status quo

In brief, you have the options and choices that will be the necessary inputs for you to make an informed decision💧💧💧

With that scenario, you could make changes to the situation so that you DON'T continue to hate it.   You could either find a new job and remove yourself from that situation OR if you are unable to do either of those options, the only recourse left for you is to accept the situation, which means, maintaining the status quo.  Something that can help with this is to identify WHAT the job allows you to do, WHY are you grateful for having that job now and how can you change💥💥💥

Yes dude, as this poster loudly screams, 'YOU ARE AS FREE AS YOUR OPTIONS'.  Our takeaway?  Ultimately we all have choices in life, we all have the ability to choose, the issues come WHEN we DON'T feel empowered to make the right choice that will benefit us.  So dude, it's NOT that you DON'T have options at all❌❌❌

People Around You

People Around You

As English Poet John Donne aptly said it, NO MAN IS AN ISLAND.  Exactly.  And more than that, other people's thoughts and behaviors influence you.  The people with WHOM you surround yourself affect your potential.  Yes, this is NOT just pure speculation.  A person's economic mobility is largely determined by the community they live in.  Children from low income communities are less likely to have high earning potential than their affluent peers.  Indeed, it's hard to break out of your surroundings with People Around You📗📙📘

Groups of friends MAY subconsciously pick up one another's behaviors and living style.  They use similar phrases WHEN they speak, and they may influence each other's clothing choices.  The effect of PEER GROUPS has notp gone unnoticed even in the workplace.  To quote respected American author Jim Rohn, 'YOU ARE THE AVERAGE OF THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH'.  This says much about the People Around You📌📌📌

Like WHEN we surround ourselves with strong, high-achievers with good character, we are MORE LIKELY to become like them.  On the other hand, imagine HOW much of a NEGATIVE influence low-achievers can have on you. If your five best friends have a poor outlook on life and are satisfied with sub-par results and outcomes in life, there is a very strong likelihood that some of the NEGATIVITY will rub off on you.  The thing is, the influence of People Around You is easily overlooked [even by you yourself]❎❎❎

This poster from Albert Einstein did grab me by my lapels because this one-liner may have been uttered by him way back the 1800s but it does hold water.  Surely you are aware of people's influence [whether it's POSITIVE or NEGATIVE] on you gets unconsciously overlooked.  WHAT's our takeaway here?  In order to improve your life, associate with people with higher standards than you.  If you have high expectations for yourself and you surround yourself with people WHO also have bold expectations, very likely you'll have better quality of life with People Around You💧💧💧

Yes, this is the thing.  So WHAT's our takeaway today?  Everything that you allow into your life and every action you take reflects WHO you are.  BUT please DON'T get me wrong.  I DIDN'T mean that you have to have the fanciest things in life OR work in the corner office right away, BUT it does mean that you do the best with WHATEVER means you have.  You DON'T have to be the 'TOP DOG' of your organization to do an excellent work.  You DON'T have to be wealthy to keep things organized.  Going above and beyond will take you to the next level of success.  If you feel stagnating in your current situation, it might be time to make some changes with People Around You✅✅✅

Is SELF-CONTROL Good Or Bad?

Is SELF-CONTROL Good Or Bad?

For alignment, let's agree that SELF-CONTROL is that ability to control our feelings, emotions, and reactions.  Many people struggle with SELF-CONTROL.  For example, we need SELF-CONTROL when it comes to staying off social media while at work, sticking to a budget, regulating sugar intake. So, is SELF-CONTROL Good Or Bad?  Scientists continue to study the importance of SELF-CONTROL as a force we can tap into for a more successful , satisfying life.  So, can we further enhance this❓❓❓

Having said this, there is a NOT so raging debate going on whether SELF-CONTROL is GOOD or BAD?  Indeed, it is believed to be key to success in many aspects of life, whether that's getting a promotion at work, sticking to your workout regime or resisting that constant temptation of a sweet treat WHEN you're watching WHAT you eat.  BUT NOT to dampen our hopes on it, the 2018 theory of Professor Thomas Lynch says that high SELF-CONTROL may NOT always be a GOOD thing.  Worse, for some, it could be linked to certain mental health problems.  That Lynch Theory says that everyone of us leans more toward one of the two personality types, namely, UNDERCONTROL or OVER-CONTROL📗📙📘

That theory says further that the way we tend to lean depends on many factors, and that includes our genes, the behavior that people around reward and discourage, our life experiences, and the coping strategies we use in everyday life.  Importantly, being UNDERCONTROLLED or OVERCONTROLLED is neither GOOD or BAD.  While it makes us more likely to behave in a certain way, most of us are psychologically flexible and can adapt to the different situations we're put in.  So, regardless whether we're OVERCONTROLLED or UNDERCONTROLLED, this flexibility helps us deal with life's challenges and setbacks in a constructive way💧💧💧

BUT experts caution us that both UNDERCONTROL and OVERCONTROL can become problematic.  And this usually happens WHEN a combination of biological, social, and personal factors makes us much less flexible.  Most of us are probably more familiar with WHAT problematic UNDERCONTROL looks like.  People WHO are highly UNDERCONTROLLED may have few inhibitions and struggle to control their emotions.  Their behavior may become unpredictable as it is often dependent on the mood they're in.  This can NEGATIVELY affect their relationships, education, work, finances and even their health❎❎❎

WHAT's scary is PROBLEMATIC OVERCONTROL.  Unfortunately, OVERCONTROL isn't talked about as much.  This may be because OVERCONTROLLED traits, such as persistence, the ability to make plans and stick to them. , striving for perfection and being in CONTROL of emotions are often highly regarded in our society.  BUT when OVERCONTROL becomes an issue, it can be damaging in many areas of life.  Our takeaways?  Think of OVERCONTROL scenarios like overly limiting your sugar intake till your sugar-levels will dip way below of WHAT is required.  You'll be rushed to the E.R. surely [I went through that nightmare when it happened to a relative].  So, WHAT's our take?  Take a BALANCED approach in life, dude✅✅✅