WHEN Democracy is 'UP FOR GRABS'

WHEN Democracy is 'UP FOR GRABS'

Everyone in this planet all clamor for DEMOCRACY but what could explain why our whole planet of communities are NOT consistently GREEN ?  Yet everyone of us do hunger for Democracy. Ironically, DEMOCRACY  is 'UP FOR GRABS'  but again we got to work hard for it because it is NEVER served on a silver platter.

Let's see how and where DEMOCRACY now stands across the globe.  Oh I envy the Americas and even South America. From north down to south, it's almost all GREEN except for Venezuela and some countries in Central America.  But what explains why a big chunk of the Americas are all GREEN ?  

Hmmmm well the answer is pretty simple.  YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.  If there are dictators and strongmen lording it over the country, very likely, the people themselves have acquiesced to such autocratic rule, if not necessarily asking for it.  Even in Singapore where I resided for over eight years, it may be debatable as to where it stands as a democracy but to keep this discussion simple, I'll argue that Singapore is a democracy because the democratic bodies all function true to form.  

Obviously, it is beyond argumentation and debate that the United States is the very bastion of democracy.  But so does all the FIRST WORLD countries name it, the U.K., Sweden, Norway, they lead a mile-long list o democracies countries.  So what happens to the THIRD WORLD?  

And what, when and where is our best channel towards DEMOCRACY?  It all starts by  exercising our RIGHT to VOTE during elections.  The U.S. citizenry are our role models for that exercise.  Their campaign events will have the candidates fight an acrimonious battle but whoever wins, the eventual winners are the people, the electorate ❗❗❗

Your 'NORTH-SOUTH' Moments

Your 'NORTH-SOUTH' Moments

Morning morning morning.  Surely you have had your 'NORTH-SOUTH' Moments [and very likely you had it many times in your life].  Whether it was in school, at your workplace, at your business or right with your relationships, you should have gone through the wringer when protagonists were at opposite poles, with one fuming mad as hot as the iron whereas there you are so icy cold.  Or way back in school when your professor was just in that bad-bad mood he starts shouting expletives to the hapless students?  Or at your workplace when after a hiccup hits you, you end up receiving a tongue-lashing from your boss?

So how exactly did you handle things during your 'NORTH-SOUTH' Moments?  Did you FIGHT FIRE with FIRE?  Or did you douse cold and icy water to tame off that fire?  Honestly, there is NO sure-fire formula to fix things when you are in the middle of a furious and raging storm But still, you gotta weather it, like it or not.  What is best is we need to agree on some 'ground rules' to get over your 'NORTH-SOUTH' Moments 

The crux of the matter here is that the common denominator in ALL your 'NORTH-SOUTH' Moments is that we're dealing with EMOTIONS no less, EMOTIONS that are going opposite directions and differing trajectories.  As our life is full of emotional challenges and all too frequently we seem encouraged to BLOCK OUT and avoid our emotions because of the 'tricks' our bodies use to constrict our emotions which even make matters worse.

When we're into these very difficult moments, behavioral experts always counsel us to go the technique called 'OPPOSITE ACTION'.  Emotions are powerful motivators that mobilize us to behave in certain ways.  Each emotion comes with a related action urge.  When we are fearful, we tend to avoid or escape that anxiety.  When we're sad, we become passive, withdrawn, isolated.

Most importantly, we need to KNOW what we DON'T KNOW, i.e. let's ask ourselves whether the emotion in question fits the actual facts of the situation triggering it and if it will be more effective to act upon the action urge you are going through? Be aware that sometimes, our emotions are disproportionate to the situation.  Example is we're having FEAR not because the situation is a threat but simply because we're about to give a presentation to an audience.  But where FEAR is valid, take the 'OPPOSITE ACTION' by letting thing simmer down when fire is raging.  Else, you lose fighting fire with fire.  Bottom-line, handle well enough your 'NORTH-SOUTH' Moments❗❗❗

March to the Beat of Your OWN Drum

March to the Beat of Your OWN Drum

Drums are everywhere and that explains why we have a cacophony of drum beats.  And that doesn't surprise us all if each of us tend to go at paces even differing from our very own drums.  And to make matters worst, are you aware that there are drums so damn loud enough it will break your eardrums with their decibels till you end up marching to the beat of their OWN Drum [and not yours] !

Most people have been told to 'GO WITH THE FLOW' and 'DONT ROCK THE BOAT' their whole lives but that advice isn't always appropriate.  History has shown that change is often brought about by the people who stand out, those who march to the beat of their OWN drum.  But it turns out you shouldn't be like everyone else if you want to live a happier and more fulfilling life.  Now, to be proactive, it helps that you are able to discern [in fact, DETECT] if indeed you are march to the beat of their OWN drum.  First, YOU GOTTA BE YOURSELF.  Our whole lives, we're told to FIT IN and CONFORM TO THE GROUP.

In some cases, that seems a good advice.  Still, it has one major flaw it PREVENTS YOU FROM BEING YOURSELF and it happens YOU are an individual who deserves to stand out for the things that make you different.  NON-CONFORMITY isn't easy because the GROUP MENTALITY always pushes back against it, but that doesn't make it wrong.  the people who stand out as different tend to stand out in positive ways.  Think of how STEFANI GERMANOTTA's career flourished after she stopped conforming to the cookie cutter standards by spreading her wings to be who she truly is and that's LADY GAGA.

People have been standing out all the time in this manner.  A lot of them have enjoyed the benefits of expressing themselves for who they are.  When someone has to hide the things that make them different [for FEAR of bullying], they deny their individuality which can be dangerous for their self-esteem [and probably, even mental health ?].  In short, be WHO YOU ARE even if that means you won't be like everyone else.  At the end of the day, that's a good thing.  You are a unique person and everything that makes you who you are is special.  Embrace that and you will enjoy YOUR friends, YOUR family, YOUR work and YOUR life as long as you keep marching to the beat of your OWN drum✅✅✅

Why Sizzle When Things Fizzle Out

Why Sizzle When Things Fizzle Out

Which happens more often?  Your guess is as good as mine.  We all know that most of the time, things will fizzle out over and over again whereas how often do we sizzle?  As the old cliche goes, 'ONCE IN A BLUE MOON?' What could explain that huge disproportion between SIZZLING when things FIZZLE OUT? Indeed that seems a huge puzzle but it is not.  What is ten times more puzzling is the swiftness when things go from SIZZLING to FIZZLE OUT.  We would hear narratives like... Nothing was wrong with our relationship  We had fun together.  I though we were seeing where things went naturally without any pressure to make anything 'official'.  One day, two weeks of non-communication, things seemed OVER ?!@#$

These days when social media is lording it all over our lives, we need to come into the realization that the disconnect happens much more swiftly and so saddening all because of technology, of our gadgets, of social media.  Even CLOSURES seem a thing of the past.  Instead, social media kicks in.  Messages alerts keep adding up in our social media apps.  But is this fair?

Regardless, if there is one NO-NO.  Let us NOT sulk because that will needlessly kill us.  On the surface, letting communication simply 'flatline' seems lazy and slightly cowardly but it's also a reflection of the low stakes emotional investment that a pair of people have staked in a brief dalliance.  When you've been seeing each other only for a short time, and the texts and phone calls have already begun to wane and peter out, it seems dramatic and slightly narcissistic to pick up the phone and tell someone what they already know.  There is no need to deliver a KILLING BLOW to something that is already dying a natural death.

Psychiatrist studies have shown that rarely two people have exactly the same feelings about what happened, what is happening and what is not speaking means.  This explains why psychiatrists recommend recommend a closure conversation.  Otherwise, can we imagine when someone leaves someone else with the aggrieved party not knowing why the other party ended things.  To say that that is painful may be an understatement.  But the biggest question we need to address is the puzzle how and why things can FIZZLE OUT so quickly?

But rather than waste time to deep-dive on something that is done, why don't we increase our awareness with proactive ways to pre-empt another future failure.  First, ensure the two parties are ALIGNED, which means both parties have the same expectations and commitment.  Second, both parties must be at the same level of READINESS to plunge into that relationship.  Where there is an imbalance, FIZZLING OUT is not far behind.  But when things FIZZLE OUT, that means you got to CUT and CUT CLEAN.  DIVERT your focus.  DIVERT your priorities.  DIVERT your direction [just like a landing aircraft that diverts when the runway does not meet the minimum visibility.  Bottomline is, Sizzle When Things Fizzle Out✅✅✅

Everything That is in the PAST is PAST

Everything That is in the PAST is PAST

Is it true that many of us still get hostaged by our past?  I think so.  I can attest on a first-person basis that many of us [including me in the past] got caught up with our respective past till we realized that we got hostaged inside out.  So, why can't we just bury the past with a shovel and with a trench that is deep enough to cover it beyond oblivion?  So, can we pitch that Everything That is in the PAST is PAST.  Why?  For multifarious reasons, we have to without learning the lessons we absorbed from past failures, past mistakes and even blunders in life.  We just need to agree that everyone of us has a share of the rough and tumble games in life, that we need to admit.

Truth is. the moment we begin to live in the past is the precise moment that we should leave it behind us.  To LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND and drop WHO and WHAT hurt you isn't something that comes easy.  It takes a hell lot of EFFORT, TIME and PATIENCE [+SELF-RESPECT] to keep moving forward.  

Closure is NECESSARY but not always something that's handed out.  Some people are able to push past WHO or WHAT hurt them while others LET IT EAT THEM ALIVE whew.  Accepting what happened for what it is and forcing your mind to focus on other things is a lot easier said than done.  However, LEAVING THE PAST IN THE PAST is undeniably one of the best choices to make.

Frankly, here the arguments why the PAST is PAST.  First, you got to MOVE FORWARD.  If you allow yourself to live in the past and be CONSUMED by what's already done, then you don't give yourself the chance to move on and leave what's in the past TRULY IN THE PAST.  Second, LIFE IS TOO SHORT.  Look, letting the past reside in your head is like letting a SCAB NEVER HEAL.  Letting it not to heal to a point where you keep picking at it, so it keeps re-opening the wound.  Situations and people can only destroy us if we let them.  When life removes somebody or something from your life, if you're able to let it go, then 9 out of 10 you will find that life will replace it with something far bigger and better than you could have ever imagined.

And have your energy spent on a POSITIVE act.  Remember this one-liner: 'GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE'.  This quote is the true example of what you need in your life. Everything That is in the PAST is PAST ✅✅✅

Living Life ON THE EDGE

Living Life ON THE EDGE

Many will blurt, DAMN IT, I just DON'T want to Live Life ON THE EDGE !@#$?  Obviously, inside out, living on the edge implies you seem to live a perilous and high-risk life, a life where you seem to be at the precipice of danger, of failure, of fatally hitting the wall.  And if we want to live a conservative life, all that could matter to us are all the basics in life, having basic food and shelter.  But where does that bring you?  Not far, dude.  In fact, you would hardly move forward with that mindset because it seems then that basic survival for you is all that matters.  But hey, do you deserve to live a life that way?  Sans things that matter most in life, the rewards, the achievements, can we then justify that our life is worth living simply on the premise that we DON'T Live Life ON THE EDGE !@#$?  

Yes we all agree that risks will abound and will be all over you when you Live Life ON THE EDGE but hey, that doesn't mean you are living in hell.  Instead, when you Live Life ON THE EDGE, you will get the best views, the best vantage points to look far ahead the rewards for your picking but which picking will only get ripe when you deserve to reap those fruits.

You might have a challenge question in mind.  Will you be able to BACK OFF?  Of course you can.  You got the whole nine yards behind you to BACK OFF but are you one to BACK OFF if you are at the precipice of grasping your goals within your reach?  So what is expected of you when you Live Life ON THE EDGE?  You got to be RAZOR-SHARP no less.  Swing over to the NBA 2022 Playoffs.  All the playoff teams in the post season badly want a 'W' with Game 1.  Why?  Because they got to have that EDGE.

We have witnessed so many success stories and I'd admit all their narratives are jaw dropping.  If there is a key factor to live life on the edge, it is MOTIVATION.  You need to be your very own MOTIVATOR to achieve those goals you have tried so hard for.  If you were on a cliff right now, at this very moment, and you had the opportunity to fly, would you?  Of course, you would.  You would because you have nothing holding you back.  Because you believe that fate will take you where you need to be taken.

In our life, you will go through hardships, that's a given.  And during those moments, you would feel like life is tumbling in a huge downward spiral.  You'll feel like you have reached your breaking point.  Allow that to be your biggest motivator on seeing that view you have longed for because the view truly is so worth every possible obstacle that you will overcome in life.  Remember WE ARE WHAT WE THINK.  So, let's view life as a mountain and assuming you are at your lowest point of the mountain now, what we need to do is to LOOK UP.  And LOOK UP at all the WHAT IFs.  Let's start climbing to that peak in your life✅✅✅

It's NEVER Outlandish to DREAM BIG

It's NEVER Outlandish to DREAM BIG

Who says it's Outlandish to DREAM BIG when we are all egging everyone to really DREAM BIG in terms of its impact to our life not just for today but for our family's future no less.  Too bad some of us are STILL held back by the influence of the 'old school' which tells us to be tempered.

But how often have we heard of someone NOT dreaming at all and yet hitting pay dirt and BIGTIME?  If that happened, statistics will prove that those are outliers as data will show that less than 0.001% ever happen under those circumstances.  Instead, the most widely accepted equation still tells us that BIG dreams equate to BIG results no less.  

I remember my high school buddy [who was our perennial class salutatorian [because someone else we dubbed as our class genius was a perennial valedictorian].  My buddy always reminded me:  IF YOU AIM FOR THE SKY, IF YOU FAIL, YOU WILL FALL ON THE TREE TOP.  IF YOU AIM FOR THE TREE TOP, IF YOU FAIL, YOU WILL FALL ON THE GROUND.

So, WHAT exactly are our shortfalls?  To be brutally frank, we're so brainwashed by the impossibility of dreams, discouraging us to dream for those IMPOSSIBLE DREAMS unless you are CRAZY@#$%?  But that is HOGWASH because on the contrary, we have seen stories of failed lives simply because they [wrongly] thought that they should NOT be crazy enough to DREAM BIG because they all their efforts will become futile, because all their spent energies will just be that, spent.

Heard of that glass ceiling?  That's the UPPER LIMIT of how far and high we can reach and go.  But how would you know your UPPER LIMIT unless and until you have aimed for the moon and the stars.  Let's face it.  If your aim is to jump six inches high, you could probably jump seven inches but if you'll aim to jump six feet, you may fail but you could probably jump between four to five feet.  Let's DREAM BIG dude ❗❗❗

Have You Stopped Asking WHY?

Have You Stopped Asking WHY?

Happy Easter to all.  BTW, Have You Stopped Asking WHY?  Good question.  I'd safely guess many [most of us anyway] have tapered off from asking WHY?  WHY did I err?  WHY I did my task fail?  WHY did my relationship hit the rough patches?  WHY did I lost my luster with my bosses at work?  WHY did I squander all the goodwill given to me so I can achieve my goals?  WHY am I not getting the guidance I deserve?

In fact and in truth, we should be that inquisitive, questioning everything, even when we succeed and achieve.  You might wonder WHY do we need to QUESTION EVERYTHING even if our locomotive train keeps its chug chug chug momentum, even if everything seems to end in our favor?  It's all because of POST-MORTEM.  Regardless to which side you ended up, initiating a POST-MORTEM leads you to lessons, both the positive ones and the difficult ones that are difficult to swallow.

Let's gloss over the tons of failed stories we witnessed over and over again.  WHY do the same mistakes happen again?  WHY do we commit the same blunders again? WHY do the same failures repeat by itself again and again?  Simple.  No one seems to be aware to initiate a POST-MORTEM. When that is a huge miss if we are not doing it at all because during post-mortems, it covers from end-to-end, those that happened rightly and wrongly are both assessed.  And with the lessons learnt, that guides you to mitigate those pitfalls so you DON'T fall on those trenches again and again.

 And this leads us to CRITICAL THINKING, that reasonable and reflective thinking that is focused on deciding what to believe or do.  Simply put, it means deciding on what's TRUE and WHAT you should do.  CRITICAL THINKING retools us and equips us to come up with better decision-making.  And history itself is peppered with famous persons noted for their CRITICAL THINKING.  Albert Einstein.  Charles Darwin.  Isaac Newton.  Martin Luther King and just one too many.  And this runs parallel to our need to enhance our problem solving skills as those with CRITICAL THINKING tend to solve problems as part of their natural instinct.  Critical thinkers are damn patient

 So you can ask, how can we be a CRITICAL THINKER? Primero, DEFINE YOUR QUESTION.  DON'T be vague and ambiguous.  In fact, you MUST KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW.  Segundo, collate reliable and vetted data and information.  DON'T fall prey on fake info.  Tercero, always ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS.  It all boils down to thinking CLEARLY and talking CLEARLY.  Quarto, when coming up with solutions, always look at things both the short-term and the long-term consequences before reaching a decision.  Both of them are significant variables in the equation. And lastly, NEVER STOP exploring all sides.  There is never just one simple answer and nothing is black or white.  Explore all options and THINK OUTSIDE the BOX before you conclude.  In a nutshell,  NEVER stop asking WHY✅✅✅

Are Your EARS CLOSEST to the GROUND?

Are Your EARS CLOSEST to the GROUND?

Is it worth our time today to discuss our ability to listen?  I plead, YES PLEASE.  Despite the fact that we are all gifted with that LISTENING ability, a plurality [if not a majority] of us are remiss [if not guilty] of not using up to the hilt our ability to LISTEN.  Unless your EARS are CLOSEST to the GROUND, there is always a likelihood that you may miss ADVISORIES, ALERTS, PERILS, RISKS, THREATS, WARNINGS and worse, you may miss expressions of LOVE & WARMTH in your relationships.  And the mother of all the worst things you'll miss will be tons and tons of OPPORTUNITIES in life.  Note that opportunities MISSED are opportunities LOST.  That is not just a fact but that should be part of our human credo.

Throw in today's technology and the zillions of gadgets hovering all over you, you end up in a frenzied pandemonium. Seemingly LOST, BEFUDDLED and just out of control of what's going on in your life.  How often have we seen family members so hostaged with gadgets and yet when he gets SCREAMED at for NOT listening, he'll scream back YES I'M LISTENING ?!@#$

This is our dilemma today.  How many of us really endeavor to ACTIVELY LISTEN?  Many would even be so damn stubborn NOT to reduce the volume of their gadgets and yet they have the temerity to scream back "YES I'M LISTENING" ?!@#$  It is a pity we seem to have lost appreciating the gap between ACTIVE vs PASSIVE listening.

So, in the simplest terms, what exactly does ACTIVE LISTENING mean?  In layman's terms, it is as simple as EXTENDING YOUR ANTENNA so that you can get alerted of an incoming train or a looming opportunity.  Hey, i'll pre-empt you if you argue that opportunities are ADVERTISED.  Yes you are right and wrong because by the time the opportunities get ADVERTISED, those opportunities have dissipated in thin air, whew.

And how popular are drones these days?  They are that popular such that even people with less education know it like the palm of their hands because drones may lead them to either an ALERT or an OPPORTUNITY.  So now, do I win you over to keep your EARS CLOSEST to the GROUND❓❓❓

Aiming For a Spot @Mount Rushmore?

Aiming For a Spot @Mount Rushmore?

Aiming For a Spot @Mount Rushmore?  That's NOT a bad idea to aim for.  Aiming for a spot at that historical national memorial @South Dakota would have made you a laughingstock fifty or more years ago.  Today, however, looking at the landscape, there is room for a fifth face and that could be YOU [alongside famous American Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.  Of course, the immediate reaction you'll get is: 'ARE YOU CRAZY'?

No sirssssss, it's NEVER crazy to dream having your place [or at the very least aiming for a spot @Mount Rushmore?  Why?  That historical monument should serve as an inspiration to humanity [yes sirrrrrs, NOT just to Americans] because each of these presidents etched a place in history under difficult circumstances.

Now, to lighten up our discussion, let's get away from that pensive mood cracking our brains how a non-American like me can even dream [CRAZILY'] to have a spot @Mount Rushmore.  Now for trivia, do you know how the flip side of Mount Rushmore looks like?

Now for fun facts.  This is the backside of Mount Rushmore.  NOT BAD.  What this magnifies and tells us is that although the former American Presidents are historical figures in their own right, they are all JUST HUMANS.  There is always the human side in them.  And this brings me back full circle, egging us all to AT THE VERY LEAST to dream and aim for a figurative spot @Mount Rushmore.  And we can accomplish it within our respective lives but eventually reaching the zenith as our commonality. 

Oh, I'd like to quote Elon Musk, the 'ultra mega' successful American billionaire brutally saying: "NO, I DON'T EVER GIVE UP.  I'D HAVE TO BE DEAD OR COMPLETELY INCAPACITATED".  Whew!  That was a mouthful to munch and digest.  In the simplest terms, what he meant, once he aims to achieve something, he'll NEVER STOP till he achieves it [even if he fails over and over again, if you get to know the story behind his SpaceX venture which costs him several billions of $$$ in failed attempts].  Back to our lives, it shouldn't be a HARD SELL for us to digest [and hopefully] translate into concrete action these Elon Musk's compelling words.

Now, what is it 1% DO [to SUCCEED] and 99% of us DON'T do [to FAIL].  #1 TAKE ADVANTAGE of INTRODUCTIONS.  Top people never miss out on this because some intro's may to lead to future opportunities.  #2 CONSIDER THE LITTLE THINGS.  Many times I remember meeting a CxO-level guy for the Nth time and he would ask me like, "HOW WAS YOUR PROJECT in INDIA?" [when he's got nothing to do with it].  #3 CONSISTENTLY READ/LEARN.  That NEVER STOPS in life.  #4 DON'T FORGET to SET GOALS and SURROUND YOURSELF with other GREAT people.  This is NOT to look down on people but ask yourself, if you spend the hours of idle time with kibitzers, busybodies, gazers intruders, peepers, snoopers.  Think of your LOST opportunities to hear and even learn of sensible things relevant to your life [instead of 'senseless stuff'].  Oh, DONT forget to aim for a spot @Mount Rushmore❗❗❗