Start With One Foot in the Door

Start With One Foot in the Door

Generally speaking, life in itself has been a fair play for everyone.  The good faith that always prevails is to level the playing field.  Whether we're referring to families or organizations, nothing differs.  We are all given EQUAL CHANCES at the starting line.  Parents would preach the best for their children.  Bosses at the workplace would encourage everyone to be on the same page.  In competitive sports, every single iota of detail is checked and rechecked.  See those WBA/WBC title fights where down to the gloves and the hand taping are checked by all protagonists to ensure there is fair play right when the bell starts the bout within the boxing ring.

Then, what ensues is that things seem to have happened so fast with one boxer peppering his adversary with a flurry of punches right on the early rounds.  And that leads him to gain that momentum to win the fight.  Does these scenarios look familiar to you?  Those times when you thought you had all the time in the world until you realized belatedly that it's ending up with you doing a 'catching up', rallying because you seem to be 'eating the dust from behind.  So, shouldn't we start with one foot in the door?

The illusion of catching up goes like this:  If I take a full day, weekend or week and abandon all the things I enjoy doing, I can get everything done that I feel guilty about not doing before.  Then I will feel better and everything will be complete.  The REALITY is that CATCHING UP NEVER ENDS.  There will always be more.  But these days, there are culprits that seem to be dragging us, pulling us behind.  You gotta detect these 'CULPRITS'.

Go to social media.  The more you post, the more you receive comments and reactions.  With emails, the more you send, the more you receive.  Last night, I was kind of 'cleaning up' my mails until I unearthed one mail after another.  That only delayed my machine shutdown by another two hours.  Now, if we are in a rat race [which we are], those two hours should be a major setback for me.  Time squandered, if you may.

Another irony that's causing us more to be left behind is this human nature that tells us staying up late to catch up on things will work against you, against us.  Why?  You just CAN'T sleep an extra three hours on a Saturday to make up for the sleep you lost the night before.  Instead, if you routinely go to sleep and wake up at a similar time, you will be more ALERT, more FOCUSED and more EFFECTIVE.  That's starting with one foot in the door by then❗❗❗

Life Means Fighting Your Way UP

Life Means Fighting Your Way UP

Hell, how can things be lifeless when we got a full life ahead of us?  It's NOT as if we sprung out on this planet comatose.  Instead, we were all born with bags full of hope being nursed first by our very own parents.  What is deflating to hear is when people we know would hit the wall and end up as an utter failure. All along, life means fighting your way UP.

Our lives are incomparably much easier when compared with the lives of our ancestors.  Most of us today DON'T even have to imagine what it would be like to hunt for our own food, grow our own crops, tend to a fire OR [worst of all] entertain ourselves without all the gadgets all over our place these days.  In fact, we now live in the SAFEST and MOST PEACEFUL times in human history [barring something cataclysmic happens] down the road.

Truth is, even when we are idle, we all can afford to be daydreaming.  So, life has never been this better and easier.  Yet, it pains me to see and know that many still fail.  Why oh why.  What is the jinx that's leading us to that deep abyss?  Even in the western world where the average life is already considered affluent as compared to the Third World, why do we still hear a surge of depression?  Just one too many struggles in life are happening around us.  

And if we swing over to the Third World, life is that miserable day-in day-out.  People struggle and live way below the poverty line.  Me thinks, all these are a product of our complacency straight from our childhood.  Probably, we didn't see the role models that should have been our guide in our future.  And maybe, we were just following the footsteps of our previous generations, even if it means that their previous footsteps got it all wrong.  Where will we ever end if we continue to be caught up with this vicious cycle of sufferings and endless sights of poverty by the impoverished, the least fortunate?

C'mon, are we all living and breathing simply to survive?  Can't we enjoy life, feel the beauty around us?  Earlier in my life, if I was told that HAPPINESS is a choice, I would have laughed it off.  And I might call you simply CRAZY.  After all, no one chooses to experience things like pain of low self-esteem, anxiety or worst, depression.  What I've come to realize later is that HAPPINESS isn't about leading an obstacle-free life but instead, it's all about LEARNING how to change what you focus on and how you react to circumstances regardless whether they're good or bad.  And, nothing wrong for you to realize that life means fighting your way UP✅✅✅

Is Being LATE Really LATE?

Is Being LATE Really LATE?

Is Being LATE Really LATE?  For multiple reasons, I beg to defer with that articulation because in life, there is really nothing as LATE.  Blame it on the man-made clocks, watches and calendars because it led us humans to wrongly think that everything in life has a DEADLINE!  Have we heard someone graduating from high school at 40?  Or someone finally graduating from the university at 50?  Or someone landing his first full-time job when he was nearing middle age?  Or a newly wed couple whose ages are way past middle age and yet they would become proud parents of their first-born baby?  So, being LATE is NOT really LATE!

Heard of someone fretting because he finally got his first brand-new car only when he hit 30? Or a couple not too proud because they finally found their own home quite late in life?  And the truth is, if we are so focused with timelines for the sake of timelines, can you just take the plunge for a specific endeavor if you are not ready enough?  That just dooms you to fail at the very start.

Which reminds me of that children's story about those 3 little pigs who each rushed to build their own houses but when the big bad wolf comes down swooping, the houses built of straw and sticks all crumbled quickly whereas the house built out of bricks remained standing.  And this brings us back one full circle.  In life, we all want things done quickly to see the results and everyone's guilty of this [including myself].  In this fast-paced environment, we've driven a mentality driven by the idea that time is money and every second lost is an opportunity wasted.

With everything rushed, we're used to taking the EASY WAY OUT by building our own houses out of straws and sticks and voila, you would see immediate results.  And when there are roof leaks and the like, we feel it's NO BIG DEAL because we can easily patch it.  In that story of the 3 pigs, only the third pig with that brick home did foresee that he will need to be able to weather through winds and storms ahead.  Can't we be like that third pig or like these plants who are NOT misguided that Being LATE Really LATE✅✅✅

A Beggar Rather Than an Emperor ?

A Beggar Rather Than an Emperor?

Today's piece is quite a departure from our more popular threads.  Instead, I'd like to take a leaf from the touching story of a Hong Kong family who, despite all their affluence in their life, decided to pack whatever can be packed in their luggage and they went off 10,000 miles away as 'refugees' even if they had to reboot and restart their lives as close as Beggars Rather Than as Emperors.

Travails and stories like this are that jaw dropping and unprecedented.  More often in life, our choices and options seem to be no-brainers because of the huge difference between two choices.  But can we imagine, if we had everything running in our favor, which choice will we pick?

How many of us Would Rather be a Beggar Than an Emperor?  Guess not too many.  And honestly, I'm not even sure how I will decide when such need to decide pops up.  What I hope is that by then, I will have the gumption to decide what is best for me and my family holistically.  Gentle reminder here.  Let us know miss out factoring the welfare and future of our family because they're ALWAYS part of the equation.  Playing our cards correctly is a must because 99% of decisions are beyond the reach of technology.  No way can you click 'UNDO' because no such function exists in our life.

At the end of the day, life is all about risk and resiliency.  How vulnerable are you to those challenges in life?  And how do you fight off those roadblocks?  Take risks no less.  And if you need to take more risks, that's welcome news because there is no limit to taking risks except the need for us to take calculated risks.  We DON'T take risks as an impulse.  Neither can taking risks be coming from off-the-cuff decisions.  But instead, taking risks will crossing the bridge when you get there.

Whether you're ready to take the plunge or not will mean thinking things over multiple times.  And as old cliche goes, two heads are better than one.  So, it pays that you consult your spouse/partner or your immediate family.  I learned this multiple times. Regardless of your capabilities, you may falter with your decisions unless you 'combine forces' with your support structure because to be a beggar rather than an emperor will be your ultimate decision in your life✅✅✅

Hands Down Let's Go For ATTITUDE

Hands Down Let's Go For ATTITUDE

ATTITUDE or APTITUDE?  Oh, in the old schools [where I was very much a part of], I constantly admired our school's 'cream of the crop', the consistent first and second placers of our batch year-in year-out.  But when we moved up to High School, I slowly realized that not even our perennial first and second placers in our class could romp away with all the awards to be coveted and grabbed. 

Slowly, I gradually realized that the weight on the scale was tilting towards ATTITUDE.  And I'd credit my high school advisers and english/literature teachers because after languishing behind the shadows of our perennial class topnotichers.  Late in the day, I heaved a sigh of deep relief as gradually I was being MY OWN MAN. 

As a hiring manager till to date, I reckon I have interviewed quite hundreds of job applicants and I have to admit, throughout the hiring process, not once did I become partial towards APTITUDE.  It is a PLUS and it may move the needle only if there is sheer deadlock between applicants.  

Zig Ziglar, the noted American author and motivational speaker, minced no words in this poster: "YOUR ATTITUDE, NOT YOUR APTITUDE, WILL DETERMINE YOUR ALTITUDE".  In the shortest words, he meant to impart the message that as we all gear up to takeoff from our respective runways in life, we will go for as high the altitude we can stabilize our flight.  Too bad, each of us would end up with our respective altitudes.    

Today, as I look back the roads I did travel, I'd say what brought me forward and what pushed me to get nearer my goals was never my APTITUDE but rather it was the unbending ATTITUDE. Word of caution, however.  Not just any kind of ATTITUDE can be your catalyst.  It has to be the all-around positivity that will envelope you, every step of your way.  If there is EVERYTHING IN LIFE, IT IS ATTITUDE❗❗❗
 

Play the Cards You're Dealt

Play the Cards You're Dealt

Everyone in life CAN'T deny that at any given time, we always have a deck of cards to work our way out in life but how often did you hear that the deck of cards they have is NOT enough.  Really? But that is NOT the way life is played.  No one guaranteed us a 'full house' of cards at all.  You can have just a solitary ace or even with no ace at all.  Yet you're expected to Play the Cards You're Dealt.  As this poster says it all: 'YOU CAN'T CHOOSE THE HAND YOU WERE DEALT BUT YOU CAN CHOOSE HOW YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS".  A most obvious parallelism can be witnessed at the NBA season where the head coach needs to play whichever players remain on the bench due to injuries and pandemic protocols endured by its star players.  It has always been on the 'LAST MAN STANDING'.

Let's look back into real life stories around us.  How many times have we heard retorts like.... 'Oh, not enough $$$', 'Oh no, not that kind of job', 'Not the country I want to go to', 'Not that food for our meal [when he has no $$$], 'I prefer our holiday @Maldives [but everyone has to wait donkey years because of $$$'].

When you are next to a parched, dried, arid tree or a barren land at that, do you have much choices in life?  Yes you may be right, eventually the time will come when you will have much more choices [as compared to today where probably all you have is one solitary option [AND NOTHING ELSE], whew.  If you have to wait when you will have all the choices on your hands, you could be counting not just years and probably a decade or more.

Oh, I like this poster which runs, 'TOO MANY PEOPLE UNDERVALUE WHAT THEY ARE AND OVERVALUE WHAT THEY'RE NOT.  In the most simple terms and to be blunt and frank about it, let us NOT be too harsh on ourselves.  If that's all your capabilities can handle now, if that's all the $$$ you can now afford, make do with what you, with what you are capable and what you can budget despite the meager resources.  NEVER [as in NEVER] stall things and STOP moving forward simply because it is 'NOT ENOUGH'.  Let us agree on one thing.  In life, things WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.

Yesirrrrrs, in life, it will NEVER BE ENOUGH.  Let's face it, human nature tells us that our wants and desires are just INSATIABLE.  Do we get satisfied?  Yes we do but it's so TEMPORAL, very fleeting and come next day, you will realize that your feet are back to where you where either yesterday, last month, last year or the last time around.  Point is, let us NOT get stuck up in a STATE of STUPOR, idle and with no significant progress at all.  Even if you are down holding on to just bread crumbs, let us realize that bread crumbs are much better than having nothing and nil at all.  Let's hope that from here onwards, everyone of us will Play the Cards You're Dealt❗❗❗

Temp Check in Life

Temp Check in Life

Do we need a Temp Check in Life?  Yesirrrrs absolutely.  Not just when you're experiencing flu-like symptoms.  In fact, taking a temp check is a MUST-DO multiple times over and over again throughout our life journey.  But the most pressing question is when do we initiate for a Temp Check in Life?  Is it when all things are just nice and dandy?  When nothing just seem to go wrong?

And unless if you're going through flu-like symptoms, taking a Temp Check should not happen that often.  But there will be rough patches and weak links in our life journey.  When?  When not all things seem to go right anymore.  When you're stumbling down.  When you're hitting the wall.  When smooth runs are turning into uphill climbs, steep climbs at that.  When you need to fix things.  When you need to find answers to unanswered questions.

Quick question.  Why do we think there are still more failures littered all over the place?  Quick answer.  Many of us missed that boat, that need to run a Temp Check.  Missing it either because we were unaware of that need for a Temp Check or we simply DON'T have the buy-in for that must-do Temp Check.

And if you ask, when is the best timing to run a Temp Check?  Do it, run it ASAP when things are not smoothly running.  It may just be an isolated rough patch.  But what guarantees you that rough patch will not linger and propagate like a virus?  So, can you do a Temp Check sometime later?  I'm sorry that may be TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE.

What happens if we can run a timely Temp Check?  A lot.  Obvious errors not detected will surface.  Mistakes then get rectified.  Directions or strategies get re-plotted.  A reassessment of the whole mission gets undertaken.  Weaknesses get addressed.  Holes and flaws get plugged.  Shortfalls and deficiencies get focused on.  The thing is, let us NOT allow our freight train to end up as a train wreck after all the CHUG-CHUG-CHUG✅✅✅

Turn the Plane Around Before it Crashes

Turn the Plane Around Before it Crashes

Oh it's quite a taboo and frightening to talk about a plane crashing.  Not to worry, that's not our thread for today.  Instead, we'd like to harp on the need to Turn the Plane Around Before it Crashes.  And in life, we DON'T want to see even one life doomed to fail at all.  Instead, if one's life is 'going down south', the immediate priority is how to turn things around and avert that impending end.

SOS alerts, those are the last messages I'd like to hear anyway.  'Mayday' calls tell us that a plane is doomed to hit a fatal end very soon.  But before we try to figure out how to turn the plane around before it crashes, let's dissect life itself.  Why do we fail in life?  Most common denominator is our LACK of SELF DISCIPLINE.  If we are disciplined enough, we can avoid temptations and distractions, leading us to fail.

Besides that, some of us tend to lack the PERSISTENCE needed in life.  You can be intelligent and/or talented but if you DON'T combine these two with PERSISTENCE, you'll eventually fail.  In fact, a lack of PERSISTENCE is a huge obstacle to success.  And if you feel you lack it, find ways to STOP GIVING UP too quickly.  

Now here's the crucial one.  You got to GO AGAINST THE CURRENT [just akin to that plane which needs to turn around [VERY QUICKLY] before it crashes.  But as it is, it is always easier to swim with the flow.  BUT here's the BUT.  It will lead you WHERE EVERYONE GOES.

PLANNING kicks in as well.  Without a proper plan, you are LESS LIKELY to succeed in life.  It doesn't matter if the plan is imperfect or if things are not going to work.  Without a clear plan, you'll most likely go left, right, forward, backward and in the end, you'll never get nearer your goals.  And the importance of planning can never be understated.  In life, just like that plane looking at an imminent crash, you need to gather all your grit determination to GO AGAINST THE CURRENT to avert an imminent failure.  In a nutshell, do turn the plane around before it crashes❗❗❗

Be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN in the PAINT'

Be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN in the PAINT'

In the NBA jargon, the 'PAINT' area refers to that 'restricted area right around the goal  and once you're there with the ball, you'll have a very high probability of putting the ball in the cup.  How do you turn yourself unstoppable in the 'PAINT' area?  Be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN' in the PAINT', you'll be unstoppable.

And here's a picture I grabbed from the NBA games.  Notice how crowded is that 'PAINT' area as everyone is outmuscling each other there.  To be an unstoppable monster in that 'PAINT' area, you got to be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN' no less.  Back into our life, do we need to be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN' in the PAINT'? Absolutely.  Why?  Because in life, you got to move in full throttle once you are all focused to zoom towards your goal.  And as a 'FREIGHT TRAIN' in the PAINT', everything's on your side.

Question now:  what should we do in life for us to be like a 'FREIGHT TRAIN' in the PAINT' [in life]?  Simple. MOMENTUM.  Gain that momentum, keep and sustain that momentum till the FINISH LINE because only MOMENTUM will carry you through your goal.  Can you reach the FINISH LINE with no momentum.  Yes you can BUT you might be one of the cellar dwellers.  

Bigger question, how do you gain that MOMENTUM in life? Start with the 'BABY STEPS'.  How exactly?  Practice ONE THING EVERY DAY.  Note we didn't say TEN THINGS.  Why one thing?  One thing alone that you practice daily allows your mind to FOCUS.  For every item on the list, a piece of your focus is taken away and that means the power momentum may elude us.

Having gained a modest momentum, let's commit to the long-term.  The misconception about momentum is that it happens quickly.  By committing to the long-term, you head down the path of MOMENTUM.  Focusing on the short-term will only make you obsessed with results that you haven't yet earned and then giving up when you don't see them.  In life, don't we want to be a 'FREIGHT TRAIN in the PAINT' ❓❓❓

Helping Hand for Teens?

Helping Hand for Teens?

You and me are definitely NOT teens anymore but we could have teens around us, our nephews, neices or even children.  So, I guess it's about time we discuss about one of the last discussed segment of our society and these are the TEENS. I guess everyone will agree that they need a Helping Hand much more than the majority of our current demographics.  Why do TEENS need help?  For so many compelling reasons, TEENS need our help.

For multiple [and likely countless] times in their lives, TEENS seem to be neither here nor there.  Neither are they looked up as adults nor as children anymore.  So you may not agree but these are tough times for teens.  And according to the U.S. Surgeon General in his advisory released in December, the pressure that teens are facing today are unprecedented.  

Experts claim that youth mental health is in crisis [and it's not just because of this long-drawn pandemic].  According to the CDC Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance survey, mental health among youth did a 'nose dive', with DEPRESSION and SADNESS increasing by 40%, whew.  What seems to prevail these days is that perceived PERFECTIONISM in TEENS. Many TEENS feel like they are not good enough unless they are at the top of their class and excel in their sports event.

Some of this feeling of not being 'GOOD ENOUGH' comes from comparing themselves with others or via social competition.  For TEENS in school, determining their value means comparing themselves with others as it has been perpetuated in schools with grades and ratings, which then makes it so effortlessly easy to measure up to their competition.

Thing is, comparing oneself to others and striving to be perfect is a RECIPE for mental health problems.  What can we do?  How can we help TEENS see that it's possible to have high standards for themselves while at the same time treating themselves kindly?  That they DON'T have to beat themselves up with harsh words and unrelenting self-criticism to excel.  What else can we do?  Encourage them to speak kindly to themselves because when they prevail, we prevail as well in tandem with them ✅✅✅