WHAT IF Everyone Thinks You're Wrong BUT You're Right [Or Otherwise]?

WHAT IF Everyone Thinks You're Wrong BUT You're Right [Or Otherwise]?

WHAT IF Everyone Thinks You're Wrong BUT You're Right [Or Otherwise]?  We've all been in the circumstance WHERE we're having a conversation [OR sometimes, an argument] with someone and they're convinced you're wrong about something even though you know you're right.  WHETHER it's trivial facts OR serious issues, HOW you react to the accusation can turn the course of the whole conversation.  Of course sometimes we can fall into such infallibility battles even WHEN we're NOT arguing with a know-it-all.  We often slide into them and gradually, even with reasonable people💧💧💧

Sometimes, we do get exasperated with each other and even impatient to prove our point.  And to keep our boats afloat, we start rocking each other's boats.  Then, pretty soon the goal is sinking each other, proving once and for all that the other person is a complete nincompoop.  Psychologists have even coined the 'winner takes all, loser still pays' pattern.  Indeed, that goes a long way toward explaining WHY when we're in a hole we keep digging.  Experts confirm that those patterns show up even in wars, elections keeping up with the Joneses, gambling, investing and even informal arguments.  We invest then, having invested are unwilling to let go.  We're willing to pay almost anything to keep from losing but so are our competitors.  NO ONE willing to surrender❌❌❌

Experts have practical recommendations:

CHECK YOUR OWN ARGUMENTS FIRST - Just because you know you're right it DOESN'T mean getting into an actual argument is worth it.  As our forefathers shared their wisdom, CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES

DON'T BE EMOTIONALLY OVERWHELMED - WHEN you're opposed by someone, you tend to have an emotional response which is normal BUT experts advise it's best to keep calm💥💥💥

IT'S NOT ALWAYS NECESSARY TO CHANGE SOMEONE'S MIND - Sometimes it is just plain NOT worth it to try and change someone's mind.  UNLESS an issue is that serious enough, it's occasionally best to just agree to disagree and move on

SOME ISSUES ARE OBJECTIVE, SOME ARE SUBJECTIVE - With concrete issues, like the height of the tallest mountain], it's very possible you're right provided you have observable, objective and verifiable facts✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  Your relationship should dictate HOW you respond.  WHEN a friend OR  a family member says you're wrong about something you know HOW to temper your response because you've known them for a long time.  WHEN it's a stranger OR worse, a boss OR co-worker, it's important to weigh the usefulness of a response.  If your boss is vindictive, it's likely best to accept their wrongness and move on IF you want to keep your job [UNLESS their wrongness is a high risk and perilous to you OR even to your organization.  And IF you think you're CORRECT, make sure you're CORRECT.  It seems obvious to you that you're right BUT that DOESN'T mean you're NOT making assumptions.  And once you've decided it's actually worth reacting WHEN someone says you're wrong, it's time to formulate that response in a way that will actually get your point across❗❗❗

Multitasking, REALLY?

Multitasking, REALLY?

Today, the vast majority of us multitask while using our smartphones.  Checking our emails, surfing social media, texting, launching a long list of mobile apps, and then, you add in Netflix streaming at the background of the wall-mounted SmartTV, then you're grabbing some foodies while working OR while engaged in a conversation.  MULTITASKING has  become such a regular part of our lives that most of us that most of us believe we do it well.  Multi-tasking, REALLY❓❓❓

BUT here's a not so good news from neuro-scientists.  In their most recent studies, it found that people WHO were frequent media MULTITASKERS had reductions in their brains' grey matter, those areas related to cognitive control and the regulation of motivation and emotion.  They linked up their most recent study with a 2016 research WHICH found that chronic media MULTITASKERS manifested weakness in both their working memory [that ability to store relevant information while working on a task] and long-term memory [the ability to store and recall information over longer periods of time]💦💦💦

When the Covid-19 Pandemic broke out, there were studies covering people's MULTITASKING at home over a seven-day period and the common conclusion is that the more people MULTITASKED, the more likely they were to exhibit behavioral distractibility.  And the prevailing assumption is that by responding to so many distractions, one loses the ability to distinguish between important and unimportant interruptions💧💧💧

These days, WHAT's the common dilemma whether you are in Ankara [Turkey], Moscow [Russie], New Delhi or Mumbai [both in India], Jakarta [Indonesia] OR Manila [Philippines], MULTITASKING can make you walk into traffic.  Researchers compiled information of 1,400 pedestrians in New York City WHO were hit by a car, and discovered that 20 percent of teenagers reported being distracted by a mobile device WHEN they were stuck [as compared to 10% adults] in traffic💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  MULTITASKING hurts and impacts a lot.  Call it COLLATERAL DAMAGE.  A study in the classroom concluded that students WHO MULTITASKED scored lower in their exams.  From a health perspective, experts concluded that MULTITASKING can lead to falling and breaking bones.  A recent study of the elderly found that MULTITASKING was likely to affect women's gait, leading to a significantly greater number of falls and broken bones.  So, let's revisit the viability of MULTITASKING😕😕😕

When You Can't See The Forest

When You Can't See The Forest

This may NOT be happening 100% of the time BUT how often is it When You Can't See The Forest?  Should be QUITE OFTEN.  Thing is, in life, we're often upset by many annoyances and frustrations.  If only we can broaden our perspective to expand our mindfulness, strength and resilience.  Back to our lives, DIDN'T you observe how we're often bothered by many 'little things' and we end up NOT realizing their insignificance in the greater scheme of things.  Sadly, most of WHAT annoys us WON'T even be remembered hours or even weeks later.  Instead of dwelling on minor incidents and letting them ruin your day, consider the big picture and allow your broader, wiser perspective to shape your outlook.  So, WHY do we need to see the WHOLE FOREST?  The LARGER PERSPECTIVE?  The benefits are one too many and it's worth to take a sampling📗📙📘

These days, the velocity of CHANGE is moving at an increasing pace.  In fact, everyone of us would feel the immense pressures to deliver on our accountabilities while we continue to juggle the realities of today's world.  The problem is WHEN we constantly operate in this state, it can become too easy to lose sight of the BIG PICTURE.  Now, for a moment, let's consider the BIG PICTURE is a mountain top.  Picture yourself having hiked up to the top of the mountain and looking down at the valley below WHERE you live💎💎💎

While most of your time is spent in the valley living your everyday life, solving common problems and overcoming challenges, WHEN you do climb to the top of the mountain, you would then gain a new perspective.  From that perspective, you then can see things clearly that may have otherwise been so obvious.  Roads are NOT straight, homes and shops might NOT be ideally located.  Going to the top gives you that ability to observe and correct OR improve things that might otherwise be missed. So, the question to you will be, HOW can you be better💦💦💦

So, for us to see the BIG PICTURE, experts encourage us to ask these questions:

WHY are things occurring as they are?

WHAT is really necessary?

HOW do the various pieces fit into the grand scheme of things?

Still, the question bugging us is:  WHEN we get pulled in so many directions, with shifting priorities, and the never-ending pressure to produce the results💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WHY should we aim for the BIG PICTURE instead of that narrowed view?

To ALLOW us to see opportunities to improve.

To ALLOW us to bring the BIG PICTURE view to be communicated across.

To REINFORCE the real reason for the activities you perform daily

Dude, moving forward, let us endeavor for the BIG PICTURE so we can holistically get the clearest picture possible😀😀😀

Don't Forget To Live

Don't Forget To Live

Don't Forget To Live.  Yes dude, many of us are guilty about being so engaged and focused making a living to the extent that we FORGET TO LIVE?  Or have we ever got so excited about what's to come in the future that we completely forgot to live in the present?  Oh, I was guilty of this in the past as well and I know for sure that many others either have dealt or are still dealing with this problem.  It's easy to forget about living life itself.  I remember when I was in High School, all I could think of was going to college and in turn, I admit I missed quick a chunk of my High School life.  Those are the days I'll never get back📗📙📘

Sure, many of us have the grandest visions about our future.  BUT here's the BUT.  BUT I didn't take the time to fully enjoy where I could have savored my moments.  During those times, I admit I DIDN'T take ownership but instead I was guilty for neglecting the present.  So why do we need to live life?  It's because the PRESENT is here to help develop and mold us into the individuals we need to become💦💦💦

Day by day, LIFE is fleeing from us.  It's NOT just youth that needs to be reminded of this.  We as adults and workers and entrepreneurs need the same reminder.  It is so easy to get caught up in the activities we're engaged that we completely forget to LIVE fully in the NOW.  Decades from now, you will look back thinking what a mistake it was to NOT be as PRESENT as you could have been📌📌📌

So, how is it WHEN sometimes, deep inside you feel like SOMETHING IS MISSING?  Oh Oh, maybe that's because we are living someone else's life?  Maybe we allowed other people to influence OR determine our choices OR worst, WHEN we are trying to please the expectations of others.  Social pressure is deceiving, we all become prey without even noticing it💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Yes, sometimes we seem to have lost that passion.  Our FIX: Regain that passion for the life you want.  You need to recover the 'OWNERSHIP' of your choices.  True, expectations are hard to overcome.  So, WHY don't we sweep under the carpet that tendency to be pleasing others because that's like chasing a moving target.  In the end, people will even have multiple 'HOPES' for you.  So, let us agree that by trying to please everyone, we will likely end up pleasing no one [and that includes ourselves because by then you get frustrated of yourself]😌😌😌

Stating The Obvious [BUT UNSEEN]

Stating The Obvious [BUT UNSEEN]

Stating The Obvious [BUT UNSEEN] may seem the most boring stuff to discuss about BUT here's the thing, a lot of things that seem OBVIOUS are hardly seen, sometimes unseen OR there is just too little awareness that such thing ever exists, if at all.  So, this time around, we seem to be missing a huge chunk of stuff in life, all because we DON'T see the OBVIOUS📗📙📘

FIRST THINGS FIRST - Take hold of your morning right after you wake up.  Many of us end up wasting our day all because we DIDN'T take control of things right after we woke up.  Remember that FAUX PAS where you had to hit the snooze button???

PREPARE YOUR TASK LIST - If you DON'T have it, it is akin to departing from the port to cross from the Pacific to Atlantic Oceans BUT with no travel itinerary, no scheduled port of calls.  The worst casualty here will be your PRIORITY TASKS that will end up mixed up with all the other tasks including the non-sensical.  WHO wants to take a journey like this???

UNLESS you are now enjoying your well-deserved retirement holidaying in the Mediterranean, we all need to take calculated RISKS in life.  It's as simple as crossing the street.  If you DON'T want to take the risk of [remotely BUT possibly] being run over when crossing, then DON'T get out of your home.  BUT where does that leave you???

ENDEAVOR TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE - If you want to wake up the next day, making that new day just similar the previous day, just another uneventful day, you're about to waste that new dawning day.  WHAT A WASTED DAY

AVOID INDECISIONS - As it is unavoidable to get into situations where some decisions are NOT that easy to be made, NEVER run away or AVOID those moments of INDECISION.  Conventional wisdom tells us that there is either a CORRECT decision versus a WRONG decision.  BUT do you know that the WORST WRONG decision is WHEN one is indecisive and either delays or avoids making a decision.  WHAT hurts most is that those INDECISIONS mean that you are losing by DEFAULT, even by NOT lifting your finger💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Many things in life are SIMPLE ENOUGH.  Sadly, in many circumstances, it is us who make things complicated.  And the worst skewed thinking is that when you avoid difficult situations that need to be resolved, you are pushing yourself in a much deeper morass.  Allow me as well to quote EN TOTO these five SIMPLE RULES.  Nothing to elaborate OR window-dress in these most simple rules ever, which psychologists declare are directly beneficial to improve and even get that HAPPINESS embedded in our daily life.  Dude, this is STATING THE OBVIOUS [BUT UNSEEN though]💧💧💧

Fake Dopamine, Anyone?

Fake Dopamine, Anyone?

Guess WHAT is the 'celebrity'  among our brain chemicals?  You got it right, dude.  It's the DOPAMINE.  As it's called neurotransmitters, DOPAMINE is indeed involved in addiction BUT it isn't a 'pleasure chemical'.  In fact, experts confirm that it has lots of functions in our brain, being involved in everything from regulating movement to the control of attention.  And in greater part, its effects depend on WHICH of the brain's pathways it is operating in.  Problem is, WHENEVER we hear DOPAMINE, it's usually a vague reference to the role of DOPAMINE.  Researched and case studies in the Las Vegas environments have been good samples of FAKE DOPAMINE📗📙📘

Studies made on the Las Vegas roulette players have recorded as much activity in the 'accumbens' when punters lose money with a miserable 'NEAR MISS' as WHEN they have an enjoyable win.  In this case, DOPAMINE seems NOT to be signaling pleasure BUT instead indicating HOW close you got to the reward and thus, encouraging you to go for another attempt!@#$%?  And experts say that this works well WHEN success depends on skill BUT falsely compels us in games of chance. And this makes our head spin💧💧💧

It's true we all receive a hit of DOPAMINE each time we check social media posts or even our mobile phones.  BUT hey hey hey, hey, hey, 'overproduction' of this pleasure/reward chemical can lead to problems and 'DOPAMINE FASTING' or ignoring your phone is meant to reset your brain.  Do you feel like your brain is in need of a REBOOT?  If you say that in front of someone WHO is hip to the latest wellness trends, they might even suggest you go on a DOPAMINE FAST💥💥💥

BTW, even in the United States, on average, people spend 2 to 4 hours per day either tapping, typing and/or swiping on their devices So, that adds up to over 2,600 touches daily touches.  Problem is, most of us have become so intimately entwined with our digital lives such that we sometimes feel our phones vibrating in our pockets WHEN THEY ARE NOT EVEN THERE???

Our takeaway:  DON'T get me wrong, we need that DOPAMINE.  BUT the biggest BUT, we DON'T need the FAKE DOPAMINES.  Again, please DON'T get me wrong.  NOTHING wrong with social media BUT things get skewed WHEN/IF we cling [and frankly, MONITOR] our smart devices if there is a NEXT like, a NEXT emoji, a NEXT follower, a NEXT flattering comment.  NOT to scare everyone BUT recent studies show links between smartphone usage and increased levels of anxiety, depression, poor sleep quality and even increased risk of car accidents causing injuries and deaths.  WHY ARE SMARTPHONES SO HARD TO IGNORE!@#$%?

Did You Miss School? NO PROBLEM.

Did You Miss School?  NO PROBLEM.

Did You Miss School?  NO PROBLEM.  Yes we did learn a lot in school, no debate on that.  Having said this, there are some things that you DON'T.  These LIFE LESSONS are NOT taught in school.  It would help if you learned them the HARD WAY though.  True, school teaches us the sound fundamentals to be successful in life.  Name it.  Math.  Science.  And even History📗📙📘

BUT, we hope we reach a consensus here that NOT everything is taught in school.  To name a few of these LIFE LESSONS:

SWOT - Strength, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats.  Acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses is one of the biggest challenges you will face in your life.  We need to take a long and hard look in the mirror and find out WHAT we are good at and HOW our strengths can help us succeed💦💦💦

MANAGE EXPECTATIONS - A big chunk of the disconnects in our life is caused by EXPECTATIONS not being aligned between the person executing OR delivering something versus his stakeholder to whom that expectation is vested.  As it is normal that two expectations CAN'T be identical at the outset, MANAGING EXPECTATIONS is a MUST-DO not just for alignment but being on the same page pre-empts the probability of a disconnect.  As we all have different expectations, and we like to project unto others WHAT we deem as important, we tend to count on others to have the same OR similar expectations as we do💧💧💧

CRITICAL THINKING - Unfortunately, even psychologists admit that CRITICAL THINKING is a learned ability that must be taught.  Unfortunately, most individuals NEVER learn CRITICAL THINKING, putting everything in their lives at risk.  Frankly, CRITICAL THINKING involves logical analysis and comprehension of the links between concepts, making it a fundamental skill for success.  WHAT happens if we DON'T have this ability?  We may fail to process and analyze information effectively💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Much as we spend close to two decades in school [till we graduate from university], there are tons of LIFE LESSONS we need to learn by heart.  You might ask, are there consequences if we DON'T learn those LIFE LESSONS?  Yes, there are tons of ramifications and we can't understate the importance of all these LIFE LESSONS.  Heard of folks who even graduated With Honors from their university but have been noticeably flops in their real life?  Quite a lot though but that jinx can be cut and cut clean if we acknowledge the need for us to pick up and lear these LIFE LESSONS way after we have stepped out of our school's portals✅✅✅

Is BALANCING Act A Fallacy?

Is BALANCING Act A Fallacy?

The ongoing Paris Olympics has been on the headlines for several weeks now and it's that expected as we witness world-class athletes prove their supremacy in their respective fields.  Now, Is BALANCING Act A Fallacy?  Do we think the olympic champions did run their lives with a BALANCING ACT?  Balancing training vis-a-vis family and even personal relationship???

It's a loud NO sirrrrrrs.  They NEVER ran that BALANCING ACT in their life.  Instead, their uncompromising priority was their trainings.  Anything and everything else would play either second, third, fourth fiddle as long as those did NOT compromise OR impact their trainings.  I was never onsite at Paris Olympics BUT WHEN I pictured myself interviewing the olympic medallists, I am cocksure that they will give credit to their training regimen [and that includes coaches and even training facilities]!!!

Before I get bashed for riding on the bandwagon and the coat tails of the olympic champions, we can sing in unison that the first key in SUCCESS for these athletes was their uncompromising DEDICATION to their training.  This means having a 'laser focus' on your goals and being willing to put in the HARD WORK to achieve them.  WHETHER it means getting up early for extra training sessions OR staying up late to study game techniques even on video, these DEDICATED athletes understand that every minute counts and that they must make the most of every opportunity to improve.  And they NEVER stop there💥💥💥

These olympic champions understand that achieving their goal requires making sacrifices and managing their time wisely.  They must be willing to say NO to distractions even like social media OR hanging out with friends and instead focus on their trainings and schedules.  Oh yes, there is one word that is a bit contentious and indeed controversial WHEN we talk about SACRIFICES BUT WHILE we often talk about making SACRIFICES to achieve our goals, it's imperative to remember that their training was at the top of the totem pole✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  Ultimately, the success of these athletes were left in their very own hands.  Those WHO are UNCONDITIONALLY willing to focus on their trainings [with NO compromise] will determine their level of success and those with that uncompromising dedication are more likely to succeed than those WHO are NOT.  We heard this same refrain NOT just from the recent olympic medalists BUT even from the losers WHO, mostly admitted, they were ill-prepared to compete for various factors affecting their trainings.  So IS BALANCING ACT A FALLACY?  Yes it is❗❗❗

Laziness Is Our Enemy #1

Laziness Is Our Enemy #1

NO NO NO sirrrrrrrrrrrrs. Please DON'T get me wrong. I am NOT promoting OR encouraging Laziness [especially at work],  BUT if there is anything obvious, it is true that LAZINESS Is Our Enemy #1.  Problem is, LAZINESS can be defined or understood as either a lack of motivation, fatigue OR even plain brain fog.  Exploring the cause of HOW you feel is the first step toward resolving it.  Giving yourself a break, setting realistic goals, OR even asking for help

BUT if a LAZY day happens, YES it happens to the best of us.  In these busy times, taking the occasional LAZY day ISN'T just alright BUT it could be your much needed 'shot in the arm'.  NOW here's the catch.  If you observe that those LAZY days seem to be 'trending' more often than NOT, and you're having trouble getting things done, it could be a sign that there's 'SOMETHING' going on.  If it's at the workplace, could it be a lack of passion for your job?  OR is there just an overwhelming to-do list and even an underlying medical condition are just some of the things that can interfere with your desire to get things done

So, the $64 question is, is there an antidote to LAZINESS?  Can it be stopped?  Unfortunately, the answer may NOT be as cut and dry as you'd expect.  WHILE some people may be more prone to being lazy than others, even highly productive will absolutely find it challenging to get things done sometimes.  BUT tireless experts NEVER stopped figuring out how to stop LAZINESS, here we go:

MAKE MANAGEABLE GOALS - Setting unrealistic goals and taking on too much can lead to burnout.  Experts advise us to avoid overloading by setting smaller, attainable goals that will get you WHERE you want to be without overwhelming yourself

NEVER EXPECT YOURSELF TO BE PERFECT [because you are NOT] - Truth is, perfectionism is on the rise and it's taking its toll on us all.  This rise in perfectionism is causing people to be overly critical of themselves and even others

ADOPT POSITIVE [NOT NEGATIVE] SELF-TALK - Otherwise, NEGATIVE SELF-TALK can derail your efforts to get things done in every aspect of your life

CREATE A PLAN of ACTION - Planning HOW you will get something done can make it easier to get there.  Be realistic in your plans

Our takeaway:  Let us leverage on our strengths.  Take a moment to think about WHAT your strengths are WHEN setting goals OR gearing up to tackle a task.  Consider to apply them to different aspects of a task to help you get things done.  Dude, dismantling our ENEMY #1 is no mean feat BUT it can be done ONLY IF YOU WILL YOUR WAY❗❗❗

Dropouts And NOT Burnouts

Dropouts And NOT Burnouts

Many years ago, I was then an entry-level then at Oil Giant SHELL when our Dutch I.T. Manager announced that he was going back to the Netherlands because of BURNOUT.  Being naive and very raw at that time [and lo and behold, internet technology was extremely raw at that time], I had to go to Mr Webster and find the definition of BURNOUT.  Fast-forward today, you WON'T believe it, HOW TIME FLIES, the buzzword now is Dropouts And NOT Burnouts, and this pushes me in a dizzying spin and spell.  WHAT THE f____.  WHAT about DROPOUTS📗📙📘

For alignment, in the simplest terms, BURNOUT refers to that state WHEN or WHERE you reached that point you DON'T feel that drive and/or motivation to push with your core activities, e.g. working if you're a worker.  WHEREAS DROPOUTS has no deeper meaning than dropping out from the slate.  And even the statistics from the United States is alarming, with a national dropout rate of 10.9%.  That's HUGE and that's a HUGE problem, ISN'T it?  If a first world country like the U.S. can have that kind of stats data, WHAT can we expect from the data coming from the Third World countries?  BTW, this is NOT to be discriminatory of Third World countries💥💥💥

BUT my take here is that it's quite a stretch for us to concoct a sort of 'EPIDEMIC of OVERWORK' because that's illusionary, to say the least.  YET, the global movement to shift to a four-day working week seems to gaining ground, generating that steam.  Yesterday, no less than liberal U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders floated the idea of pushing for a four-day workweek.  And even in China, many young Chinese are so worried about their country's 996 work culture [9 to 9 six days a week] that they have even started a 'LYING FLAT' movement ['Tang Ping' in Chinese] and brutally they exclaimed 'WE EMPLOYEES ARE TOO TIRED.  WE HAVE TO LIE DOWN'.  But the mind-boggling question is, IS "HARD" REALLY SUCH A BAD THING?  Huhuhu💦💦💦

Interestingly, or rather amusingly, to answer that question seems much more interesting than the apostles of overwork suggest.  Truth is, even the latest economic data show that, on average, people are working fewer hours than ever.  Working hours have even declined the most in countries with higher GDPs because it takes fewer hours of work to earn a comfortable living.  Housework is also much more efficient, thanks to technology✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  Our workers today must work harder than our predecessors for the simple reason that there is so much more knowledge to absorb.  YOUNG lawyers MUST absorb more case law.  YOUNG bankers must command more recondite techniques.  It is possible that AI [Artificial Intelligence] will eventually reduce the pressure on our workers.  Ironically, WHAT's happening is the opposite.  It seems that technological advances seem to trigger the opposite effect WHEREBY it increases the pace and tempo of transactions.  And personally, this is an unwelcome burden as it seems DROPOUTS is becoming more prevalent even as BURNOUTS are now a thing of the past😖😖😖