What's Your Next 'NEEDLE-Moving' Move ?

What's Your Next 'NEEDLE-Moving' Move ?

Let's all align with NEEDLE-Moving. It means taking an action that leads you to an IMPACTFUL result.  And for the NBA hoopsters, that means your action could have been a GAME-CHANGER   And surely, many of us did get into that 'NEEDLE-Moving' Move.  But the bigger question is, What's Your Next 'NEEDLE-Moving' Move ?

Oh, let's cite a very common scene.  We all have seen ferris wheels everyone.   In the U.K., it is the LONDON EYE.  In Singapore, it's the SINGAPORE FLYER and in the U.S., nothing beats the HIGH ROLLER which is the very landmark along Las Vegas Strip.  So, the question is, how can ferris wheels remain an attraction anywhere everywhere ?

Oh, if there is a commonality amongst all these famous ferris wheels, it is the fact that each of them did MOVE the NEEDLE when each of them were launched for operations.  And they had to infuse tens of million USDs for them to lure its target market, the travelers, the revelers.  Swinging back to our life, I'm quite cocksure that somehow, you did MOVE the NEEDLE at least once in your lifetime.  But that's not our biggest confrontational question now.  Instead, we wanna know as to What's Your Next 'NEEDLE-Moving' Move ?

Now, let's swing over to the movie industry.  What explains the unabated successes of animated movies, to name a few, these all romp away with the biggest box-office hits, name it. TOY STORY. LION KING.  SPIDER MAN.  COCO  YOUR NAME.  So these are concrete tidbits of bonafide 'NEEDLE-Moving' Moves.

So, swinging back to our life, What's Your Next 'NEEDLE-Moving' Move?  Be it in school, at the workplace, at your home, within your relationship or even in your business forays.  But if you'll now admit that it may take 'donkey years' for your Next 'NEEDLE-Moving' Move,  then that is just pitiful.  Why?  Because TIME is never on our side.  TIME fleets even much faster than light.  BTW, our unseen nemesis is TIME itself.  We CAN'T buy TIME.  Neither can we lease it.  It just breezes past you, past me, damn fast.  Gotta scribble fast, write down in no mean terms your game plan for your Next 'NEEDLE-Moving' Move✅✅✅

Have You Built A 'HOUSE of CARDS' ?

Have You Built A 'HOUSE of CARDS' ?

Yes, this is non-debatable.  We all want to have our own house, who does not want it as human nature tells us that to have a house is one of the barometers of success. Take away the house in the equation, you are likely touted to have secured a victory that is no more than pyrrhic.  So, how about if we have built a 'HOUSE of CARDS' ?  Will that give us that stamp of approval, those bragging rights that indeed we have finally etched our mark in terms of SUCCESS?  Not to fast, dude.

Well Well Well.  Per se, no house structure is inherently flawed as long as you have combed your structure with a fine tooth comb to figure out for the 'weak links', find out if you ended up with a SPOF [single point of failure] such that when everything in your planned house crumbles down, it goes down very much like the way a 'HOUSE of CARDS' get built.

And when our 'HOUSE of CARDS' crumbles down, do you recall you would end up 'IN FITS'?  Very much befuddled why, after all the years of real damn 'hard work', everything in life just crumbles down like a 'HOUSE of CARDS'?  Well, the answer to this is NOT hidden up in the clouds.  Instead, let us [literally] LOOK DOWN, down there at the very foundations of what we built.  How was that foundation of your relationship?  Or over there at work?  Or it could be your very own persona.  How could be someone raised so well by well-meaning parents could end up in a total, ugly mess?

This is all what matters.  No matter how grandiose-looking is your facade because if that seems farcical, look no farther than this gif with the collapsing building.  How did things end up this way?  Oh that's one of the toughest questions to dissect and drill down because I am absolutely sure the answer is not in one sentence.

So, the HARD LESSON here is that there will be no easy answers for difficult questions.  BUT there is a way out of this quagmire.  When we do a post-mortem as to how things ended up so badly, relook and revisit how you built and created that FOUNDATION of that crumbling relationship.  Most common causes of a crumbling 'HOUSE of CARDS' is that it was built IN A RUSH or it was built NOT with QUALITY.  Think about it, those reasons seem to be no-brainers✅✅✅

Be A VALUE-ADD and Not a VALUE-LOST

Be A VALUE-ADD and Not a VALUE-LOST

Life is all about VALUE.  When your VALUE increases, your STOCK goes up.  And when your STOCK goes up, your guess is as good as mine.  The domino effect follows when the good tidings will get into your doorstep, when nothing goes wrong but instead, you add VALUE and NOT loose VALUE.

So, if there is a variable in life which we should never relegate to the backdrop, it is our VALUE whether as a student, as a worker at the workplace, a partner or spouse in a relationship or as an entrepreneur.  Let's see when your VALUE goes down on a spiral spin, what will happen next?  You can be looked down as a non-entity in school, or just another robot at the workplace, a partner/spouse who may just get walked off and abandoned by the partner or an entrepreneur who would see his revenues taking a nosedive and his cash register clanking less and less often.  So, why can't we Be A VALUE-ADD and Not a VALUE-LOST

Heard this before?  The older I get, the more I see how relationships are what matters in this life.  Our relationship with God, our relationships with our family, relationships with everyone else, we come in contact with.  When life progresses, it's NOT going to matter what our collections looked like, what furniture we had in our home, or what style of clothing we wore that may not be 'in sync' with fashion.  What will matter is the people we knew and the bondwe had with them.

Social scientists did run studies showing that minimalism brings a beautiful balance in life as it eliminates all the excess that would otherwise occupy our time and energy, opening so many more opportunities to bring value into our own life and the lives of others around us.  Certainly, we need to 'simplify' our calendar and strep away from the 'obligations' that are a drain and fill our lives with 'busyness'.

Just like when we 'declutter' our home and decide what items you love and use, you need to look through your calendar and let go of things that do not ADD VALUE.  So many things on the calendar are superfluous, let those items go and when you have freed up time and have some breathing room, you then ADD VALUE back in✅✅✅

The Negative Aspect of Being Positive

The Negative Aspect of Being Positive

All along, we have been harping, promoting and egging everyone to be POSITIVE POSITIVE POSITVE.  Now,  here I am, bannering the negative aspect of being Positive.  Oooops, am I turning around and eating up my very own words?  Not really.  In fact, NOT AT ALL.  Instead, we want to reinforce the fact that we should not take everything to the letter, hook, line and sinker because such is life, it can never be perfect, it would never give us the blanket guarantee to be always on the safe side if we follow general principles.  Instead, there are "WHAT IFs' which we need to be wary of.

What we DON'T encourage is TOXIC POSITIVITY as it becomes an obsession with positive thinking.  It is the belief that people should put a positive spin on all experiences even for those instances that are extremely tragic.  TOXIC POSITIVITY can silence negative emotions and make people feel under undue pressure to pretend to be happy EVEN WHEN they are struggling.  In some cases, it may even be self-imposed.  A typical example is a person may try to appear happy all the time by presenting everything in a positive light.  However, it can also be an external pressure such as when people tell a person who is grieving to move on or to look for a positive in their loss.

Unfortunately, TOXIC POSITIVITY can come in various shapes and forms.  Asserting after a catastrophe that 'everything happens for a reason"?  Urging someone to focus on the positive aspects of a devastating loss?  Telling someone tp get over their grief or suffering and focus on the good things in their life.  Labelling people who always appear positive or do not share their emotions as being stronger  or more likable than others.

Generally, POSITIVITY is NOT harmful.  However, a person who believes that they must only be positive may ignore serious problems or not address underlying mental health issues, if any.  On the same breadth, people who demand positivity from others may offer insufficient support or make loved ones feel stigmatized and judged.  And the risks of TOXIC POSITIVITY is dangerous no less.  HOW and WHY?  We could be IGNORING REAL HARM and that's very risky.  Unfortunately, optimism, hope and forgiveness increased the risk of people staying with their abusers.

Demeaning a loss is a NO-NO as well.  Grief and sadness are normal in the face of loss.  A person who repeatedly hears messages to MOVE ON or be happy might feel as though others do NOT care about their loss.  A parent who lost a child, for example, might feel that their child was unimportant to others and that will only compound their grief.  And our fix?  Balance things out❗❗❗

Always [as in ALWAYS] Practice the Shots You Need to Shoot

Always [as in ALWAYS] Practice the Shots You Need to Shoot 

Oh no, many of us tend to shoot down when this topic surfaces.  OH, WE KNOW THAT.  THAT'S A GIVEN.  THAT'S A NO-BRAINER.  All the stuff you can hear from a devil's advocate.  Our dilemma is, in real life, we really end up spending LESS TIME to improve our craft.  Why that disconnect?  When in truth, we should Always [as in ALWAYS] Practice the Shots You Need to Shoot !

DON'T look far.  How come those medical frontliners have been DAMN SO GOOD when administering those Covid jabs and shots?  Simple.  They always [as in ALWAYS] practice the shots they need to shoot  So, what's our shortfall here?  Often times, we [wrongly] thought that being in our 'comfort zones' give us that mantle of expertise with a 'DO NO WRONG' mark which, at the very least, is a FALLACY.

Over in the NBA, there's that 'PAVED ROAD' that will lead you to BIGTIME SUCCESS but what does it take to end up with millions of $$$$ way more than you would need in your lifetime?  From the time a budding player straight from college [e.g. from Duke U, Michigan State, name it], then they get picked in the NBA Draft, then they start off their NBA career at the 'ROOKIE PAY'.  Give it 2-3 years, they could be extended a 'MAX ROOKIE' pay that could start somewhere $100 million whew!   

BTW, these are NOT outlier stories.  For the less than 500-strong NBA players active in the rosters, the 1st and 2nd quadrant of players have inked huge mind-boggling multi-year contracts.  What led these players to one success story to another?  Now this is the worst ever secret we can spill.  They always [as in ALWAYS] practice the shots they need to shoot  When do they practice? NOT JUST during mandated ballclub trainings but even during the NBA Offseason, they have plotted their individual intensive trainings, with a retinue of trainers on hand.  In short, they invest in $$$$ to improve their craft.

The hard lesson for us all is this.  You can be at your peak now.  You may feel that you're on top Mount Rushmore now.  BUT here's the serious BUT.  There is simply NO guarantee that you'll remain atop come next day or even in the short or long term.  That explains why these highly paid NBA players are really hardworking dogs in the kernel, never stopping to ALWAYS PRACTICE THE SHOTS THEY NEED TO SHOOT✅✅✅

Steer Clear of Controversies, period

Steer Clear of Controversies, period.

Happy Sunday, enjoy your brewed coffee alongside our piece today.  Oh yes, this reminds me of one of the most basic NO-NOs in life.  That is, we need to remain to Steer Clear of Controversies, period.  Why?  First off, they are unnecessary.  And if it becomes unavoidable, ask ourselves, do we deserve to get embroiled in a controversy that can drag and worse, besmirch your name and character?

When this pandemic hit us hard, all over the world, we heard folks scampering to the supermarkets, attempting to scoop as much as they can during that 'panic buying' mode.  So POSTERIZED WARNINGS were placed all over the place.  And what if we did breach those POSTERIZED WARNINGS? We would have been caught, questioned and worst, penalized by the authorities, right?

Unless we are part of the forest wildlife, it does not take a huge human effort to Steer Clear of Controversies.  How?  READ the rules.  FOLLOW the rules [to the letter].  And worst of all worst things in life, NEVER EVER attempt to circumvent and go around the rules.  Being 'sneaky' can lead you to UNNECESSARY troubles which could have been EASILY avoided or averted in the first place.  Let us NOT be like those animals in the forest wildlife.

Oh yes, this is one of our most common mistakes [and I'd admit I made this same mistake over and over again in the past!], that is, making assumptions in a misplaced manner.  Classic example, something that did happen in the past becomes your assumption.  You got it all wrong, dude.  NEVER use the past as a barometer for your next move.

So what's our fix?  Be your own Mr FIX IT.  How?  WIDEN and EXPAND your perspective.  DON'T get 'hostaged' by the myopic [a.k.a. shortsighted] view of things.  If the solution you're eyeing for a problem will lead you to another round of problem [or worse, controversies], hold things in abeyance, STEER CLEAR of CONTROVERSIES, period❗❗❗

Staying Afloat and Alive

Staying Afloat and Alive

Happy Weekend folks.  Oh no sirrrrs, please DON'T misconstrue this first pic.  Certainly, we DON'T want anyone to be screaming for HELP, not out there in the waters anyway.  Instead, we'd like to dissect why many of us are hovering and bordering around the boundaries in life where Staying Afloat and Alive becomes the norm day-in day-out.

First off, we are NOT buoys, those objects anchored and constantly floating and serving as navigational marks in the waters.  So, if if ever we have that mindset to be Staying Afloat and Alive, that is disconcerting to say the least because it infers that our goal is nothing but to survive.  Is that all in life?

Can we imagine our lives akin to that struggling fisherman who ends up spending a big chunk of his time at sea by constantly thwarting, foiling to stymie the predators lurking around the vicinity of his boat?  Let's look back into our lives.  Imagine if every day, we spend at least 50% [or more] of our energy and time to JUST SURVIVE LIFE, to be JUST ABOVE WATER to Stay Afloat and Alive? If that's what you are in, life will be too exhausting draining, wearying and just too taxing.  But we DON'T deserve that kind of a vicious cycle, right?

So what's our alternative?  First off, being in a situation WAY OFF MUCH BETTER than just  Staying Afloat and Alive WON'T COST A FORTUNE!  See these kids in the coastal areas of North Africa, LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST?  Why is their life seemingly more buoyant, much more resilient? Simple.  It's because they are living a life that does not intend to be just Staying Afloat and Alive.  Barring a tsunami-like wave, these kids will remain HIGH and DRY!

So. what's our antidote to this vicious cycle of just Staying Afloat and Alive?  Oh, this poster is screaming "DREAM BIG" no less.  Say what you want.  AIM FOR THE SKY, SHOOT FOR THE STARS, GO FOR THE MOON.  Grab any of those one-liners and have it as part of your mantra in life and I can lift and raise your buoyant hopes that your life will be better off because you have notched up [NOT JUST INCREMENTALLY] your motivation not to just Stay Afloat and Alive❗❗❗

Riding Out The Storm

 Riding Out The Storm

We DON'T need introductions when it comes to storms and hurricanes.  And BTW, we won't spend even a second to talk about storms as a weather phenomenon. Instead, we'd like to spend a fraction of our time with regard Riding Out The Storms [of life] because this is a reality we got to embrace and more than just embracing, this is for us to deftly handle Riding Out The Storm.

The mother of all ironies is that despite the fact that storms are as common as daylight and sunlight, it's flabbergasting why many of us still end up struggling in handling the rage and fury of the STORMS IN LIFE. Want to know the FAILURE RATE of people caught in a STORM?

So, the $64 question is how do we get to Ride Out The Storm?  No simple trick but let's put it this way.  First things first, after the initial shock, apprehensions and probably coupled with fear, you need to calm down yourself.  Not until you simmer down, you can't get back to what is normal.  But once you have calmed at least internally, take a 'DAMAGE CONTROL approach. Prioritize the MUST DO's over the NICE TO DO.

Once you have your TO DO List, do it asap based on your priorities.  And where there are one too many priorities, go for the HIGH RISK issues as you need to mitigate and control it, just like if the floods have impacted your home such that waters are getting inside your home.  So what's your TOP PRIORITY?  It is to relocate your family to SAFETY FIRST.

And as you are in the midst of whatever 'STORM IN YOUR LIFE', keep that hope burning that further down, the seas will calm, the skies will clear and your situation will simmer down.  And that is guaranteed because after all, all these are the cycles of our life.  The worst thing I always dread is when you fail to RIDE OUT THE STORM because what happens next is could be speculative but the chances for you to survive that STORM in LIFE is all up to you, dude✅✅✅

The Weather Can Change So Fast

The Weather Can Change So Fast

So sorry, I am not here over-stretching out myself to be a Mr Weatherman this time around.  But rather, I'd like us to spend time about the weather' in our life.  And I guess there is no convincing here needed.  While we nurture life from its infancy till it becomes a full-blown one, regardless of any successes or milestones we could have achieved, The Weather Can Change So Fast such that things can change in an instant.  All the hoopla and funfare can suddenly turn into gloom, a breaking news story of a major success can instantly turn into a heartbreaking gloom.

In a moment, the strong winds could be swaying trees towards the east but in an instant, those trees can suddenly sway the opposite way.  A peace and tranquil pervading in a community can suddenly turn into a total bedlam and pandemonium [oh, remembering the recent arbitrary shootings really scares me to death].  A bond that glues a seemingly stable relationship can suddenly thin out, all because The Weather Can Change So Fast

And allow me to quote Lisa Carpenter, the famous Canadian Master Coach who says 'LIFE CAN CHANGE IN AN INSTANT", all because The Weather Can Change So Fast.  Unfortunately, today I started off working from home with back to back conference calls.  Lo and behold, in the middle of the flurry of tasks, suddenly, I thought my BP was shooting up because I was kind of felt dizzy, my head spinning.  After about 30 seconds, when I tried to call a colleague, she had to excuse herself because she was at the evacuation site.  What?

Whoa, an intensity earthquake did hit that part between Taiwan and Northern Philippines. Fatalities and damage to properties should easily hit hundreds of milliions but the thing is, we got to remember that in life, The Weather Can Change So Fast, in an instant, in fact.

What then is the antidote to all these?  Nothing really except for us to ENJOY THE MOMENT, not yesterday's [because that has passed], not tomorrow's [because we DON'T own what has yet to come].  Meanwhile, continue reinforcing that robust relationship with your bosses and peers at the workplace, reinforce that tight bond with your partner/spouse because that's all that matters in life because The Weather Can Change So Fast✅✅✅

When The Jury Is Still Very Much Out

When The Jury Is Still Very Much Out

Whether the jury system exists in your country or not, our common denominator is that in life, decisions are NEVER instant.  It does not just pop-up like popcorns.  But the question is, how relevant is this for today's piece?  Very relevant. Why?  Because in the cycles of life, for multifarious things to happen, more often than not, dependencies are a constant in the equation.  Many things cannot move forward unless and until a decision is arrived at, whether unilaterally, collectively or agreed on in a collegial body.  Or it could be a conjugal decision is the very fact that tells us When The Jury Is Still Very Much Out.

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Let us buckle down to real life and here's a couple who are lurking out there in the market for a residential property in the 'up market'.  But if there is something that stops that from moving forward, probably, the couple themselves have not agreed [as a couple] whether to proceed with the planned property purchase or wait till when the bears lord it out in the market.  Until then, the jury is still very much out.

Now, let's go for the facts.  How many marriages failed, how many business joint ventures floundered and how many families ended up in turmoil simply because one or more of the protagonists that the 'decision point' has been reached when in fact, just extend your neck out, you'll know the jury is still very much out.

Oh, how about that highly watched Bill Cosby cases that combined sexual assault sexual battery and even rape for accusations that purportedly started from way back the 1960s, whew.  In the end, it was simply ironical because his first trial ended in a mistrial.  And taking things literally, this was the exact culprit.  Until then, when the jury is still very much out, no verdict came up not until just recently last March 2022, the US Supreme Court ordered with finality the closure of all Bill Cosby cases.

In fact, every single circumstance in life has always a 'show stopper'  Many things can't just move forward unless the dependency is successfully hurdled.  Let's swing to the workplace.  If your work performance record is 'spotty' at best, how can you frame your plans of 'moving up the ladder' when your bosses and stakeholders have considered you to be on 'probation', someone to be observed, tracked, watched and monitored before anything else can move forward.  Unless the skies become as crystal clear as the waters, hold things in abeyance because the jury is still very much out✅✅✅