Never Miss Out the BACK-BURNERS

Never Miss Out the BACK-BURNERS

Yes, that is true, We are all biased and partial to those that are at the forefront, at the main burners.  Problem is, the bulk of things going on are in the BACK-BURNERS.  And that is our problem.  The frontage always gets the attention but what gets missed out are the BACK-BURNERS.  To ensure we are all aligned, let us do a sampling of typical goings-on in our lives which are often left in the BACK-BURNERS.  If you're in school, the minor elective subjects seem to be left in the BACK-BURNERS.  In your relationships, the gross disservice is when your partner/spouse seemingly gets stuck in the BACK-BURNERS, huhuhu.

Isn't that a 'RECURRING REPEAT' [pardon for the intentional redundancy] but here's the thing.  How often we heard that the spouse/partner gets overlooked, gets relegated alongside the backdrops until the relationship hits its rough patches and its foundation starts to weaken until it crumbles down to the ground.  All because the partner has been pushed to the BACK-BURNER.  Before you know it, the flicker and the luster of the once super sweet relationship has dissipated in thin air.

Let's now swing over to the workplace.  At the start when a 'prized catch' gets onboarded, his value to the organization seems to be at an all-time high [and that always happens in the 'honeymoon period' anyway].  Then when that 'honeymoon period' is over, that 'prized catch' has lost his luster and he ends up in the BACK-BURNER.  What happens next?  As he gets less and lesser attention, he starts to look out in the job market again.  Poor dude.

Truth of the matter. It is human nature to end up in a vacuum-like situation when after all the frenzied attention that did abound, when that dreaded eerie silence creeps in, one realizes that probably, he's now part of the BACK-BURNER, NOT deserving of the premium presence, NOT worth the attention of the stakeholders.

But hey, let us NOT 'over-analyze' and 'over think' unless you are able to validate that your best days in your school, in your organization, in your relationship or even in your business, that those BEST DAYS are behind you because there is nothing left of you except your shadows as a BACK-BURNER.  But hey, ask me:  can you get a 'second wind', a 'second life', a 'second change' around?  Sure you can but you got to DIG DEEP into your bag of tricks ❗❗❗

Make It Stick, Dude

Make It Stick, Dude

Oh, let me caution you.  Today's piece should not be one boring one.  Although STICKS seem that boring.  But would you agree that Sticks do Stick?  Whereas there are many more complex and convoluted things in life.  But the challenge we have in our hands is that more often, we are not given a second chance to redo things all over again.  Obviously, we are all confident that if we doing things take a second time around, we could do things much better, with more finesse, with more aplomb and most importantly, with an impactful aftermath.  However, the catch here is that things could have been impacted either way around.

How about clowns?  Why are they so impactful?  Why do they grab the headlines for extended periods of time, with their stories told and retold across?  What sets clowns apart from us?  Simple.  They are the best exemplifications of making things stick.  Throw clowns in any country, in any culture, in any event.  When the curtains fall, they would have likely left their mark deeply across their audience.  Hey, what makes clown impactful?  They are the top proponents of making things stick.  While they perform based on $$$, that's a non-issue.

BTW, to make things impactful, you DON'T have to be so convoluted and complex.  In fact, to quote Bill Clinton, "KEEP IT SIMPLE, shit". And by keeping things that way, you can leave your own imprint.  If you're a student in school, your submitted academic projects should be spotless and spot on.  If you're in the workplace, you must leave your own imprint such that you will be known for it.  Be it quality-focused, SLA-centric, customer-driven or even innovation-driven.  In a relationship, your partner/spouse must know from head to foot your personal imprint as a partner/spouse.

If you're an artist, leave your personal imprint and if you, your artwork will likely stand out and your audience will realize your work attributes in terms of perfectionism, creativity and an artist driven with meaning in his artworks.

You may NOT be an entrepreneur but think about your own BRANDING.  Obviously, this is easier said than done but think about it, if you get to be touted based on your best attributes in your endeavor, people will all swarm towards you, not because of you yourself but it's because of your BRANDING, how you have etched a name in your endeavor.  And if it's about relationships, if your partner/spouse 'adores' you heads over heels, imagine if you end up with more 'secret admirers' [not because of an ill intent]✅✅✅

When It Does NOT Gain Traction

When It Does NOT Gain Traction

Many things in life do NOT gain traction right on the first try.  BTW, some could have tried things out for the umpteenth time all in vain.  So how?When It Does NOT Gain Traction, what do we do?  Give up instantly? Or retry till we drop dead?  No sirrrrs, either way, it does NOT work that way.  For obvious reasons, why give up INSTANTLY?  On the other hand, let us take the extreme scenario when and where someone just keeps retrying and retrying forever?

Now comes social media all over the place.  As a first-person account, I did bear witness to people who just never gave up after falling flat a hundred times.  No thanks to social media, someone can keep reaching out via FB, via twitter, name it.  Does that make sense when it does NOT gain Traction

So, what exactly is traction?  Why fuss much about it?  Simple.  Gaining or NOT gaining traction is your very bellwether.  It tells us if we started things on the right or wrong foot.  While it does not guarantee that you will succeed on that endeavor, it does give us the affirmation that you are on the right path, right track

No need to look far.  Those successful athletes finally made their mark after arduous tries and trials and they all went through a game plan that was formulated not for the short-term but even for the long-term.  But how and what made them decide to pursue that long-term game plan?  It is because, at its earliest stages, they confirmed gaining traction because they were slowly seeing the fruits of their hard work, albeit in small drips and drops.

Where and when you DON'T gain traction, what do you do?  Simple.  Go back to the drawing board.  Reset.  Reboot.  Revalidate because things are way off mark.  This holds water especially in relationships.  If you and your partner/spouse have been in 'turmoil' in extended periods, re-examine, reboot and restart the relationship❗❗❗

Tomorrow is Promised to No One

Tomorrow is Promised to No One

How often do we hear:  HOW ABOUT TOMORROW?  Whether it's a task to be performed, something to be processed, an output that needs to be generated, a discussion that needs to clear up the air, a conflict that needs to be resolved, a problem that needs to be fixed but hey, Tomorrow is Promised to No One.

But we can retort, why are we NOT entitled to tomorrow?  Well, you and I are entitled to tomorrow but what is NOT promised that when tomorrow comes, the task you put off will be done, the output you need to generate will churn out the report, the discussion will transpire, that conflict will be resolved, if at all and the lingering problem will be fixed.  As this poster goes, tomorrow is promised to no one.  Semantics-wise, yes tomorrow will come but your misplaced and unfounded expectations may not materialize, if at all.

Oh yes, I got an idea for today's piece when I recently watched an old movie by Clint Eastwood, and that one-liner did hit me beyond my lapels.  Why?  Because many of us [that includes me many times in the past] invested so much hope and expectations for tomorrow, missing out the fact that what matters most is today because this is the moment.  Why do many of us put off for tomorrow what can be done, fixed, resolved or accomplished today?  I know the answer.  We got so spoiled by Father Time, skewing and even distorting our understanding, this time around, [wrongly] thinking that anything you put off for tomorrow, you will be fine.  No Senor, not at all.  

So while promises abound everywhere, let's think about the cynics, the pessimist.  How often you come across someone who worries much about tomorrow?  Like WHAT IF there will be a thunderstorm.  Like WHAT IF there will be a traffic gridlock.  Like WHAT IF there is too much work tomorrow.  Like WHAT IF you feel lazy and not so energized come next day.  And that litany goes on like you are in the infinity pool.  But can we throw out of the window all those WHAT IF [although this is the truism if you are in Risk Management].

Indeed, quite often we are in a quandary because too much is at stake and YET, too much is tied up to tomorrow, a day that was never promised to us but we kept clinging to it.  How many debacles have we witnessed wherein we end up scratching our head because when indeed tomorrow did come, alas, what we thought was NOT there, what we expected was NOT there either and the 'HAPPY ENDING' we optimistically thought did not materialize at all.

So what's the fix?  Let's have both our feet firmly on the ground.  Let us have a REALITY CHECK and as to how we are faring, let us run a PULSE CHECK to know where things are going right and where things are off track.  In our lives, when the locomotive is shaping up to be a train wreck, even before disaster strikes, there will be RED FLAGS that will pop up.  It's for you to recognize it and rectify asap.  Just constantly remember that TOMORROW IS PROMISED TO NO ONE❗❗❗

When All Hands Are On Deck

When All Hands Are On Deck

How often do we hear our leaders declare that All Hands Are On Deck?  Well, it does not happen everyday but when it does, what does it mean to us?  And obviously, the bigger question is:  WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?  But that is a question crafted for you and not for anyone else to answer.  What is at stake?  What do I gain?  What dividends will I reap?  And WHAT IF I don't lift my finger at all?

Definitely, there will be too many WHAT IFs
not because your mindset is synchronized either within your family or your organization but moreso because this equation contains one too many variables such that the results can swing as wild as the pendulum does and if you leave your own fate to that pendulum that swings, one too many WHAT IFs can lead to one too many UNKNOWNs in life.

So, when we hear marching orders like All Hands Are On Deck, what does this really mean?  Simply put, it means that either your family or organization has reached a point of reckoning where everyone needs to pitch in because not even fractions of the organization can take matters into its own hands.

Years back, my global boss sent his marching orders for us to fly to our Silicon Valley Headquarters because it was All Hands On Deck.  Long story short, two years later. our organization was part of a huge M & A [Merger and Acquisition] in the technology space and looking back, I realized flying all the way to the US was our RECKONING POINT.

What does this mean to us if at all?  Never miss that opportunity to be an integral part when All Hands Are On Deck because whether the boat sinks or survives, you will always be part of that success or undoing.  The worst thing to happen in life is when you skip and ignore things by looking the other way around.  IF that happens, that will be your UNDOING that will be most regrettable❗❗❗

How CONNECTED Are You?

How CONNECTED Are You?

Not to piggy-back with today's 'IN' thing but indeed, 'CONNECTION' has evolved to be the norm especially the past two years where we all got LOCKED OUT by this pandemic.  So, how CONNECTED are you?  Regardless if you're still a student, a worker, an entrepreneur or someone in a relationship now, to be CONNECTED is now the norm.  Ooooops, to be CONNECTED is NOT even an option for us to skip.

Oh yes, for those techie SMEs, anytime they hear CONNECTED, likely they will think of IOT [Internet of Things] but no sirrrrs, today's piece is NOT about IOT.  Instead, this is all about how are we really CONNECTED [are we?] in life but instead, we'd like to dissect as what are the consequences of being DISCONNECTED. If you're still in school, expect to struggle in your academic performance.

At the workplace, if you are DISCONNECTED,  not sure with your awareness and alignment with your organization's goals, mission and vision.  And in terms of delivery to clients, not sure if you are aligned with the quality aspects your clients demand and expect.  And if you're in a relationship, being DISCONNECTED does not augur well for your relationship because that will likely lead to gaps that may widen.

At the end of the day, what binds us in our endeavors are our being CONNECTED consistently.  Keyword here is CONSISTENCY because if we end up like a 'flash in the pan',  we are being deceptive to ourselves because sporadic flashes lend credence to doubts of your credibility in being CONNECTED.  BTW, lip service is equally self-defeating.  You can't cheat on yourself because in the end, you are pushing yourself deeper in that morass.

Ask me, what could be a game-changer or even a life-changer?  It is either being CONNECTED or DISCONNECTED because that separates the grain from the chaff.  So, there is no unwritten formula here.  Be genuine to your partners in school, at work, in your business or at the workplace and never waiver and weaken your resolve to be on the same page❗❗❗

Be QUICK to Listen, SLOW to Speak

Be QUICK to Listen, SLOW to Speak

Question:  Have you ever been advised to Be QUICK to Listen, SLOW to Speak ?  I guess, hardly and likely, nary at all.  I DON'T evem remember myself being advised on this at all.  Why?  Probably, it's because many of us are guilty of this [and I'd be the first one to admit that many times in the past, I was guilty of this too].  But then, it's never late for us to RIGHT THE WRONGS.

To take a leaf from james 1:19, Be QUICK to Listen, SLOW to Speak [AND... SLOW TO get angry]. And this truism can't be more valid.  Because, the truth of the matter is that more often than not, we have that propensity to SHOOT FROM THE HIP.  We even tend to speak way ahead of our vocals because instantaneously, we tend to pre-judge or prematurely reach to conclusion bereft of the validated facts and data that need to be pieced together to come up with the complete picture that is neither skewed nor distorted.  Let's look back into our lives and recall those repeated exceptions where we are that guilty akin to having blood in our hands.

At work, have we pre-judged some of our colleagues?  In our relationship with ur partner/spouse, HOW OFTEN were you QUICK to SPEAK yet SLOW to LISTEN? And guess what happened when we pre-judged our colleagues or even our partner/spouse?  And guess what happened next?  Did you SPEAK LOUDLY so cocksure of your raw and premature conclusions?

The mother of all ironies is that often times, communications is ongoing between two parties but what results next is still a gap, a disconnect.  Why?  More often, it is due to the fact that we are NOT actively listening.  We refuse to hear things we DON'T want to hear.  FILTERING intrudes as part of the variables in the equation.  End result?  Both the protagonists will declare "I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU" and the gap that was originally a mile apart exacerbates to become a ten-mile disconnect, no thanks to one or two parties who either wholly or partially shut down his/her eardrums as part of FILTERING.

When things get overblown beyond proportions, what's next?  It becomes a full-blown conflict when it all started off simply as a misunderstanding. If only we are QUICK to Listen and SLOW to Speak, a hell lot of conflicts all around us could have been averted in the first place.  In the end, this becomes an unnecessary problem, a problem of our own making.  If only we are QUICK to Listen, SLOW to Speak ✅✅✅

A Season Least Expected

A Season Least Expected

All year-round, we have lots of cyclical seasons.  There's summer, winter and even Christmas Season.  But who in the world ever thought that this highly digitized world will lead us to this banner page from my banker [Citi] that Any season can be a 'PHISING SEASON'.  Indeed, it's been a rowdy, rough and tumble world we live now.

Indeed, this 'PHISHING SEASON' is the mother of all seasons.  And to give credit where it is due, year-on-year, fraudsters are always [at the very least] a step ahead of any of the crack security specialists we have in the western world.  Not even the techie SMEs from Silicon Valley can match toe-to-toe with these fraudsters.  Talk about innovation, my hats off to these fraudsters [unfortunately].  Now, lifting this pic from my Citi alert wherein it tells us to ALWAYS look for that 'PADLOCK ICON' before ever ever clicking a new URL link.

And pasting again this Citi Alert, the "DO NOT" alerts are redundantly repeated, no thanks to our stubbornness to heed to alarming alerts.  BTW, why do we have stubborn folks who end up being preyed by fraudsters?

Yesirrrrreeee, we heard this a zillion times, that CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT.  Unfortunately, some of us seemed to have become cat-cloned because no amount of ALERTS & WARNINGS have ever dissuaded us and tempered our MISPLACED CURIOSITY.  When an unknown mail sender sends a mail with a link that's enticing us to be rewarded with generous gifts and freebies, we just can't wait to click it right away.  When we receive an SMS alert that puts us in 'ALARM' mode, we react as if we're HELPLESS.

Final words to share.  If your digital or online account does NOT have the 'LOCK' option, go and find a financial services provider offering that 'LOCK' option.  Take it from me.  When I got hit with an attempted fraud [with a 'huge' purchase from Walmart, AZ], I decided that it was time to leverage on that 'LOCK' option because that's the only proactive measure to secure your digital accounts at your unguarded moments [which could be 99% of the time]❗❗❗

Any Warts in Your Game?

Any Warts in Your Game?

No sirrrrrrs, this piece is NOT about physical health and wellness. Not my turf.  Instead, this is all about us taking stock of things, being our own worst and toughest critic who won't mince words to call spade a spade.  Any Warts in Your Game?  I won't buy it if someone retorts that he's got no warts in his game because that is no less than baloney.  Not even the success stories of Bill Gates and Elon Musk gives them that mantle of invincibility.

Let's ask any Tom, Dick and Harry.  In unison, they will loudly proclaim that there is NO need to ask them for their CHINKS in their ARMOR because they know it and are aware of it, period.  But try pressing them to dissect more and they would push you backward and reinforce their OMERTA, that traditional oath to keep their lips sealed.  Too bad, this is part of our human nature.  Generally, we refused to acknowledge and accept the WARTS in our GAME.

When in truth and in fact, those WARTS in our GAME should NOT be dreaded or avoided at all.  For all we know, those are not chronic chinks but rather it could be skills that need to be honed and sharpened.  And what will it take for us to perfect such skills, this is the most open secret everyone is aware of.  It all boils down to LEARNING and PERFECTING it over and over again.

Frankly, the myth that we do NOT have WARTS in your GAME or CHINKS in our ARMOR [as the Roman gladiators boasted] can be traced back during the long reigns and rule of the revered Roman Empire.  From the emperor down to the last gladiator standing, they swore head over heels that they were all the near-perfect warriors who would survive each battle unscathed.

Bottom line, much as our life is imperfect, we need to constantly endeavor to smoothen the corners and sharpen the edges even those tweaks will hardly move the needle.  As long as you acknowledge your WARTS in your GAME, that is consoling enough if you will append to it a remediation plan how to correct your wrongs and improve on your strengths✅✅✅

Where's the Inflection Point

Where's the Inflection Point

Here we go again.  Everyone agrees that life is never flat, not even like Planet Earth [as some wrongly hypothesized]. On the other hand, while everyone of us know fully well that indeed life is no less than a rough-and-tumble world, what befuddles us is that many of us are not lifting any finger at all on the premise that this is all part of life and there is nothing we can do.  But hey, I'll push hard on you to be incisive to figure out as to Where's the Inflection Point.

The huge challenge is that point when we hit the crossroads and our upcoming judgment call and decision could be a game-changer and even life-changing.  And here's our common pitfall. When we make decisions at an Inflection Point, such decision must be thoroughly assessed, including doing a thorough assessment of the risks because whether you go east-ward or west-ward, likely there is NO perfect option.  It all boils down on your judgment call.

The trickiest part is that at that Inflection Point, there is NO helpline, not even your close coterie, not even your cordon sanitaire, if you have one.  WHY?  Because when you get to that 'Y' road crossing, more often, the two options at hand are almost on the same footing , not offering you a runaway option but instead a close call.

Let's a sampling of nerve-wrenching Inflection Points.  If after you graduate from university, there's a Masteral scholarship offer from the U.S. Ivy League.  At the same time, here's a Fortune 500 dangling you a carrot, a job offer that's too good to refuse.  Your take?  It's your take.  In relationships, it's an altogether different ballgame.  On one hand, you want to pamper and spoil your partner by giving in to his/her whims.  Yet, from a practical standpoint, you would ask yourself:  Is it prudent?

There you go, folks.  We cannot look far ahead down the road beyond the Inflection Point that is staring right in our face.  Point is, whether you take the first option or the second option, DON'T feel bad.  Even assuming you end up picking the wrong option, it WON'T be cataclysmic but assuming your call was NOT the best but next time around, your better judgment is what you need to take you to the next level❗❗❗